“The Messengers of Drama”

“Don’t shoot the messenger.”

I’ve never liked that quote because I don’t believe that there should be a messenger, and most times when there is it’s because of a negative person and situation. It’s the “messenger of drama.”

If you have something to say to someone then say it to their face. Why involve a third party to continue your drama and feed into your lies? If you truly believe your message, then make it your truth, stand in it, and deliver directly to the person it’s intended for. Don’t be a coward and use someone else to do your dirty work.

I’m a believer that if you have something to say to me, good or bad, then say it to me, not to anyone who’s willing to listen and please do not send a “third party messenger” to say it.  I believe that if you can’t say it to me, it’s because there’s no truth to what you’re saying in the first place.

I’m sure we’ve all had a “messenger” come knocking at our door at least once in our lifetime and from my experience, the messenger is simply a pawn in someone else’s game of drama. 

Stay out of the tornado of drama, don’t answer the door to the messenger, and if the true message is given from the source then take it from where it comes from: someone’s insecurity, judgement and jealousy. 

What would we gain if we stood in our truth and didn’t play into the game of “messengers and drama?”

“Peace.”

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“No Response Is A Powerful Response”

I love conversation and communication, as most who know me would tell you, yet sometimes situations arise in which communication is NOT key. And it’s not key because of the person provoking the situation. I believe that we are in control of our lives, of how we feel,  how we react or respond, and who we allow in our circle. We try and live our best life by setting healthy boundaries, yet there are those who don’t respect the boundaries we make. They cross the line and do as they please. They gossip, they spread lies and they try and make your life miserable. It’s “disrespect” at its’ finest.

So now what?

I used to believe that communication with someone crossing the line was key, yet there are those that want you to do that because it fuels their drama and truth be told, you’re giving them what they want: your attention.

And I made a choice not to give my attention to someone who doesn’t deserve it. It’s a waste of my precious time and filled with negative energy, and in the end, most times, there is no resolution.

I’ve learned that the best thing for me to do is NOT give the situation and the person my precious time and energy; life is too short to be wasted on the drama that another person causes. It’s their insecurities and jealousy that cause them to behave in that way.

I agree that “no response is a powerful response.” 

I’ll communicate with the people important to me, but I will not engage with someone who isn’t. 

I can’t control the drama that someone else is trying to cause in my life, but I can control how I respond.

And my response is “no response.”

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Be Careful What Doors You Open”

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We all have a past; some of it filled with beautiful memories and some of it filled with heartache, sadness and negative energy. Yet I believe that when you close a door in your life it’s best to leave it closed because should you open it you never know what or who you’re letting back in…and that could be something that affects your life today in a negative way.

I believe that it’s fine to “revisit the past for a brief time, if only to remember why you left it in the first place.” Living in the past steals your present and your future. It keeps you from moving forward, it keeps you stuck in a time in your life that’s already passed and it keeps you from living in the moment. And living in the moment is what leads you into your future.

There are pieces of our past that are meant only for us to remember; speaking that past out loud to the wrong person could be hurtful. And I’m talking specifically about relationships here. The older we get the more of a past we have. We’ve had past lovers and significant others, we’ve had past heartache, we’ve had past intimate moments, and the door closed to that once those relationships were over. I’ve had them, too, yet once those doors are closed I keep them closed because once I open the door to the past I’m leaving myself vulnerable to what I’m letting back into a life I already moved forward in.

Opening the door to a past that was left behind means that you’ve allowed that energy back into your life, or you’ve let that person back in. It means you’re choosing to allow the emotions from that time to be felt again, whether good or bad, and it means you’re looking at your present life as less important than your past.

We have all those “past” experiences to teach us life lessons so that we can move into a better life, a better relationship. Remembering old loves is a memory to be kept to yourself; speaking it to your new love will only bring pain to them…and in the end, to you. There are some pieces of our past that are better left unsaid and kept to ourselves, because living in the past can definitely influence your present life which inevitably can affect your future.

We all carry some wonderful memories of our past, myself included, but I believe that when we “live” in our past, remembering our past relationships, then that is a sign that we’re not happy or content in our relationship now. And that is something to think about.

Be careful when opening the doors to your past; you never know “what” or “who” you’re letting back in. And you never know who it’s going to hurt.

The past is meant to be left in the past; your future lies in your present.

Don’t lose sight of the people you love in your present life by constantly looking back at the people you left behind in your past.

