“How A Heart Breaks”

 

breaking a heart

We’ve all had our hearts broken a time or two in this lifetime and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: it doesn’t suddenly break. It’s takes time to break it.

And do you know why a heart breaks?

It’s because someone has been chipping away at it over and over again.

And when most of the heart has been chipped away there’s not much left to hold it together and one day it breaks altogether.

And it can and will never be repaired to the heart it once was. Only the broken hearted can heal their heart and in time, their heart will heal and be stronger than the heart that had been broken.

There’s all type of abuse out there but nothing will chip away at a heart more than verbal and emotional abuse. Those are the worst and I know it for fact because I’ve been the person on the other side of it more times than I can count. It’s a difficult and long process to heal, but it is possible, because I’ve done it, and I’ve done it more than once.

I’m going to be honest about this subject because I can speak from personal experience.

Words and actions hurt. They chip away at a heart that loves someone so much that they allow it to happen, at least until the day they’ve had enough. And the day that happens is long after the heart has been chipped away at until it breaks; that day is when that person gets strong and rebuilds their damaged heart.

And that is the day they’ve had enough.

It’s the day they’ve seen the truth of the person who treats them that way.

And it’s the day that they realize their value and we all have value. No one deserves to be treated badly, even the ones who treat others badly.

Love doesn’t hurt the heart; harsh words and behaviors do.

Words last forever.

The pain the words caused will never be forgotten.

And a once whole, happy, loving person will break apart.

Until they pick themselves up and put themselves back together.

There are some who don’t realize just how hurtful their words and actions can be to someone they love, especially when that person still sees good in them and still loves them. But the day will come after countless conversations between the two people of how badly they’ve been hurt and how much damage it causes to their heart…and to their soul.It’s the day the heart has been chipped away at over and over again that it breaks.

The good news is that a heart that breaks is proof that it works. It’s proof that you have a heart that loves with abandon, loves another with all that they are, and loves unconditionally. The bad news is that that kind of heart will break when the person they love doesn’t have the same kind of heart.

They have a heart that controls, a heart that can only love so much, and a heart that doesn’t know how to love unconditionally.

Hearts that have been chipped at over time will eventually break, but they also will be given the chance to heal into a stronger heart, a smarter heart, and a heart that knows what they deserve and what they don’t. And it will learn to never settle for less than what they deserve.

Choose your words carefully. Keep your bad day to yourself. Leave work at the office.

 Don’t take your frustrations out on another. And cherish the ones that love you unconditionally with a beautiful heart. Once you chip away at their heart enough you’ll break it, and while everything is forgivable, it’s very rarely repairable.

Remember that.

And ask yourself these very important questions: How would you feel if the person you love treated you the way you treat them? How would you feel if they chipped away at your heart? How would you feel if they were telling you that you were always wrong and that they were always right?

You are in control of your actions towards someone you love.

Choose your words carefully because once you’ve said them you can’t take them back.

It’s never too late to change.

And positive change is a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“Free Will”

I have a close circle of friends and there are moments I have to sit and wonder why they make the choices that they do. I know to my toes that it may not be their best choice, but they make it anyway.

And in all fairness, I bet they think the same thing about my choices.

We love who we love and we love the people in our tribe, yet there are moments that they’re handed a situation in which they have to make a choice…and sometimes those that love them sitting on the outside of it wonder why they chose the path that they did.

We may know that they’re making the wrong decision, but it’s at those moments that we need to step back and let them move forward with their choices, wrong or right.

And why?

Because it’s their “free will,” not ours.
And if we don’t let them lead their own life, make their own choices, and do what they think is right, then they’ll never learn a lesson that their life is about to hand them.

And that’s “free will.”

It’s allowing those we love the freedom to make their own choices, even if our intuition tells us that it’s wrong.

We learn life lessons by making mistakes and learning from them.

And if someone takes our free will away from us, then they’ve stolen a valuable moment in our life; they’ve taken away our right to make a choice, bad or not, and learn from it.

We may not always understand why the ones we love make the choices that they do, but a big part of loving them is respecting them enough to allow them their free will to do so.

We all want to protect those that are important to us, but if we don’t allow them to make their own choices and in some cases, mistakes, then we took away their right to learn and grow as a person.

The best thing we can do is be there for them if they should make a wrong choice and celebrate with them when they make the right choice.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

right or wrong

“Podcast 2 – What Kind Of Person Do You Want To Be?”

“Maybe It’s Not Your Door”

Life is filled with doors: doors to close and to open; doors that are right for us and those that are no; and doors from the past and doors to the future.

So often I hear people complain that the things they wanted in life weren’t going as planned; the job wasn’t working out, the relationship didn’t progress or that every dream they’re trying to catch ends up in rejection or less of what they had hoped.

Maybe you’re opening the wrong doors. Maybe the door you want to OPEN isn’t your door. And maybe you haven’t closed the doors to your past and made peace with it so that the doors to your future can open.

