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“Overwhelmed and bittersweet” are two words that have been in my vocabulary these last few weeks and there’s a good reason as to why.
My parents are moving out of our childhood home and I’ve been spending much of my weekends and days after work packing them up and selling their furniture. It’s bittersweet finding so many memories of my childhood and selling off furniture that we all spent time around as a family. The packing can be overwhelming and it’s bittersweet in knowing that this house was our connection to the Jersey Shore.
I will be leaving my job at the end of this month and have decided to spend a few months in Delaware to promote my new book and write the sequel. In addition to that I will continue working with the publisher on the final edits for my new novel, “The Mind of a Heart ” which should be ready for release in the next few weeks. I’m also working on creating a weekly podcast and motivational/inspirational virtual group.
I’m okay with all these changes but they do mean that I will be moving away from my beloved Jersey Shore in May. I’ve lived here all of my life and can’t imagine being so far away from the beach and the local towns that I love but it’s time for change. These changes are overwhelming at times and most definitely bittersweet.
I have to remind myself to enjoy what time I have left at the Jersey Shore and focus on the excitement of the next chapter in my life.
And I am very excited about where this next adventure will take me.
I’m saying goodbye to feeling overwhelmed and hello to feeling grateful for the “bittersweet” because that means that it all meant the world to me.
Today is the first day of my next trip around the sun and my mantra for this year is “61 And Get It Done.” Time is marching on and while I have no plans of leaving this Earth anytime soon, time is becoming even more precious. I have so many books that I’ve not yet published, so many places that I want to visit, and so many things that I want to do. It’s time to “get them done,” and I’m making a promise to myself that I will.
So as I celebrate another trip around the sun today I count all the many blessings in my life, am grateful for all that I have done so far in these 61 years and have faith that everything else I want will get done.
And I’m grateful for every beautiful morning that I wake up and have a chance to do life better than the day before.
Today I say good-bye to 60. I do so with love and gratitude, taking all the lessons that I have learned right along with me into 61.
“Here’s to another trip around the sun, here’s to an awesome 61!”
It’s funny how some of the things we keep mean so much to us because of so many sweet memories. I feel as though I’ve gotten rid of so many things over the years that have meant so much to me because I simply had no room for them where I lived or the kids didn’t want them. It breaks my heart and today I lost another “something” that meant so much to me for so many reasons.
Growing up I had always wanted a piano. My parents didn’t have the means to get me one but that didn’t stop me from wanting one. My great aunt had one and used to let me go into her house to play it. It was her piano that I taught myself to play on and I loved every moment that I could steal away from my cousins and siblings to play it. It was from then on that I always wanted a piano.
When my daughter was about 5 years old I bought her one. She took lessons for years and when she wasn’t playing it I would play it every chance I could. I remember all the siblings after her sitting there as toddlers hitting the keys, thinking that they were “playing the piano.”
So many memories, so many pictures of that sweet piano.
It’s been at my parents house for the last few years because the place where I was living simply didn’t have enough room. Now that my parents are moving I was faced with a choice of selling it, putting it into storage or giving it away.
I thought about it all night and decided that it was time to let her go. And I did. She was sold this afternoon and will be going to her new home this weekend.
My heart is broken.
Yet I keep reminding myself that it’s just a “thing,” and the memories and pictures of it will remain for a lifetime. Yes, I’ll miss sitting down and playing it at my parents house but life is always changing. And here I am faced with another change and losing something else that meant so much to me.
I know that there’s so many more important things going on in the world today that this may seem trivial and unimportant. Maybe it is but while I try to help the world be a better place, I had my own moment of losing something that I loved.
Maybe it is unimportant in the grand scheme of things but it was important to me.
And I’m grateful that I had it in the first place.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout my life experiences is that more often than not, my children were right. They were right when I thought I was right. They were right when I thought they were wrong. They, as my children, could see things that I couldn’t, at least until time showed me just what it was that they could see.
“Through the eyes of a child…”
My children are all grown now yet I can look back and remember times that they had a strong opinion about a situation that I was in or about something I was doing. At the time I thought that they were just children, they couldn’t possibly know what I was going through.
But the truth is, as children they didn’t have to know.
As children they could see through their eyes of innocence.
As children they could feel that something was wrong for their mother.
As children they had a sixth sense, one that as I’ve grown older I wish I’d paid more attention to or listened to.
We often dismiss the opinions of our children simply because they are our children. I’ve learned through time and experience that that isn’t always true.
Sometimes our children see what we, as adults, can’t.
There are days that I wish I had listened to their opinion and feelings, yet if I do that I’d end up living a life of regret but instead just take my accountability that I was wrong.
There were so many times that I should have listened to them.
And for what it’s worth, I’m listening now.
And for those times I hope that they can forgive me.
I try not to regret those times but instead consider them a learning experience, a life lesson, if you will.
There are no perfect mothers or fathers but there are mothers and fathers that try their best.
And that’s what I’ve tried to do.
Sometimes my best wasn’t good enough yet it’s all in the past. As long as I’ve learned from it, that’s the best I can do.
I wish, as adults, we could see life “through the eyes of a child.”
But there’s always hope that we can still learn how.
I can’t thank all of you enough for keeping me informed about how you’re doing in the midst of all this ugliness. Please know that I am keeping you tight in my prayers and thinking of all of you each and every day. I pray that this will end and that you will once again have peace in your lives and in your beautiful country.
You are in an incredibly strong group of people. Please don’t lose hope because you have my support and prayers as well as from so many people around the world.
We’re all thinking of you.
Love, light and prayers of hope, strength and peace are being sent to all of you.
It breaks my heart at what all of you have to endure, what you’re living through right now and for those of you who have lost loved ones and friends. You’re all on my mind and tucked tightly in my heart.
Yet in the midst of the ugliness it warms my heart and gives me hope to see the entire world standing behind you, sending prayers, love and support. You are an amazing group of people who are doing what you can to stand strong through the ugliness happening all around you and even with all that you’re going through, you’re filled with gratitude for all of us showing you our support. I’m truly humbled by that.
I’m one person yet I’ll do whatever it takes as “one” person to show my support, to send my love, and to keep you in my prayers.
I can use my words through my writing to share your stories with others.
I can use my voice so that others may hear what they can do to help you.
And I can use my time to pray for your safety and for peace for you and the world.
We need to stand together so that we can stand behind all of you in Ukraine.
We need to speak out together so that the world knows that there’s strength in numbers.
We need to pray together because there’s strength when one or more pray together.
I truly believe that together we can heal this world.
You’re in my heart, Ukraine, and I’m keeping each and every one of you tight in my prayers.