Be grateful for the people you love in your life today…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Podcast 3 – Stay Out Of My Bubble”

“Strength And Weakness”

I wrote this quote many years ago near the end of my 20 year marriage. As I began to heal physically and emotionally from all the turmoil of that, I realized that it was at my moments of anxiety, sadness or depression that he became strong. At first I thought he was showing true signs of kindness, yet in time I realized what was really happening: I was feeding his ego and he was starving my self-esteem. He felt like “the big man” helping the poor, defenseless, broken woman. The woman HE broke. The woman he was abusive to; the woman he told over and over again was stupid and ugly; the woman he told would never be loved by anyone.

And I believed him…until I stopped believing him.

Are you wondering how I stopped believing all that negative stuff he had embedded into my brain? I woke up. I realized that I had allowed him the freedom to treat me that way. I allowed him to speak down to me and allowed him to be disrespectful to me. So, one day I woke up and stopped allowing it, and when I did that the marriage was done and over with.

I went through years of healing myself mentally and emotionally, and of course it was with the help of many spiritual teachers and a wonderful tribe of true friends that I was able to. I’m grateful for each and every one of them.

I learned so much about myself and that loving myself first was the answer to preventing anyone anyone from treating me that way. You’d think it would never happen again, yet I’m human; we’re all human. Sometimes life brings you back to an experience that you thought you had learned the lessons from, yet life knows when you forget the lesson. And the Universe will put a similar experience back into your way until you wake up and realize that what you stopped allowing years ago, you’re allowing once again.

Even after that divorce I would find myself meeting someone whose ego was strengthened by my weakness, and for those that know me, they know I’m anything but weak. It would sporadically happen here and there throughout the years, yet now I’m much more able to recognize it when it’s happening. I’ve learned that those people lack control of their own life so they try and control mine; they lack self-respect and are unable to respect anyone else; they don’t feel strong unless they’re paired up with someone weak.

And I am no longer that girl.

I want to be treated the way I deserve and the way that I treat others: with love, kindness, compassion, consideration and loyalty, and I won’t settle for anything less. I want to be loved for the person I am, quirks and all, because I love the person that I’ve become.

We all have moments of feeling weak and that’s okay; it’s those moments that help us to find our strength again and stand back up on our feet even stronger.

We all have moments of finding ourselves back in a situation that we thought would never return and that’s okay; you’re given that situation to remind you of the lesson you forgot.

And we all find ourselves staring into the mirror, looking at ourselves and wondering how we got here and what happened to us, and that’s okay; keep looking in that mirror long enough and you’ll once again see the person you thought was lost.

It’s those moments of feeling lost that we’re actually finding ourselves again, and we’re finding an even better and stronger version of the person we once were.

Life is about balance and we all fall out of balance every so often. It’s when the world around us is spinning out of control that we see the truth of everything, and it’s in those moments that we find our balance again.

Don’t let anyone make you feel weak; surround yourself with people that make you feel strong.

Don’t spend your precious time feeding someone’s ego; spend your time feeding your self-esteem.

And don’t rely on anyone loving you the way you want to be loved; love yourself that way first and the rest will fall into place.

Everything in your life begins with YOU.

Stop allowing what you don’t want to continue.

Forgive yourself when you forgot a lesson you learned and continue moving forward.

And love yourself.

If you do nothing else, love yourself.

Anything and everything is possible if you begin with love.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~strength and weakness

 

“Who’s In Your Bubble?

My friend, Peg, called me the other day to ask my opinion about a situation. She was feeling hurt over someone crossing her boundaries and in seeing the truth of them: that what she thought them to be wasn’t really who they were. She asked me how to get past that emotion of feeling hurt and betrayed.

I thought about it for a moment and came up with this analogy, one which I hope helps everyone.

Picture your life as a bubble and you’re in the center. Let’s say you’re only allowed 10 people in there with you. If you have 6 positive people and 4 negative in there then it’s full…there are no seats left for any other positive people to get in. Your bubble is full to capacity.

I can’t tell anyone enough that it is your decision of who you allow in your bubble, and you should always love yourself enough to want to surround yourself with positive people: people who are loyal to you, have your back, love and respect you, lift you up, support you, and more importantly, are honest with you. You want to keep your “vibe in the tribe” as positive as possible, because negativity breeds negativity and you don’t want an epidemic of that in your bubble!

So, when you realize there’s some negative people in that bubble and you want more positive people taking their place, do the math. You need to end your relationships with the negative people, wish them love and light, be grateful for the lessons they taught you, and move forward. And when you do that, hard as it may be, you’ve just opened a few more seats up in your bubble and have made room for the positive people to come in.

