“Be That Person”

We’ve all gone through tough times in our lives.

Some people let those difficult situations make them a better person; they learn the lessons, heal themselves, and get back up on their feet even stronger.

Then there are those people that let those difficult situations make them a bitter person; they can’t see that there was a lesson to learn through the experience, they don’t or won’t heal from it, and they’d rather stay down than pick themselves up.

The better person learns to forgive and let it go; they continue moving forward, no matter what life hands them. They use their experiences to help others and love the world.

The bitter person holds onto the anger and refuses to forgive; they stay stuck in the negative emotions of the experience and can’t see all the endless possibilities that are outside of that time. They’re unable to love the world because their bitterness prevents them from loving themselves.

Which person are you?

Be that person that learns from the tough times and embraces the lessons learned from it; be that person who continues to love the world even if the world isn’t loving you back the way you want; be that person who keeps moving forward and uses the difficult times and the triumph of overcoming them to share with others.

Be that person.

I know that you can.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

be that person

“Helpless When You Smile”

 

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I’ve learned that no matter what kind of day someone is having you can help change that moment when you smile at them, because they’ll smile back. In fact, most people become “helpless when you smile,” but helpless in a good way: they see your smile, they feel your positive energy behind it, and they share in your happiness. They begin to let go of their bad day and become helpless at staying in that bad place; they’re helpless when you smile.

Make a difference in someone’s day today.

Make an effort to share your positive energy with someone who needs it.

Make someone “helpless when you smile” today.

It’s a good thing…

Wishing you love, light, and smiles,

~Anne Dennish~

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“The New Year Revelations”

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I gave up on making New Year resolutions years ago, and replaced them with what I call my “New Year’s Revelations.” It’s all the things I learned throughout the year that I will carry into the new year with me, in the hopes that I don’t make the same mistakes. In other words, my New Year’s Revelations are my “waking up” moments of seeing the truth in myself and others’, of learning from my mistakes, and learning more about myself.

I use New Year’s Eve as my time of reflection back onto the year that is about to end. I look back at all that happened, good and bad. It’s a time to count my blessings of the year, and to be sure that I had many more gains than losses. It’s a time to look back at where I may have fallen short and try to understand why. It’s a time to look back at relationships that ended with honesty and respect, and of letting them go. It’s taking my accountability for the ending, and moving on with no regrets and no intentions of ever going back.

It’s the night I say good-bye to all those people, places and things that no longer serve my highest good; that didn’t bring out the best in me; that caused me stress and heartache; that took advantage of me. And then I look at why it happened. Did I allow boundaries to be crossed? Did I allow their behaviors that hurt me? Did I put myself in a situation that broke me in two? And when I can answer that with an open and honest truth of “yes,” I can then begin to understand and see the lesson in it.

I learned many things this year, and I’d like to share a few with you. These are my top “waking up” moments, or “revelations,” if you will:

  • I learned that the old saying “keep your friends close and your enemies even closer” is an absolute lie! Nothing good comes from surrounding yourself with people who are negative and toxic, manipulative and untrustworthy. If you think you’re an enemy of someone, or they are an enemy to you, definitely keep them far away!
  • I learned that the other old saying “you always hurt the ones you love” may be truth, but not such a good idea. Trust me, hurting the ones you love will not serve you well.
  • I always knew how precious life was, especially having survived breast cancer, yet this year after losing some very special people in my life I’ve realized just how precious it is. No day is promised, and if you have a chance to spend time with those you love, do it! You may miss out on a chance that you’ll never get back.
  • I learned to say I love you to the ones’ I love more often, and to hug them all tighter.
  • I learned that if something seems too good to be true, most often times, it is.
  • I learned that if I do anything for the wrong reasons, I’ll soon learn those “wrong reasons” the hard way.
  • That no matter what anyone says, I will always be a dreamer and will always dream big! Why would anyone settle for less
  • And my biggest “revelation” was that I need to stand up for myself more, speak my truth always, and walk away from people or situations that are not good for me.

All in all, the past year has been filled with more “ups” than “downs,” and while a few people have had to leave my life, a few more amazing ones’ walked in. I know for sure that when you get rid of anything negative or toxic, you open the door to the positive coming in, and that’s what I did this past year, hard as some of it may have been.

As I close out 2016, I say good-bye to a few close friends and family that passed on, and I know in my heart I now have some amazing guardian angels watching over me. My heart has hurt over their passing, but the joy and love that they left me with has helped me through

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RIP Tom Contreras  1956-2016

I’ve said good-bye to a few friends who were no longer welcome in my circle, yet they taught me what true friends are…and aren’t. I’m grateful for the lessons they taught me.

And as I get ready to welcome in the year of 2017, I look towards it with the promise of more dreams to catch, more life to celebrate, and more adventures to begin. I look forward to another year with my love and all the joy he’s brought into my life, and to another year of our life together growing as one.

