“Take A Look In The Mirror”

Please be kind. Be kind to everyone. The world is in desperate need of it.

Don’t be the person who puts your back to someone to exclude them from being part of the group.

Don’t be the person who rolls your eyes when someone takes the time to hug you. 

Don’t be the person who treats someone badly because of someone else’s opinion and judgement of them.

Be the person that always leaves a space open for someone to be part of the group.

Be the person who hugs someone back with eyes filled with gratitude that they thought enough of you to hug you in the first place.

Be the person who treats everyone kindly, whether you like them or not.

Where do you get your judgement of another? Are you that weak minded that you can’t base an opinion of your own?Put this in book….write a longer story.

Take a look in the mirror. Which person are you?

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Some Days And Other Days”

There are some days you just want to give up and give in. You’re tired of the drama and negativity that other people are bringing into your life, you’re exhausted from trying to escape it and them, and you feel helpless because you feel as though you have no control over anything. There are some days you feel sad for every reason and for no reason, you cry because you’re eyes need to let out the tears, and you feel tired even though you had a good night’s sleep.

Those are the “some days.”

But how about the “other days?”

The days you watch a beautiful sunrise with your morning coffee or spend time with your loved ones as you watch a spectacular sunset.

The days that you see all the beautiful people, places and things that surround you and know that you are blessed.

The days that you check off all the things on your to-do list and feel a sense of accomplishment.

The days that you walk away from the people that cause you drama and know that it’s their problem, not yours.

The days that you smile “just because,” laugh because it feels good and dance because no one and every one is watching!

The days that you’re overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers and believe that there truly is good in this world.

The days that you know that you made a positive difference in someone’s life and in the world.

The days that you wake up grateful to have another day to live your best life.

The “some days” will  happen now and again, but it’s those “other days” that help us get through them and send them on their way.

I love those “other days.”

Don’t you?

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

some days

“Blinded By The Light”

I woke up this morning feeling grateful that I’ve been given another day to live my best life.

I was thinking about the people that I’m blessed to have in my life: my family and my friends.

I was thinking about all the things that bring me joy: my home, my writing, and my life at the Jersey Shore.

I was thinking about the smallest of things that bring me peace: my morning coffee, the smell of the salt air, the sounds of the ocean, the sunrises and sunsets.

So often we lose sight of all the beauty that surrounds us because of the “ugly” things that try to blind us.

Keep your eyes open to see the beauty that surrounds you and let your light shine.

After all, “ugly” is always blinded by the light.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“The Messengers of Drama”

“Don’t shoot the messenger.”

I’ve never liked that quote because I don’t believe that there should be a messenger, and most times when there is it’s because of a negative person and situation. It’s the “messenger of drama.”

If you have something to say to someone then say it to their face. Why involve a third party to continue your drama and feed into your lies? If you truly believe your message, then make it your truth, stand in it, and deliver directly to the person it’s intended for. Don’t be a coward and use someone else to do your dirty work.

I’m a believer that if you have something to say to me, good or bad, then say it to me, not to anyone who’s willing to listen and please do not send a “third party messenger” to say it.  I believe that if you can’t say it to me, it’s because there’s no truth to what you’re saying in the first place.

I’m sure we’ve all had a “messenger” come knocking at our door at least once in our lifetime and from my experience, the messenger is simply a pawn in someone else’s game of drama. 

Stay out of the tornado of drama, don’t answer the door to the messenger, and if the true message is given from the source then take it from where it comes from: someone’s insecurity, judgement and jealousy. 

What would we gain if we stood in our truth and didn’t play into the game of “messengers and drama?”

“Peace.”

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“The Tornado of Drama”

The drama that other’s cause is like a tornado sucking in all that’s in its’ path. No one has control over being caught up in the vortex of it, yet a tornado is a force of destruction created by nature. 

Drama is a force of destruction created by another human being.

No one can control the forces of nature, but you can control the forces of drama. 

Don’t allow yourself to be sucked into the path of human destruction and don’t allow yourself to be swept up into the vortex of the drama. 

A tornado will eventually lose its’ power and end.

Drama will only lose its power if you don’t engage with it, don’t feed it and don’t fuel it.

You can’t control the behavior of others and you can’t always stop the person causing the storm, but you can make the choice to seek shelter from it until it goes away. 

Eventually when the storm of drama isn’t being fed it will lose its strength and dissipate, the same way a tornado does.

And what’s left after the storm of drama loses its strength?

“The truth.”

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“No Response Is A Powerful Response”

I love conversation and communication, as most who know me would tell you, yet sometimes situations arise in which communication is NOT key. And it’s not key because of the person provoking the situation. I believe that we are in control of our lives, of how we feel,  how we react or respond, and who we allow in our circle. We try and live our best life by setting healthy boundaries, yet there are those who don’t respect the boundaries we make. They cross the line and do as they please. They gossip, they spread lies and they try and make your life miserable. It’s “disrespect” at its’ finest.

