forgiveness

“Through The Eyes Of A Child”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout my life experiences is that more often than not, my children were right. They were right when I thought I was right. They were right when I thought they were wrong. They, as my children, could see things that I couldn’t, at least until time showed me just what it was that they could see.

“Through the eyes of a child…”

My children are all grown now yet I can look back and remember times that they had a strong opinion about a situation that I was in or about something I was doing. At the time I thought that they were just children, they couldn’t possibly know what I was going through.

But the truth is, as children they didn’t have to know.

As children they could see through their eyes of innocence.

As children they could feel that something was wrong for their mother.

As children they had a sixth sense, one that as I’ve grown older I wish I’d paid more attention to or listened to.

We often dismiss the opinions of our children simply because they are our children. I’ve learned through time and experience that that isn’t always true.

Sometimes our children see what we, as adults, can’t.

There are days that I wish I had listened to their opinion and feelings, yet if I do that I’d end up living a life of regret but instead just take my accountability that I was wrong.

There were so many times that I should have listened to them.

And for what it’s worth, I’m listening now.

And for those times I hope that they can forgive me.

I try not to regret those times but instead consider them a learning experience, a life lesson, if you will.

There are no perfect mothers or fathers but there are mothers and fathers that try their best.

And that’s what I’ve tried to do.

Sometimes my best wasn’t good enough yet it’s all in the past. As long as I’ve learned from it, that’s the best I can do.

I wish, as adults, we could see life “through the eyes of a child.”

But there’s always hope that we can still learn how.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“My Mom and Me”

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It’s the day after Christmas and I’ve taken the day off from cooking, baking and all other holiday tasks and relaxed. I missed having my children home but I did make a beautiful Christmas dinner for my parents and spent time with them, yet it’s my mom that is in my mind today.

My mom and I have had a strained relationship most of my life yet as she gets older and I get older, I believe that we have a newfound respect for one another. I love my mom and always felt that I never measured up, never pleased her, and never made her proud. Yet I’ve learned to understand her and take into account the life she lived as a child and as she became a mom.

That’s the thing as our parents get older, we see things differently and begin to understand them in a whole new way. I needed to find forgiveness for the mistakes that my mom made because I’ve made mistakes of my own. I needed to understand that my mom was young once with her own heartache from losing her dad at the age of 7 and being raised by a single mom. And I needed to know and accept that she did the best that she could, because she really did try to do her best and she still does.

And I understand all of that now because I’m a mom who has tried to do the best she could, mistakes and all. I understand my mom now because I’m a mom and because I realized that she was also a person who was trying to live her life the best that she could.

This Christmas I may have been missing my children yet I also realized that in time I’ll be missing my mom, and I don’t want to miss any chance of that time we have together.

I love these pictures that were taken of my mom and I on Christmas night. We laughed a lot and I am so grateful for the time we spent together last night. Apologies to my dad for no pictures but this was all about my mom and me.

Moments we spend with those we love are meant to be treasured and I am holding the memories of last night tight in my heart.

I am grateful to have spent Christmas night with my parents, especially with my mom.

Life is precious. Embrace it. Love one another. And please, be kind.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“So Today I Did A Thing…”

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So, I did a “thing” today. I signed the contracts with my publisher to do another book! This one is way different than what I’ve written before and definitely a bit out of my comfort zone but I am so excited to be back under contract and ready to get published. Sometimes I need the pressure of a deadline to get myself moving. I believe with all my heart that this is going to be part of my moving forward in my life.

It’s been a wonderful “staycation” so far, one filled with changes and decisions and I’ll say it again, I’m grateful for the time to do so. 

Life is precious and as I get older I realize just how precious it is. No day should be wasted, no minute should be wasted. There’s so many things I want to do before my last breath is taken and now is the time to do what it takes to do them.

It feels good to be back to being “me.” I missed her.

As I end this post I say this to all of you:

Forgive those who have hurt you and forgive yourself.

Have no regrets because mistakes are to be learned from and make us a better person.

Love hard and love long.

Laugh as often as you can.

Mean what you say but don’t be mean when you say it.

Your actions will always speak louder than your words. Choose them wisely.

And every day that you’re blessed to have another day to do it better than before, spend it with your loved ones or be aware of the beauty that surrounds you, be grateful.

