We’ve all gone through tough times in our lives.
Some people let those difficult situations make them a better person; they learn the lessons, heal themselves, and get back up on their feet even stronger.
Then there are those people that let those difficult situations make them a bitter person; they can’t see that there was a lesson to learn through the experience, they don’t or won’t heal from it, and they’d rather stay down than pick themselves up.
The better person learns to forgive and let it go; they continue moving forward, no matter what life hands them. They use their experiences to help others and love the world.
The bitter person holds onto the anger and refuses to forgive; they stay stuck in the negative emotions of the experience and can’t see all the endless possibilities that are outside of that time. They’re unable to love the world because their bitterness prevents them from loving themselves.
Which person are you?
Be that person that learns from the tough times and embraces the lessons learned from it; be that person who continues to love the world even if the world isn’t loving you back the way you want; be that person who keeps moving forward and uses the difficult times and the triumph of overcoming them to share with others.
Be that person.
I know that you can.
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Today I remembering my friend, and someone who became family to me, Tom Contreras. It’s his birthday and even though he’s passed on there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him, laugh at the memories, and feel his love. Happy Birthday, Tommy…hope you’re feeling the love from down here! Love you always and forever!
I lost someone very special to me a year ago today. He was an amazing man and while I wasn’t in his life for very long, he made an impact on mine to last a lifetime. Tom Contreras was “the godfather” to me and always wanted me to write about him. This is my story about him…
It’s not very often in this lifetime that you meet someone who makes an impact on your life, yet I met such a man who left this world too soon on a Saturday night late in December after a night spent with family and friends. He’s my love’s cousin, Tommy Contreras, and he became one of my closest friends ever since I was introduced to him. I touched base with him by phone daily, and my love and I would “conference” call him together a few nights a week, and believe me, those…
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I wrote this quote many years ago near the end of my 20 year marriage. As I began to heal physically and emotionally from all the turmoil of that, I realized that it was at my moments of anxiety, sadness or depression that he became strong. At first I thought he was showing true signs of kindness, yet in time I realized what was really happening: I was feeding his ego and he was starving my self-esteem. He felt like “the big man” helping the poor, defenseless, broken woman. The woman HE broke. The woman he was abusive to; the woman he told over and over again was stupid and ugly; the woman he told would never be loved by anyone.
And I believed him…until I stopped believing him.
Are you wondering how I stopped believing all that negative stuff he had embedded into my brain? I woke up. I realized that I had allowed him the freedom to treat me that way. I allowed him to speak down to me and allowed him to be disrespectful to me. So, one day I woke up and stopped allowing it, and when I did that the marriage was done and over with.
I went through years of healing myself mentally and emotionally, and of course it was with the help of many spiritual teachers and a wonderful tribe of true friends that I was able to. I’m grateful for each and every one of them.
I learned so much about myself and that loving myself first was the answer to preventing anyone anyone from treating me that way. You’d think it would never happen again, yet I’m human; we’re all human. Sometimes life brings you back to an experience that you thought you had learned the lessons from, yet life knows when you forget the lesson. And the Universe will put a similar experience back into your way until you wake up and realize that what you stopped allowing years ago, you’re allowing once again.
Even after that divorce I would find myself meeting someone whose ego was strengthened by my weakness, and for those that know me, they know I’m anything but weak. It would sporadically happen here and there throughout the years, yet now I’m much more able to recognize it when it’s happening. I’ve learned that those people lack control of their own life so they try and control mine; they lack self-respect and are unable to respect anyone else; they don’t feel strong unless they’re paired up with someone weak.
And I am no longer that girl.
I want to be treated the way I deserve and the way that I treat others: with love, kindness, compassion, consideration and loyalty, and I won’t settle for anything less. I want to be loved for the person I am, quirks and all, because I love the person that I’ve become.
We all have moments of feeling weak and that’s okay; it’s those moments that help us to find our strength again and stand back up on our feet even stronger.
We all have moments of finding ourselves back in a situation that we thought would never return and that’s okay; you’re given that situation to remind you of the lesson you forgot.
