“Four Weeks In Florida”

It’s been almost four weeks since I moved to Florida and what an adventure it’s been! On day 11 Hurricane Ian hit and as I picked up my parents to evacuate to my brother’s house on the East Coast I couldn’t help but think: “Why am I here?”

I had just moved down here and very little was unpacked. I spent 3 nights at my brother’s house and worried every single moment I was there. Was the house I just moved into going to be in one piece? How long would the power be out? What would this beautiful town look like?

I picked up my parents on Tuesday and I can’t even begin to describe the conditions I drove through for five hours to get us all to safety. I’ve lived through many Jersey Shore storms but this one was different. The tornado warning alert was going off on my phone, walls of water came up over the car and I swear that at one point I felt as though the front of my car had lifted off the road. It was one of the scariest ordeals I had ever been through but happy to say, we got to the East Coast of Florida in one piece.

My brother and sister in law made us feel welcome and it was good to spend time with them. We constantly watched the news and social media for any updates on the area. It looked like complete devastation for many while others suffered minimal damage.

We packed my car on Friday and drove back to see what, if anything, was left of our homes. My parents house suffered only minimal damage and next it was time to drive to the house that I called home for just 11 days.

I pulled onto my street and saw my house: a broken screen, some cosmetic bricks fallen to the ground, and a missing gutter. That was it. I remember walking into the house and literally falling to my knees in gratitude coupled with tears of sheer joy. My house was fine and I knew at that moment that I would be too. 

There are still moments I wonder why I’m here, but they are becoming far and few between. I know I’m here for a reason and with each day that passes, I find another reason why.

Trust, patience and faith.

It’s a winning combination.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~


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“Time To Say Good-Bye”

Tonight is my last night in Delaware and I’m filled with so many mixed emotions. We trekked up to Jersey yesterday to empty our storage unit and came back today to load it with the rest of my things. Tomorrow we leave for the West Coast of Florida. It’s a very bittersweet time for me. Life is about to change and it’s a big one! I’ve lived at the Jersey Shore my entire life and spent this past summer in Delaware. Tomorrow I leave both places behind to begin a new life, a new adventure, in Florida.

I’m exhausted and will certainly keep you posted on my next adventure but for tonight, I’m spending a quiet night silently saying good-bye to all that I’m leaving behind and saying a silent prayer of gratitude for the amazing life I’ve had for all these years at the Jersey Shore and in Delaware.

Tomorrow another chapter begins and tonight this chapter closes.

Here’s to change and all the wondrous things that life has to offer.

I’ll talk to you when I get to Florida.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Routine”

I’ve been in Delaware for about a month now and have had way too much time to “think” about why I haven’t been writing as much as I used to, why I haven’t finished the final edits on my new book or why I feel so lost.

After much soul searching I got my answer: I lost my routine.

And in losing my “routine” I’ve lost my balance and a little bit of myself.

Back in Jersey I was working full-time and writing in my free time. I don’t miss working the daily grind BUT I do miss the routine. I’d get up everyday at 5:30, grab my coffee and do my hair and makeup as I peered out the window to see the sunrise. I was off to work by 8 and home after 4. It was a “routine.”

The other piece I’m missing is the daily interaction with my boss, co-workers, customers and vendors. I was always meeting someone new and interesting, yet I can remember coming home some days and not wanting to talk to anyone because I was “talked out” from work. Now I long for those days of communication.

It’s quiet here and unless we go out, there’s not much communication with the outside world. There are days that I wish my phone would ring with a friendly voice on the other end just ready for a nice, long conversation.

But it doesn’t and I feel as though I’m left with too much idle time and that’s not me.

This move wasn’t easy but I know that finding a routine here is in my best interest. I’m lost without one. I’m lost without accountability for a job. I’m lost being away from the friends and places that I loved.

Maybe I took too much of that for granted and can now see how important all of that was for me. I can definitely see it now and while there’s no sense in missing it all, there is a sense in being grateful that I had it in the first place.

Today is a new day and I have to push myself to find a new “routine.” I need to make myself accountable for a full time job as a writer. I need to stop feeling lost and find what works for me. And instead of missing my friends and places, I need to incorporate them into a new routine of seeing them when I can.

