“What Happened To You?”

I woke up this morning, looked into the mirror and said, “What happened to you?” If you’ve been following me you’ll know that I’ve been in a strange place in the last few weeks and I’m not talking about location. I’m talking about my mindset and feeling lost, needing a routine and needing a kick in the pants to get back to where I was with my writing.

So it was no surprise that the girl I saw in the mirror was a bit disappointed in me. It’s as if she was saying “Why’d you let this happen to you? Get back to doing things that make you feel good about yourself and make you feel happy.” And she was right. 

I got to thinking about the last few weeks. I’m a girl that loves to wear make-up yet I haven’t had any on in weeks. I didn’t see the reason to put it on if I wasn’t going out. I usually get a pedicure every few weeks but didn’t see the importance of it right now. I haven’t listened to much music lately because I didn’t feel the need to dance.

Now there’s something to think about. Why was that? Why wasn’t I still doing all the things that made me feel good about myself? Was it just because I moved? Was it because I wasn’t working? Was it because I wasn’t going out as much?

Yes and no.

And as I thought about it I changed my mindset. I shouldn’t have to have a reason to do what makes me happy and feel good about myself. I should be the reason.

Suddenly, it all made sense. Circumstances and location shouldn’t matter. Nothing should matter except that it makes me feel good and if I feel good then I can do more good for others. If I’m happy I can share that with the world.

Take my advice and my lesson learned and “do what makes YOU feel good,” no matter what. I’ve realized how important of a piece these things are for me in getting back into a routine. 

“You don’t need a reason to do the things that make you feel happy and good about yourself. YOU are the reason! And YOU are a very good reason.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Routine”

I’ve been in Delaware for about a month now and have had way too much time to “think” about why I haven’t been writing as much as I used to, why I haven’t finished the final edits on my new book or why I feel so lost.

After much soul searching I got my answer: I lost my routine.

And in losing my “routine” I’ve lost my balance and a little bit of myself.

Back in Jersey I was working full-time and writing in my free time. I don’t miss working the daily grind BUT I do miss the routine. I’d get up everyday at 5:30, grab my coffee and do my hair and makeup as I peered out the window to see the sunrise. I was off to work by 8 and home after 4. It was a “routine.”

The other piece I’m missing is the daily interaction with my boss, co-workers, customers and vendors. I was always meeting someone new and interesting, yet I can remember coming home some days and not wanting to talk to anyone because I was “talked out” from work. Now I long for those days of communication.

It’s quiet here and unless we go out, there’s not much communication with the outside world. There are days that I wish my phone would ring with a friendly voice on the other end just ready for a nice, long conversation.

But it doesn’t and I feel as though I’m left with too much idle time and that’s not me.

This move wasn’t easy but I know that finding a routine here is in my best interest. I’m lost without one. I’m lost without accountability for a job. I’m lost being away from the friends and places that I loved.

Maybe I took too much of that for granted and can now see how important all of that was for me. I can definitely see it now and while there’s no sense in missing it all, there is a sense in being grateful that I had it in the first place.

Today is a new day and I have to push myself to find a new “routine.” I need to make myself accountable for a full time job as a writer. I need to stop feeling lost and find what works for me. And instead of missing my friends and places, I need to incorporate them into a new routine of seeing them when I can.

“Mindset and perspective” are what I’ve been lacking and thankfully this time of feeling lost helped to change mine and hopefully has me moving forward in the right direction.

I believe that “it’s the times we feel most lost in our lives that we’re actually finding ourselves.”

And I believe the last month of feeling lost has helped me to find myself again.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“You Have To Start Somewhere”

“You have to start somewhere.”

That’s the constant thought in my head every morning that I wake up. I guess you could say that this is my first attempt at following my own advice.

We’ve been in Delaware for three weeks now and they’ve not been the best. My significant other broke two ribs during the move which left the lifting and unpacking to me. Unfortunately, I ended up pulling out my back and suffering with a pinched nerve for 12 days. As you can see, it hasn’t been a smooth transition.

I’m trying to find all the positives in the midst of the pain and turmoil. We’re in a beautiful RV resort for the summer and it’s quite peaceful yet I’m homesick and missing my Jersey Shore a lot!

I feel a little lost here. It’s been an emotional couple of months as I helped my parents move out of our childhood home, moved myself, left my job and moved to another state. I guess I should give myself a pass for feeling the way that I do. It’s not been easy for me and I was so excited for this change! What I’m not happy about is that I haven’t written much since I’ve been here and that was something that I was looking forward to: “retired and writing!”

So here I sit, finally able to “start somewhere.” I’ve missed you all and I hope that this is the beginning of me getting back to ME! 

Writing is like breathing to me and I’m so glad that I could share this “first breath” with all of you!

You mean the world to me.

Here’s to “starting somewhere.” I’m feeling grateful that I finally could!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~