So now what?

I used to believe that communication with someone crossing the line was key, yet there are those that want you to do that because it fuels their drama and truth be told, you’re giving them what they want: your attention.

And I made a choice not to give my attention to someone who doesn’t deserve it. It’s a waste of my precious time and filled with negative energy, and in the end, most times, there is no resolution.

I’ve learned that the best thing for me to do is NOT give the situation and the person my precious time and energy; life is too short to be wasted on the drama that another person causes. It’s their insecurities and jealousy that cause them to behave in that way.

I agree that “no response is a powerful response.” 

I’ll communicate with the people important to me, but I will not engage with someone who isn’t. 

I can’t control the drama that someone else is trying to cause in my life, but I can control how I respond.

And my response is “no response.”

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Listen To How They Treat You”

the way a person treats you

“There’s a message in the way a person treats you…just listen.”

It’s the saying I absolutely believe in: “actions speak louder than words.”

All those loving, positive words you speak to someone are only truthful when the actions back them up.

All those negative, hurtful words you speak to someone are truth. It’s how someone honestly feels about you because when you truly love someone you wouldn’t say things you know that would hurt them. And trust me, those words will stay with them for a lifetime.

If you really love someone, be it your significant other, friend, family or child, why would you say something hurtful to them? You can’t take those words back and if you said them you must have meant them. And if you didn’t mean them then why did you say them? Just to hurt them because you can? To push them away? Or maybe you use those words to put them in their place as a way to control them.

Think about why you say things to hurt someone you love. No human being has the right to hurt another, especially someone who loves you. It could be that you don’t really love them, that you don’t understand love, or that love is nothing more than a matter of convenience to you. And know this: each time you say hurtful words to someone you love you bruise their heart and that heart begins to shut down little by little.

We’re all human and none of us are perfect. We get annoyed sometimes, we get angry, we get cranky…that’s okay, we all have moments like that, but it’s NOT okay to hurt someone you love. It’s NOT okay to make them feel like your bad mood is their fault because it’s not, it’s yours. And it’s NOT okay to think you have the right to say hurtful words to someone because you want to.

We have choices in all areas of our life, especially in our relationships. You have a choice of which words you use, you have a choice in the tone of your voice when you say them, and you have a choice to talk things through calmly with the one you love instead of being mean and hurtful.

And you have a choice to walk away.

You have a bad day? Work getting to you? Are you unhappy? Did someone make you angry or hurt your feelings?

We all rough days now and then, but understand that it’s not fair or right to take YOUR rough day out on another.

Think about what you’re feeling and why…

Don’t take it out on someone who loves you…

Don’t bruise the heart of someone who truly loves you..

And remember that their feelings are just as important as yours…

Be kind or be quiet.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“How A Heart Breaks”

 

breaking a heart

We’ve all had our hearts broken a time or two in this lifetime and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: it doesn’t suddenly break. It’s takes time to break it.

And do you know why a heart breaks?

It’s because someone has been chipping away at it over and over again.

And when most of the heart has been chipped away there’s not much left to hold it together and one day it breaks altogether.

And it can and will never be repaired to the heart it once was. Only the broken hearted can heal their heart and in time, their heart will heal and be stronger than the heart that had been broken.

There’s all type of abuse out there but nothing will chip away at a heart more than verbal and emotional abuse. Those are the worst and I know it for fact because I’ve been the person on the other side of it more times than I can count. It’s a difficult and long process to heal, but it is possible, because I’ve done it, and I’ve done it more than once.

I’m going to be honest about this subject because I can speak from personal experience.

Words and actions hurt. They chip away at a heart that loves someone so much that they allow it to happen, at least until the day they’ve had enough. And the day that happens is long after the heart has been chipped away at until it breaks; that day is when that person gets strong and rebuilds their damaged heart.

And that is the day they’ve had enough.

It’s the day they’ve seen the truth of the person who treats them that way.

And it’s the day that they realize their value and we all have value. No one deserves to be treated badly, even the ones who treat others badly.

Love doesn’t hurt the heart; harsh words and behaviors do.

Words last forever.

The pain the words caused will never be forgotten.

And a once whole, happy, loving person will break apart.

Until they pick themselves up and put themselves back together.

There are some who don’t realize just how hurtful their words and actions can be to someone they love, especially when that person still sees good in them and still loves them. But the day will come after countless conversations between the two people of how badly they’ve been hurt and how much damage it causes to their heart…and to their soul.It’s the day the heart has been chipped away at over and over again that it breaks.

The good news is that a heart that breaks is proof that it works. It’s proof that you have a heart that loves with abandon, loves another with all that they are, and loves unconditionally. The bad news is that that kind of heart will break when the person they love doesn’t have the same kind of heart.

They have a heart that controls, a heart that can only love so much, and a heart that doesn’t know how to love unconditionally.