“Mindset and perspective” are what I’ve been lacking and thankfully this time of feeling lost helped to change mine and hopefully has me moving forward in the right direction.

I believe that “it’s the times we feel most lost in our lives that we’re actually finding ourselves.”

And I believe the last month of feeling lost has helped me to find myself again.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“You Have To Start Somewhere”

“You have to start somewhere.”

That’s the constant thought in my head every morning that I wake up. I guess you could say that this is my first attempt at following my own advice.

We’ve been in Delaware for three weeks now and they’ve not been the best. My significant other broke two ribs during the move which left the lifting and unpacking to me. Unfortunately, I ended up pulling out my back and suffering with a pinched nerve for 12 days. As you can see, it hasn’t been a smooth transition.

I’m trying to find all the positives in the midst of the pain and turmoil. We’re in a beautiful RV resort for the summer and it’s quite peaceful yet I’m homesick and missing my Jersey Shore a lot!

I feel a little lost here. It’s been an emotional couple of months as I helped my parents move out of our childhood home, moved myself, left my job and moved to another state. I guess I should give myself a pass for feeling the way that I do. It’s not been easy for me and I was so excited for this change! What I’m not happy about is that I haven’t written much since I’ve been here and that was something that I was looking forward to: “retired and writing!”

So here I sit, finally able to “start somewhere.” I’ve missed you all and I hope that this is the beginning of me getting back to ME! 

Writing is like breathing to me and I’m so glad that I could share this “first breath” with all of you!

You mean the world to me.

Here’s to “starting somewhere.” I’m feeling grateful that I finally could!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Good-Bye To My Childhood Home”

Two weeks ago my brother, sister and I gathered at our childhood home to say good-bye to it. We’d been packing up my parents house for months and the time to bid farewell was upon us. This was the house we grew up in and as my sister and I sat one afternoon in the living room, it suddenly hit us that this was our tie to the Jersey Shore and even though my parents were snowbirds, the grandkids always had a place to stop in the summer for a grilled cheese, to do laundry or just spend time with their grandparents. The same rings true for my brother and sister. I’ve been lucky enough to have lived at the shore all of my life so when they weren’t in Florida, they were home and I was close by. Yet time marches on, life changes and my parents will now be living in Florida full-time. It’s a big change for all of us because the only way we’ll see them now is to visit them there. 

It wasn’t easy going through all the things that my parents had saved, yet we certainly had a few laughs along the way. It was a time of remembering our youth and telling old stories. 

The same day that I moved from the Jersey Shore to Delaware was the same day I said good-bye to my parents and to my childhood home. Life will never be the same without this old house but it’s time for the next chapter and a new adventure for all of us. 

I love this picture below of the five of us. It’s the first time we’ve all been together in years and we certainly spent much of that time laughing! That’s how we said good-bye to our house on the boulevard. 

I know that the world is a troubled place right now and so much has happened in the last few days, but I also believe that even in the midst of it all, it’s important to remember the good times and to be grateful. Memories are a good distraction, if only for a brief moment or two, to bring us back to simpler, even happier times in our life. 

Hold onto the memories and embrace the next chapter with open arms.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The New Year’s Revelations”

(Here’s an excerpt from my book, “Each Breath Along The Journey”)

I write about this subject in one form or another every year, and this year is no exception.

Every year I notice that as the  New Year approaches, people start talking about their “resolutions.” There’s things they want to do and things they want to change in their life so they make a list of “resolutions.”

I threw that concept out years ago because to me, resolutions were nothing more than making promises to myself that I couldn’t keep. They were goals for sure, but seriously, how many of us actually stick to those resolutions? I always tried, failed at some, then beat myself up for not doing what I had wanted.

So, years ago I realized that the only way for my life to change was by learning the lessons that life had handed me, by learning from my mistakes, learning from my experiences, and so I decided to have my “New Year’s Revelations!” 

