“Listen To How They Treat You”

the way a person treats you

“There’s a message in the way a person treats you…just listen.”

It’s the saying I absolutely believe in: “actions speak louder than words.”

All those loving, positive words you speak to someone are only truthful when the actions back them up.

All those negative, hurtful words you speak to someone are truth. It’s how someone honestly feels about you because when you truly love someone you wouldn’t say things you know that would hurt them. And trust me, those words will stay with them for a lifetime.

If you really love someone, be it your significant other, friend, family or child, why would you say something hurtful to them? You can’t take those words back and if you said them you must have meant them. And if you didn’t mean them then why did you say them? Just to hurt them because you can? To push them away? Or maybe you use those words to put them in their place as a way to control them.

Think about why you say things to hurt someone you love. No human being has the right to hurt another, especially someone who loves you. It could be that you don’t really love them, that you don’t understand love, or that love is nothing more than a matter of convenience to you. And know this: each time you say hurtful words to someone you love you bruise their heart and that heart begins to shut down little by little.

We’re all human and none of us are perfect. We get annoyed sometimes, we get angry, we get cranky…that’s okay, we all have moments like that, but it’s NOT okay to hurt someone you love. It’s NOT okay to make them feel like your bad mood is their fault because it’s not, it’s yours. And it’s NOT okay to think you have the right to say hurtful words to someone because you want to.

We have choices in all areas of our life, especially in our relationships. You have a choice of which words you use, you have a choice in the tone of your voice when you say them, and you have a choice to talk things through calmly with the one you love instead of being mean and hurtful.

And you have a choice to walk away.

You have a bad day? Work getting to you? Are you unhappy? Did someone make you angry or hurt your feelings?

We all rough days now and then, but understand that it’s not fair or right to take YOUR rough day out on another.

Think about what you’re feeling and why…

Don’t take it out on someone who loves you…

Don’t bruise the heart of someone who truly loves you..

And remember that their feelings are just as important as yours…

Be kind or be quiet.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“How A Heart Breaks”

breaking a heart

We’ve all had our hearts broken a time or two in this lifetime and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: it doesn’t suddenly break. It’s takes time to break it.

And do you know why a heart breaks?

It’s because someone has been chipping away at it over and over again.

And when most of the heart has been chipped away there’s not much left to hold it together and one day it breaks altogether.

And it can and will never be repaired to the heart it once was. Only the broken hearted can heal their heart and in time, their heart will heal and be stronger than the heart that had been broken.

There’s all type of abuse out there but nothing will chip away at a heart more than verbal and emotional abuse. Those are the worst and I know it for fact because I’ve been the person on the other side of it more times than I can count. It’s a difficult and long process to heal, but it is possible, because I’ve done it, and I’ve done it more than once.

I’m going to be honest about this subject because I can speak from personal experience.

Words and actions hurt. They chip away at a heart that loves someone so much that they allow it to happen, at least until the day they’ve had enough. And the day that happens is long after the heart has been chipped away at until it breaks; that day is when that person gets strong and rebuilds their damaged heart.

And that is the day they’ve had enough.

It’s the day they’ve seen the truth of the person who treats them that way.

And it’s the day that they realize their value and we all have value. No one deserves to be treated badly, even the ones who treat others badly.

Love doesn’t hurt the heart; harsh words and behaviors do.

Words last forever.

The pain the words caused will never be forgotten.

And a once whole, happy, loving person will break apart.

Until they pick themselves up and put themselves back together.

There are some who don’t realize just how hurtful their words and actions can be to someone they love, especially when that person still sees good in them and still loves them. But the day will come after countless conversations between the two people of how badly they’ve been hurt and how much damage it causes to their heart…and to their soul.

It’s the day the heart has been chipped away at over and over again that it breaks.

The good news is that a heart that breaks is proof that it works. It’s proof that you have a heart that loves with abandon, loves another with all that they are, and loves unconditionally. The bad news is that that kind of heart will break when the person they love doesn’t have the same kind of heart.

They have a heart that controls, a heart that can only love so much, and a heart that doesn’t know how to love unconditionally.

Hearts that have been chipped at over time will eventually break, but they also will be given the chance to heal into a stronger heart, a smarter heart, and a heart that knows what they deserve and what they don’t. And it will learn to never settle for less than what they deserve.

Choose your words carefully. Keep your bad day to yourself. Leave work at the office. Don’t take your frustrations out on another. And cherish the ones that love you unconditionally with a beautiful heart. Once you chip away at their heart enough you’ll break it, and while everything is forgivable, it’s very rarely repairable.

Remember that.

And ask yourself these very important questions: How would you feel if the person you love treated you the way you treat them? How would you feel if they chipped away at your heart? How would you feel if they were telling you that you were always wrong and that they were always right?

You are in control of your actions towards someone you love.

Choose your words carefully because once you’ve said them you can’t take them back.

It’s never too late to change.

