“You’re More Than You Believe You Are”

You go through life as a wife, a mother, a husband, lover, and the title of the career you have, yet sometimes we forget who we are. I’m not one to “label” myself or anyone else, but the truth of the matter is: we are who we are.

And we shouldn’t limit ourselves to being just one thing; we should embrace all that we are.

And we are so much more than we believe we are.

And a few days ago I was reminded of the person I love to be: a writer.

Life can get busy and as you know, I’ve spent much of the last month on vacation, on location, and spending time with my kids. I’ve done some writing but not as much as I would have liked.

I’m still in the throws of cleaning my flooded basement and getting some rest from endless weeks of traveling. Laundry is getting behind the eight ball and dishes are piling in the sink. The refrigerator needs to be refilled and doctors appointments need to made.

And then something important happened…

I had a lunch meeting with a client I’m ghostwriting for.

And I was reminded of something I love to be: a writer.

And it was an incredible feeling.

I felt reborn and back on track. I felt energized and ready to create and write.

Throughout our meeting of note taking, working, talking, and organizing, he said one thing to me that made all the difference in the world: “I leave this all up to you, after all, you’re the writer.”

Really? I am? I know I’m a mom, a significant other, a friend, daughter and sister, but a writer?

Well, sir, yes I am!

It’s not that I forget that I’m a writer but I forget how it FEELS to be a writer and that feeling is one of passion. I forgot how the passion feels, how incredible it feels, and how awesome it is to be doing what I love to do every single day of my life: WRITE!

I was exhausted after all the traveling and cleaning in the last few weeks, but today I felt rejuvenated. All that tired energy left my body and I felt as though a very high energy replaced it…and I’m so grateful that it did.

Sometimes we all need a reminder of that feeling of doing what we’re passionate about.

Sometimes we need to be reminded that we’re so much more than we believe we are.

I’m grateful for that meeting.

I’m grateful to be able to write every day.

And I’m grateful to remember what it feels like to be a WRITER!

Take a moment today to remember all that you are…because you are so much more than you believe you are!

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Photo courtesy of Rob Contreras

 

“Life As A Writer”

I’ve been writing all of my life, since the day I could hold a pencil in my hand and learn to spell. It’s something as natural to me as breathing. When I was a young child my stories were nothing more than a few sentences and a crayon drawing at the bottom of the page.

Through high school and college I could be found sitting on the beach like a Bohemian hippie, writing lyrics and poetry. There were nights you would find me in the hallway of my dorm, hot pot of instant coffee and me sitting against the wall with a notebook writing through the middle of the night while all the other college students were asleep.

During my marriage and raising children I began keeping a journal about my feelings of being a wife and mom. I wrote poetry and journal entries which would become short stories.

I was always writing something.

Yet until a few years ago whenever someone asked what I did I would say I’m a mom. I was a Sunday School teacher, a soccer mom, PTA mom, Cub Scout leader and a Brownie leader. There was never a mention of “I’m a writer.”

It’s funny how you can write and write your whole life and never say you were a writer.

Until my first book was published.

Well, even when it was published I still would say “I write books.”

It was my close high school friend, Rich, that said to me one day: “Why don’t you say what you are? You’re a writer. You’re a published author. You’re exactly what you wanted to be.”

Wow…I never thought of myself as that.

And why?

There’s really no definitive answer “why” I never said it or thought it; I spent most of my life raising my kids, so to think of myself as someone other than that seemed like a foreign concept to me.

Yet the truth of the matter is that I AM a writer. I AM a published author. I AM a lyricist.

And I’m even more than that.

I’m a writer who uses her words to heal and help others and try and make a difference in the world.

Writing is a part of my everyday life and as much a part of me as breathing is.

And as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that I can use my writing to share my experiences with others; to help them through a difficult time; to let them know they’re not alone.

Writing is my voice that I want to be heard.

Writing is my heart reaching out to love the world.

Writing is my soul that shares it passion.

Writing is my passion and my dream come true.

Writing is the one way I know to reach out to people. It’s my way of helping, sharing and making a difference in one life and one day, I hope, the world.

My name is Anne Dennish.

And I’m a writer.