We all find ourselves in this situation now and again, yet it’s important to understand that these experiences happen to teach us a lesson about ourselves. Each of us has the control of who we allow in our bubble and each of us had a choice of keeping it positive or allowing the negative to take up residence.

Who do you have in your bubble? Is the vibe in your tribe a positive one? Are there more negative than positive people in there with you?

Only you know the answer to those questions and only you can choose what’s best for you.

Think about it.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Everything You Want Begins With You”

 

begins with youI’ve been hearing a lot of grumblings going on out there lately. So many people seem disappointed with their life; they don’t have what they want and they don’t understand why. And here’s why:

“Because everything you want in your life begins with you.”

You have the control and the power to have what you want.

If you want peace in your life then you have to start find the peace within you.

If you want respect from others, you have to respect yourself first.

If you want to be loved you have to love yourself first and in the way that you want to be loved.

If you want to surround yourself with positive people, you have to let go of the negative ones.

If you want a loving and kind life partner, you have to be loving and kind to yourself first.

If you’re unhappy with your job then find a new one or change your attitude about it.

If you’re frustrated that you don’t have as much money as you want, be grateful for what money you do have and decide what you can do to have more.

If you want to learn to trust people you must first trust yourself and your intuition.

If you want to write a book, start typing.

If you want to take a vacation, start saving and planning.

If you want to fulfill your dreams, stop chasing them and begin to catch them.

And if you are unhappy with your life, change it. Turn the page. Move forward. Wish the negative situations and people in it “love and light” and let them go. Love yourself. Believe in yourself. Change your perspective. Keep a positive attitude. Be grateful. Count your blessings. Take a leap of faith and know that everything you want will happen as it should, how it should and when it should.

It all begins with YOU.

My life isn’t perfect, but it’s perfect for me.

And I would bet that yours is too.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Distance Yourself From Negativity”

If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

If it doesn’t sound right, don’t listen.

If it makes you feel uneasy, trust your gut.

If it doens’t make you feel good, then walk away.

If it doesn’t bring out the best in you, then leave it behind.

Beautiful things happen when we distance ourselves from negative people and situations; trust your intuition to guide you towards the positive.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Taking Back Your Power With Forgiveness”

 

 

 

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It’s been a tough week. I was upset and heartbroken over the slanderous comments made on my website. And I was angry. I was angry that someone caused me to feel such strong, negative emotions.

After a day or two of constantly thinking about the “who” behind it all I remembered the lessons I have learned along this journey of life: in order to release the anger and hurt I was feeling I had to forgive them.

And when I forgave them I took back my power and control because I took away their forgiveability to hurt me. Allowing someone to upset you is giving them the power and control to do it, and trust me, they know that. They know that they “got to you” and they revel in it. They actually enjoy it. And they’ll keep doing it to you until you stop letting it get to you.

Listen, it’s a hard thing to forgive someone who hurt you. All I wanted to do in the last few days was to call her and talk it over. Yet while that sounds like a sensible answer to the problem, I knew deep down inside that it would provide her with the confirmation she wanted in the first place: that she got to me and she got my attention. It would have been confirmation to me that I allowed her to.

And I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give her the power and control over my life and my emotions just because they don’t have control over their own.

It’s sad to know that there are people like that in the world, yet this is why I write what I do. I try to change someone’s perspective on how they see the world; I try to show them that kindness is key; and I try to share the lessons I’ve learned on how to be the best person you can be. I share the lessons I’ve learned on forgiveness, on the importance of loving yourself, and that anything and everything you want in this life is possible if you believe in yourself.

Good things come from good energy and emotions. Negativity breeds negativity, and positivity breeds positivity.

I’m not out to change anyone. I write my life experiences to show others that there is always hope and that we can change if we want to. I try to share with others that I learned that when you want something in your life to change that that change begins with YOU.

I’m not about rules or telling anyone what to do. I’m just a girl who wants to make a positive impact on another person’s life, because if I can do that, there will be a positive impact on the people that surround them.

I took this unpleasant and hurtful experience and turned it into a lesson of strength. I used it to write what needs to be written: the truth. I used this pain and turned it into one of peace in my forgiveness towards them.

Those comments fueled the fire within me to stand up for myself and to stand in my truth. I know those comments about me were untrue and I never should have let them hurt me, yet the pain brought more: it made me stronger and even more determined to make a positive impact in the world.

This girl is on fire and my mission is to keep writing about kindness, respect, forgiveness and strength. I’m on fire to write about taking back the control and power that I had so easily given to someone else, because the truth is, we should NEVER give that away. Yet it happens by a comment or a hurtful action by another.