Don’t worry if a door you want to open doesn’t. It just means it’s “not your door.”

And trust me, the right door, YOUR door, is waiting for you…

After all, as I always say, “when one door closes, let the French doors open!”

It’s a good thing… 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

wrong door

“Taking Back Your Power With Forgiveness”

 

 

 

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It’s been a tough week. I was upset and heartbroken over the slanderous comments made on my website. And I was angry. I was angry that someone caused me to feel such strong, negative emotions.

After a day or two of constantly thinking about the “who” behind it all I remembered the lessons I have learned along this journey of life: in order to release the anger and hurt I was feeling I had to forgive them.

And when I forgave them I took back my power and control because I took away their forgiveability to hurt me. Allowing someone to upset you is giving them the power and control to do it, and trust me, they know that. They know that they “got to you” and they revel in it. They actually enjoy it. And they’ll keep doing it to you until you stop letting it get to you.

Listen, it’s a hard thing to forgive someone who hurt you. All I wanted to do in the last few days was to call her and talk it over. Yet while that sounds like a sensible answer to the problem, I knew deep down inside that it would provide her with the confirmation she wanted in the first place: that she got to me and she got my attention. It would have been confirmation to me that I allowed her to.

And I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give her the power and control over my life and my emotions just because they don’t have control over their own.

It’s sad to know that there are people like that in the world, yet this is why I write what I do. I try to change someone’s perspective on how they see the world; I try to show them that kindness is key; and I try to share the lessons I’ve learned on how to be the best person you can be. I share the lessons I’ve learned on forgiveness, on the importance of loving yourself, and that anything and everything you want in this life is possible if you believe in yourself.

Good things come from good energy and emotions. Negativity breeds negativity, and positivity breeds positivity.

I’m not out to change anyone. I write my life experiences to show others that there is always hope and that we can change if we want to. I try to share with others that I learned that when you want something in your life to change that that change begins with YOU.

I’m not about rules or telling anyone what to do. I’m just a girl who wants to make a positive impact on another person’s life, because if I can do that, there will be a positive impact on the people that surround them.

I took this unpleasant and hurtful experience and turned it into a lesson of strength. I used it to write what needs to be written: the truth. I used this pain and turned it into one of peace in my forgiveness towards them.

Those comments fueled the fire within me to stand up for myself and to stand in my truth. I know those comments about me were untrue and I never should have let them hurt me, yet the pain brought more: it made me stronger and even more determined to make a positive impact in the world.

This girl is on fire and my mission is to keep writing about kindness, respect, forgiveness and strength. I’m on fire to write about taking back the control and power that I had so easily given to someone else, because the truth is, we should NEVER give that away. Yet it happens by a comment or a hurtful action by another.

I’ve learned that the next time that happens I will stand in my truth and not allow them to cause me any negative feelings. No one will ever take away my power again and I will be diligent in keeping my emotions and my life in MY control.

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult, yet most powerful tools we can use. Forgiveness will free YOU from the negative feelings that someone caused you. Forgiveness will give you peace in knowing that you let it go…and hopefully, you let THEM go as well.

Wish them love and light and pray for their own healing…and then drop it.

Move forward.

Never let anyone steal your power and control. Never let them know they caused you the pain that they had hoped they would.

Forgive them.

Forget them.

And remember, no one can hurt you unless you let them.

From this day forward, this girl is on fire and I won’t stop until I’ve made the difference in this world that I hope and want to make.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

 

“Kindness Is Free”

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I’m on a roll this week about kindness. Last week I was the target of people being incredibly “unkind” to me. It saddens me to know that people can be that way, yet we’re all wired differently.

Kindness is free. It doesn’t cost any money and it doesn’t cost a lot of time. In fact, being kind to someone else actually gives a gift back to you: it makes you feel good that you made someone else feel good by being kind to them.

Yet there are those that choose not to be kind; they choose to be mean and hurtful. Theykindness4 choose to judge you without knowing who you. And some choose to be mean because they do know you and want what you have: in other words, they’re jealous. Or they’re insecure. Or they just want to be mean because they hate you.

I try to spread kindness wherever and to whomever I can. I love to make someone smile, or feel better, or laugh out loud! I love to be there with a listening ear and shoulder to cry on if someone needs me. I love to sit with someone who doesn’t want to be alone.

But someone was mean to me last week. They wrote things about me that weren’t true. They hid behind a false name and email address. They couldn’t say those things to me in person because they didn’t have the courage to do so; they are a coward.

They are mean. They are unkind. They are hurtful.

And they must be one sad soul to want to hurt someone else.

I forgive them for what they did, and I can only do that so I don’t stay angry. But I will never forget what they said and did.

I believe in my heart that if everyone in the world was kind we’d be living in a much different world.

Be kind, share random acts of kindness to others, and be kind in the things you say.

Kindness can change the world.

As I always say: “It’s time to make a difference and we can make a difference together.”

Let’s start that difference today…

And let’s keep it going every day.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

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