Hearts that have been chipped at over time will eventually break, but they also will be given the chance to heal into a stronger heart, a smarter heart, and a heart that knows what they deserve and what they don’t. And it will learn to never settle for less than what they deserve.

Choose your words carefully. Keep your bad day to yourself. Leave work at the office.

 Don’t take your frustrations out on another. And cherish the ones that love you unconditionally with a beautiful heart. Once you chip away at their heart enough you’ll break it, and while everything is forgivable, it’s very rarely repairable.

Remember that.

And ask yourself these very important questions: How would you feel if the person you love treated you the way you treat them? How would you feel if they chipped away at your heart? How would you feel if they were telling you that you were always wrong and that they were always right?

You are in control of your actions towards someone you love.

Choose your words carefully because once you’ve said them you can’t take them back.

It’s never too late to change.

And positive change is a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“Insight Into Cruel People”

There are some cruel people in this world. They are the ones that judge you, point the finger at you, tell you what’s wrong with you and are verbally abusive. It doesn’t matter if it’s someone you know or a stranger: it’s wrong.

Yet all too often it happens without warning and without reason, although there is a reason people are cruel: it’s them projecting their own fears and insecurities onto you. And it’s wrong, it’s hurtful, and it’s abusive.

My son was the target of a stranger in a convenience store yelling obscenities at him and saying some downright disgusting comments to him. As a mother, it infuriated me and I wish I had been there when it happened. On the other hand, had it not been my child I still would have been infuriated because no one has the right to speak to another human being that way.

I’ve been on the other end of verbal abuse more times than I can count, yet there’s one thing I’ve learned and I want to share with you: those people are projecting their fears and insecurities onto me.

They see in someone else what they can’t see in themselves and want desperately to see or be.

They see strength in someone else that they wish they had, but they don’t because they don’t know how to be strong.

They see an open minded person living a happy life, being who they are, and wish they could be that person, but they can’t because they’re afraid to.

They’re afraid to be who they want to be and have the life they want to have because they fear people just like them judging them and verbally abusing and harassing them.

Those cruel people have low self-esteem, fear, and insecurities beyond belief.

They don’t know how to be any other way than cruel, and they don’t want to try and be any different. They make the choice to be judgmental and mean, and the rest of us suffer because of their ignorance.

I know all of this to be true but I will admit my heart always breaks a bit when someone is nasty and cruel to me or my loved ones.

But I also have to remember that it’s not me they’re actually judging…they are judging themselves and taking it out on me.

Be kind, my friends, for you never know the what the journey of another human being is like.

Ignore those cruel people and know they are the ones with the problems, not you.

Fear, insecurity, jealousy and low self-esteem: negative emotions that breed negative people.

Don’t be one of them.

Be you.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“You Are Beautiful…No Matter What They Say”

I’m always honest with all of you that follow me and I’m going to be honest now. You’ve all become “friends” to me with all your support and comments which I appreciate more than I can say.

I share my personal experiences with all of you in the hopes to make a difference to someone, yet there are moments in my life that it isn’t all sunshine and roses, as I’m sure yours isn’t at times.

So I’m going to get personal and honest with all of you: I’ve had a bad week. A really bad week.

I’ve gone through a few situations this week that hurt my heart so deeply that I’m having a difficult time getting past it…yet I know I will in time.

I have to process what’s happened, try to understand why, and figure out the lesson in it for me. Heartache happens to teach us something…and now it’s trying to teach me something.

I know what to do because I’m always telling all of you how to get through rough times…I’ve been down this road before and I know it’s a difficult journey, yet I know the process I have to go through to get to a better place.

I need to remind myself that anyone who hurts my heart did so because of their own issues. Some people hurt others because they’re feeling hurt themselves, or because they need to have that control, or because they’re simply abusive. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make it right.

And I let them do it.

And sometimes we just don’t know how to stop them from doing it, which is why I believe to my toes that if someone treats you that way you have to wish them love and light and let them go.

And it’s not easy.

So, yes, I’m feeling hurt this week and trying to figure out why it all happened and how to handle it.

 

And I have to remind myself that it’s not my fault, it’s theirs.

And you need to remember that as well and repeat this to yourself as often as you have to: “It’s not my fault.”

We don’t ask people to hurt us or be mean. We don’t ask people to abuse us verbally or physically. We don’t ask someone to treat us badly.

That’s their choice to do it and our choice to allow it or not.

What we can do is know our worth, know our value and not allow anyone to treat us badly.

We need to remind ourselves that we’re beautiful, lovable and important.

And they need to be reminded that “their words can bring us down.”

And they need to understand that hurtful words can be forgiven, but they will never be forgotten.

I’m as human as anyone else and wanted to share this piece of my life with you.

In the end, I’ll be fine.

It’s a process.

I guess you could say that “Anne Dennish” has another life lesson to learn!

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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