I ask myself some important questions throughout the month of December: What opened my eyes this past year? What did I learn about myself? What type of people are in my tribe? Am I taking care of myself and loving myself enough or giving too much of myself away? And what do I need to let go of that has no place in the New Year coming up and in my life?

These are the questions to ask yourself and answer honestly. You see, when you have those “revelations” about yourself and the year that’s about to come to an end, you take those lessons and truths with you. You begin the New Year with a better understanding of yourself, your life, your situations and the people in it. When you do that, the New Year will bring all that you want it to: love, happiness, joy, adventure, new beginnings, and new opportunities. The possibilities are endless.

Don’t put added stress on yourself by making “resolutions.”

Take the time to think about your “revelations” and begin the New Year in a positive light. 

All things are possible if you just believe in yourself!

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The New Year’s Eve Mindset”

It’s New Year’s Eve, the last day of 2019 and the last day of the decade. At midnight tonight a new year and a new decade will be upon us: 2020! How exciting, how wonderful that we’re blessed to be here for this night, how amazing it is that we have a chance to start over, to have a new beginning in our life, to change our lives.

I believe in taking the life lessons of the old year into the new year, but I also believe that New Year’s Eve is a mindset. It’s another day, another month, and a new year, yet why do we put so much importance on changing our life on that one day? It’s because it’s tradition. It’s what people all over the world celebrate and we do, too. After all, it IS a new year and a new decade and that does deserve a celebration of its’ own.

My point is that we don’t need to wait until that one day to make changes in our life. We have the choice to change our mindset from waiting for that one day to one of embracing all the days in between to taking the steps to have the life we want and deserve.

Celebrate New Year’s Eve and the beginning of a New Year and New Decade.

And celebrate all the days in between.

It’s a good thing.

Happy New Year!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

new year mindset

 

“Be Careful What Doors You Open”

doors to the past 1

We all have a past; some of it filled with beautiful memories and some of it filled with heartache, sadness and negative energy. Yet I believe that when you close a door in your life it’s best to leave it closed because should you open it you never know what or who you’re letting back in…and that could be something that affects your life today in a negative way.

I believe that it’s fine to “revisit the past for a brief time, if only to remember why you left it in the first place.” Living in the past steals your present and your future. It keeps you from moving forward, it keeps you stuck in a time in your life that’s already passed and it keeps you from living in the moment. And living in the moment is what leads you into your future.

There are pieces of our past that are meant only for us to remember; speaking that past out loud to the wrong person could be hurtful. And I’m talking specifically about relationships here. The older we get the more of a past we have. We’ve had past lovers and significant others, we’ve had past heartache, we’ve had past intimate moments, and the door closed to that once those relationships were over. I’ve had them, too, yet once those doors are closed I keep them closed because once I open the door to the past I’m leaving myself vulnerable to what I’m letting back into a life I already moved forward in.

Opening the door to a past that was left behind means that you’ve allowed that energy back into your life, or you’ve let that person back in. It means you’re choosing to allow the emotions from that time to be felt again, whether good or bad, and it means you’re looking at your present life as less important than your past.

We have all those “past” experiences to teach us life lessons so that we can move into a better life, a better relationship. Remembering old loves is a memory to be kept to yourself; speaking it to your new love will only bring pain to them…and in the end, to you. There are some pieces of our past that are better left unsaid and kept to ourselves, because living in the past can definitely influence your present life which inevitably can affect your future.

We all carry some wonderful memories of our past, myself included, but I believe that when we “live” in our past, remembering our past relationships, then that is a sign that we’re not happy or content in our relationship now. And that is something to think about.

Be careful when opening the doors to your past; you never know “what” or “who” you’re letting back in. And you never know who it’s going to hurt.

The past is meant to be left in the past; your future lies in your present.

Don’t lose sight of the people you love in your present life by constantly looking back at the people you left behind in your past.

Be grateful for the people you love in your life today…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Feel, Deal and Heal”

I’ve gone through my share of, what most may say, are traumatic experiences: divorce, cancer, and abuse, to name a few. When I share these experiences publicly many people ask me how I’m still standing, how in the world did I become so positive after so many negative things happened to me.

My answer is always the same: Because I chose to get through and I’m standing even stronger.

