My friend, Peg, called me the other day to ask my opinion about a situation. She was feeling hurt over someone crossing her boundaries and in seeing the truth of them: that what she thought them to be wasn’t really who they were. She asked me how to get past that emotion of feeling hurt and betrayed.
I thought about it for a moment and came up with this analogy, one which I hope helps everyone.
Picture your life as a bubble and you’re in the center. Let’s say you’re only allowed 10 people in there with you. If you have 6 positive people and 4 negative in there then it’s full…there are no seats left for any other positive people to get in. Your bubble is full to capacity.
I can’t tell anyone enough that it is your decision of who you allow in your bubble, and you should always love yourself enough to want to surround yourself with positive people: people who are loyal to you, have your back, love and respect you, lift you up, support you, and more importantly, are honest with you. You want to keep your “vibe in the tribe” as positive as possible, because negativity breeds negativity and you don’t want an epidemic of that in your bubble!
So, when you realize there’s some negative people in that bubble and you want more positive people taking their place, do the math. You need to end your relationships with the negative people, wish them love and light, be grateful for the lessons they taught you, and move forward. And when you do that, hard as it may be, you’ve just opened a few more seats up in your bubble and have made room for the positive people to come in.
We all find ourselves in this situation now and again, yet it’s important to understand that these experiences happen to teach us a lesson about ourselves. Each of us has the control of who we allow in our bubble and each of us had a choice of keeping it positive or allowing the negative to take up residence.
Who do you have in your bubble? Is the vibe in your tribe a positive one? Are there more negative than positive people in there with you?
Only you know the answer to those questions and only you can choose what’s best for you.
Think about it.
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I want to give you something to think about: all the countless hours you spend working for a living are all the countless hours you’ve lost with the people you love…and you will never get that time back again.
I’m blessed to have a career that allows me to work at home, and believe me when I say that it’s work but it’s work that I love. Yet I will never get so busy writing, editing, marketing or making phone calls that I forget to make time with the ones I love. My career would mean nothing to me if that were the case. I love the time I spend writing, but I love my time with the important people in my life much more.
I’ve worked 9-5 jobs throughout my life, yet I still held to one important fact: I love my job (most of the time) but I love my life and the people in it much more. It’s a balancing act; it’s a time to say “no” to overtime; a time to decide what and who your priority is: the job or your life and the people in it. I’ve always chosen the people in my life because I realized that neither the job nor the people in my life will always be there, so I had to choose which was more important…and that was the “people,” never the job.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell you where this story came from and it comes from a place of love.It’s a tough position for me to be in, yet being the person I am, I needed to figure out a way to explain my feelings and more importantly, how this situation was looking to me and to the outside world.
So I realized what the most important part of this was: the person I care about was losing precious time to someone who didn’t care about him and he was giving his time away to someone who didn’t deserve it; and all that time was given in vain and he will never get that time back again, not with me, his friends, or his family.
It was born from an experience from me watching someone I care about work more hours than he was meant to, deserved to, or wanted to. He kept telling his “boss” that he was exhausted and needed a day off, yet his boss didn’t seem to care; he wanted what he wanted and he got it. This person worked every weekend he was off and he’s worked on every day that he was supposed to be off; he’s worked more overtime than was necessary because the other employees in the office didn’t want to do the work. I have to admit, this was upsetting to me; no one wants to watch someone they care about worn down and beaten into submission to do what someone else wanted them to do; no one wants to be spending time with the one they care about on a weekend together with the phone constantly spitting out text noises from a boss who wants more and more and can’t leave them alone; no one wants to watch someone they care about feel less of who they are because of someone who feels more of who they are by using their power and position to feel “in control.”
I’ve lost so many people I’ve loved over the past few years, and while I know they’re at peace now, I so wish I had had more time with them.
And that’s the point I’m making by writing this article: be mindful of the person you spend your precious time on and with and be mindful of the people you take it away from.
As we get older we understand more and more how precarious and unpredictable life really is; we learn to appreciate how short and precious life really is.
Take a look at your life; take a look at your job; take a look at your time…
Take a look at the most important people in your life who love and respect you…
Take a look at the people you allow to feel more important than they are…
Decide who you want to spend your precious time with…
Decide who you want to give that time to…
Decide who you don’t want to give that time to…
The choice is yours as to where and who you spend your time with…
Please think about it, be mindful and choose it wisely because wasted time on the wrong people is time that is lost on the right people for a lifetime.
