In the midst of barbeques and time spent with friends this past weekend, my love and I were able to find some down time to watch movies from the comfort of our serenity cave. One movie in particular stuck with me: “28 Days” with Sandra Bullock, who plays a writer that had to go to rehab. The theme of the story wasn’t what intrigued me; it was the messages throughout the movie. One in particular stood out to me. Her character, Gwen, had broken the rules, to which her therapist made her wear a sign around her neck that said: “Confront me if I don’t ask for help.” As usual, it got me to thinking and wondering:
How often do WE ask others for help?
Most of us, including myself, will answer: not very often. The answer should be: not enough! I realized as I watched this movie that rehab isn’t just for addictions; it’s for changing a life that wasn’t working and learning how to speak your own truth, and be comfortable with it. And isn’t that how life should be for all of us?
I’m willing to help anyone and everyone, as are most of the people in my circle. I feel good helping someone else, no matter what help is needed. Yet when we need help with something, we don’t ask. We don’t want to burden another, or worse yet, we don’t want to believe we need the help. In society today we seem to be so programmed to believe that “we can do it all with no help from anyone!” It’s as if we’re trained to believe that this is what makes us strong and self-sufficient. That’s all well and good, yet when we don’t ask for help we become tired, run-down, emotionally spent, and worse yet, we get sick.
The flip side of this is that while we feel like a wonderful human being by helping someone else who asks for help, we don’t ask them and don’t allow them the rights to the same good feelings we get by helping out. It’s kind of ironic, isn’t it? Then again, maybe it’s selfish on our part. Why do we want to feel good yet not allow someone else the same right? A little “food for thought” here!
I’m guilty of this and it’s something I’m working on changing. I’ve spent a lifetime doing everything myself, rarely asking for help when I knew deep down inside I needed it. I didn’t like appearing weak, or needy. When someone asked me for a favor, I jumped at the chance, whether I had the time or not.It didn’t matter that I was exhausted, or had to change my schedule to help them, I just did it. I’m not saying that’s wrong, but I am saying that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes. We need to take care of ourselves first in order to truly help someone else.
Every day I work on saying “no” if it’s not for my Highest Good, and am trying hard to ask for help when I need it. I’m willing to allow someone else the chance to feel needed, to help a friend out and know that they made a difference in my day and in my life. My mantra for my book, “Waking Up” is: “It’s time to make a difference, and we can make a difference together.” Well, that is yet another “waking up” moment in my life: to admit that I’m not weak if I need help, that in fact, asking for help shows a sign of strength; that my “making a difference” in life and the world also includes allowing other’s to be part of that journey with me; and more importantly, that I’m a work in progress, learning more about myself every day on this journey of life, and that’s okay.
The Universe throws so many “signs” at us, and we’ll see them if we just pay attention. Watching an old movie brought to light many signs I had been missing, and asking for help was just one of them. Owning “our truth” isn’t always easy, especially if it involves a quality in ourselves that we don’t care for, yet when you own your “truth,” you own your right to change it. It’s your lesson to learn, and your choice on how to handle it.
Today I work on asking for help if I need it, whether it’s simply a much needed phone call with a friend, or a strong arm to hold me at the end of the day. Today I incorporate the “Serenity Prayer” in my lifeand know that I been gifted ” the courage to change the things I can,” and asking for help, finding my balance in this crazy world, and loving myself are all things I can change for my Highest Good.
“Confront me if I don’t ask for help.”
Remember that as you go throughout your day and each day to come; let someone else feel the peace and joy you feel by helping them, because in the end:
“It’s time to make a difference, and we can make a difference together.”
And today I’m remembering that!
Wishing you love and light,