Love you all!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“And On Those Down Days…”

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It took me over 30 minutes to get the ice and snow off my car this morning but after that I was on my way to work, driving my favorite route: the beach. It was quite a beauty this morning. It’s almost an anomaly to see snow on the sand but one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. It’s haunting yet picturesque. It’s a look that you don’t see often so when you’re lucky enough to see it then you know you’re blessed to have seen something so amazing.

Sometimes our days begin in an awesome way until something trips us up and puts us in a funk, a down mood, so to speak. I had just that type of morning. In the midst of accounting and invoices I found myself feeling sad. I know what caused it but more importantly, I had to figure out why. I wasn’t going to talk about it until I figured out why a certain incident caused me to feel so badly. And that’s where I am tonight. I don’t want to talk about it with anyone until I’ve figured out why I let it bother me.

The key is not to react to whomever may have invoked these feelings within us, but rather look inwards to ourselves to understand and figure out WHY we had those feelings. And that is what my Friday night is tonight, taking a good look inward at my heart and soul to see what I’m really upset about. Was it what was said? Or was it about how I felt about what was said?

And that’s up to each of us. We need to understand that our feelings, no matter how they were invoked, are OUR feelings and only WE know why we feel that way. This is why it’s important not to react but rather to take it in and think about it. My feelings tonight are MINE and mine alone. I know what upset wasn’t meant to intentionally upset me but sadly, it did. I don’t blame the person who said it but would rather spend my time tonight alone thinking about WHY it upset me. And once I can do that, I’ll be able to say that I learned something else about myself, and isn’t that what life is all about? Learning about ourselves, the why’s and the how’s, and figuring out what to do with all of that. 

I’m learning not to blame the messenger but to understand the message and deal with it.

Life is always changing and we are always learning more and more about ourselves, if we’re open to learning, not blaming. And isn’t that what our down days are all about? Learning, not blaming. Understanding, not judging. Accepting, not allowing.

I love life more than I can tell you, the good days and the bad. I know that they all came to teach me, help me, and move me forward. And my hope is that you see your life as a gift, not a burden, no matter what it hands you.

As for me? My Friday night is filled with a hot bath, a cup of lavender tea, and a martini glass filled with tears and understanding.

Good night, my loves. May life be good to you and may you take those “down days” as your life lesson on how to turn them into your “up days!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“My New Year’s Revelations”

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The definition of a revelation is “a surprising and previously unknown fact, especially one that is made known in a dramatic way.”

I write about the “New Year’s Revelations” every year and as 2020 is about to end I’m thinking of all that I’ve been through and all that I’ve learned. I’d like to share that with you.

My year began with the launch of my book, “Each Breath Along The Journey,” which brought some amazing opportunities for me: a chance to teach a writer’s workshop in Italy, to write for a local magazine and conduct a weekly workshop. The pandemic hit and every chance I had was suddenly gone. 

The pandemic kept me confined to the house and my daily routine was disrupted with everyone else home. I began cooking AND eating three meals a day, and not all the healthiest of choices. 

I found myself going back to a job I had left six years ago to work full-time. Suddenly I was out and everyone else was home. 

My five year relationship was falling apart and by July it had all changed.

I moved from the house I had been in for 10 years to a 9 month winter rental near the beach.

We’ve all gone through some tough times this year but as I always say “change is a chance to grow.” Some of those changes may be difficult but I always believe everything happens for a reason.

My revelations of 2020 are:

“Resilience.”Disappointment happens and things don’t always go as planned but those disappointments are a chance to do something else with what you’ve got. Sometimes those disappointments turn into your greatest comeback!

 “Gratitude.” I learned to embrace the time that the pandemic had forced me to have home with those closest to me. It slowed me down and gave me a greater appreciation for my life and all the things I had taken for granted. 

“Health.” Three meals a day equals weight gain so I decided to change all that by joining a program that not only helped me to lose the weight and inches, it’s helped me to sleep better and have more energy. My  mind is clear and more focused than ever. 

“Blessing.” The job proved to be a good thing for me both mentally and financially.

“Forgiveness.” We were both feeling hurt from all that had happened in our relationship and it forced us to take a good look at ourselves and each other.  It’s one day at a time and we continue to work at it.

“Healing.” The move to the beach house proved to be the best place I could have landed at that time in my life. I needed to heal and find my balance again.