And it’s a very good thing…for me.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“The Lesson In Disappointment”

A week from today I was supposed to fly to California. It’s a trip I’ve been looking forward to ever since I booked my flight over a month ago. Aside from my “happy place” at the Jersey Shore where I live, Malibu is my other “happy place.” The energy there is amazing and for some reason, I feel like I’m “home” when I’m there. Two years ago I spent a week in a Malibu beach house where I finished my book, “Waking Up.” I did some of my best writing there and it was an intense soul searching time for me as well. This trip was important to me, not only because I’d be in a place I love, but because I’d be seeing my oldest son (who I haven’t seen in over a year), my Nike Nephews and would be writing and working on another book.

Over the last few days my intuition was screaming to me: “It’s not the time to go.” And that thought stuck in my head for days. My sister called me two days ago and said that she had a bad feeling about me going and that I should go another time. She also told me to remember what I always say: Everything happens for a reason. And if there’s one thing I believe in with all my heart and one I tell others is this: trust your intuition because it never lies.

So yesterday morning I had to make an adult, big girl, responsible, smart decision…and they’re not the most fun to make. I cancelled my trip. And to say I was disappointed is an understatement, yet I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. There were too many factors popping up in the last week and I knew days ago that I would have to decide whether to go or not. I don’t like when things get complicated and this trip was beginning to get more and more complicated.

I went to the hairdresser in the morning feeling disappointed and sad and I ran errands feeling disappointed and sad. Those feelings stuck with me all day, yet once I was in the comfort of my home the tears came. The tears started late in the afternoon and continued until I fell asleep. They came in waves over dinner, and came as sobs during my bath. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears; I felt sad, disappointed and broken and I kept wondering “Why did this happen to me?”

And then the answers came through the questions in the tears: because you needed to learn something….and I did.

I remembered what it is I always tell people, and when I heard Elizabeth Gilbert say it I had confirmation that it’s true: set your priorities, make boundaries around your sacred space, and learn to say no.

And that’s true…and I know that, yet I forgot that.

My lesson was that I had lost sight of my priorities, I was allowing people to cross my boundaries, and I was saying “yes” to things I should have been saying “no” to.

So yes, I had a day of sadness and disappointment, of feeling broken, but I knew I had to go through it and get through it and I did. My soul needed to cry long and hard to let go of what I was feeling.

I sit here this morning with a headache and swollen eyes, yet knowing I learned a lesson the hard way…and an important lesson at that.

My point to you is don’t feel badly for having a down day; they happen for a reason and that reason, more often than not, teaches you something that’s for your Highest Good. Sometimes it’s those “dark” days that enable us to see the “light.” Feel what you have to, learn the lesson, and let it go.

Sometimes our biggest disappointments teach us our greatest lessons.

And I’m good with that.

Because this is life…

And it’s a part of the journey. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“The Life Of A Writer”

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I love being a writer. It’s crazy, it’s enlightening, it’s therapeutic; it’s living a life on fire with a passion for words; a passion for observing the world; a passion for love, life, and the people in it. It’s waking up at 3 in the morning  and coming to life with a story in your head; it’s nights of waking up during a good nights sleep with the next chapter; it’s constant thinking, wondering and figuring it all out.

It’s a 24 hour a day job, 7 days a week; the only days off are the one’s in which you don’t write, but you’re writing in your head even when you’re not writing on the computer or paper.

It’s finding a story in every conversation you have; in every person you talk to during the course of a day; and in every social event you attend.

It’s endless notebooks and journals of notes, of titles, of thoughts, of words.

It’s always “remembering something so you never forget.”

It’s always analyzing a situation to figure out the lesson or the message.

It’s always wondering “why” and “how” and “what if?”

It’s always wondering about your past that led you to your present that will take you into your future.

It’s always wondering what your dreams meant and why certain thoughts enter your mind at the oddest of moments and hours of the day.

And it’s always wondering about the title of the next story, the next book, the next blog, the next post…and so on.

It’s a mind that never turns off, slows down, takes a break, or stops thinking.

It’s a mind that’s forever listening, forever wondering, forever seeing the endless possibilities in every minute of every day, in every person you speak to, of every experience, of every lesson, of everything…everything!

It’s listening to different genres of music that pertain to your different moods; sad music for pity party days, upbeat music for when you’re feeling great!

It’s feeling all the emotions that life hands you and loving each and every one of them. You love the sad, the joy, the happy, the heartache because a writer knows that every emotion is a gift, and each gift becomes the words to a beautiful story or poem or lyric.

Writers flourish under pressure and under pain…our best writing comes from the deepest of pain. We hold onto it until we turn it into something beautiful; it’s at that moment that we can finally let it go.

