“Losing The Time You’ll Never Get Back”

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I want to give you something to think about: all the countless hours you spend working for a living are all the countless hours you’ve lost with the people you love…and you will never get that time back again.

I’m blessed to have a career that allows me to work at home, and believe me when I say that it’s work but it’s work that I love. Yet I will never get so busy writing, editing, marketing or making phone calls that I forget to make time with the ones I love. My career would mean nothing to me if that were the case. I love the time I spend writing, but I love my time with the important people in my life much more.

I’ve worked 9-5 jobs throughout my life, yet I still held to one important fact: I love my job (most of the time) but I love my life and the people in it much more. It’s a balancing act; it’s a time to say “no” to overtime; a time to decide what and who your priority is: the job or your life and the people in it.  I’ve always chosen the people in my life because I realized that neither the job nor the people in my life will always be there, so I had to choose which was more important…and that was the “people,” never the job.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell you where this story came from and it comes from a place of love.It’s a tough position for me to be in, yet being the person I am, I needed to figure out a way to explain my feelings and more importantly, how this situation was looking to me and to the outside world.

So I realized what the most important part of this was: the person I care about was losing precious time to someone who didn’t care about him and he was giving his time away to someone who didn’t deserve it; and all that time was given in vain and he will never get that time back again, not with me, his friends, or his family.

It was born from an experience from me watching someone I care about work more hours than he was meant to, deserved to, or wanted to. He kept telling his “boss” that he was exhausted and needed a day off, yet his boss didn’t seem to care; he wanted what he wanted and he got it. This person worked every weekend he was off and he’s worked on every day that he was supposed to be off; he’s worked more overtime than was necessary because the other employees in the office didn’t want to do the work. I have to admit, this was upsetting to me; no one wants to watch someone they care about worn down and beaten into submission to do what someone else wanted them to do; no one wants to be spending time with the one they care about on a weekend together with the phone constantly spitting out text noises from a boss who wants more and more and can’t leave them alone; no one wants to watch someone they care about feel less of who they are because of someone who feels more of who they are by using their power and position to feel “in control.”

I’ve lost so many people I’ve loved over the past few years, and while I know they’re at peace now, I so wish I had had more time with them.

And that’s the point I’m making by writing this article: be mindful of the person you spend your precious time on and with and be mindful of the people you take it away from.

As we get older we understand more and more how precarious and unpredictable life really is; we learn to appreciate how short and precious life really is.

Take a look at your life; take a look at your job; take a look at your time…

Take a look at the most important people in your life who love and respect you…

Take a look at the people you allow to feel more important than they are…

Decide who you want to spend your precious time with…

Decide who you want to give that time to…

Decide who you don’t want to give that time to…

The choice is yours as to where and who you spend your time with…

Please think about it, be mindful and choose it wisely because wasted time on the wrong people is time that is lost on the right people for a lifetime.

And no one should live with regret over having spent time with anything or anyone that is less important than the people who are.

Shower the people you love with love…

And don’t worry about the one’s you don’t.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“NO” Is A Full Sentence

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“No” is a full sentence.

And that means that there does not need to be an explanation as to WHY you said “no” in the first place.

I’ve always had trouble telling someone “no,” as I’m sure you have as well, whether it’s our children, friends, significant other, or even someone we work with, yet I know there are times I need to say it, and I say it because it doesn’t serve my Highest Good. I could be tired or not feeling well; I could have too much on my plate at that moment or simply need that down time to just “be.”

And at those moments I’ve always felt compelled to give a full explanation as to WHY I said no, yet over the years I’ve learned that I don’t need to do that. The person on the receiving end of my “no” should respect me enough to accept it. End of story.

But not everyone will accept it.

They are the ones that will keep at you until you give them what they want: a “yes.” It’s their way of controlling you because of their own insecurities over controlling themselves. It’s their way of feeding their own ego by knowing they were able to get what they wanted from you; and it’s their way of making you feel “out of control.”

Remember this: “what you allow will continue.”

It’s okay to think of yourself first and do what’s best for YOU, and if that means saying “no” when you need to, then it’s a good thing. And those moments that you say “yes” when you mean “no” can affect those around you, because when you give in to someone you feel frustrated with yourself, and sometimes even defeated that they won.

Don’t let anyone take your power from you or your free will to simply say “no.”

The people who love you will accept a “no,” but more importantly, the people who RESPECT you will.

And for those that don’t?

Let them go.

You control your life; you make your own boundaries with people; and you have the choice to “enable their behavior or disable their control.”

The choice is always yours.

Think about it.

And please remember this: “NO” is a full sentence.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Knee Deep In Writing”

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I’ve been knee deep in finishing up my next book, “My Collective Soul, Things I Know Without Knowing Why.” It’s been long days and nights of writing for 14 hours followed by a day of recuperating from it all. It’s been nights of “take out” for dinner and spending time with Rob and the kids during one of my hourly five minute breaks.