And that’s how I’m letting go and saying good-bye to 2020, with my revelations of “resilience, gratitude, blessings, forgiveness and healing.” It’s a good start for 2021 and I’ll be taking those revelations and more into the new year with me.

Happy New Year, my loves.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Here Comes That Holiday Anxiety!”

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The holidays are fast approaching and that “good ‘ol anxiety” we sometimes feel is taking advantage of us and rearing its ugly head! So many people have anxiety at this time of year and this year it seems to be worse. We feel cut off from friends and family and isolated from having a social life that we’ve grown accustomed to.

But this too shall pass.

Be kind to yourself and others.

Be gentle and forgiving with yourself and others.

And remember that this holiday season will soon become a memory to be shared next year when you’re surrounded by family, friends and loved ones.

We’re all in this together even though we have to do it apart.

Hang in there, my loves.

You got this!

And you’re doing just fine.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Healing A Broken Heart”

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Anger is one of the most dangerous emotions to feel. It pushes people into doing things that they wouldn’t normally do and the repercussions of those actions can be brutal. And the damage it can cause to another human being is oftentimes hurtful beyond repair, the effects lasting a lifetime. There’s no value in anger, only in forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. That is why forgiveness is so very important. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that it is “okay” for someone to hurt you, or that you forgot what they did, it means that you’ve forgiven the person in order to let go of your anger. Heartache and hurt feelings take time to heal, but anger? You can get rid of it as quickly as you felt it…with forgiveness. Time does heal all wounds, and so does love, compassion, understanding, empathy and a willingness to take accountability for your part in all of it.

And time does heal all wounds more quickly when you have found forgiveness in your heart. Nothing heals a broken heart more than a heart that can forgive. And I know that to be true. Just my thoughts…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“These Three Things”

/ Anne Dennish / 3 Comments

It was during this last month of quarantine that I learned that three important components are absolutely necessary to survive being “SAFE at home.” They are patience, tolerance and forgiveness, and most often, in that order. 

You need to have patience with the people you live with, the people you deal with and with yourself. Every one of us will have a day of feeling stressed and anxious, and every one of us will take that out on someone else who had nothing to do with it. Therein lies the patience. Be patient in knowing that all of us are experiencing this in different ways and act out in different ways. Be patient with others and be patient with yourself while you’re trying to be patient with them!

You need to try to have some amount of tolerance of the behavior of others in order to have the patience you need to tolerate their moments of lashing out. That’s not to say that you have to be a doormat and the recipient of someone else’s anxiety or stress. It just means that on those occasions (and I hope they are few!) that someone takes out their mood on you, be tolerant and be patient with them.

And most importantly, you need to practice forgiveness. You need to forgive the people that you had to be patient and tolerant with, and you need to forgive yourself for the days that you couldn’t be.

These are difficult times we’re living in and I truly believe that patience, tolerance and forgiveness are a must. Under normal circumstances we may not have to practice tolerance of “not so good” behavior as much, but right now we do, as long as it’s not on a daily basis and not bordering on abusive. 

I know that we’re all trying to get through this as best we can and some days are just too much to handle, but we need to remember to not only be patient, tolerant and forgiving of others, but of ourselves as well. 

If you can practice these three things, toss in a large dose of kindness for others and yourself as well, you will find “safety AND serenity” at home. 

Hang in there…you’re doing just fine!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“It’s Them, Not You”

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unkind people 2

There’s this one life lesson that I’m obviously not learning as well as I should and it cropped up again on me last night without warning. And after it happened, I was more angry at myself for allowing it to have happened again.

And what is that? I allowed someone to take out their insecurities, jealousies, or bad day on me by bringing up painful past situations and mistakes that I’ve made peace with, moved on from, and learned from. And throughout the conversation I began defending myself…and I should and do know better than to do that.

Truth be told, by the time I got off the phone I was drained. They had said so many hurtful things to me that I went to bed in tears, feeling like a failure.

This morning I woke up with a headache, a bruised heart, and a sadness in my soul, but I’m working on that today. I know I’m not a failure because I’m living my life purpose and pursuing my passion and dreams. I know I’m not a failure because I keep moving forward with a positive attitude no matter what life or another person hands me. And I know I’m not a failure because I would never do anything hurtful to another even though they did that to me.