It’s feeling the pain in the world and turning it into a beautiful words of hope, faith and encouragement.

It’s feeling the joy in the world and turning it into a motivational story of endless possibilities.

Writer’s feel it all; we accept it all; and we love it all because no matter the emotion, negative or positive, sad or happy, we’re able to embrace it, live it, feel it, learn from it and write about it.

And then we move on…

But not a moment before…

There are those in my life that tell me I hold onto things too long, to just “let it go,” but as a writer, I can’t. It’s not in my nature nor is it in my soul. It’s not how I’m wired or how I was born. It’s nothing I can change and I wouldn’t want to try. It’s who I am…body and soul, mind and heart.

Feeling pain is something I’ve grown accustomed to. Life happens and even pain and heartache happens to a writer. How else could we write what we do? Pleasure is born out of pain; happiness is born out of heartache; joy is born out of sorrow. So why would we not feel these emotions? It’s our feelings that give us focus, give us answers and clarity, and most importantly, it’s our feelings that give us the “words!”

Writer’s are built on words.

We are great communicators.

We are intuitive…and insightful…and pay way more attention to detail than the average person. We listen, we hear, we process, and we write.

We live everyday to its’ fullest, whether we’re sad or happy, whether you believe it or not. We don’t see feeling heartache or pain as a waste of time; and we don’t see joy and happiness as time better served. We see it all as life…our life…your life…and we value all of it as precious time.

For me, “when my heart speaks I listen, and then I write.”

And that’s the truth.

My stories begin in my heart and soul; they are cultivated through my tears and heartache; they are polished by my joy and happiness; and they are written by the words of my truth.

If the eyes are the window to the soul, my writing is the window into “me.”

If you’re not a writer you’ll never understand, and why would you?

We writer’s are dreamers, and most of the “real” world thinks we’re crazy; obsessed; and a little weird. They think we’re constantly pursuing a dream we’ll never catch yet we believe differently. We believe in our dreams and in ourselves; we are born out of this obsession to achieve the dreams, no matter the cost; and yes, maybe we’re a bit weird because we know that what we dream, what we write and what we feel is reality: it’s the reality of a writer.

I love the life of being a writer; it’s crazy, it’s exhausting, it’s painful, and it’s simply amazing.

I am Anne Dennish…

I’m a writer, a dreamer and a poet…

I’m aware of my surroundings and all the people in it…

I’m a talker and a listener…

I’m your friend, your family and your lover…

I’m your mom and your mentor…

I’m all these things because…

I’m a writer.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Photos by Tim McGeough – EVNFlo Photography

“Lost In Your Life”

 

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Every so often life throws us a curveball, one which we didn’t see coming. And suddenly we find ourselves feeling lost, feeling that we can’t get a handle on something, and feeling out of control with our emotions.

I understand those feelings well, and the situations that cause them happen unexpectedly and without warning. Just when our life is going smoothly and we’re moving forward we find ourselves in the middle of a storm of emotions that we don’t know how to handle.

And we suddenly find ourselves standing still and feeling stuck.

So what do you do when this happens? How do you “get a handle” on everything happening around you?

You stop for a moment and breathe.

You may feel as though the world around you is spinning out of control, yet you need to understand that it is “life” happening, whether it’s good or bad. Life is happening to teach you a lesson or change your perspective. Life is happening because that’s what “life” does. It moves forward, whether you’re ready or not, and it can be filled with both happiness and sadness. And that is life.

Those unexpected curveballs leave you feeling lost and out of control, feeling as though you can’t get a handle on what’s going on around and within you. But you can, and I can promise you that you will…it just takes time.

And it takes looking at the happiness that surrounds you. Look around at  those that love you and care for you; look at the person who is always there for you, through good and bad; look at the big picture of your life and be grateful for it. Don’t lose sight of the important people in your life: embrace them and be grateful to have them. They are the ones who will be there when you’re feeling lost and out of control. They are the ones you can lean on for support and love. They are the ones who love you unconditionally.

“Feeling lost” doesn’t last forever; in fact, I’ve found that the times I felt most lost were the times I was actually finding myself.

Be kind to yourself during these moments in your life and let those that love you help you through. Everything will be alright.

I promise.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

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“There’s Strength In The Tears”

I’ve had many people tell me how strong I am and I always wondered why they thought that. After all, I had bad days, sad days, and days of crying for no reason and every reason. Was this being strong? I didn’t think so until a few years ago when I changed my perspective on tears and what they meant.