And how is that possible?

Because I knew I had to feel all the emotions that came with those “traumas” and deal with them; and that’s how I was able to heal.

No one wants to feel hurt, sadness or brokenness, yet we all do at some point in our life. Many people block those emotions; they tuck them away and believe that they moved on from them. I can tell you that they didn’t. Ignoring what you have to face is lying to yourself and eventually all those emotions you didn’t deal with will catch up with you at some point in your life. They always do.

And when they do catch up with you those around you pay the price for it as well.

Don’t you want to feel happy? Don’t you want to find joy in your life? Don’t you want to let go of an experience that caused you pain?

Sure you do…we all do.

So do it. Take a long look in the mirror at yourself and let your truth come through. Take that experience and all the pain that came with it and deal with it. Feel the pain, the heartache and let the healing waters of your tears flow to release it all. Then forgive the experience so you no longer hold onto it and then forgive yourself for allowing it to hold you back from the happiness you want and deserve.

You can run from those traumatic experiences but trust me, you can’t hide from them until you deal with them.

Feel, deal and heal, my friends.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~

feel the emotions 2

“How A Heart Breaks”

 

breaking a heart

We’ve all had our hearts broken a time or two in this lifetime and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: it doesn’t suddenly break. It’s takes time to break it.

And do you know why a heart breaks?

It’s because someone has been chipping away at it over and over again.

And when most of the heart has been chipped away there’s not much left to hold it together and one day it breaks altogether.

And it can and will never be repaired to the heart it once was. Only the broken hearted can heal their heart and in time, their heart will heal and be stronger than the heart that had been broken.

There’s all type of abuse out there but nothing will chip away at a heart more than verbal and emotional abuse. Those are the worst and I know it for fact because I’ve been the person on the other side of it more times than I can count. It’s a difficult and long process to heal, but it is possible, because I’ve done it, and I’ve done it more than once.

I’m going to be honest about this subject because I can speak from personal experience.

Words and actions hurt. They chip away at a heart that loves someone so much that they allow it to happen, at least until the day they’ve had enough. And the day that happens is long after the heart has been chipped away at until it breaks; that day is when that person gets strong and rebuilds their damaged heart.

And that is the day they’ve had enough.

It’s the day they’ve seen the truth of the person who treats them that way.

And it’s the day that they realize their value and we all have value. No one deserves to be treated badly, even the ones who treat others badly.

Love doesn’t hurt the heart; harsh words and behaviors do.

Words last forever.

The pain the words caused will never be forgotten.

And a once whole, happy, loving person will break apart.

Until they pick themselves up and put themselves back together.

There are some who don’t realize just how hurtful their words and actions can be to someone they love, especially when that person still sees good in them and still loves them. But the day will come after countless conversations between the two people of how badly they’ve been hurt and how much damage it causes to their heart…and to their soul.It’s the day the heart has been chipped away at over and over again that it breaks.

The good news is that a heart that breaks is proof that it works. It’s proof that you have a heart that loves with abandon, loves another with all that they are, and loves unconditionally. The bad news is that that kind of heart will break when the person they love doesn’t have the same kind of heart.

They have a heart that controls, a heart that can only love so much, and a heart that doesn’t know how to love unconditionally.

Hearts that have been chipped at over time will eventually break, but they also will be given the chance to heal into a stronger heart, a smarter heart, and a heart that knows what they deserve and what they don’t. And it will learn to never settle for less than what they deserve.

Choose your words carefully. Keep your bad day to yourself. Leave work at the office.

 Don’t take your frustrations out on another. And cherish the ones that love you unconditionally with a beautiful heart. Once you chip away at their heart enough you’ll break it, and while everything is forgivable, it’s very rarely repairable.

Remember that.

And ask yourself these very important questions: How would you feel if the person you love treated you the way you treat them? How would you feel if they chipped away at your heart? How would you feel if they were telling you that you were always wrong and that they were always right?

You are in control of your actions towards someone you love.

Choose your words carefully because once you’ve said them you can’t take them back.

It’s never too late to change.

And positive change is a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~