faith

“February – My Month Of Milestones”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

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If you had asked me a few years ago about what the month of February meant to me, I would have told you it was just another month. I would have told you that it meant nothing to me, that Valentine’s Day was just another Hallmark holiday. And a few years ago, that was my truth.

Yet as life changes, so has “my truth.” February has become a month of milestone anniversaries and celebrations, all of which I’m blessed to have and grateful everyday for each one of them.

I spent over two years writing my book, “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer,” and it was published in the month of February last year.

I fell in love with an amazing man, which was something I never thought would happen to me, and certainly something I wasn’t looking for. Yet love found me, and it found me in the month of February.

I had breast cancer surgery three years ago, and it was then I found out that my cancer was gone and the journey was over. I became a survivor in February.

And of course, it’s the month that holds “Valentine’s Day,” a day which is no longer a Hallmark holiday to me, but a special day to celebrate all the love that surrounds me in my life.

So you can see, it’s a big month of milestones, and I look forward to sharing my stories about each of them with you throughout the month. I have some surprises to share as the month goes on, so keep posted.

I’m devoting my website and  my Anne Dennish Facebook page this month to “love.” I want to fill it with upbeat stories, positive outcomes, inspirational quotes and stories of survival and strength. I want to fill it with all the love I have in my heart for my life, my loves and my family and friends. I want to fill it with my love of writing. I want to fill it with the love and gratitude I have for all the lessons I’ve learned and all the gifts I’ve received from learning them.

I want to fill it with as much as I can, because in the end

“it’s time to make a difference, and we can make a difference together.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Choose Again”

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Life is full of lessons, and while we learn them and carry them into the next chapter in our life, we sometimes find ourselves in familiar territory: about to make the same mistake twice. No worries, though, because it happens. I believe that we’re given the same situations at times to learn the lessons from them again, simply because we didn’t learn them the first time.

There’s no need to worry when this happens. Keep your eyes open when you’re faced with a situation or problem that you dealt with in your past. Keep your mind clear to see that this time around you have a chance to remember the lesson from the first time.

And should you find yourself coming close to making that same mistake, remember this:

CHOOSE AGAIN.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“Looking In The Right Direction”

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Which way are you looking? Are you looking at life through eyes of sadness and regret, or through eyes of hope and faith for today? Are you looking at your past or looking towards your future?

There’s no definitive right or wrong answer, yet throughout my experience in life I would tell you that looking back, looking outwards and looking down will keep you from all the good things that  you can find if you simply look up, look inward and look forward. The past is the past; it’s already come and gone, and hopefully gifted you with valuable lessons toward an amazing present and future.

When we look in the “wrong” direction we run the risk of missing out on some pretty incredible things in life. We don’t give ourselves the chance to move forward into our future and live in our present. You’ve already gained insight and lessons from the past; leave it behind and look towards a bright future.

It’s important to look in the right direction, even though it may be hard to see at times. Life doesn’t always go as planned and we may get discouraged, but I’m here to tell you to keep the faith and believe in yourself; keep looking in the right direction because an amazing life is just waiting there right in front  of you.

Look up, look inward and look forward!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Dark Clouds and Silver Linings”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

 

silver-linings-use-thisAlways remember that the dark clouds in life hold a silver lining within them; you just have to keep your heart and mind open to seeing them. “Silver linings” within the darkest of clouds exist to those who believe and have faith.

No matter what life is handing you at this moment, remember that “it won’t be like this forever, just for today.”

“Just believe, just have faith, everything else will fall into place.”

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Wishing you love, light, and silver linings,

~Anne Dennish~

Photos by Anne Dennish 2017

 

“Love Me Through It”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

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The seas of life have been rough lately and I find myself trying to ride the waves. I’m patiently waiting for the swells to subside to a calm surf, yet it’s hard to see through the spray. It’s at that moment that I know I need to get a little help and advice from someone I can always count on to weather the storm with me: my love.

He’s one of the most no-nonsense, upfront and direct people I know. He doesn’t skirt around the issue; he attacks it head on. He doesn’t tolerate drama; he ignores it. And when he finds out that what he believed to be true isn’t, he moves on and leaves those people behind.

And he’s my “voice of reason” when I find myself in situations that mentally and emotionally drain me and upset me. He’s the guy that reminds me that I can’t fix anyone, solve their problems, or change their perspective. He’s the guy that tells me that he knows how much I want to help some people, but some people don’t really want the help, just the attention. And he reminds not to let “their” problem become “my” problem, because eventually it will become “our” problem. I have to admit it: he’s right!

So in the midst of a conversation this weekend with my love, one in which I asked his advice and “words of wisdom” about, he said something absolutely beautiful to me, and it’s what he said that prompted me to write this piece.