And we all find ourselves staring into the mirror, looking at ourselves and wondering how we got here and what happened to us, and that’s okay; keep looking in that mirror long enough and you’ll once again see the person you thought was lost.
It’s those moments of feeling lost that we’re actually finding ourselves again, and we’re finding an even better and stronger version of the person we once were.
Life is about balance and we all fall out of balance every so often. It’s when the world around us is spinning out of control that we see the truth of everything, and it’s in those moments that we find our balance again.
Don’t let anyone make you feel weak; surround yourself with people that make you feel strong.
Don’t spend your precious time feeding someone’s ego; spend your time feeding your self-esteem.
And don’t rely on anyone loving you the way you want to be loved; love yourself that way first and the rest will fall into place.
Everything in your life begins with YOU.
Stop allowing what you don’t want to continue.
Forgive yourself when you forgot a lesson you learned and continue moving forward.
And love yourself.
If you do nothing else, love yourself.
Anything and everything is possible if you begin with love.
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I’m a big believer in always “looking up,” and not “looking down.” One seems to be positive and the other is negative.
Think about it…what do you see when you look up? The sky, the sun, the mountains, the stars, the moon, the clouds…the list goes on. And when you “look up” it’s as if you’re seeing the endless possibilities that life has to offer you. You’re seeing the vastness of the Universe with no limitations.
Now, about that “looking down.” When we look down it’s at the ground or more often than not these days, most people “looking down” are looking at their phones, at their computers, at their social media…and that list goes on as well. Yet looking down is restricting you from seeing the beauty around you; it prevents you from seeing the people that love you; it steals precious time with the world around you that you’ll never get back.
How many times have you found yourself “looking down” only to find that when you looked up you missed something amazing? You missed the sunrise or the sunset, you missed the one you love smiling at you, you missed an opportunity to communicate with another human, or you simply missed something that you’ll never have a chance to see again.
I know there are times we have to “look down” but don’t let that become your priority. Make that “looking down” thing but a brief moment in your day…make that “looking up” thing a priority of your day.
Trust me, more negative experiences and situations happen when you’re looking down all the time…
And trust me when I say that more positive experiences come from looking up…
And looking around…
And looking forward.
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
The older we get the more experiences we have under our belt, yet there are times we forget how far we’ve come on this life journey.
We all go through rough days and tough times, no matter our age. It’s in those moments that we wonder how in the world we’re going to make it through, how we’re going to get past this difficult experience, how we’re going to find strength in a soul that is exhausted.
Yet we do.
And do you know how to do that?
You need to remember what you’ve already gone through and that you made it through…and sometimes by the skin of your teeth, but you made it through. And you made it through stronger, different, and better.
Never forget how far you’ve come…never forget the lessons you learned, and some you learned through the worst of times.
And never forget that you never thought you’d make it through, but you did.
You got through a day, slept through a night, and woke up to a new day in the morning.
A new day with no mistakes in it.
A new day to do it all differently than the day before.
A new day to change your life.
And that day is a very good day.
Life will always throw a challenge or two your way, yet it’s so important to remember that we’ve been through difficult times before and we made it through.
“Never forget how far you’ve come.”
Remember that…
Always remember that…
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Everything begins with you…and I can’t say that often enough to you. There are moments even I have to remind myself of that.
And those moments seem to come when we place more value on others than we do on ourselves, and when that happens, well, everything hits the fan!
We find ourselves seeing the true colors of friends; we see that they weren’t who we thought they were; and when that happens we find ourselves feeling betrayed, hurt and angry. We wonder why they couldn’t be as loyal to us as we were to them; we wonder why they turned their back on us; we wonder why they crossed our boundaries of friendship.
We wonder what happened, why things went the way they did, and what did it all mean…in other words, we want to know WHY it happened.
No one can control another; no one can make another loyal and trusting to you; no one can make someone love them.
We can only control ourselves.
And that’s a great power to have: the power to make decisions that are best for YOU!
You see, you lost sight of how valuable you are; you valued someone else so much that you forgot to value yourself; you placed way too much importance on someone who hurt you.
If you can’t see how valuable you are, how do you expect anyone else to?
It all begins with you.
Walk away from those who bring you down; wish them love and light, be grateful for the lessons it taught you, and move forward.
