relationships

“Don’t Lose Yourself”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

We’re never too old to learn something about ourselves and during this past week I learned something so valuable about myself that is life changing and will definitely help me in living my best life even more.

I always talk about “fear,” and that nothing good can come from it. I talk about standing in your truth and using your voice in a kind, respectful way to express it. I talk about how to understand any fear you may be facing and how to get past it.

Yet during this last week I realized that I had been carrying a “fear” which I wasn’t even aware of. Sometimes a situation happens in your life that brings a life lesson to you, that gives you an opportunity to see something in yourself that you hadn’t been able to see before.

I see it now and I want to share it with all of you.

I love and value the people in my life and I would never want to lose them, and that’s a human and normal way to feel. Yet I also realized that in not wanting to lose them I’ve become “fearful” of losing them. I finally saw that I wasn’t standing in my truth as much as I should have or saying what I needed to say to them because I didn’t want to anger or hurt them because if I did that, they’d leave my life. And that is so not the way to be with anyone in your life: friend, family member, partner or spouse. I realized that this was a fear that should never have been part of who I am because in the end, anyone who would leave my life because of who I am and what I say didn’t really value me at all. And that is the truth. And it’s my truth now. And I’m working on releasing that fear that was buried within me for much of my life.

We’re all humans who, at times, don’t even understand why we act the way we do or feel the way we do, yet once we address these underlying issues of our own and understand the “why” behind them, we release them…and we grow into our best sense of self. And we begin the journey of healing, of recovery and the road to truly “living our best life.”

“Don’t be afraid of losing someone by standing in your truth. Be afraid of losing yourself if you don’t.” AD

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Three Sides To Every Story”

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My mother always said that “there’s three sides to every story, yours, mine and the truth.” And she’s right. There are three sides to each of our stories and I’ve learned from experience to believe the story that lies in the middle of your version and mine: “the truth.”

Sometimes we get so caught up in the emotions that are swirling around in our minds that we lose sight of the truth. We tell our story to whoever will listen, hoping that they’ll be on “our” side, not “their” side. We’re hoping for confirmation that we aren’t guilty of anything, that the other person is. And we’re hoping that telling others our version will make it the truth. It doesn’t.

The real truth lies out there in the middle. It’s one thing to tell your story to friends and family for support, which would be the right reason. It’s another thing to tell it for sympathy and to talk badly of the other person, which is the wrong reason. There’s enough hurt swirling around. You don’t need the opinions of others to keep it going. After all, they’re not living in your “truth,” they’re just hearing it from you.

Everyone has their own “version” of their situation, but when you get to the real heart of the matter, when you take your own accountability and when you forgive yourself and the other person, then you will have found the right version: the truth. It’s not always easy to face the truth, but it’s an important piece of healing and moving forward in your life. No one knows your “truth” but you. Be careful who you share it with.J ust my thoughts…Have a wonderful day.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Healing A Broken Heart”

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Anger is one of the most dangerous emotions to feel. It pushes people into doing things that they wouldn’t normally do and the repercussions of those actions can be brutal. And the damage it can cause to another human being is oftentimes hurtful beyond repair, the effects lasting a lifetime. There’s no value in anger, only in forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. That is why forgiveness is so very important. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that it is “okay” for someone to hurt you, or that you forgot what they did, it means that you’ve forgiven the person in order to let go of your anger. Heartache and hurt feelings take time to heal, but anger? You can get rid of it as quickly as you felt it…with forgiveness. Time does heal all wounds, and so does love, compassion, understanding, empathy and a willingness to take accountability for your part in all of it.

And time does heal all wounds more quickly when you have found forgiveness in your heart. Nothing heals a broken heart more than a heart that can forgive. And I know that to be true. Just my thoughts…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Life And Love Is About Forgiveness!

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Human behavior always amazes me, especially when hearts are broken or bruised. I’ve had quite a few broken hearts in my life. When I was younger and immature my first thought would have been to “pay them back.” Let’s face it, that’s what most teenagers do. Yet as I grew older I learned that a pay back isn’t the solution for a broken heart. It’s not the solution to anything. Broken and bruised hearts happen for so many reasons, yet as I always say, if your heart feels any pain then remind yourself that your heart still works. We can’t feel brokenness if we can’t feel love. I’ve learned that when someone breaks my heart there is no easy fix, and no pay back or spiteful behavior will help ease the pain. In fact, the more you act out in vindictiveness or spite towards someone who hurt you, the more you’ll stay in your own pain. You’ll never move forward and you’ll never heal. And don’t we all want to heal from something that has hurt us? I will tell you in no uncertain terms that hurting someone that hurt you isn’t the answer and will never serve you well. Talk to the person who hurt you, express your feelings, and listen to their reasons as to why they had done something to hurt you. Not everyone hurts another human being on purpose. I know I don’t. Sometimes it’s inevitable that we hurt the ones we love, not because we stopped loving them, but because we began to love ourselves in a way that they couldn’t or wouldn’t.

