“Where’s The Love?”

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If you’ve been following my latest blogs then you’ll understand this story. Last weekend someone made a comment on one of my blogs. It was hurtful and untrue. As I looked at the IP address I realized that it belonged to the same person that did the same thing to me in August, commenting on me personally rather than on my writing.

My heart sank on Saturday morning when I saw a degrading comment about “me.” I traced the IP address to the vicinity of where it came from and realized that it was from the same one back in August, and sadly, it’s someone I know.

I appreciate and welcome any comments about my writing…I appreciate comments to tell me how I can be a better writer. I don’t take offense at construction criticism about my writing, but I do take offense to being publicly slandered about “who” someone says I am. And I’m hurt to know it’s someone I know and that “someone” knows I’m not anything that they said I was. My character was defamed, my reputation slandered. And I was hurt because I couldn’t understand, let alone wrap my head around why this person would do that to me.

Yet something made them do it and it hurt. They hid behind false names and false email addresses, yet an IP address doesn’t lie. I knew who it was.

Some may say I took the comment too personally, yet I felt slightly threatened and definitely slandered. Since the comment was made public on my website, I’ll share it with you:

Patty Kastner commented on “Stay Out Of My Bubble”

Did it ever occur to you that you reflect all that you are, that perhaps you create all these situations because of your own self loathing?
You seem to gave a central theme in all your blogs that portray you as a victim, not as an enlightened, loving spiritual being. Good luck on your “project” …looks like you have a lot of self work to do.

I deleted the other comments the moment I read them in August, but the theme and the tone were the same. It was a direct attack on me as a person, not me as a writer. It was the voice of someone who hated me and the life I’m living with my love, Rob. It was someone that is so angry with me that they wanted to publicly slander me.

And the truth is, I’m not any of those things. I’m not self-loathing and I definitely do not play a victim. I try and take all my experiences I’ve gone through, the good and the bad, and share them with others in the hope that I can help them through when there was no one to help me. I want to inspire and motivate people; I want to spread kindness and hope; I want to make a difference in the world and in another human beings life; I want to try and make the world a better place.

When I saw that comment on Saturday morning it felt as though someone punched me in the stomach. When I realized it was from the same person from months ago, my heart sank…because it was then I realized who it was.

I spoke to the police and knew what I could do, but then I thought about the rest of that family. They shouldn’t pay for that person’s feelings towards me. I was angry and I was hurt. Even as I write this I would love to sit down with this person and ask them why they did that to me. Why did they hate me so much?

And then I realized the answer: some people are so unhappy in their own lives that they take it out on others; they want what someone else has and if they can’t have it, they’ll try and ruin it; they’re jealous, they’re insecure and they’re lost souls with no direction. They don’t understand that they can have all those things on their own but they can’t or won’t because they don’t love themselves, don’t respect themselves, and would rather play the martyr than to do the work on themselves to have the best life they can have.

I’m not angry anymore because I forgave them. I had to. Holding onto the anger keeps it alive and gives that person and what they did control and power over me, and I won’t have it. So I decided to forgive them, and let go of the anger. I didn’t call them or let them know I forgive them, I forgave them for ME! And once I did that I realized that there was no more anger, and by forgiving them I took back my power and my control.

Today I forgave them but I’ll never forget the three comments they wrote about me. I’ll forgive them but I’ll never forget what they said. Never.

And now you know why I am on a mission of spreading the word to all of you to be kind to one another.

The world will never get better with hate and jealousy, but there’s a good chance it will change with kindness.

One step at a time…

One random act of kindness at a time…

One person being kind to another…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

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“Kindness Is Free”

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I’m on a roll this week about kindness. Last week I was the target of people being incredibly “unkind” to me. It saddens me to know that people can be that way, yet we’re all wired differently.

Kindness is free. It doesn’t cost any money and it doesn’t cost a lot of time. In fact, being kind to someone else actually gives a gift back to you: it makes you feel good that you made someone else feel good by being kind to them.

Yet there are those that choose not to be kind; they choose to be mean and hurtful. Theykindness4 choose to judge you without knowing who you. And some choose to be mean because they do know you and want what you have: in other words, they’re jealous. Or they’re insecure. Or they just want to be mean because they hate you.

I try to spread kindness wherever and to whomever I can. I love to make someone smile, or feel better, or laugh out loud! I love to be there with a listening ear and shoulder to cry on if someone needs me. I love to sit with someone who doesn’t want to be alone.

But someone was mean to me last week. They wrote things about me that weren’t true. They hid behind a false name and email address. They couldn’t say those things to me in person because they didn’t have the courage to do so; they are a coward.

They are mean. They are unkind. They are hurtful.

And they must be one sad soul to want to hurt someone else.

I forgive them for what they did, and I can only do that so I don’t stay angry. But I will never forget what they said and did.

I believe in my heart that if everyone in the world was kind we’d be living in a much different world.

Be kind, share random acts of kindness to others, and be kind in the things you say.

Kindness can change the world.

As I always say: “It’s time to make a difference and we can make a difference together.”

Let’s start that difference today…

And let’s keep it going every day.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

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“The One Word I Despise: Victim”

I don’t get angry very often and I try not to get upset at someone who says hurtful things to me, but I will tell you this, there is but ONE WORD that will make my blood boil and fill me with an anger that makes my head spin: VICTIM! Aside from those emotions, it hurts my heart, because I’m not that.

And recently someone decided to publicly call me that. The comments were nasty, untrue, and bordering on “threatening.” And they called me a “victim.”

There’s not many people who have called me that, in fact, I know of only two and those two people live unhappy lives and take their negative feelings about themselves and turn them on me. And the moment those two people called me that I wished them love and light and sent them on their way. The friendship had served its’ time and was done, because if you think that’s what I am then you have no place in my life. I will not surround myself with anyone that believes that of me.

I am not a victim, I am a survivor and proud of that.

I am a survivor of divorce, domestic violence, emotional abuse and breast cancer. I never once saw myself as a victim of any of these things because, while I never wanted to have any of it happen, I accepted them as life lessons. Those things happened to me so that I could learn from them, survive them, and use my voice through my writing to help other’s going through those situations.

Me? A victim?

Not by a long shot.

But there are those that play the victim themselves. They are martyrs and portray themselves as good people, when in reality, they are quick to judge and despise anyone who has something they want. They are jealous and insecure, and in reality, they are the ones who choose to be a victim.

And trust me, I’m not one of them.

I don’t have a perfect life, but it’s perfect for me. I have a wonderful man in my life and have five beautiful children, all of whom I’m very proud of. I am able to pursue my passion of writing every day of my life. I’m surrounded by some amazing friends who always have my back and see me as a survivor. My “bubble” is filled with the people that support me and more importantly, love me.

And none of them believe me to be a victim because they know I’m not.

I write about my past experiences in a positive light, hoping to let others know that they’re not alone, that there’s always hope, and there’s always a way to get through it.

I know that there are people who will judge me, but if you’re going to do that, make sure that you know me. Don’t see me through eyes of hatred and jealousy, see me through the eyes of “truth.”

“Survivor” is one of my favorite words. It means you had enough faith in yourself and your Higher Power to get through the tough times. Life hasn’t always been easy for me, yet I choose to be grateful for every day I wake up, for every experience, good or bad, that life hands me because in the end everything is a lesson to learn so that we can live the best life possible.

And once again I’ll say this: “If you can’t be kind, be quiet.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~