“Clear Out Your Mind”

Yesterday I talked about selecting your thoughts carefully; today let’s talk about clearing out your mind of things you’re constantly thinking or obsessing about. Take a breathe, be mindful of what that thought is, and let it go. Clear it out. Be done with it.

When you clear your mind of things that shouldn’t be taking up space there, you open it up for all the love in the world to rush in.

And “you will be filled with more love than you had ever dreamed.”

Think about it.

Clear your mind.

Let love rush in.

It’s a good thing. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

clear out the space - richard from texas

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“Select Your Thoughts Carefully”

I’ll be honest, “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert is one of my favorite movies and I can watch it over and over again and still find something else to learn from her journey. I’d like to share some of the things I’ve learned from it with you and will be sharing my favorite quotes with you.

This one rings true all the time, that we need to learn how to select our thoughts as carefully as we select our clothes, or anything else for that matter. We have the power to control what we’re thinking. We have the power to think positive thoughts or negative ones. We have the power and the control…and it truly is a process we can cultivate.

It’s difficult at times to do, even for me, yet I have to find that quiet space in my mind to stop and remind myself that my thoughts will dictate my day and my life. And it can affect those around me. I remind myself to breathe in, breathe out, and cultivate my thoughts into something positive.

Give it a try…it works!

It’s a good thing. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

select

“Making A Living Or Making A Life”

Let’s face it, we need money to survive: to pay the bills, the rent or the mortgage, put food on the table and to keep clothes on our backs. We need money to do this and most of us will do what it takes to do that for our families. We work full-time or part-time, and take the overtime that’s offered to us. We work and we work to do all those things…those “responsible” things.

On the other hand, how much do we need? Do we need all those things that we work so hard to get? Or is there a balance between what we have to do to make a living to afford those things or do we do what we have to do to make a life to appreciate and spend time with the people we’re busy making a living for?

There’s a quote that reads like this: “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to have a life.”

And that’s an important thought to think about.

I know it’s important to be able to make a living, but more often than not, I see people so busy and exhausted making that living that there’s nothing left of them to enjoy the life it affords…or the people that they love who support them to make that living.

Do we work until exhaustion because of our ego and self-esteem? Do you feel like “more of a man” when you work more than 40 hours a week? Does it make you feel like more of an “empowered woman” when you work all week and on weekends? Is all that work outside of what is really necessary about our self-esteem?

We seem to live in a society that is built upon making money and “having it all,” yet I’ve seen a shift in society as well. Everyone is working more than normal but looking for answers as to what their life is missing; they feel a void, fatigue, and moments of “is this is as good as it gets.?”

But think about it: you put that pressure on yourself. No one is asking you to spend 50 or 60 hours a week working your ass off to pay for the unnecessary things in life; you put that pressure on yourself. No one is asking you to work until the point of exhaustion that you can’t enjoy your life filled with family or friends; you made that choice. No one is asking you to get so busy making a living that you don’t have the time or energy to have a life; you made that decision.

Life doesn’t go on forever; neither does a job or career. In fact, the job and career most often times will end long before the life.

And life is short, life is precarious, and life is unsure.

We’re not promised another day; we’re not promised a job.

We’re not promised time; we’re not promised job security.

We’re not promised that our loved ones will always be there; we’re not promised that the job will either.

The people who love us want to spend time with us; the job wants us to spend time working.

The people who care about us want us to be well and happy and enjoy life; the job wants us to be well and happy so that we can do their work.

The people we are making a life with want that life to be filled with memories; the job wants that life to be filled with hours that don’t make a memory, but fill a quota.

The people you love are the life; the job is just a living.

The people who love you don’t lay you off or replace you for someone better; the job does.

The people who love you want to spend time with you; the job wants you to spend time working overtime.

The people who love you don’t need anything from you, they simply want “you”; the job doesn’t want you, they need what they can get from you.

And the people who love you, RESPECT you, and care about your well-being will understand when you say “no” to them because you’re exhausted or need to simply “be;” the job doesn’t take “no” for an answer because they don’t respect you or care about your well-being, they care about you doing what they want.

Life is so short, so unpredictable, and so precarious; days aren’t promised and neither is the job. So while you need to make a living to pay the bills, don’t forget to make a “life.” And make that life with the people that appreciate you, love you, and are part of that “life” you are living.

In the end, the job won’t be there to take care of you if you’re hurt; the job won’t understand when you’re too exhausted to work overtime; the job won’t care if something happens to you because they’ll find someone else to replace you.

The ones who love you will always care because they know that you can’t be replaced.

And “making a life” is all about surrounding yourself with the people who love you; it’s about enjoying every day and every moment; it’s about making memories and of hearts taking pictures.

Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to have a life.

Learn to say “no” when you need to…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“Love Yourself Enough”

“Love yourself enough to what’s best for you.”