Tears are our soul’s way of releasing the pain, the pleasure and the emotion built up within us. Tears cleanse our soul of those feelings so that we can again move on with our life. Tears are simply a moment in time that was necessary for our Highest Good.strength and tears

My cousin is a strong woman, the one I call “the gypsy.” I’ve seen her cry and heard her ask me how people could think she was so strong? Well, a few years ago I would have given her a different answer, but on that day I told her she was strong, especially since she knew that there were moments when she knew she had to cry, and she was strong enough to allow herself to cry.

I believe that your strength is in knowing yourself well enough to know that you have to shed a tear or two, or a thousand. Your strength is allowing yourself the time it takes to release your emotions and knowing that you need to do this for yourself.

And your strength is picking yourself up, wiping the tears from your face, and moving forward. Your strength is knowing that you’ve released all that you needed to for that moment and knew it was time to smile again.

That is strength.

Strength is knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and willing to be who you are despite the opinions of anyone else.

Strength is knowing when you need a day to cry, to feel emotions, to miss someone, to want someone, to lose someone. Your strength is within you and the tears you release are merely the soul’s way of helping you through your pain and sadness.

Cry if you need to and cry if you want to… after all, “it won’t be like this forever, just for today!”

And after you’re done, smile, smile, smile!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Knee Deep In Writing”

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I’ve been knee deep in finishing up my next book, “My Collective Soul, Things I Know Without Knowing Why.” It’s been long days and nights of writing for 14 hours followed by a day of recuperating from it all. It’s been nights of “take out” for dinner and spending time with Rob and the kids during one of my hourly five minute breaks.

And I love every minute of it.

I love the writing for hours and hours, the pushing myself late into the night even though I’m exhausted, and I love the pressure of having a deadline.

I love getting up in the wee hours of the morning, putting on my headset and sitting down at the laptop with my coffee to begin the process all over again.

This kind of exhaustion is exciting because I’m doing what I love and what I know I’m meant to do: write!

I know that life has been a bit different in our house. The normal tasks of laundry and cleaning are on the back burner at the moment; the time of relaxing and watching television with Rob are limited; and my kids have become used to saying good-bye in the morning to me while I’m sitting with my headset on and writing and they’re used to coming home and seeing me the same way.marketing ventuers 4

And they’re all okay with this. They love and support me through this time right now and I hope they know how much that means to me. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without their understanding and support.

I couldn’t do any of this without the support of my closest friends and Rob’s family, who have become my family. They keep me going when I’m exhausted and are there to answer the phone if I need to talk to them. Those phone calls help to get me back in balance and are the encouragement I need at the moment I need it.

The new book is just about ready to go to my publisher, Morissa Schwartz, owner of GenZ Publishing. She believed in me and was willing to take me on as one of her authors, marketing ventures 2and for that I’m grateful.

And in the middle of all this writing are meetings and phone calls from my marketing team, Marketing Ventures. Jill, Jennifer and Lora are amazing and are making dreams come true for me. They’ve gifted me with opportunities I never thought possible and they’re still working at gifting me with more! I’m grateful to them for all their hard work at promoting me. It’s growing into more than a business agreement between us; it’s growing into a friendship. It’s a beautiful thing.

And that’s what my life has been like lately. It’s filled with everything I love, and while mentally exhausted, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

My dreams are coming true day by day and I’m glad that I never gave up on them. There were times things weren’t working the way I wanted, yet I knew everything would work out when it was meant to.

Sometimes our best dreams don’t go the way we want; they turn into “better” dreams that we never could have imagined.

You can’t give up.

You have to remember that “everything happens as it should, when it should, and how it should.”

I’m living proof that it does.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Just a “typical” marketing business meeting with Jill and Jennifer!

“My Voice Is In My Writing”

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There’s so much in my heart right now and so many thoughts in my head. I want to talk to someone and let it all out, yet it seems lately that no one wants to listen. No one wants to hear my thoughts and feelings, no one wants to hear my truth. I need to ramble, to vent, to let it all out, yet it’s all tucked inside me and it’s driving me crazy.

Talking to someone is my way of figuring things out; what I’m feeling, what I’m thinking and why. Talking helps me to get it out and hear it in a new perspective; talking to someone allows them to be a gift that I need at times: a different perspective or a voice of reason.