Let go of the negative people you’ve allowed in your bubble and make room for the positive people to come in.
Know your value…know your worth.
It’s a good thing!
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
“Waking Up” was the title of my last book and of the song I wrote to go with it. It was born out of my journey with breast cancer when a nurse asked me on my last day of treatment how the experience affected me. My answer was quick: “It woke me up.”
And it sure did.
But you don’t need to go through an illness to “wake up” to your life and how you’re living it.
I believe we all have those moments of “waking up” in which we see a situation differently…we see it with open eyes and more clarity. We see the truth. We see what’s working in our life and what isn’t. We see who belongs in our bubble and who doesn’t.
And then we have the choice to change it.
I’ve been going through a few “waking up” moments myself and while there are moments of sadness in what needs to be changed, there’s many more moments of happiness because of the change.
“Waking up” moments bring us life lessons to be learned so that we can live our life to the fullest and for our Highest Good.
Change isn’t always easy but I can promise you that it will always be worth it.
Because “YOU” are worth it!
Know the value of who you are…
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I feel restless. It used to be that I only felt that way once or twice a year, yet lately this feeling is happening more and more frequently. I’m feeling restless, feeling bored, feeling like I need a new adventure; I need something new, something exciting, something different. I need to feed my soul because it’s my soul that’s feeling restless. I guess you could say I have “restless soul syndrome!”
Don’t get me wrong, I love my life, yet there are moments even I wonder if this is as good as it gets or this is all there is…and I’m at that point now, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that way now and again. Maybe some of you feel that way as well.
Life seems to morph into a ritual of the same people, the same parties, the same old same old…and while I love those people and those parties I need new experiences as well. I’m not one who can stay in a box and that same comfort zone for too long. I need to experience new things, new people, and new adventures.
And that’s where I am today…feeling restless. I’m wondering what direction I need to move in my life next, what I should be doing differently, what I’m missing out on. I love my writing and I couldn’t imagine a day without writing something, yet in the midst of that I find myself in the middle of laundry, housework and mundane routines…
And I’ve lived that life before…
I’ve been a full time housewife and mother, and as the kids have grown older, there’s not much need for it now. I have two of my five children living home now and both boys tell me that they want me to do more as a writer, that they love the fact that I AM a writer, and they support me through it all. They want to see me out there in the world catching my dreams, always believing that something wonderful is about to happen, and living my life pursuing my passion of writing. They know I’m always there as their mom but they want so much more for me. They’re two very impressive boys and I’m grateful for them every day. They sometimes see in me the potential and ability that I sometimes lose sight of in myself.
They believe in me.
They love me.
And they want me to do the same for myself.
They both lived through my breast cancer with me…they were there for the diagnosis, the treatment and the recovery, and ever since then they want me to do what makes me happy. They want me to write, to publish more books, and to try and make a difference in the world. They want me to live my life in a way that I never had before. They want me to live my life making the world a better place.
And believe me, they’ve done that for me.
So here I am, knowing all that I know, feeling restless…wanting more, desiring more, and ready for another adventure. I want to push the envelope and shoot for the moon. I want to dream bigger and better; I want to write more and share more with the world; I want to step out of this box I find myself in and push the limits to one of endless possibilities.
And I’m the only one that can do that. I own the fact that I’m feeling restless and I know that it’s up to me to change it.
I want to fuel that fire that ignites my soul.
Feeling restless doesn’t mean I’ll change who I am; feeling restless means that the Universe is trying to tell me something. It’s taking who I am and trying to make me a better person. It’s trying to teach me a lesson and tell me that there’s more that awaits me in this world. It’s telling me to get out from under the laundry and move up to what it has to offer me next. It’s telling me that there’s another experience waiting for me if I’ll just open my eyes and see it.
So, while I’m feeling restless today I know that tomorrow is another day with endless possibilities and new experiences just waiting for me to grab onto them, move forward with them, and let them guide me to the next chapter in my life.
I know these moments of feeling “restless” are for a reason and I can’t wait to see what they are!
I’m ready to take a leap of faith and open up the door to something new…
Are you?
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Anne Dennish - Writer/Author 