And positive change is a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“Insight Into Cruel People”

There are some cruel people in this world. They are the ones that judge you, point the finger at you, tell you what’s wrong with you and are verbally abusive. It doesn’t matter if it’s someone you know or a stranger: it’s wrong.

Yet all too often it happens without warning and without reason, although there is a reason people are cruel: it’s them projecting their own fears and insecurities onto you. And it’s wrong, it’s hurtful, and it’s abusive.

My son was the target of a stranger in a convenience store yelling obscenities at him and saying some downright disgusting comments to him. As a mother, it infuriated me and I wish I had been there when it happened. On the other hand, had it not been my child I still would have been infuriated because no one has the right to speak to another human being that way.

I’ve been on the other end of verbal abuse more times than I can count, yet there’s one thing I’ve learned and I want to share with you: those people are projecting their fears and insecurities onto me.

They see in someone else what they can’t see in themselves and want desperately to see or be.

They see strength in someone else that they wish they had, but they don’t because they don’t know how to be strong.

They see an open minded person living a happy life, being who they are, and wish they could be that person, but they can’t because they’re afraid to.

They’re afraid to be who they want to be and have the life they want to have because they fear people just like them judging them and verbally abusing and harassing them.

Those cruel people have low self-esteem, fear, and insecurities beyond belief.

They don’t know how to be any other way than cruel, and they don’t want to try and be any different. They make the choice to be judgmental and mean, and the rest of us suffer because of their ignorance.

I know all of this to be true but I will admit my heart always breaks a bit when someone is nasty and cruel to me or my loved ones.

But I also have to remember that it’s not me they’re actually judging…they are judging themselves and taking it out on me.

Be kind, my friends, for you never know the what the journey of another human being is like.

Ignore those cruel people and know they are the ones with the problems, not you.

Fear, insecurity, jealousy and low self-esteem: negative emotions that breed negative people.

Don’t be one of them.

Be you.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

projection2

 

“You Are Beautiful…No Matter What They Say”

I’m always honest with all of you that follow me and I’m going to be honest now. You’ve all become “friends” to me with all your support and comments which I appreciate more than I can say.

I share my personal experiences with all of you in the hopes to make a difference to someone, yet there are moments in my life that it isn’t all sunshine and roses, as I’m sure yours isn’t at times.

So I’m going to get personal and honest with all of you: I’ve had a bad week. A really bad week.

I’ve gone through a few situations this week that hurt my heart so deeply that I’m having a difficult time getting past it…yet I know I will in time.

I have to process what’s happened, try to understand why, and figure out the lesson in it for me. Heartache happens to teach us something…and now it’s trying to teach me something.

I know what to do because I’m always telling all of you how to get through rough times…I’ve been down this road before and I know it’s a difficult journey, yet I know the process I have to go through to get to a better place.

I need to remind myself that anyone who hurts my heart did so because of their own issues. Some people hurt others because they’re feeling hurt themselves, or because they need to have that control, or because they’re simply abusive. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make it right.

And I let them do it.

And sometimes we just don’t know how to stop them from doing it, which is why I believe to my toes that if someone treats you that way you have to wish them love and light and let them go.

And it’s not easy.

So, yes, I’m feeling hurt this week and trying to figure out why it all happened and how to handle it.

 

And I have to remind myself that it’s not my fault, it’s theirs.

And you need to remember that as well and repeat this to yourself as often as you have to: “It’s not my fault.”

We don’t ask people to hurt us or be mean. We don’t ask people to abuse us verbally or physically. We don’t ask someone to treat us badly.

That’s their choice to do it and our choice to allow it or not.

What we can do is know our worth, know our value and not allow anyone to treat us badly.

We need to remind ourselves that we’re beautiful, lovable and important.

And they need to be reminded that “their words can bring us down.”

And they need to understand that hurtful words can be forgiven, but they will never be forgotten.

I’m as human as anyone else and wanted to share this piece of my life with you.

In the end, I’ll be fine.

It’s a process.

I guess you could say that “Anne Dennish” has another life lesson to learn!

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

beautiful

“Podcast 2 – What Kind Of Person Do You Want To Be?”

“Podcast 3 – Stay Out Of My Bubble”

“Losing The Time You’ll Never Get Back”

lost time

I want to give you something to think about: all the countless hours you spend working for a living are all the countless hours you’ve lost with the people you love…and you will never get that time back again.

I’m blessed to have a career that allows me to work at home, and believe me when I say that it’s work but it’s work that I love. Yet I will never get so busy writing, editing, marketing or making phone calls that I forget to make time with the ones I love. My career would mean nothing to me if that were the case. I love the time I spend writing, but I love my time with the important people in my life much more.

I’ve worked 9-5 jobs throughout my life, yet I still held to one important fact: I love my job (most of the time) but I love my life and the people in it much more. It’s a balancing act; it’s a time to say “no” to overtime; a time to decide what and who your priority is: the job or your life and the people in it.  I’ve always chosen the people in my life because I realized that neither the job nor the people in my life will always be there, so I had to choose which was more important…and that was the “people,” never the job.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell you where this story came from and it comes from a place of love.