He said that while he can’t take away my hurt, he can “love me through it.”

What a simple, yet profound thing to say. We can’t fix anyone who’s hurting, but we can certainly be there for them to love them through it.

And I have to say, the hurt seems a bit less and the healing a bit easier when you’re blessed to have someone who will “love you through it.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“It’s A New Day”

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Every so often someone will tell me that they had a “bad day,” and sometimes I find myself saying it as well. Yet in the grand scheme of life, is there really a bad day? Sure, not every day goes as we had planned or hoped. We receive bad news, we struggle with problems not of our own, we find ourselves drained, both emotionally and physically. I guess that can justify being a “bad day.”

I know I’ve had much more of my share in the last month, yet I have to keep reminding myself to be grateful for even the bad days, because truth is, we had another day, whether it was good or bad.

We were gifted yet another day of life, and another day to “do it better than the day before.”

Embrace all your days and make the most of them. Be grateful for another day to spend with your loved ones. Wake up in the morning knowing that anything is possible, and count your blessings from the day as you go to sleep at night.

You just need to have faith and believe.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Just For Today”

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There are days I have to keep reminding myself of what I used to tell my children: “it won’t be like this forever…just for today.”

And I know that it’s true. It’s a lesson I learned many, many years ago, and one I have to remember. Life happens, things happen, and sometimes it’s easier to sit in sadness or anger than to look at the flip side to it all. Everything happens for a reason, and while we may not know the reason at that moment, the Universe will bring it to us when we’re ready to see it.

I know it’s tough to do, to find the good in something “not so good,” yet life is a domino effect: one things affects another. And I’m here to tell you that throughout my life I’ve tried to stay positive and keep the faith through some pretty dark times, and one thing I’ve learned is that those “dark times” brought me to the light in my life now.

Stay positive, my friends, no matter what type of situation you’re going through. Find your light through the darkness, because truth is, YOU are the light!

“Just believe, just have faith, everything else will fall into place.”

And remember: “it won’t be like this forever…just for today.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“How Full Is Your Glass?”

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We have the choice to see life as the glass half-full or the glass-half empty; we also have the choice to see it as completely empty. It’s that moment of seeing “empty” that can bring only negative into your life. “Empty” means that you’ve lost your hope, your faith, your joy, and your ability to see the beauty in anything.

Yet it’s your choice.

It’s your choice to dwell on the negative things, the sadness in life, or the trials and tribulations that life hands us from time to time. It’s your choice to let it swallow you alive or to begin to fill that glass up again.

Look at the “glass” as your life; fill it to the brim with blessings and all that you are grateful for; fill it with the memories of loved ones’ lost; fill it with the love of all those that surround you with their love. Fill it with every new day that you are gifted to wake up to; fill it with the gift of family and friends surrounding you; fill it with love.

The world can be a harsh place at times and can drain your glass to near nothing. It’s the people and situations that cross our path that suck your glass dry and it’s your choice to surround yourself with those that fill your glass.

Trials and tribulations will always cross your path, yet if you can change your thinking on them you’ll realize that they also hold a blessing. Without those tests in life, you’d never know what a true blessing is.

“Trials, tribulations and blessings are one in the same. You can’t have one without the other.”

It’s always your choice to see the glass as half-empty or half-full. I choose to see my glass as full, and I hope today you’ll be able to see your glass that way as well.

The choice is yours.

Wishing you love, light, and a glass filled with blessings,

~Anne Dennish~

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“You’re Invited To My Party”

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You’re cordially invited to my pity party, no gifts necessary, just bring your best tales of everything wrong in your life. Wear your sweats and a t-shirt, slippers and bath robe optional. Bring your favorite wine or martini mixers to drown your sorrows in. Only sad movies will be watched and unhealthy snacks will be served. And at the end of it we can all fill up our empty drink glasses with tears.

So, do you want to come?

Not so much, huh?

Me either, yet there’s a day or two along my journey of life that I find myself as the only guest at my pity party. I’ve noticed that no one ever seems to want to go to it with me. Truth be told, I don’t want to be at it either, yet life sometimes sneaks up on us and hands us a “surprise pity party!” And for me, what a surprise it is! It’s the only party I’ve gone to that I can’t wait to be over. And there are no goody bags to take home.surprise

Unless you can change your perspective for a moment…

I’ll be honest, I’m having a surprise pity party today. It started out as a perfectly wonderful day, until my love and I were hit with a few “surprises.” We find ourselves challenging the bank and arguing with a car rental company; people who have no place in our world are trying to bust down the door to get in and consistently lean on the doorbell; emotions are behaving like a roller coaster, and deep sleep is broken by stones being thrown at us in our dreams. We’re running on empty with no signs of a gas station in sight.

