#stoptheabuse

“The Troublemakers”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

There are some people that are just born “trouble makers.” Do you know the type that I’m speaking about? I know it all too well because I’ve been dealing with them my entire life yet they have taught me some very valuable lessons.

As an empath I can feel the pain of others and have the gift of being able to understand how they feel and why they act the way that they do, but just because I’m able to do that does NOT mean that their behavior is justified. 

I used to teach my kids that “bullies” were mean because they were insecure,  jealous or had low self-esteem.  I taught them that it was their feelings about themselves that made them mean to others. As an adult, I don’t use the term “bully,” but use the correct term of “abuser and/or narcissist.”

I battled breast cancer and won, but battling a narcissist? That’s a battle for which there is no chemo or radiation to try and cure it. It’s a battle that is not fought to win, in fact, it’s a battle that NO ONE should enter into. I have studied and researched narcissism for years and have lived through many years of dealing with one. I’m learning that less interaction with them is best. They will turn it on you every time and play the victim and the martyr. They are hurtful people with not a stitch of remorse or compassion to be found in their being.

The people who truly matter in your life are the ones who love you for who you are. They support you and stand by you. They are the ones that bring you joy when they’re around and would never intentionally hurt you. 

No one has the right to hurt another person. You are a unique and amazing human being and deserve love, respect and compassion. 

Cut ties with any narcissists that are taking up space in your life and draining your beautiful energy. They don’t deserve your time and you don’t deserve their abuse.

Shine bright, my loves, because your light will always shine through the darkness!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Insight Into Cruel People”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

There are some cruel people in this world. They are the ones that judge you, point the finger at you, tell you what’s wrong with you and are verbally abusive. It doesn’t matter if it’s someone you know or a stranger: it’s wrong.

Yet all too often it happens without warning and without reason, although there is a reason people are cruel: it’s them projecting their own fears and insecurities onto you. And it’s wrong, it’s hurtful, and it’s abusive.

My son was the target of a stranger in a convenience store yelling obscenities at him and saying some downright disgusting comments to him. As a mother, it infuriated me and I wish I had been there when it happened. On the other hand, had it not been my child I still would have been infuriated because no one has the right to speak to another human being that way.

I’ve been on the other end of verbal abuse more times than I can count, yet there’s one thing I’ve learned and I want to share with you: those people are projecting their fears and insecurities onto me.

They see in someone else what they can’t see in themselves and want desperately to see or be.

They see strength in someone else that they wish they had, but they don’t because they don’t know how to be strong.

They see an open minded person living a happy life, being who they are, and wish they could be that person, but they can’t because they’re afraid to.

They’re afraid to be who they want to be and have the life they want to have because they fear people just like them judging them and verbally abusing and harassing them.

Those cruel people have low self-esteem, fear, and insecurities beyond belief.

They don’t know how to be any other way than cruel, and they don’t want to try and be any different. They make the choice to be judgmental and mean, and the rest of us suffer because of their ignorance.

I know all of this to be true but I will admit my heart always breaks a bit when someone is nasty and cruel to me or my loved ones.

But I also have to remember that it’s not me they’re actually judging…they are judging themselves and taking it out on me.

Be kind, my friends, for you never know the what the journey of another human being is like.

Ignore those cruel people and know they are the ones with the problems, not you.

Fear, insecurity, jealousy and low self-esteem: negative emotions that breed negative people.

Don’t be one of them.

Be you.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“You Are Beautiful…No Matter What They Say”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

I’m always honest with all of you that follow me and I’m going to be honest now. You’ve all become “friends” to me with all your support and comments which I appreciate more than I can say.

I share my personal experiences with all of you in the hopes to make a difference to someone, yet there are moments in my life that it isn’t all sunshine and roses, as I’m sure yours isn’t at times.

So I’m going to get personal and honest with all of you: I’ve had a bad week. A really bad week.

I’ve gone through a few situations this week that hurt my heart so deeply that I’m having a difficult time getting past it…yet I know I will in time.

I have to process what’s happened, try to understand why, and figure out the lesson in it for me. Heartache happens to teach us something…and now it’s trying to teach me something.

I know what to do because I’m always telling all of you how to get through rough times…I’ve been down this road before and I know it’s a difficult journey, yet I know the process I have to go through to get to a better place.

I need to remind myself that anyone who hurts my heart did so because of their own issues. Some people hurt others because they’re feeling hurt themselves, or because they need to have that control, or because they’re simply abusive. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make it right.

And I let them do it.

And sometimes we just don’t know how to stop them from doing it, which is why I believe to my toes that if someone treats you that way you have to wish them love and light and let them go.

And it’s not easy.

So, yes, I’m feeling hurt this week and trying to figure out why it all happened and how to handle it.

 

And I have to remind myself that it’s not my fault, it’s theirs.

And you need to remember that as well and repeat this to yourself as often as you have to: “It’s not my fault.”

We don’t ask people to hurt us or be mean. We don’t ask people to abuse us verbally or physically. We don’t ask someone to treat us badly.

That’s their choice to do it and our choice to allow it or not.

What we can do is know our worth, know our value and not allow anyone to treat us badly.

We need to remind ourselves that we’re beautiful, lovable and important.

And they need to be reminded that “their words can bring us down.”

And they need to understand that hurtful words can be forgiven, but they will never be forgotten.

I’m as human as anyone else and wanted to share this piece of my life with you.

In the end, I’ll be fine.

It’s a process.

I guess you could say that “Anne Dennish” has another life lesson to learn!

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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