mycollectivesoul

“NO” Is A Full Sentence

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“No” is a full sentence.

And that means that there does not need to be an explanation as to WHY you said “no” in the first place.

I’ve always had trouble telling someone “no,” as I’m sure you have as well, whether it’s our children, friends, significant other, or even someone we work with, yet I know there are times I need to say it, and I say it because it doesn’t serve my Highest Good. I could be tired or not feeling well; I could have too much on my plate at that moment or simply need that down time to just “be.”

And at those moments I’ve always felt compelled to give a full explanation as to WHY I said no, yet over the years I’ve learned that I don’t need to do that. The person on the receiving end of my “no” should respect me enough to accept it. End of story.

But not everyone will accept it.

They are the ones that will keep at you until you give them what they want: a “yes.” It’s their way of controlling you because of their own insecurities over controlling themselves. It’s their way of feeding their own ego by knowing they were able to get what they wanted from you; and it’s their way of making you feel “out of control.”

Remember this: “what you allow will continue.”

It’s okay to think of yourself first and do what’s best for YOU, and if that means saying “no” when you need to, then it’s a good thing. And those moments that you say “yes” when you mean “no” can affect those around you, because when you give in to someone you feel frustrated with yourself, and sometimes even defeated that they won.

Don’t let anyone take your power from you or your free will to simply say “no.”

The people who love you will accept a “no,” but more importantly, the people who RESPECT you will.

And for those that don’t?

Let them go.

You control your life; you make your own boundaries with people; and you have the choice to “enable their behavior or disable their control.”

The choice is always yours.

Think about it.

And please remember this: “NO” is a full sentence.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Always Stay Humble and Kind”

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I wanted to share this song by Tim McGraw with you. It’s called “Humble and Kind” and truly has an inspiring message for everyone. Please take a moment to listen to it and read through the lyrics below. There’s a strong message of how the world can change and lives can be happier if we simply remember our roots and live by being”humble and kind.” I hope you enjoy it!

“Humble and Kind”

“You know there’s a light that glows by the front door
Don’t forget the keys under the mat
When childhood stars shine, always stay humble and kind
Go to church cause your momma says to
Visit grandpa every chance that you can
It won’t be wasted time
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door, say please, say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

Don’t expect a free ride from no one
Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why
Bitterness keeps you from flying
Always stay humble and kind
Know the difference with sleeping with someone
And sleeping with someone you love
I love you ain’t no pick up line so
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door say please say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

When it’s hot, eat a root beer popsicle
Shut off the ac and roll the windows down
Let that summer sun shine
Always stay humble and kind
Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you’re goin’
Don’t forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind.”

~Tim McGraw~

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“My Collective Soul” release 2/23/18

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My next book, “My Collective Soul: ThingsI Know Without Knowing Why” will be released on 2/23/18! This book is a collection of short storie and essays on how to live your life to its’ Highest Good! I’m beyond excited to see another of my “dreams” become a reality! I’ll keep you all posted on my upcoming “adventures” for the release of my new book!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“A Perfect Christmas”

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Christmas is fast approaching and the countdown is on. Final decorations are being done on and around the house and wish lists of gifts are being bought. It’s another year of making the “perfect Christmas” happen for your family and friends.

Yet is all this preparation what makes it perfect? Will you and yours remember the decorations and gifts? Will you remember the table and the meal?

Or will you remember the “imperfections?”

Will you remember the year that mom’s arm got caught inside the turkey as she was taking the giblets out? Will you remember the year you broke your arm on Christmas Eve only to wake up to a new skateboard the next day? Will you remember the year the entire family had the stomach virus and all camped out in the living room? Will you remember your sister running down the stairs on Christmas morning only to miss the bottom step?

You see, it’s the “imperfections” that make it perfect. It’s not the matching Christmas pajamas and the family Christmas cards, it’s the family. It’s not the beautifully set Christmas table with a delicious dinner, it’s the people who sit around it.

While “perfection” can be captured in a picture, it’s the “imperfections” which are captured in your heart. They become the stories shared and passed down to other generations. They become the tradition of storytelling and the legacy for our children.

As years pass, so does the idea of the “perfect” Christmas, and as we grow older, we begin to realize that what means the most is the memory of the “imperfections” and the loved ones who were part of them. Life changes, children move away, and sometimes the many faces that once sat around our table are no longer with us.

But their memories are…their stories are…and their love always surrounds us.