And no one should live with regret over having spent time with anything or anyone that is less important than the people who are.
Shower the people you love with love…
And don’t worry about the one’s you don’t.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I’ll be honest, “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert is one of my favorite movies and I can watch it over and over again and still find something else to learn from her journey. I’d like to share some of the things I’ve learned from it with you and will be sharing my favorite quotes with you.
This one rings true all the time, that we need to learn how to select our thoughts as carefully as we select our clothes, or anything else for that matter. We have the power to control what we’re thinking. We have the power to think positive thoughts or negative ones. We have the power and the control…and it truly is a process we can cultivate.
It’s difficult at times to do, even for me, yet I have to find that quiet space in my mind to stop and remind myself that my thoughts will dictate my day and my life. And it can affect those around me. I remind myself to breathe in, breathe out, and cultivate my thoughts into something positive.
Give it a try…it works!
It’s a good thing. 
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle…stand in your truth and let it light you up on the inside and shine on the outside!
“Don’t be someone’s slogan because you are poetry.” ~Sandra Bullock~
It’s your choice to be poetry or settle for being a slogan…I choose “poetry!” I hope you do, too!
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
It’s been a tough week. I was upset and heartbroken over the slanderous comments made on my website. And I was angry. I was angry that someone caused me to feel such strong, negative emotions.
After a day or two of constantly thinking about the “who” behind it all I remembered the lessons I have learned along this journey of life: in order to release the anger and hurt I was feeling I had to forgive them.
And when I forgave them I took back my power and control because I took away their 
ability to hurt me. Allowing someone to upset you is giving them the power and control to do it, and trust me, they know that. They know that they “got to you” and they revel in it. They actually enjoy it. And they’ll keep doing it to you until you stop letting it get to you.
Listen, it’s a hard thing to forgive someone who hurt you. All I wanted to do in the last few days was to call her and talk it over. Yet while that sounds like a sensible answer to the problem, I knew deep down inside that it would provide her with the confirmation she wanted in the first place: that she got to me and she got my attention. It would have been confirmation to me that I allowed her to.
And I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give her the power and control over my life and my emotions just because they don’t have control over their own.
It’s sad to know that there are people like that in the world, yet this is why I write what I do. I try to change someone’s perspective on how they see the world; I try to show them that kindness is key; and I try to share the lessons I’ve learned on how to be the best person you can be. I share the lessons I’ve learned on forgiveness, on the importance of loving yourself, and that anything and everything you want in this life is possible if you believe in yourself.
Good things come from good energy and emotions. Negativity breeds negativity, and positivity breeds positivity.
I’m not out to change anyone. I write my life experiences to show others that there is always hope and that we can change if we want to. I try to share with others that I learned that when you want something in your life to change that that change begins with YOU.
I’m not about rules or telling anyone what to do. I’m just a girl who wants to make a positive impact on another person’s life, because if I can do that, there will be a positive impact on the people that surround them.
I took this unpleasant and hurtful experience and turned it into a lesson of strength. I used it to write what needs to be written: the truth. I used this pain and turned it into one of peace in my forgiveness towards them.
Those comments fueled the fire within me to stand up for myself and to stand in my truth. I know those comments about me were untrue and I never should have let them hurt me, yet the pain brought more: it made me stronger and even more determined to make a positive impact in the world.
This girl is on fire and my mission is to keep writing about kindness, respect, forgiveness and strength. I’m on fire to write about taking back the control and power that I had so easily given to someone else, because the truth is, we should NEVER give that away. Yet it happens by a comment or a hurtful action by another.
I’ve learned that the next time that happens I will stand in my truth and not allow them to cause me any negative feelings. No one will ever take away my power again and I will be diligent in keeping my emotions and my life in MY control.
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult, yet most powerful tools we can use. Forgiveness will free YOU from the negative feelings that someone caused you. Forgiveness will give you peace in knowing that you let it go…and hopefully, you let THEM go as well.
Wish them love and light and pray for their own healing…and then drop it.
Move forward.
Never let anyone steal your power and control. Never let them know they caused you the pain that they had hoped they would.
Forgive them.
Forget them.
And remember, no one can hurt you unless you let them.
From this day forward, this girl is on fire and I won’t stop until I’ve made the difference in this world that I hope and want to make.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
If you’ve been following my latest blogs then you’ll understand this story. Last weekend someone made a comment on one of my blogs. It was hurtful and untrue. As I looked at the IP address I realized that it belonged to the same person that did the same thing to me in August, commenting on me personally rather than on my writing.