Yet, I can still see a “goody bag” in it all. And no, I’m not crazy, I’m just getting better atgoody-bag knowing when it’s time to leave the pity party!

You see, I believe that it’s those occasional “pity party days” that truly help us to appreciate the real party of “life.” It’s those “down” days that make us grateful for the “up” ones. How could you know true happiness unless you had felt a twinge of sadness? How would you know joy without knowing pain?

You wouldn’t, because you’d never learn to see the difference.

And your “goody bag” is your “blessing bag” to take home. It’s the bag at the end of the pity party that you can fill with blessings.

Today as I prepare to say good-bye to this “pity party” and go home, I’ve stuffed my goody bag with the sounds of the laughter of my two boys, the feeling of my loves’ arms wrapped around me when he get’s home from work, the sounds of “Let It Be,” a song I love and was reminded of today, and with the gratitude of having this day at all. And just to be sure, I grabbed an extra handful of happiness for the life I’m blessed to have with my love, my children, and my closest of family and friends.

Well, I’m getting tired and the party is almost over, so I’m taking my goody bag and going home…to the party at home that lives in my heart, not to the pity party in my head.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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This party’s over…you can go home now!

“Love Them Enough To Let Them Go”

/ Anne Dennish / 6 Comments

Two of my children moved across the country, and people always ask me how I manage missing them and not having them home for every holiday. My answer is this: I love themkids1 enough to let them go.

I’ve learned a thing or two raising five kids in the last 28 years and learning to let them go without a struggle, or  too many tears, or guilt is one of the biggest ones.

No one said it was easy, but it does get easier as you learn how to do it and I’ll tell you this, my kids are thankful that I’ve learned how to do it. My one son told me that he couldn’t do “at home” what he could accomplish across the country. He told me that the best thing I did for him was to let him go and do it on his own. And he did, and I’m so proud of him for it.

What I had to learn is that as much as I want to protect them and shelter them from the craziness of the world, I can’t. They’ll never learn what they need to learn; they’ll never make mistakes that will become valuable lessons for them; and most importantly, they’ll never learn how to stand on their own and be strong.

I realized that I had to learn from my own mistakes and I shouldn’t interfere with their free will to do the same. It’s a simple concept, yet hard to do, but if you truly want the best for your child, you have to love them enough to let them go. And trust me, they always come back.

It’s a funny thing: love travels across the miles with them, and their love for me travels back. Love can’t be taken from them, love goes with them.

I didn’t learn this lesson overnight, as my oldest son would tell you, but as the years passed my faith in them increased. I knew I had taught them right from wrong, and one day they’d have to take all I taught them and do it on their own. And I’m proud to say that they’re all doing pretty well!

I see so many parents struggle with letting their kids go, enabling bad behaviors, doing everything for them that these kids grow into adults who don’t know how to do anything for themselves. They don’t know how to cook, clean, do laundry; they don’t know how to battle their own demons because someone does it for them. They don’t know how to grow up because someone won’t let them. They don’t know how to take responsibility for their actions because someone is always making excuses for them.

And that’s the worst thing you could do to your child.

kids2I’ve been a mom for almost 28 years and have loved every minute of it (well, most every minute of it!) It was so much easier when they were younger and thought everything we said was truth; when we could simply kiss a boo-boo and make it go away; that loving them was enough for them.

And then they grow older and challenge what we say; broken hearts replace simple boo-boo’s that we can’t kiss away; and loving them suddenly doesn’t seem like enough. They want our love, yet they also want the freedom to live their life the way they want to, not the way we had hoped.

They want the right to do it on their own, learn their own lessons, and make their own mistakes, and if you can’t love them enough to let them go, they’ll do all those things but come crying back to you to fix it when it goes wrong…and you can’t do that. Why?

Because then you become an enabler, and an enabler does so because they can’t control their own life, and if you really love your child, why would you enable them? Why would you enable their bad behavior? Why would you enable them to stay dependent on you?

I know, it’s a slippery slope, but I know from my own experience as a parent that the best thing I could have ever done for my kids is to “love them enough to let them go;” love them enough to live their life the way they want; love them enough to make their own mistakes and learn from them.

I miss my  three older kids who are scattered throughout the country, but I know they’re happy, living their dreams, and doing well. And isn’t that what any parent wants?

I’d rather take the hurt of missing them than put guilt on them for living far away.

As long as they’re happy, I’m happy.

And they were very happy that I was the kind of mom who could “love them enough to let them go.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Then and Now”