And sometimes we forget that. I see so many people writing about their sadness in missing the “old days,” yet I think that is such a waste of energy. I know that there are those I’m missing, yet I choose to embrace the memories as stories to share with my children. I choose to embrace this time, these loved ones, who are in my life now, and who will be around my table this year.

Memories aren’t meant to bring sadness, they’re meant to bring joy! And for those feeling an ache in their heart, please try and remember the love, the joy, and the memories of those not present this year. They gifted you with all those things and more.

Remember the “imperfections” that make every Christmas the “perfect one!”

Because in the end, the perfect Christmas is found within your heart.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“The Godfather”

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I lost someone very special to me a few years ago today. He was an amazing man and while I wasn’t in his life for very long, he made an impact on mine to last a lifetime. Tom Contreras was “the godfather” to me and always wanted me to write about him…and I not only wrote about him, I published his story in my last book. This is my story about “The Godfather!”

It’s not very often in this lifetime that you meet someone who makes an impact on your life, yet I met such a man who left this world too soon on a Saturday night late in December after a night spent with family and friends.  He’s my love’s cousin, Tommy Contreras, and he became one of my closest friends ever since I was introduced to him. I touched base with him by phone daily, and my love and I would “conference” call him together a few nights a week, and believe me, those calls were nothing short of belly laughs, off color jokes, and love!

I didn’t know him as long as his family, yet with Tommy you felt like you knew him a lifetime. He had a way of making you feel like you were his family and I am forever grateful to him for making me feel that way. I used to call him “the Godfather” because I could call him for advice, or even better, his opinion! He loved that title, especially belonging to a big Italian family!

He had a smile that lit up the room, and a laugh that made you laugh right along. He had an amazing singing voice and an incredible sense of humor with just the right amount of sarcasm. He had the ability to make fun of himself just to make you laugh, and he was famous for opening up a conversation with “you won’t believe what happened to me!” And then he’d proceed to tell you about the craziest things that I truly believe could only happen to him!

He was a “gentle giant” with a heart as big as the ocean and enough love to go around the world.

Tommy left too soon, yet it was an honor, privilege and a blessing to have known him, and to have been with him, surrounding him with love, as he closed his eyes and left this world.

He was my “words with friends” partner and I was finally winning! He was the “go to” guy when I needed advice about his cousin and he was my friend. I’ve been missing him, but as his family and friends all gathered together at one of his favorite restaurants in Point Pleasant, Frankie’s, two days after he passed, his presence was felt. I felt the emptiness of him not being with us, as did his family, yet the night belonged to him, filled with stories told through laughter and tears. And truth be told, his body may not have been there but his spirit and soul was. It still is.

He left a legacy to his family and to anyone lucky enough to know him and not everyone is able to do that. I don’t think he ever realized the important place he had in the lives of those who knew him; I don’t think he truly knew how much he was loved; I don’t think he understood just how much he meant to the people he met.

But I know that where he is now, he does know. And he’s smiling, he’s not in pain, he’s happy and he’s watching over all of us…even me.

I hope he knows now how much he’s missed, but more importantly, that he’s remembered with love and laughter, stories and memories. I’m absolutely sure that the immense amount of love we all have for him followed him straight up to Heaven!

I miss this man and think of him often, yet I know he’s around. I feel his presence during a family party and hear his laughter when someone tells a good old-fashioned, off color, funny joke!

He always got on my case about being in one of my books, always saying to me “I’m in the next book, right?” I always answered the same way: “yes, you will be, just waiting for the spirit to move me to writing it!”

And his spirit moved me.

I will forever be grateful to this man for allowing me the blessing of being part of his life; it was both an honor and a privilege, and I’m grateful to be part of some of those great family stories and memories now….

There are moments now that I want to call him and say “Hey, you won’t believe what happened to me!”

But I can’t.

What I can do is close my eyes, think about him and hear his voice.

Yet every so often, my heart feels a bit selfish and I can’t help but think that he should be here; he should be here to be a part of our lives, of our dreams, of our laughter and tears; he should be here with hugs at family parties and to celebrate our successes. He should be here…

But then again, I have to remind myself that he is here and always will be…in all of our hearts and all of our minds.

This one’s for you, Tom Contreras

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

tommy-memorial

Tom Contreras – The Godfather

“Rules: Break Them Or Change Them?”