My heart sank on Saturday morning when I saw a degrading comment about “me.” I traced the IP address to the vicinity of where it came from and realized that it was from the same one back in August, and sadly, it’s someone I know.
I appreciate and welcome any comments about my writing…I appreciate comments to tell me how I can be a better writer. I don’t take offense at construction criticism about my writing, but I do take offense to being publicly slandered about “who” someone says I am. And I’m hurt to know it’s someone I know and that “someone” knows I’m not anything that they said I was. My character was defamed, my reputation slandered. And I was hurt because I couldn’t understand, let alone wrap my head around why this person would do that to me.
Yet something made them do it and it hurt. They hid behind false names and false email addresses, yet an IP address doesn’t lie. I knew who it was.
Some may say I took the comment too personally, yet I felt slightly threatened and definitely slandered. Since the comment was made public on my website, I’ll share it with you:
Patty Kastner commented on “Stay Out Of My Bubble”
Did it ever occur to you that you reflect all that you are, that perhaps you create all these situations because of your own self loathing?
You seem to gave a central theme in all your blogs that portray you as a victim, not as an enlightened, loving spiritual being. Good luck on your “project” …looks like you have a lot of self work to do.
I deleted the other comments the moment I read them in August, but the theme and the tone were the same. It was a direct attack on me as a person, not me as a writer. It was the voice of someone who hated me and the life I’m living with my love, Rob. It was someone that is so angry with me that they wanted to publicly slander me.
And the truth is, I’m not any of those things. I’m not self-loathing and I definitely do not play a victim. I try and take all my experiences I’ve gone through, the good and the bad, and share them with others in the hope that I can help them through when there was no one to help me. I want to inspire and motivate people; I want to spread kindness and hope; I want to make a difference in the world and in another human beings life; I want to try and make the world a better place.
When I saw that comment on Saturday morning it felt as though someone punched me in the stomach. When I realized it was from the same person from months ago, my heart sank…because it was then I realized who it was.
I spoke to the police and knew what I could do, but then I thought about the rest of that family. They shouldn’t pay for that person’s feelings towards me. I was angry and I was hurt. Even as I write this I would love to sit down with this person and ask them why they did that to me. Why did they hate me so much?
And then I realized the answer: some people are so unhappy in their own lives that they take it out on others; they want what someone else has and if they can’t have it, they’ll try and ruin it; they’re jealous, they’re insecure and they’re lost souls with no direction. They don’t understand that they can have all those things on their own but they can’t or won’t because they don’t love themselves, don’t respect themselves, and would rather play the martyr than to do the work on themselves to have the best life they can have.
I’m not angry anymore because I forgave them. I had to. Holding onto the anger keeps it alive and gives that person and what they did control and power over me, and I won’t have it. So I decided to forgive them, and let go of the anger. I didn’t call them or let them know I forgive them, I forgave them for ME! And once I did that I realized that there was no more anger, and by forgiving them I took back my power and my control.
Today I forgave them but I’ll never forget the three comments they wrote about me. I’ll forgive them but I’ll never forget what they said. Never.
And now you know why I am on a mission of spreading the word to all of you to be kind to one another.
The world will never get better with hate and jealousy, but there’s a good chance it will change with kindness.
One step at a time…
One random act of kindness at a time…
One person being kind to another…
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I’m on a roll this week about kindness. Last week I was the target of people being incredibly “unkind” to me. It saddens me to know that people can be that way, yet we’re all wired differently.
Kindness is free. It doesn’t cost any money and it doesn’t cost a lot of time. In fact, being kind to someone else actually gives a gift back to you: it makes you feel good that you made someone else feel good by being kind to them.
Yet there are those that choose not to be kind; they choose to be mean and hurtful. They
choose to judge you without knowing who you. And some choose to be mean because they do know you and want what you have: in other words, they’re jealous. Or they’re insecure. Or they just want to be mean because they hate you.
I try to spread kindness wherever and to whomever I can. I love to make someone smile, or feel better, or laugh out loud! I love to be there with a listening ear and shoulder to cry on if someone needs me. I love to sit with someone who doesn’t want to be alone.
But someone was mean to me last week. They wrote things about me that weren’t true. They hid behind a false name and email address. They couldn’t say those things to me in person because they didn’t have the courage to do so; they are a coward.