“The heart has a mind of its own” and when that heart has been hurt by someone they love, the mind seems to take over with no reason or rhyme. A heart that truly knows love will never lose sight of how precious it is. The heart knows how it feels and every so often the mind gets involved to help it through the pain. We all have gone through a broken heart at one time or another, but I beg of you, don’t allow your pain to hurt someone back. Nothing good will ever come out of negative emotions. Feel the pain, deal with the “why,” and heal from it. The pain of a broken heart won’t last forever, but your spiteful actions towards them will. And that’s my thoughts for tonight. If you’re feeling hurt, feel it, but don’t feel the need to inflict intentional pain on another human being. In the end, what goes around comes around. It always does. Life and love is about “forgiveness.” And that’s the only way to heal.

Wishing you love and light,

~AnneDennish~

“How Is Your Day Going?”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

“How is your day going?”

Those five words can mean the world to someone. They can change their bad mood to good. They can say “you mean a lot to me” to someone who needs to hear it or be reminded of it. And they say that you thought about someone in the midst of your busy day.

I love those five words and I love when someone takes a moment of their day to let me know that they’re thinking of me. 

Those five words tell me that I’m an important part of their life, that they’re grateful to have me in their life and that I am loved.

Those five words are powerful.

Be sure to use them every chance you get.

It will mean the world to someone you care about.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light and from me to all of you: “How is your day going?”

~Anne Dennish~

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“Say What You Mean”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

“Say what you mean and mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it.”

It’s a simple concept yet a very important one.

It’s okay to voice an opinion or share how you’re feeling with someone. It’s your truth, but never, ever be mean to someone when you say it to them. It’s hurtful and it’s unkind.

There’s no reason to be mean to anyone.

Be kind. Be compassionate. Be respectful.

Speak your truth but don’t be mean when you speak it.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“My Strength Is Their Weakness”

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“My strength is their weakness, my weakness their strength.”

I wrote that quote many, many years ago and it still rings true today. I learned the hard way that when I was vulnerable to the wrong person they took it as a sign of weakness and used it against me to inflate their ego even more.

Once I realized that being vulnerable with the wrong person would not serve me well, I made a decision to stay strong and save my vulnerability for the right person. When I stood my ground they lost theirs. My strength became their weakness.

Remember that when you’re feeling broken from being vulnerable to someone. It’s not a sign of weakness to be vulnerable, it’s actually a sign of strength. Unfortunately, there are certain people that will take advantage of that and use it against you.

You know what?

They’re not your people.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Sometimes Life Has A Different Plan”

/ Anne Dennish / 1 Comment

I heard this quote the other day and have been in love with it ever since…because it’s so true. We keep holding on to the life we planned, even if it doesn’t work out the way we wanted it to. We hold onto wanting what or who we can’t have, hold onto the life we want for our children that had other plans, and even hold on to the career we wanted so badly that we couldn’t accept wasn’t meant to be.

We hold onto the dream of what we wanted, when in fact, there is most often, a better and bigger dream just waiting for us…and this is why I love this quote.

I thought I would be married to the same person forever…life had other plans.

I thought that all of my children would live close by…they had other plans.

I thought I would be living a much different life than I am now…life is teaching me patience. 

So, you see, we all need to let go of the life that we planned that isn’t happening the way we had thought or wanted and open our hearts and mind to the life that is waiting for us.

It’s just waiting for you…

It’s just waiting for me…

Let’s sit back, have faith and let it happen.

I know I am.

I hope you do, too.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Photo by Anne Dennish @2020

 

 

“Are You Ready To Jump Into 2020?”

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The New Year of 2020 is fast approaching and I have to wonder if you’ve been thinking of the life lessons you’ve learned this year. After all, I don’t believe in “resolutions” but in “revelations,” those lessons we’ve learned throughout the year that’s about to end. It’s those lessons that we need to take with us into 2020.

They’re the lessons of some eye-opening moments, of seeing the true colors of people and situations, of learning again and again that you are important. They’re the lessons of  seeing when we weren’t loving ourselves enough or taking care of ourselves the way that we take care of others. They’re the lessons of learning what works in our life and what doesn’t. 

And they’re the lessons that taught us what and who we need to let go of to live our best life.

What are your revelations from 2019?

Are you ready to take those valuable lessons with you into 2020?

Let’s start this year off with a positive outlook on all the possibilities that the New Year will have to offer and let’s all start moving forward into living our best life!

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“How They Treat You Is How They Feel About You”

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I woke up at 4 am this morning with a heart that was hurting and a mind racing with thoughts of a lesson that I’m forever learning: “when someone shows you who they really are, believe them.”

The actions of someone towards you shouldn’t be ignored. If they treat you as if you don’t matter to them, believe them. If they make another person a priority over you, believe that you are not a priority. If they tell you all the things that are wrong with you, believe that that’s the way they feel about you. 

People’s actions let you know if their words are truth. They let you know where their loyalty lies. They let you know whether you’re a priority or not. They let you know that the people who don’t care about them are more important than the person who does care about them: YOU!

Sometimes we simply don’t want to see what is right in front of us. We make excuses for slogan_1 (1)the person who hurt us, we believe that they won’t do it again, and we believe that they do care about us even though their behavior has shown us over and over again that they don’t.

We don’t want to see the truth because we know how much it’s going to hurt.

And then the day comes where you have no choice but to see the truth. It’s the day you have to remember to give yourself all of the things that they can’t or won’t: love, respect, compassion, understanding and loyalty.

Everything begins with you.

And that means that you have to stop making everything about them.

“Don’t be someone else’s slogan because you are poetry.”

Don’t allow yourself to be treated like a slogan.

You deserve to be treated like poetry.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~