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Rules are in place for a reason, especially when it pertains to a job. They are not meant to be broken, yet sometimes they need to be changed for the best interest of the company, the employee, and the family behind the employee.

I worked for a large company years ago and saw a need to “change” the rules a bit when it came to the employees and boosting their morale. Parties were not something the company smiled upon as they believed it would take the employees out of the “work mode” and into a “party mode.” I thought differently so I went to the head of the company and explained my idea.

I told him that as a supervisor I wanted my staff to love their job, as a happy employee promotes greater work from them. The people I was supervisor to were hard workers, yet there were days I listened to them complain about the job and how they felt they weren’t appreciated. My idea was simple: on the first day of each season we would have a party: seasonal foods, decorations and dress. There was a strict dress code within the company and I thought that four times a year that could be lifted, and that a party for each season would bring the staff closer to one another and would most assuredly boost their morale.

The rule was never to have such parties, and I didn’t want to break them, but I thought it was worth the attempt to “change” them. After all, some rules have been in place for many years and as life changes, so should some of the rules.

And the “change” was approved.

And every employee was excited over the first party I had planned.

The first one was our “Welcome to Summer” party. Each employee decorated their work area with beach towels, flip flops, pails and shovel, seashells and palm trees. They dressed in “summer” clothes; shorts, Hawaiian shirts and sandals. There were even a few beach chairs and umbrellas decorating the office. Each person brought in a summer dish to share with their unit: there was fruit salad, potato and macaroni salad, pasta salad and more! We played Beach Boys music and had a day of fun together and a day of everyone still getting their work done…and completed with perfection.

The day was filled with smiles, laughter, singing and getting to know each other better…and it was filled with happiness.

So you see, the rules that are in place aren’t meant to be broken, but are certainly worth the effort to attempt to “change” them for the best interest of everyone involved. I know from experience that not every rule will be chanegd, yet it’s certainly worth it to try.

It was worth it for me.

And it was worth it for my staff.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“On Board A Tanker”

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tanker

Every so often Rob takes me to a sailing with him. His job as a ship agent takes him to many ports on the shores of New York and New Jersey and it’s exciting to go to work with him and see what he does. It’s also cool to be up close to these giant sized ships.tanker 5

Our adventure last weekend began at 8am on Saturday morning. We drove to a port in Newark so that he could board an orange juice ship. I sat in the car near the water’s edge and watched him as he walked through the gates and up the gangway. It’s an amazing sight to see the  crew members walking along the top of this massive ship…and it’s pretty cool to know that it’s delivering orange juice!

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Our view for lunch in Staten Island

We left Newark and drove to the launch in Staten Island where he was scheduled to board a tanker carrying petro. It was near lunch time so we stopped at a local Italian deli and took our food to a park nearby; it was beautiful to be eating lunch by the water with the skyline of New York City as our view. We finished eating and headed to the launch.

The person behind the desk was waiting for Rob to show them the paperwork to get a launch boat to take him to the tanker waiting for him in New York harbor. He asked if I could get on the launch with him and they said “yes.” I thought I was just taking a ride to the ship and was a bit surprised, and scared, to know that I could board the tanker with him. The gangway that led up the side of the ship was more than 50 steps high; Rob climbed up in front of me quickly and with ease; I climbed up behind him slowly and cautiously. We got on the ship and had to climb up and down more ladders, signed in with a crew member and proceeded to the captain’s office.

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My view from the bridge

The captain and crew were from India. At first they seemed a bit quiet and reserved while Rob did all the necessary paperwork with them, and then I began to ask questions (as only a writer will do!) I asked the captain and the crew  what they do while they’re at sea to pass the time. He told me that they watch television, read, relax, and spend time together yet he did tell me that this type of tanker doesn’t allow any alcohol on board for safety reasons. No beer, no wine, no anything. The captain said it doesn’t bother them and that no one misses it.

He began to tell me that he’s at sea for four months, then home for four, then the cycle starts all over again, and keep in mind, he’s been a captain for over 15 years. He told me that he’s married with three young children. I asked him how his time away from home affected his marriage. He told me that his wife likes the four months of handling the money and being in charge of the household, and that she has a “to do list” ready for him when he gets home.

And then he told me something that surprised me yet melted my heart. He said that “even though my wife and I are apart for four months, each time I go home is like the first time and it’s as if we fall in love all over again. It’s still exciting and we make the most of our time together until I leave again.”