They are mean. They are unkind. They are hurtful.
And they must be one sad soul to want to hurt someone else.
I forgive them for what they did, and I can only do that so I don’t stay angry. But I will never forget what they said and did.
I believe in my heart that if everyone in the world was kind we’d be living in a much different world.
Be kind, share random acts of kindness to others, and be kind in the things you say.
Kindness can change the world.
As I always say: “It’s time to make a difference and we can make a difference together.”
Let’s start that difference today…
And let’s keep it going every day.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I’m up much earlier than usual and the moment my eyes opened, my mind was filled with a million and one thoughts. The last seven days have been filled with a whirlwind of emotions, from happiness and contentment to sadness and heartache. Last night the proverbial “black cloud” lifted, yet this morning all I can think of is: Why did this happen and what does it all mean?
I’d like to say that I didn’t see it coming, although what I didn’t see were the exact situations coming, yet as an empath and intuitive person, I knew something wasn’t right. I could feel something “not so good” coming soon. I didn’t know my exact emotions or what or who would be involved, but I felt an uneasiness down to my toes. I knew that something was going to happen…and it did.
No matter the feelings I was experiencing, I went on with my life as usual. I felt content and happy, yet no matter how much writing, cooking or mindless tasks filled my day, the feeling was still there. And it all blew and came to a head a week ago. Each situation happened without warning and I was blindsided as to “what the hell happened.” I knew I didn’t do anything terrible, although my habit of talking too much and repeating things certainly didn’t help. Yet still, I knew all of this wasn’t caused by me.
So there I was, caught in the middle of the madness, in the middle of not understanding “why,” and in the middle of emotions and situations caused by outside forces. In other words, toxic people and negative energy got in. They got into my happy little bubble and caused pain, heartache and sadness. But how do you keep all of those negative things out of “your bubble?”
I used to despise the word “bubble.” I’ve written about “life in a bubble” years ago, and never portrayed it as a positive thing. You see, during my second marriage my “then husband” became jealous, suspicious, negative, controlling and toxic. He watched my every move, both in and out of the house, listened to every phone call I made, and broke into my emails and social media accounts. I hated it because I wasn’t doing anything wrong; it was all in his mind. The marriage ended sooner than it began and I used to say “I can’t stand being in this bubble he put me in.” And at that time, the phrase fit. I was in a bubble of all negative things and I was drowning.
I don’t see it that way anymore, and that’s because throughout all the years that have passed since that time, I’ve grown as a person, understood my emotions and myself more, and have been on an incredible spiritual path…one of learning and understanding. I learned to surround myself with positive people and to keep my distance from the toxic ones and the dark and heavy energy that hung onto them. I began to see my life as “a bubble,” yet it wasn’t a bubble of control, it was a bubble of safety. It wasn’t a bubble that kept me a prisoner, but one that kept my loved ones and me safe. It was a bubble filled with love and joy, happiness and peace; a bubble filled with good people and positive energy; it was a bubble filled with all things best for my Highest Good.
Some may call it their “circle” around them; I choose “my bubble.”
Last night the black cloud lifted and this morning I find myself feeling a bit more at peace, yet I know that there’s work to be done, questions to be answered, and healing to begin.
You see, outside influences can sneak in to our minds, causing us anger, frustration and pain. These influences can come in the form of a job, a boss, a co-worker, a friend, a family member, or they come in as what they are: toxic, negative, and filled with dark energy. We begin to feel all these negative emotions because of them and release all that dark stuff onto those around us: those they live in the bubble with us.
It’s human behavior and sometimes life sneaks up on us and takes control where control isn’t needed or wanted.
We are in control of what we allow and what we feel, yet when we allow outside influences to affect our relationships in our life, trust me, there will be a reaction, and not usually the one you want.
I couldn’t understand where all the anger was coming from because it wasn’t coming from me, yet after a week of it the truth came out: an outside influence got in. My peace came from knowing the “truth.”
Surround yourself with all that is good; keep all your relationships strong with love and joy; speak and feel your truth and share it with those you love when it becomes overwhelming to you. Build your “bubble” with love, joy, happiness, truth, peace and most importantly: positive energy and positive people.
And last but not least, to all of you outside influences that are nothing but negative and toxic, I have but one thing to say to you: “STAY OUT OF MY BUBBLE!”
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Anne Dennish - Writer/Author 