Try it and watch what happens…

It’s a good thing. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Stay Positive”

Take a minute to breathe in all the positive energy, exhale all the negative, and move forward into having an awesome day!

It’s a good thing! 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

positive mind

“Control and Submission”

*On a personal note: I’m not an expert on this subject, but I’ve been in this situation before and know the signs of it happening, which is why I’m writing about it now. Every so often I see someone I care about being controlled by the wrong person and I watch as they become submissive to them. I can only share my personal experience with them to try and help them see the unhealthy situation they’ve allowed themselves to be in, yet as always, it’s a life lesson for them. I can’t fix them, save them, or change their situation…only they can do that. It’s a lesson they need to learn, just as I had many years ago, and all I can do is offer my support and share my experience with them. ~Anne Dennish~

“Submission” is a state in which people can no longer do what they want to do because they have been brought under the control of someone else.

Has this happened to you? Have you lost control of your life because someone else is controlling you?

And why did you allow it to happen?

Maybe you have an underlying need for the controller to love and accept you; maybe you want their attention and time; maybe you idolize them and want to feel as important to them as they are to you.

But it will never happen. They will never give you what you want as long as you’re giving them what they want.

Most times we never see it coming. We wake up one morning and realize that our life is not our own; we find ourselves doing things we don’t’ want to do; we see that our relationships are suffering; we’ve allowed someone to control us without realizing they were doing that; we say “no” to them but we’re beaten into “submission” until we say “yes.”

And that cycle continues until the controller get’s what they want.

And they will always get what they want until you stop allowing them to; until you say “no” and mean it; until you set up boundaries with them which you don’t allow to be crossed.

And until you open your eyes and realize that someone you trusted has been controlling submission 3you.

Why does someone to this?

It’s simple: people who can’t control their own lives will control someone else’s. It’s not because they love you or care for you; it’s not because you think they’re you’re friend; it’s because it builds up their own insecurities and low self-esteem to know that they have the power and control over someone else.

And before long, the people who truly do love and care for you will see what you can’t: that you’re being submissive to a certain someone; that you’re submission affects your relationships with the right people; that you allow someone to control you when the right people wouldn’t do that to you.

There will come a point where the right people will bring it to your attention. They love you and want you to see what they see: that you’ve put all your time and attention into the wrong person rather than the right ones, which are them. They are the ones who will ask you why you allow it; why the controlling person means more to you than the ones who don’t control you; why you allow the controlling person to affect you and your healthy relationships with your significant other, family and true friends. The “right people” will begin to feel unimportant to you because they see what lengths you’re willing to go to for the controller instead of them.

It happens to all of us at one point or more in our lives; it certainly has happened to me, which is why I’m able to see it happening to the people I surround myself with, and it breaks my heart to see the ones I love being controlled by someone and they can’t. I can clearly see the signs of submission and know the exact type of person who will control someone else. It’s never an easy thing to break free from someone like that, but it can be done; you need to accept what they’re doing and begin to do what needs to be done to take back your power.

The first step is realizing it’s happening to you, and if you don’t, accept someone who loves you telling you what they see. Believe the people who love and respect you, the ones who don’t control you, because they have your best interest at heart.

Secondly, break the cycle and that begins with the next time you tell them “no.” Say “no” once, not several times, with no explanation. Don’t let them badger you into submission until you say “yes” and do what they want. Shut them down and stay strong because until they understand that you’re no longer allowing yourself to be controlled by them, they’ll keep trying until they’ve beaten you back into submission again and again and again.

And lastly, walk away from them; let them go; avoid contact with them if you can and always remember what they had done to you. It’s a lesson to learn but one that you’ll have more insight into if it should ever happen to you again.

I wish I could tell you how and why someone feels they have the right to control another human being, or why we become submissive to another. It’s different for all of us, but once you can honestly see what you allowed to happen to you, you’ll become to understand “why.”

Was the controller someone you looked up to or idolized? Was it someone you were in love with and didn’t want to disappoint? Were they more important to you than the people who truly love you? Maybe you have an underlying need for the controller to love and accept you; maybe you want their attention and time; maybe you want to feel as important to them as they are to you. Or maybe you want them to accept you, yet you need to understand that YOU have lost control on giving them more time, attention and power than they deserve.

But what you want from them will never happen. They will never give you what you want as long as you’re giving them what they want. And sadly, that’s the truth, because while you’re becoming submissive to the controller, you’re losing sight of the people in your life who love and respect you, two things the controller will never give you. The moment you allow someone to control you is the moment their respect for you and your own self-respect, fly out the window. Respect no longer exists with control.