And I love every minute of it.

I love the writing for hours and hours, the pushing myself late into the night even though I’m exhausted, and I love the pressure of having a deadline.

I love getting up in the wee hours of the morning, putting on my headset and sitting down at the laptop with my coffee to begin the process all over again.

This kind of exhaustion is exciting because I’m doing what I love and what I know I’m meant to do: write!

I know that life has been a bit different in our house. The normal tasks of laundry and cleaning are on the back burner at the moment; the time of relaxing and watching television with Rob are limited; and my kids have become used to saying good-bye in the morning to me while I’m sitting with my headset on and writing and they’re used to coming home and seeing me the same way.marketing ventuers 4

And they’re all okay with this. They love and support me through this time right now and I hope they know how much that means to me. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without their understanding and support.

I couldn’t do any of this without the support of my closest friends and Rob’s family, who have become my family. They keep me going when I’m exhausted and are there to answer the phone if I need to talk to them. Those phone calls help to get me back in balance and are the encouragement I need at the moment I need it.

The new book is just about ready to go to my publisher, Morissa Schwartz, owner of GenZ Publishing. She believed in me and was willing to take me on as one of her authors, marketing ventures 2and for that I’m grateful.

And in the middle of all this writing are meetings and phone calls from my marketing team, Marketing Ventures. Jill, Jennifer and Lora are amazing and are making dreams come true for me. They’ve gifted me with opportunities I never thought possible and they’re still working at gifting me with more! I’m grateful to them for all their hard work at promoting me. It’s growing into more than a business agreement between us; it’s growing into a friendship. It’s a beautiful thing.

And that’s what my life has been like lately. It’s filled with everything I love, and while mentally exhausted, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

My dreams are coming true day by day and I’m glad that I never gave up on them. There were times things weren’t working the way I wanted, yet I knew everything would work out when it was meant to.

Sometimes our best dreams don’t go the way we want; they turn into “better” dreams that we never could have imagined.

You can’t give up.

You have to remember that “everything happens as it should, when it should, and how it should.”

I’m living proof that it does.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Just a “typical” marketing business meeting with Jill and Jennifer!

“A Day In The Life Of A Ship Agent”

When I first met my love he was a self- employed custom tile worker. He did the most amazing sawork yet a few months into our relationship he suffered an injury that would end his days of tile work. I remember how frustrated he was at not working, yet I kept reminding him that everything happens for a reason, and within 3 months time he knew the reason. A job that he had done many years prior suddenly had an opening and my love finally had his reason for the injury: he became a ship agent. It’s a job he loved before and one that he loves even more now.

So what is a ship agent? Well, it’s many things, and my love let me spend an entire Saturday with him on a day he had to “sail a ship.” It was an incredible experience for me to see what he does and to be able to watch the ship, the crew, and all that they needed to do.

First off, let me tell you that being a ship agent is a tough job. My love is at the beck and call of the ship and there are times he’s out in the middle of the night until the wee hours of the morning doing his job. He works overtime, spends every other weekend on call, and will even do ships on his weekends off. He climbs gangplanks and pilot ladders, rides on a tug to get to a ship that isn’t docked, and at times has to walk over and around an obstacle course of machines and equipment just to get to the ship, and all the while with a heavy backpack strapped to him.

I thought I knew a lot about his job until after this past Saturday. The ship had been docked in Staten Island so we had a long drive home and I asked him: I know what you do, but what do you really do as a ship agent? Well, he told me and it was much more than I had known and it filled the time in the car until we got home!

A ship agent is the liason between the owners and operators of the vessels, and everyone else in between, which includes the government, customs, immigration and the Coast Guard. The job of the agent starts long before the ship comes into the port. The agent has to gather the information on the vessel, the crew and their cargo, sending all this information to customs, immigration and the Coast Guard. A PDA, or proforma disbursement account must be sent to the owners before hand; this includes the costs necessary to bring the ship in. After that the agent sets up the pilots, tugs, lineman and long shoreman that are needed to help bring the vessel into port. Many factors have to be considered with each ship; whether they are tide restricted, which berth can accomodate them, and when it’s safe to travel, to name a few.

And the ship agent doesn’t stop there; he is there to help the captain and crew with anything they need while in port; this could be a trip to the store, a doctor or dentist appointment, phone cards or accomodations necessary if the ship is berthed overnight. The ship agent does what it takes to make the captain and crew comfortable while in the port and to help them with the lay of the land, especially when it’s a foreign ship.

Once the ship is ready to sail, the ship agent has to record a “statement of facts” which includes everything they did with the ship while they were in port. It is then sent to the owners and operators. All of these tasks are done at minimal cost and maximum efficiency.

The interesting part is that these ships come from all over the world, and the ship agent has the privilege of meeting the captain and crew, and sometimes is invited in for coffee and something to eat…all indicitive of the country they are from. It can be exciting at times for my love to meet people from all over the world, sharing stories of his life and listening to stories of theirs; many are out at sea for months, leaving their wives and children behind.  No matter the culture or the miles, the stories of “love and family” seem to be universal.