It was born from an experience from me watching someone I care about work more hours than he was meant to, deserved to, or wanted to. He kept telling his “boss” that he was exhausted and needed a day off, yet his boss didn’t seem to care; he wanted what he wanted and he got it. This person worked every weekend he was off and he’s worked on every day that he was supposed to be off; he’s worked more overtime than was necessary because the other employees in the office didn’t want to do the work. I have to admit, this was upsetting to me; no one wants to watch someone they care about worn down and beaten into submission to do what someone else wanted them to do; no one wants to be spending time with the one they care about on a weekend together with the phone constantly spitting out text noises from a boss who wants more and more and can’t leave them alone; no one wants to watch someone they care about feel less of who they are because of someone who feels more of who they are by using their power and position to feel “in control.”

It’s a tough position for me to be in, yet being the person I am, I needed to figure out a way to explain my feelings and more importantly, how this situation was looking to me and to the outside world.

So I realized what the most important part of this was: the person I care about was losing precious time to someone who didn’t care about him and he was giving his time away to someone who didn’t deserve it; and all that time was given in vain and he will never get that time back again, not with me, his friends, or his family.

I’ve lost so many people I’ve loved over the past few years, and while I know they’re at peace now, I so wish I had had more time with them.

And that’s the point I’m making by writing this article: be mindful of the person you spend your precious time on and with and be mindful of the people you take it away from.

As we get older we understand more and more how precarious and unpredictable lifebad bosses really is; we learn to appreciate how short and precious life really is.

Take a look at your life; take a look at your job; take a look at your time…

Take a look at the most important people in your life who love and respect you…

Take a look at the people you allow to feel more important than they are…

Decide who you want to spend your precious time with…

Decide who you want to give that time to…

Decide who you don’t want to give that time to…

The choice is yours as to where and who you spend your time with…

Please think about it, be mindful and choose it wisely because wasted time on the wrong people is time that is lost on the right people for a lifetime.

And no one should live with regret over having spent time with anything or anyone that is less important than the people who are.

Shower the people you love with love…

And don’t worry about the one’s you don’t.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

bad bosses 1

 

“Select Your Thoughts Carefully”

I’ll be honest, “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert is one of my favorite movies and I can watch it over and over again and still find something else to learn from her journey. I’d like to share some of the things I’ve learned from it with you and will be sharing my favorite quotes with you.

This one rings true all the time, that we need to learn how to select our thoughts as carefully as we select our clothes, or anything else for that matter. We have the power to control what we’re thinking. We have the power to think positive thoughts or negative ones. We have the power and the control…and it truly is a process we can cultivate.

It’s difficult at times to do, even for me, yet I have to find that quiet space in my mind to stop and remind myself that my thoughts will dictate my day and my life. And it can affect those around me. I remind myself to breathe in, breathe out, and cultivate my thoughts into something positive.

Give it a try…it works!

It’s a good thing. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

select

“Be Poetry, Not A Slogan”

Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle…stand in your truth and let it light you up on the inside and shine on the outside!

“Don’t be someone’s slogan because you are poetry.” ~Sandra Bullock~

It’s your choice to be poetry or settle for being a slogan…I choose “poetry!” I hope you do, too!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

poetry

“Turning The Ugly Into The Beautiful”

life is a journey

It’s been an enlightening week in more ways than one for me. I’ve been on the receiving end of some ugly comments about me that weren’t true and handled some truths in my personal life that I hadn’t seen before.

I’ve been on a mission to spread kindness more than ever, yet as I sat outside with my coffee this morning I thought about the past week and realized something: I took something ugly and turned it into something beautiful, and all of you helped me to do that.

Sharing my stories with all of you abouts my experience from this last week was therapeutic for me; it helped me to release my emotions about it and get it all out. Every day I shared another story I received a positive comment, post or private message from all over the world. People from across the globe were reaching out to me. A fellow classmate from years ago messaged me with words of encouragement and support. People I don’t even know left comments to me that helped to heal my wounds of having been hurt.

I realized during the week that all of your support was turning the “ugly” into something “beautiful.” Maybe, just maybe, this past week brought my mantra to life: “It’s time to make a difference and we can make that difference together.” All of you had a hand in taking my bad experience and turning it into something positive. Your kind words were acts of “kindness” and that warmed my heart and meant the world to me.

You see, I believe that we are in this journey of life together. Just look at what we did this week: together we took ugly and turned it into beautiful. Together we showed the world that we are kind people; that we don’t hate or hurt; and that we are stronger together than alone.

Thank you to all of you who supported me throughout this week. Let’s keep it going and turn the “ugly” in this world into something “beautiful” and let’s do it TOGETHER!

After all, “we’re on this journey of life together, so let’s be kind to one another while we’re travelling it.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~