Wow…he’s not only a ship captain, he’s a hopeless romantic.

Before we left the captain was gracious enough to show me the bridge and give us a tour.

I learned a lot on that ship last weekend.

I learned that no matter where anyone is from there is a universal language of love.

I learned that we’re all connected in some way.

I learned that everyone truly does have a story.

And I learned that my love for people, their stories and trying new things is far greater than my fear of climbing up the side of a ship on a gangway.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

*For more information on the job description of a ship agent, you can search this website for my story  “A Day In The Life Of A Ship Agent.”

 

 

 

 

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“Helpless When You Smile”

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I’ve learned that no matter what kind of day someone is having you can help change that moment when you smile at them, because they’ll smile back. In fact, most people become “helpless when you smile,” but helpless in a good way: they see your smile, they feel your positive energy behind it, and they share in your happiness. They begin to let go of their bad day and become helpless at staying in that bad place; they’re helpless when you smile.

Make a difference in someone’s day today.

Make an effort to share your positive energy with someone who needs it.

Make someone “helpless when you smile” today.

It’s a good thing…

Wishing you love, light, and smiles,

~Anne Dennish~

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“4 AM”

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4am2

It’s been well over a week now that I find myself getting up at 4am. It’s not that I’m going to bed early the night before, yet I find myself waking at 3am, going back into a broken sleep, and finally giving in, giving up and getting up at 4 am.

There’s so much going on in my mind right now; questions I need answered seem to be more present during the night than during my waking hours.

  • When will my new book, “My Collective Soul: Things I Know Without Knowing Why” be released?
  • Will the new book be well received and a success?
  • Will the new motivational speaking lectures I’m about to begin change a life and make a difference to someone?
  • Will my relationship ever move to the next level?
  • Will this sadness tucked deep within my heart ever go away?
  • What is holding me back and what do I need to do to move forward?
  • Will my intuition ever stop speaking to me about the reality of my life?
  • Will my heart ever catch up to what my head already knows?

That’s a lot for 4 am, yet I embrace the questions in my mind because it’s my Higher4am Power watching over me and looking out for me. It’s the questions that only I can answer and deep inside, I know the answers to most of them. And while some of the answers may be difficult, I know without a doubt that they will allow me to live my Highest Good. Anything waking me up at 4 am must be important and I have to pay attention.

Aside from all the chattering in my mind, there are some beautiful things about waking up at 4am.

  • No one else is up and the house is quiet.
  • The sky is so dark that you can see a billion stars and constellations.
  • There’s a stillness outside that you don’t have during the day.
  • There’s a different kind of energy at that time…exciting and yet calming.
  • It’s a time when I can hear my thoughts and my intuition speaking to me.
  • And the best thing is this: it’s MY time alone.

Would I like to sleep in? Absolutely.

Am I okay with waking up at 4 am? Absolutely.

There’s a reason I’m waking up at that time, and that reason is “me.” My Higher Power knows I need this time to think, to write, and to sit in silence outside to listen and learn.

4 am: It’s early but it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Everything You Want Begins With You”

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begins with youI’ve been hearing a lot of grumblings going on out there lately. So many people seem disappointed with their life; they don’t have what they want and they don’t understand why. And here’s why:

“Because everything you want in your life begins with you.”

You have the control and the power to have what you want.

If you want peace in your life then you have to start find the peace within you.

If you want respect from others, you have to respect yourself first.

If you want to be loved you have to love yourself first and in the way that you want to be loved.

If you want to surround yourself with positive people, you have to let go of the negative ones.

If you want a loving and kind life partner, you have to be loving and kind to yourself first.

If you’re unhappy with your job then find a new one or change your attitude about it.

If you’re frustrated that you don’t have as much money as you want, be grateful for what money you do have and decide what you can do to have more.

If you want to learn to trust people you must first trust yourself and your intuition.

If you want to write a book, start typing.

If you want to take a vacation, start saving and planning.

If you want to fulfill your dreams, stop chasing them and begin to catch them.

And if you are unhappy with your life, change it. Turn the page. Move forward. Wish the negative situations and people in it “love and light” and let them go. Love yourself. Believe in yourself. Change your perspective. Keep a positive attitude. Be grateful. Count your blessings. Take a leap of faith and know that everything you want will happen as it should, how it should and when it should.

It all begins with YOU.

My life isn’t perfect, but it’s perfect for me.

And I would bet that yours is too.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~