The controller plays on our weakness, and because of their own insecurities, low self-esteem and lack of control in their own life, they find their strength in controlling you.  They don’t really care about you; they care about their control over you. They don’t want you to be in a healthy relationship because they’re not in one of their own. They don’t care if their control affects your relationships or your life; they only care about what they gain from it, because once they see you with the right people and loving your life, they will control you even more to make sure you hurt the people you shouldn’t.

Please be aware of your surroundings and the people you allow into them. Control isn’t love and love isn’t control. And if you’re wondering how you know if you’re being submissive to a controlling person, ask yourself this one important question: “Why can’t I say no to them, and when I do say it, why do I let them beat me into submission until I say “yes” and do what they want?”

Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t respect you enough to allow you to be yourself; stop giving in to someone who doesn’t give you anything back in return; stop defending the controller and making excuses for their behavior because when push comes to shove, they’ll have their own back before they have yours.

Take a look at the place in your life that this “controlling person” has and then take a look at the people in your life that don’t control you. How much of your life do you waste on trying to please them rather than them pleasing you? How much of your precious time is given to them rather than given to the people who love you?

And one more thing: how does your being submissive to this person hurt the people that love you? How often has their control of your time prevented you from spending time with the people you love? And honestly, they don’t care what their control does to you at all, just what their control over you does for them.

Does that make your choice to take back your control from someone else easier now?

Don’t hurt the ones you love and more importantly, don’t hurt yourself because of someone who wants you to and who doesn’t care if you do.

“No” is a full sentence.

Say it.

Mean it.

Be done with it…and them.

And never allow yourself to ever be “beaten into submission” again.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

submission

“Embrace Good & Let Go Of Bad”

embrace all that is good for you

Only you know what’s good for you and what isn’t, so embrace everything that is good for you and let go of everything that isn’t.

Say “yes” to all that serves your Highest Good and just say “no” to all that doesn’t.

It’s a good thing…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“NO” Is A Full Sentence

no 1

“No” is a full sentence.

And that means that there does not need to be an explanation as to WHY you said “no” in the first place.

I’ve always had trouble telling someone “no,” as I’m sure you have as well, whether it’s our children, friends, significant other, or even someone we work with, yet I know there are times I need to say it, and I say it because it doesn’t serve my Highest Good. I could be tired or not feeling well; I could have too much on my plate at that moment or simply need that down time to just “be.”

And at those moments I’ve always felt compelled to give a full explanation as to WHY I said no, yet over the years I’ve learned that I don’t need to do that. The person on the receiving end of my “no” should respect me enough to accept it. End of story.

But not everyone will accept it.

They are the ones that will keep at you until you give them what they want: a “yes.” It’s their way of controlling you because of their own insecurities over controlling themselves. It’s their way of feeding their own ego by knowing they were able to get what they wanted from you; and it’s their way of making you feel “out of control.”

Remember this: “what you allow will continue.”

It’s okay to think of yourself first and do what’s best for YOU, and if that means saying “no” when you need to, then it’s a good thing. And those moments that you say “yes” when you mean “no” can affect those around you, because when you give in to someone you feel frustrated with yourself, and sometimes even defeated that they won.

Don’t let anyone take your power from you or your free will to simply say “no.”

The people who love you will accept a “no,” but more importantly, the people who RESPECT you will.

And for those that don’t?

Let them go.

You control your life; you make your own boundaries with people; and you have the choice to “enable their behavior or disable their control.”

The choice is always yours.

Think about it.

And please remember this: “NO” is a full sentence.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Let Go Or Be Dragged”

Think about your life at this very moment: what is good for you and what isn’t?
 
Now, take what is good for you and embrace it, be grateful for it, and love it.
 
And take what isn’t good for you and let it go…or be dragged.
 
That which doesn’t serve your Highest Good will drag you down so be brave, say good-bye, and let it all go.
 
It’s a good thing…I promise! ❤
 
Wishing you love and light,
 
~Anne Dennish~

“Always Stay Humble and Kind”

I wanted to share this song by Tim McGraw with you. It’s called “Humble and Kind” and truly has an inspiring message for everyone. Please take a moment to listen to it and read through the lyrics below. There’s a strong message of how the world can change and lives can be happier if we simply remember our roots and live by being”humble and kind.” I hope you enjoy it!

“Humble and Kind”

“You know there’s a light that glows by the front door
Don’t forget the keys under the mat
When childhood stars shine, always stay humble and kind
Go to church cause your momma says to
Visit grandpa every chance that you can
It won’t be wasted time
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door, say please, say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

Don’t expect a free ride from no one
Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why
Bitterness keeps you from flying
Always stay humble and kind
Know the difference with sleeping with someone
And sleeping with someone you love
I love you ain’t no pick up line so
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door say please say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

When it’s hot, eat a root beer popsicle
Shut off the ac and roll the windows down
Let that summer sun shine
Always stay humble and kind
Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you’re goin’
Don’t forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind.”

~Tim McGraw~

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~