“Free Will”

I have a close circle of friends and there are moments I have to sit and wonder why they make the choices that they do. I know to my toes that it may not be their best choice, but they make it anyway.

And in all fairness, I bet they think the same thing about my choices.

We love who we love and we love the people in our tribe, yet there are moments that they’re handed a situation in which they have to make a choice…and sometimes those that love them sitting on the outside of it wonder why they chose the path that they did.

We may know that they’re making the wrong decision, but it’s at those moments that we need to step back and let them move forward with their choices, wrong or right.

And why?

Because it’s their “free will,” not ours.
And if we don’t let them lead their own life, make their own choices, and do what they think is right, then they’ll never learn a lesson that their life is about to hand them.

And that’s “free will.”

It’s allowing those we love the freedom to make their own choices, even if our intuition tells us that it’s wrong.

We learn life lessons by making mistakes and learning from them.

And if someone takes our free will away from us, then they’ve stolen a valuable moment in our life; they’ve taken away our right to make a choice, bad or not, and learn from it.

We may not always understand why the ones we love make the choices that they do, but a big part of loving them is respecting them enough to allow them their free will to do so.

We all want to protect those that are important to us, but if we don’t allow them to make their own choices and in some cases, mistakes, then we took away their right to learn and grow as a person.

The best thing we can do is be there for them if they should make a wrong choice and celebrate with them when they make the right choice.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

right or wrong

“My Strength Is Their Weakness”

strength and weakness

I wrote that quote many years ago near the end of my 20 year marriage. As I began to heal physically and emotionally from all the turmoil of that, I realized that it was at my moments of anxiety, sadness or depression that he became strong. At first I thought he was showing true signs of kindness, yet in time I realized what was really happening: I was feeding his ego and he was starving my self-esteem.  He felt like “the big man” helping the poor, defenseless, broken woman. The woman HE broke. The woman he was abusive to; the woman he told over and over again was stupid and ugly; the woman he told would never be loved by anyone.

And I believed him…until I stopped believing him.

Are you wondering how I stopped believing all that negative stuff he had embedded onto my brain? I woke up. I realized that I had allowed him free reign over me for many years and that by doing that, the behavior continued. I allowed him to speak down to me and allowed him to be disrespectful to me.  So, one day I woke up and stopped allowing it, and the marriage was done and over with.

I went through years of healing myself mentally and emotionally, and of course it was with the help of many spiritual teachers and a wonderful tribe of true friends.

I learned so much about myself and that loving myself first was the answer to not allowing anyone else to treat me that way. You’d think it would never happen again, yet I’m human; we’re all human. Sometimes life brings you an experience that you thought you had learned the lessons from…yet life knows when you forget the lesson. And the Universe will put a similar experience back into your way until you wake up and realize that what you stopped allowing years ago, you’re allowing once again.

Even after that divorce I would find myself meeting someone whose ego was strengthened by my weakness, and for those that know me, they know I’m anything but weak. It would sporadically happen here and there throughout the years, yet know I’m much more able to recognize it when it’s happening. I’ve learned that those people lack control of their own life so they try and control mine; they lack self-respect and are unable to respect anyone else; they don’t feel strong unless they’re paired up with someone weak.

And I am no longer that girl.

I want to be treated the way I deserve and the way that I treat others: with love, kindness, compassion, consideration and loyalty. And I won’t settle for anything less. I want to be loved for the person I am, quirks and all, because I love that person that I’ve become.

We all have moments of feeling weak and that’s okay; it’s those moments that help us to find our strength again and stand back up on our feet even stronger.

We all have moments of finding ourselves back in a situation that we thought would never return and that’s okay; you’re given that situation to remind you of the lesson you forgot.

And we all find ourselves staring into the mirror, looking at ourselves and wondering how we got here and what happened to us, and that’s okay; keep looking in that mirror long enough and you’ll once again see the person you thought was lost.

It’s those moments of feeling lost that we’re actually finding ourselves again, and we’re finding an even better and stronger version of the person we once were.

Life is about balance and we all fall out of balance every so often. It’s when the world around us is spinning out of control that we see the truth of everything, and it’s those moments we find our balance again.

Don’t let anyone make you feel weak; surround yourself with people that make you strong.

Don’t spend your precious time feeding someone’s ego; spend your time feeding your self-esteem.

And don’t rely on anyone loving you the way you want to be loved; love yourself that way first and the rest will fall into place.

Everything in your life begins with YOU.

Stop allowing what you don’t want to continue.

Forgive yourself when you forgot a lesson you learned and get back on track.