To all of you, I wish you adventure, dreams come true, love, light and all the good that you are willing to receive. Happy New Year and may your “New Year’s Revelation” be your guide into this New Year of 2017!

Live your life to the fullest…live your life in love…live your life!

And make it absolutely amazing!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Happy New Year from my love and I to all of you!

“It’s Right In Front of You”

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In this crazy world today, there are so many people looking for something more than what they have. They lose sight of what’s in front of them, and instead, look around and away from it and gaze out into the side. You know that old saying:”you don’t know what you had until it’s gone.” And it’s true.

It’s sad that so many people today just don’t get it. They could be in a perfectly good relationship,  yet as time marches on, the thrill and excitement become stagnant. And that’s their own fault because rather than focus on what’s right in front of them, they go looking to the side for something else. When they find that something else, they start comparing the “outside” to “what’s in front of them.” And I can tell you that doing that will end a relationship more quickly than you can imagine.

The reality is that in any relationship the emotions change as time passes, but that doesn’t mean that you need to lose sight of the passion you felt from the beginning. You’ve left the “honeymoon” phase and entered a more content, peaceful phase. And that’s fine, yet that can easily turn into someone feeling that they are being taken for granted. And no one wants to feel less than who they are; no one wants to feel as if they don’t matter; and no one wants to feel as though they aren’t loved anymore.

Relationships change with time, and my biggest teacher was my two marriages and divorces and an extremely hurtful relationship. I learned through all of them that it takes two people to begin something, and two people two end it. I don’t believe that it’s always a 50/50 partnership; there are times that one person has to give more than the other, and vice versa. And I learned that when you lose sight of what’s in front of you and start looking at what’s on the outside, the relationship is almost over.

And there’s usually no coming back from that. Once the damage is done, it’s done.

“Everything if forgivable but not always repairable.”

We seem to live in a world today where everything has to be perfect, always be exciting, and always be larger than life! But you know what? It never will be all those things all the time. Sometimes the most mundane, small things are actually the biggest things in a relationship. Sometimes it’s just a look into someone’s eyes or a touch of the hand that make you heart melt. It’s that last kiss goodnight before you close your eyes and the first thing you say in the morning to each other before you get out of bed. It’s the arms that know exactly when and how to wrap themselves around you to make you feel safe or comfort you when you’re sad. It’s the laughter of shared memories and silly jokes. It’s the deep, heartfelt conversations that take you one step further into a deeper relationship and understanding of who each of you are.

Small…mundane…but more precious than gold.

Relationships are like the ocean, sometimes rough, sometimes calm, yet always in motion. It’s a matter of weathering the storm until you can float on smooth waters. But the point is that you do it together.

Love isn’t complicated; it’s people who make it that way. Love is respecting each others’ feelings and embracing the differences. Love is wanting to be together, yet knowing when to give each other space. Love doesn’t clip your wings, it gives you the strength to fly. Love is the greatest gift between two people, and if you’re lucky enough to find love, always look directly at it, not off to the side.

Some people just like the idea of “love” and miss out on the reality of true love. And that’s how they lose sight of what’s in front of them; what they thought was love really wasn’t because true love doesn’t die, doesn’t wither away, and doesn’t become boring. True love grows by looking at it directly and not looking away.

Take a moment today to look at what’s right in front of you and stop searching for something better “off to the side.” Pay attention to the gift of love you share with someone, because while it may not always be perfect, it will always be “love.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Scenes From An Italian Deli”

“It’s time to make a difference, and we can make a difference together.”

~Anne Dennish~

I had a book signing today at my local Italian deli, Valente’s. It was a cold, rainy day, yet the owner and staff were wonderful to my love and I.

However, it wasn’t the amount of books sold that stuck with me today…it’s what happened as I was leaving, and I want to share this beautiful story with all of you.

There was a table of gentleman sitting across from me, and they were there for quite some time. They kept looking over and were probably wondering what this book was all about, yet they didn’t stop by to see me… until I was leaving.

This sweet gentleman came up to me and asked what the book was about. I told him it was about the lessons I’ve learned through my life and breast cancer. He smiled and told me he has a rare cancer, but was fortunate to be in an experimental trial which is keeping him alive. Others with this same cancer had passed long before him. Soon, his friend joined in the conversation, and we exchanged our stories of chemo, treatments, hospitals, side effects and survival!

I reached my hand out to formally introduce myself to him, and with that, he outstretched his arms and consumed me in a beautiful bear hug. He told me to keep writing, stay healthy, and survive. I told him the same. I couldn’t help but feel such a connection with another person battling cancer. He smiled as he said goodbye, and wished me well.

That stands out more in my mind than the books I signed today. My story made a difference, and his story made a difference to me.

Please remember to be kind, to take a moment to listen to someone who needs to talk, and share your “waking up” moments with others.

After all: “It’s time to make a difference, and we can make a difference together.”

And today, at an Italian deli, a difference was made.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Author of “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer”

Available at Barnes and Noble.com and Amazon.com

your move