I’ve learned that the next time that happens I will stand in my truth and not allow them to cause me any negative feelings. No one will ever take away my power again and I will be diligent in keeping my emotions and my life in MY control.

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult, yet most powerful tools we can use. Forgiveness will free YOU from the negative feelings that someone caused you. Forgiveness will give you peace in knowing that you let it go…and hopefully, you let THEM go as well.

Wish them love and light and pray for their own healing…and then drop it.

Move forward.

Never let anyone steal your power and control. Never let them know they caused you the pain that they had hoped they would.

Forgive them.

Forget them.

And remember, no one can hurt you unless you let them.

From this day forward, this girl is on fire and I won’t stop until I’ve made the difference in this world that I hope and want to make.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

 

“Stay Out Of My Bubble”

I’m up much earlier than usual and the moment my eyes opened,  my mind was filled with a million and one thoughts. The last seven days have been filled with a whirlwind of emotions, from happiness and contentment to sadness and heartache. Last night the proverbial “black cloud” lifted, yet this morning all I can think of is: Why did this happen and what does it all mean?

I’d like to say that I didn’t see it coming, although what I didn’t see were the exact situations coming, yet as an empath and intuitive person, I knew something wasn’t right. I could feel something “not so good” coming soon. I didn’t know my exact emotions or what or who would be involved, but I felt an uneasiness down to my toes. I knew that something was going to happen…and it did.

No matter the feelings I was experiencing, I went on with my life as usual. I felt content and happy, yet no matter how much writing, cooking or mindless tasks filled my day, the feeling was still there. And it all blew and came to a head a week ago. Each situation happened without warning and I was blindsided as to “what the hell happened.” I knew I didn’t do anything terrible, although my habit of talking too much and repeating things certainly didn’t help. Yet still, I knew all of this wasn’t caused by me.

So there I was, caught in the middle of the madness, in the middle of not understanding “why,” and in the middle of emotions and situations caused by outside forces. In other words, toxic people and negative energy got in. They got into my happy little bubble and caused pain, heartache and sadness. But how do you keep all of those negative things out of “your bubble?”

I used to despise the word “bubble.” I’ve written about “life in a bubble” years ago, and never portrayed it as a positive thing. You see, during my second marriage my “then husband” became jealous, suspicious, negative, controlling and toxic. He watched my every move, both in and out of the house, listened to every phone call I made, and broke into my emails and social media accounts. I hated it because I wasn’t doing anything wrong; it was all in his mind. The marriage ended sooner than it began and I used to say “I can’t stand being in this bubble he put me in.” And at that time, the phrase fit. I was in a bubble of all negative things and I was drowning.

I don’t see it that way anymore, and that’s because throughout all the years that have passed since that time, I’ve grown as a person, understood my emotions and myself more, and have been on an incredible spiritual path…one of learning and understanding. I learned to surround myself with positive people and to keep my distance from the toxic ones and the dark and heavy energy that hung onto them. I began to see my life as “a bubble,” yet it wasn’t a bubble of control, it was a bubble of safety. It wasn’t a bubble that kept me a prisoner, but one that kept my loved ones and me safe. It was a bubble filled with love and joy, happiness and peace; a bubble filled with good people and positive energy; it was a bubble filled with all things best for my Highest Good.

Some may call it their “circle” around them; I choose “my bubble.”

Last night the black cloud lifted and this morning I find myself feeling a bit more at peace, yet I know that there’s work to be done, questions to be answered, and healing to begin.

You see, outside influences can sneak in to our minds, causing us anger, frustration and pain. These influences can come in the form of a job, a boss, a co-worker, a friend, a family member, or they come in as what they are: toxic, negative, and filled with dark energy. We begin to feel all these negative emotions because of them and release all that dark stuff onto those around us: those they live in the bubble with us.

It’s human behavior and sometimes life sneaks up on us and takes control where control isn’t needed or wanted.

We are in control of what we allow and what we feel, yet when we allow outside influences to affect our relationships in our life, trust me, there will be a reaction, and not usually the one you want.

I couldn’t understand where all the anger was coming from because it wasn’t coming from me, yet after a week of it the truth came out: an outside influence got in. My peace came from knowing the “truth.”

Surround yourself with all that is good; keep all your relationships strong with love and joy; speak and feel your truth and share it with those you love when it becomes overwhelming to you. Build your “bubble” with love, joy, happiness, truth, peace and most importantly: positive energy and positive people.

And last but not least, to all of you outside influences that are nothing but negative and toxic, I have but one thing to say to you: “STAY OUT OF MY BUBBLE!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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