And love yourself.

If you do nothing else, love yourself.

Everything is possible when you begin with love.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“What Now With New Beginnings”

“Journey is over, the battle is won. A new chapter starting, a new day begun, 

So what do I do know? Where do I start?

Do I take the road known or less traveled and follow my heart?

Life is always changing, it’s time to turn the page,

The story continues and it’s mine to create.

So what do I do now? Where do I go?

Do I let my mind lead me backwards in time or move ahead slow?”

What now with new beginnings? What now with the old life behind? What now that I’m starting over, no clue, no reason, no rhyme.

Time to change my thinking,

Time to lose the fear,

The Universe is watching, that’s what brought me here.

It’s all an adventure, my life is a song.

I know where I’ve been, not where I’m going but I’m dancing along.”

Aside from writing books, I also write song lyrics and this is one that I wrote about my journey with breast cancer. Yet it’s not only about that; it’s about endings and the beautiful new beginnings that follow. It’s about leaving the past behind and moving forward. It’s about creating the life you want. It’s about changing your perspective.  It’s about losing the fear and taking a leap of faith.

And it’s about embracing the journey of a beautiful new beginning.

It’s all an adventure so dance along the journey.

It’s a good thing!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The Lesson In Disappointment”

A week from today I was supposed to fly to California. It’s a trip I’ve been looking forward to ever since I booked my flight over a month ago. Aside from my “happy place” at the Jersey Shore where I live, Malibu is my other “happy place.” The energy there is amazing and for some reason, I feel like I’m “home” when I’m there. Two years ago I spent a week in a Malibu beach house where I finished my book, “Waking Up.” I did some of my best writing there and it was an intense soul searching time for me as well. This trip was important to me, not only because I’d be in a place I love, but because I’d be seeing my oldest son (who I haven’t seen in over a year), my Nike Nephews and would be writing and working on another book.

Over the last few days my intuition was screaming to me: “It’s not the time to go.” And that thought stuck in my head for days. My sister called me two days ago and said that she had a bad feeling about me going and that I should go another time. She also told me to remember what I always say: Everything happens for a reason. And if there’s one thing I believe in with all my heart and one I tell others is this: trust your intuition because it never lies.

So yesterday morning I had to make an adult, big girl, responsible, smart decision…and they’re not the most fun to make. I cancelled my trip. And to say I was disappointed is an understatement, yet I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. There were too many factors popping up in the last week and I knew days ago that I would have to decide whether to go or not. I don’t like when things get complicated and this trip was beginning to get more and more complicated.

I went to the hairdresser in the morning feeling disappointed and sad and I ran errands feeling disappointed and sad. Those feelings stuck with me all day, yet once I was in the comfort of my home the tears came. The tears started late in the afternoon and continued until I fell asleep. They came in waves over dinner, and came as sobs during my bath. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears; I felt sad, disappointed and broken and I kept wondering “Why did this happen to me?”

And then the answers came through the questions in the tears: because you needed to learn something….and I did.

I remembered what it is I always tell people, and when I heard Elizabeth Gilbert say it I had confirmation that it’s true: set your priorities, make boundaries around your sacred space, and learn to say no.

And that’s true…and I know that, yet I forgot that.

My lesson was that I had lost sight of my priorities, I was allowing people to cross my boundaries, and I was saying “yes” to things I should have been saying “no” to.

So yes, I had a day of sadness and disappointment, of feeling broken, but I knew I had to go through it and get through it and I did. My soul needed to cry long and hard to let go of what I was feeling.

I sit here this morning with a headache and swollen eyes, yet knowing I learned a lesson the hard way…and an important lesson at that.

My point to you is don’t feel badly for having a down day; they happen for a reason and that reason, more often than not, teaches you something that’s for your Highest Good. Sometimes it’s those “dark” days that enable us to see the “light.” Feel what you have to, learn the lesson, and let it go.

Sometimes our biggest disappointments teach us our greatest lessons.

And I’m good with that.

Because this is life…

And it’s a part of the journey. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

disappointment

“Picking Up Bad Vibes”

I love meeting new people, yet every so often I meet one that, simply put, rubs me the wrong way. I don’t always know “why” that happens, and it doesn’t happen often, but I do know it’s my intuition talking to me: it’s telling me to walk away from them.

It’s my intuition picking up some “bad vibes and negative energy” from them.

It’s my intuition telling me that they’re not who they seem to be and to proceed with caution.

It’s my intuition telling me to walk away from them, release the bad vibes I got from them, cleanse myself of their negative energy, and do whatever it takes to never be around them again.