I understand that people have bad days, trust me, I do as well, but I would never take it out on another person. And as I’ve taught my children, when people are unkind, mean or hurtful to you, it’s not really because of YOU; they are simply taking their fears, their insecurities, their jealousies or bad days out on you. They’re afraid to face their own truth and their own life so they inflict emotional and verbal pain on you. It’s not okay for anyone to do that to another human being. We can all understand why they do it but we do NOT have to allow them to do it.

Are you wondering why I allowed it yet again? Me too, but the truth is, it was someone in my family and I didn’t see the conversation going in that direction until it did…and I just couldn’t seem to shut it down. I told my best friend about it this morning and she said to me: “this is your problem; use your voice, shut them down and talk to them the same way they’re talking to you.” My response: “I won’t lower myself to that level and I will not be unkind to someone even if they’re being unkind to me.”

And I think that’s a lesson for all of us. What we allow will continue and sometimes the people that are unkind to us are the closest to us, yet I believe this to be true: even if it’s family, it’s no reason to allow that behavior. Sometimes, especially with family, we have to wish them love and light and put some distance between us. It’s difficult to do at times, but absolutely necessary.

Distance between family members doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it means you love yourself just as much.

So today I’m healing my heart, finding some joy in my soul and forgiving them for doing it and forgiving myself for allowing it.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Taking Back Your Power With Forgiveness”

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power 1

It’s been a tough week. I was upset and heartbroken over the slanderous comments made on my website. And I was angry. I was angry that someone caused me to feel such strong, negative emotions.

After a day or two of constantly thinking about the “who” behind it all I remembered the lessons I have learned along this journey of life: in order to release the anger and hurt I was feeling I had to forgive them.

And when I forgave them I took back my power and control because I took away their forgiveability to hurt me. Allowing someone to upset you is giving them the power and control to do it, and trust me, they know that. They know that they “got to you” and they revel in it. They actually enjoy it. And they’ll keep doing it to you until you stop letting it get to you.

Listen, it’s a hard thing to forgive someone who hurt you. All I wanted to do in the last few days was to call her and talk it over. Yet while that sounds like a sensible answer to the problem, I knew deep down inside that it would provide her with the confirmation she wanted in the first place: that she got to me and she got my attention. It would have been confirmation to me that I allowed her to.

And I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give her the power and control over my life and my emotions just because they don’t have control over their own.

It’s sad to know that there are people like that in the world, yet this is why I write what I do. I try to change someone’s perspective on how they see the world; I try to show them that kindness is key; and I try to share the lessons I’ve learned on how to be the best person you can be. I share the lessons I’ve learned on forgiveness, on the importance of loving yourself, and that anything and everything you want in this life is possible if you believe in yourself.

Good things come from good energy and emotions. Negativity breeds negativity, and positivity breeds positivity.

I’m not out to change anyone. I write my life experiences to show others that there is always hope and that we can change if we want to. I try to share with others that I learned that when you want something in your life to change that that change begins with YOU.

I’m not about rules or telling anyone what to do. I’m just a girl who wants to make a positive impact on another person’s life, because if I can do that, there will be a positive impact on the people that surround them.

I took this unpleasant and hurtful experience and turned it into a lesson of strength. I used it to write what needs to be written: the truth. I used this pain and turned it into one of peace in my forgiveness towards them.

Those comments fueled the fire within me to stand up for myself and to stand in my truth. I know those comments about me were untrue and I never should have let them hurt me, yet the pain brought more: it made me stronger and even more determined to make a positive impact in the world.

This girl is on fire and my mission is to keep writing about kindness, respect, forgiveness and strength. I’m on fire to write about taking back the control and power that I had so easily given to someone else, because the truth is, we should NEVER give that away. Yet it happens by a comment or a hurtful action by another.

I’ve learned that the next time that happens I will stand in my truth and not allow them to cause me any negative feelings. No one will ever take away my power again and I will be diligent in keeping my emotions and my life in MY control.

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult, yet most powerful tools we can use. Forgiveness will free YOU from the negative feelings that someone caused you. Forgiveness will give you peace in knowing that you let it go…and hopefully, you let THEM go as well.

Wish them love and light and pray for their own healing…and then drop it.

Move forward.

Never let anyone steal your power and control. Never let them know they caused you the pain that they had hoped they would.

Forgive them.

Forget them.

And remember, no one can hurt you unless you let them.

From this day forward, this girl is on fire and I won’t stop until I’ve made the difference in this world that I hope and want to make.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~