Yet no one is listening and I find myself literally drowning in my own thoughts, in my own heartache. I find myself feeling alone and unable to feel love or happiness. Losing two loved ones in a short amount of time last month had a profound affect on me. I always appreciate each new day that life has to offer, yet when a life is suddenly taken and you’re not ready for it and didn’t see it coming, it certainly changes you.

And it changed me.

I’m sure the changes are temporary, but lately I’m not sure…I’m not sure of anything. What I need most right now is a listening ear and someone who can allow me the time to heal, the time to figure this all out, and who can do it with love and compassion.

I’m a strong person and I’ve been through worse than this, but something is different this time and I can’t seem to put my finger on it. I’m a spiritual person who understands death and knows that all these emotions are simply things coming to the surface; that this was all meant to happen this way and at this time.

There’s a lesson coming from all of it and I know I can’t rush it along. I know I need to be patient and realize that this journey I’m on now is leading me to another chapter in my life, one that will be different and better.

I know  in my heart that it’s not just the loss of two loved ones that is causing this; it’s so much bigger than that and so much more.

I’m standing outside of myself as a spectator, observing all that is and isn’t in my life right now. I’m understanding that I have put so much time and effort in to loving those in my life that I forgot to love myself as well. And I know to my toes that in order for someone to love me the way I need to be loved, I have to love myself that way first.

One of the greatest blessings of being a writer is just this: that when my voice can’t be heard, it can be read in what I write. When no one wants to listen to me, someone may want to read about me. My words are my heart and soul, whether they’re spoken or written, yet I know they need to speak out loud.

But they can’t.

Not right now.

Not until someone thinks I’m worthy and important enough to listen to, and not until I know that I am.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“On The Outside Looking In”

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There are times in my life when I feel like I’m on the outside looking in and I know in my heart that it’s okay to feel that way, because:

“Sometimes you need to step outside of your life in order to see what’s inside of it”.

Do you ever find yourself getting lost in the midst of your day to day routine? Getting lost among your loved ones, finding yourself wondering who you are anymore? Are you a mom, a wife, a “life partner?” And where are “you?” Where did you go?

It’s not a conscious decision to be on the outside. It just happens. One day you wake up and don’t feel like yourself; you feel like you’re “on the outside looking in.” At least for me that’s how it happens. And there’s no time frame for it; you feel that way for as long as it takes to see and learn what you need to, and it could be a day or two, or longer.

Sometimes amidst the routine of loving and caring for my nearest and dearest I suddenly find myself wondering where I went to…where am I in all this. It seems like everything is about everybody else, but not me.

I feel like no one notices me unless they need something, and tempers are shortened when I’m not doing what I should be…for them. I spoiled them by doing it all, and I love doing it all, but I also love being loved and cared for by THEM. I want them to spoil me just a bit, I want them to notice my feelings, I want them to reassure me of their love and commitment to me as much as I do to them. I don’t want to be taken for granted.

Yet on the other hand, I believe that being on the “outside” is most often times the only way we can observe our life; it’s the one way we can be objective by looking in from the outside at each person and each situation; it’s the best way we can see what is or isn’t and learn from it.

It’s the best way to see ourselves objectively.

And that’s when the lessons are learned.

We observe the behavior of others towards us; we see how they’re treating us and how we’re reacting to it. We see what the truth of our relationships are and what they aren’t. We see our strengths and our weaknesses, and we can see whether or not we’re speaking our truth.

Often times we find ourselves on the outside when we’re holding too much inside; we’re not speaking our truth for fear of the outcome. It’s that fear thing holding us back and keeping us on the outside.

I’m looking from the outside at all the excitement everyone around me is having; new adventures, exciting opportunities, and movement, yet I’m not a part of it. I’m here, in a life of laundry and cooking, responsibility and reality.

I’m looking at this girl I once knew who had one adventure after another, more excitement than she knew what to do, and an appetite for life and all it had to offer. Life slowed down on her, and she stepped back and she stepped into solitude; the woman who’s life revolves around every one else’s became invisible to those she loved most.

Yet, it was her fault. She allowed it, she contributed to it, and by not speaking her truth, those around her never knew how she was feeling. She had hoped that they would; but they didn’t. And I guess in the end,  it doesn’t matter, because that’s what being on the outside is about, and she knows that it’s up to her to get back to the inside.

So, here I sit on the outside, observing, making decisions, and making big changes. I want those adventures again; I want to feel the excitement of my passion again; I want to be me again.

And so I will. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even being on the outside, and once I  get back to the inside I feel that my life will be even better than it is now.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

outside looking in