So many times we find ourselves in situations in which we feel uncomfortable; we may not know at that moment “why” we feel what we do, but I’m here to tell you to “trust your gut.” The answer to “why” will present itself to you when it’s meant to.

As for me, I’m a 24 hour girl, one who continues to think about something for that amount of time until I understand my feelings. So, when my intuition speaks, I listen, and then I begin to process my “why” and allow the answer to come…and it always does.

We’re not meant to like everyone we meet. Sometimes we meet the “negative vibe” people to teach us something about ourselves, or about them. Sometimes we meet them as a test to see if we’re truly listening to our intuition or not.

It’s okay to distance yourself from the people who make you feel uneasy, or angry, or uncomfortable. This is simply your intuition looking out for you.

Walk away from the people who send off bad vibes…

And keep the “good vibes” in your tribe…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

bad vibes

“The Godfather”

I lost someone very special to me two years ago today. He was an amazing man and while I wasn’t in his life for very long, he made an impact on mine to last a lifetime. Tom Contreras was “the godfather” to me and always wanted me to write about him…and I not only wrote about him, I published his story in my last book. This is my story about “The Godfather!”

It’s not very often in this lifetime that you meet someone who makes an impact on your life, yet I met such a man who left this world too soon on a Saturday night late in December after a night spent with family and friends.  He’s my love’s cousin, Tommy Contreras, and he became one of my closest friends ever since I was introduced to him. I touched base with him by phone daily, and my love and I would “conference” call him together a few nights a week, and believe me, those calls were nothing short of belly laughs, off color jokes, and love!

I didn’t know him as long as his family, yet with Tommy you felt like you knew him a lifetime. He had a way of making you feel like you were his family and I am forever grateful to him for making me feel that way. I used to call him “the Godfather” because I could call him for advice, or even better, his opinion! He loved that title, especially belonging to a big Italian family!

He had a smile that lit up the room, and a laugh that made you laugh right along. He had an amazing singing voice and an incredible sense of humor with just the right amount of sarcasm. He had the ability to make fun of himself just to make you laugh, and he was famous for opening up a conversation with “you won’t believe what happened to me!” And then he’d proceed to tell you about the craziest things that I truly believe could only happen to him!

He was a “gentle giant” with a heart as big as the ocean and enough love to go around the world.

Tommy left too soon, yet it was an honor, privilege and a blessing to have known him, and to have been with him, surrounding him with love, as he closed his eyes and left this world.

He was my “words with friends” partner and I was finally winning! He was the “go to” guy when I needed advice about his cousin and he was my friend. I’ve been missing him, but as his family and friends all gathered together at one of his favorite restaurants in Point Pleasant, Frankie’s, two days after he passed, his presence was felt. I felt the emptiness of him not being with us, as did his family, yet the night belonged to him, filled with stories told through laughter and tears. And truth be told, his body may not have been there but his spirit and soul was. It still is.

He left a legacy to his family and to anyone lucky enough to know him and not everyone is able to do that. I don’t think he ever realized the important place he had in the lives of those who knew him; I don’t think he truly knew how much he was loved; I don’t think he understood just how much he meant to the people he met.

But I know that where he is now, he does know. And he’s smiling, he’s not in pain, he’s happy and he’s watching over all of us…even me.

I hope he knows now how much he’s missed, but more importantly, that he’s remembered with love and laughter, stories and memories. I’m absolutely sure that the immense amount of love we all have for him followed him straight up to Heaven!

I miss this man and think of him often, yet I know he’s around. I feel his presence during a family party and hear his laughter when someone tells a good old-fashioned, off color, funny joke!

He always got on my case about being in one of my books, always saying to me “I’m in the next book, right?” I always answered the same way: “yes, you will be, just waiting for the spirit to move me to writing it!”

And his spirit moved me.

I will forever be grateful to this man for allowing me the blessing of being part of his life; it was both an honor and a privilege, and I’m grateful to be part of some of those great family stories and memories now….

There are moments now that I want to call him and say “Hey, you won’t believe what happened to me!”

But I can’t.

What I can do is close my eyes, think about him and hear his voice.

Yet every so often, my heart feels a bit selfish and I can’t help but think that he should be here; he should be here to be a part of our lives, of our dreams, of our laughter and tears; he should be here with hugs at family parties and to celebrate our successes. He should be here…

But then again, I have to remind myself that he is here and always will be…in all of our hearts and all of our minds.