Each ship carries something different, from salt, to orange juice; chemicals to containers.  Ship agents rarely have a mundane day “at the port or the office!”

I’m grateful I had the privilege of spending the day in Staten Island watching my love handle a “salt ship.” It was exciting for me to watch the process and wave to the crew members on board…I know they all saw me watching and taking pictures.

I’m a believe that “everyone has a story” if you just take the time to ask and to listen.

And this is the story of my love and “the day in the life of a ship agent.”

Wishing you love, light and smooth seas,

~Anne Dennish~

ship agent and the girl

“The ship agent and the writer”

 

“Come Out Of Your Closet”

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At one point in our life or another, we’ve lived in a closet. Not the typical stereotype closet, but a closet of “fear and secrets.” It’s the closet we stay in to hide these things from the outside world, hoping that what they don’t know won’t hurt us.

Yet staying in the closet is hurtful, because it hurts you. The closet prevents you from accepting who you are and standing in your own truth. It stops you from taking a leap of faith and moving forward.

There’s many different reasons we stay tucked in our closet of protection: we could be hiding our sexuality, or the truth of being battered and abused. We hide our emotions in the closet, for fear of having our heart broken or taking the next step in a relationship. We hide our depression or anxiety, or our addiction.

We hide our passion or talents in the closet, for fear of failure. We hide our dreams in the closet, for fear of ridicule.We hide our true self in the closet because the opinion of others means more to us than the opinion of ourselves.

The reality is that the closet allows you to hide your truth, a truth which may be judged by others, and the judgement may be cruel.

And the closet keeps you in a comfort zone, which in reality, may not bethat comfortable at all.

I’ve hidden in my closet off and on throughout my lifetime, and the one thing I learned is this: “coming out of my closet” allowed me the freedom to be me. I stepped out of my closet of fear and took a leap of faith in myself and my Higher Power, having faith that standing in my truth would bring all the right people and situations into my life, and allow me the insight to know the wrong ones.

“Coming out of my closet” gave me the freedom to pursue my dream and passion of writing, and it gave  me the ability to find the right kind of love with someone…the love of a lifetime.

Don’t hide in the closet; embrace who you are and step out into the world with all the beauty and light that you have to offer. Let the world celebrate your gifts with you and cry with you over your pain. Let the right people in who will love you and help you heal and let go of the ones who won’t.

Stepping out of the closet is healing for you, and can be healing for someone who needs it. Stand in your truth and take accountability for your fears; and then release them with love. There’s no moving forward with fear; there’s only moving forward with faith.

Take a leap of faith today and “come out of your closet;” you may be surprised at who and what is waiting there to catch you.

“Just believe, just have faith, everything else will fall into place.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Taking The Next Step”

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I can’t stay stagnant, I need to move forward, otherwise I begin to feel restless…and bored. I’m not saying that I’m always on the move, I just mean that when I feel comfortable in one of the many steps I’ve reached along my lifes’ journey, I know that it’s time to “take the next step.”

For instance, my writing. It took me two years to write my last book, “Waking Up,” and it was published last year. I took the time I needed during that “step” to promote and market my book, write song lyricss, produce a CD of songs, perform and speak in public, be interviewed, photographed and the list goes on. Now that I’ve accomplished the comfort of that step, I need to move onto the next: writing another book. And I’m working on two as I write this.

Jobs are the same…I know of people who absolutely love their job, mastering all the skills they needed to feel confident and comfortable, then one day they realize it’s getting boring and they want to move forward and move up in the company…they are ready for the “next step.”

Relationships are no exception. They are an endless amount of steps from beginning to date, to falling in love, to committing yourselves to each other, to living together to… well, that would be another “next step,” and that’s a tough one if you aren’t both on the same step (or page) at the same time.

Now to the heart of the matter: why do some people never take the next step? Why do they sit in the “comfort zone?” My answer would be this: fear. They’re afraid to do something uncomfortable or “out of the box.” They’re afraid of the “next step” not working out or changing their life in a way they may not want. They’re simply afraid to have faith in themselves to take that leap of faith onto “the next step.

Or they simply are content with a less than exciting chance at their life changing by taking the next step. These are the ones that I say “take things for granted.”

I’m not one of those people. I love my love and am very content with it, yet I know that it’s only a matter of time before that contentment turns to discontent and boredom, and I try never to let that happen.

If you’re not moving forward in your life then you’re standing still…on that “same step.”

I’m ready to climb the whole staircase, one step at a time, but I’m not willing to sit on the next step 2 and next levelsame one for the rest of my life. I want to reach for more, do more, and experience more in this lifetime of mine. I want to stay on the staircase of life, but I want to climb the steps when the time is right…and for me, the time is now.

 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~