This one’s for you, Tom Contreras

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

tommy-memorial

Tom Contreras – The Godfather

 

 

“4 AM”

 

4am2

It’s been well over a week now that I find myself getting up at 4am. It’s not that I’m going to bed early the night before, yet I find myself waking at 3am, going back into a broken sleep, and finally giving in, giving up and getting up at 4 am.

There’s so much going on in my mind right now; questions I need answered seem to be more present during the night than during my waking hours.

  • When will my new book, “My Collective Soul: Things I Know Without Knowing Why” be released?
  • Will the new book be well received and a success?
  • Will the new motivational speaking lectures I’m about to begin change a life and make a difference to someone?
  • Will my relationship ever move to the next level?
  • Will this sadness tucked deep within my heart ever go away?
  • What is holding me back and what do I need to do to move forward?
  • Will my intuition ever stop speaking to me about the reality of my life?
  • Will my heart ever catch up to what my head already knows?

That’s a lot for 4 am, yet I embrace the questions in my mind because it’s my Higher4am Power watching over me and looking out for me. It’s the questions that only I can answer and deep inside, I know the answers to most of them. And while some of the answers may be difficult, I know without a doubt that they will allow me to live my Highest Good. Anything waking me up at 4 am must be important and I have to pay attention.

Aside from all the chattering in my mind, there are some beautiful things about waking up at 4am.

  • No one else is up and the house is quiet.
  • The sky is so dark that you can see a billion stars and constellations.
  • There’s a stillness outside that you don’t have during the day.
  • There’s a different kind of energy at that time…exciting and yet calming.
  • It’s a time when I can hear my thoughts and my intuition speaking to me.
  • And the best thing is this: it’s MY time alone.

Would I like to sleep in? Absolutely.

Am I okay with waking up at 4 am? Absolutely.

There’s a reason I’m waking up at that time, and that reason is “me.” My Higher Power knows I need this time to think, to write, and to sit in silence outside to listen and learn.

4 am: It’s early but it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Everything You Want Begins With You”

 

begins with youI’ve been hearing a lot of grumblings going on out there lately. So many people seem disappointed with their life; they don’t have what they want and they don’t understand why. And here’s why:

“Because everything you want in your life begins with you.”

You have the control and the power to have what you want.

If you want peace in your life then you have to start find the peace within you.

If you want respect from others, you have to respect yourself first.

If you want to be loved you have to love yourself first and in the way that you want to be loved.

If you want to surround yourself with positive people, you have to let go of the negative ones.

If you want a loving and kind life partner, you have to be loving and kind to yourself first.

If you’re unhappy with your job then find a new one or change your attitude about it.

If you’re frustrated that you don’t have as much money as you want, be grateful for what money you do have and decide what you can do to have more.

If you want to learn to trust people you must first trust yourself and your intuition.

If you want to write a book, start typing.

If you want to take a vacation, start saving and planning.

If you want to fulfill your dreams, stop chasing them and begin to catch them.

And if you are unhappy with your life, change it. Turn the page. Move forward. Wish the negative situations and people in it “love and light” and let them go. Love yourself. Believe in yourself. Change your perspective. Keep a positive attitude. Be grateful. Count your blessings. Take a leap of faith and know that everything you want will happen as it should, how it should and when it should.

It all begins with YOU.

My life isn’t perfect, but it’s perfect for me.

And I would bet that yours is too.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Distance Yourself From Negativity”

If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

If it doesn’t sound right, don’t listen.

If it makes you feel uneasy, trust your gut.

If it doens’t make you feel good, then walk away.

If it doesn’t bring out the best in you, then leave it behind.

Beautiful things happen when we distance ourselves from negative people and situations; trust your intuition to guide you towards the positive.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Always Trust Your Gut”

Just a little piece of advice for you all: trust your gut, trust your intuition and trust yourself. There seems to be so much dark energy floating around in the world lately that you have to be careful of who and what you’re surrounding yourself with, especially where the internet and social media are concerned.

If something feels wrong or feels “off,” know that it is.

If you know someone in your life or see a picture of someone and your intuition screams that there’s something dark or negative about them, know that there is.

Protect the beautiful being that you are and surround yourself with love and light. Stay away from the dark and negative energy that surrounds certain people, whether it’s in your life or through the internet.

Stay positive, stay grounded, and stay focused on your intuition and gut feelings…trust them. And please, when you get the feeling that something “isn’t right,” and you don’t understand why, trust that your gut knows why, even if you don’t know the reason yet.

I wish you all love,light, and protection from the negative and dark people that try to hurt you and the ones you love.

Be safe, be mindful, and “pay attention.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~