loveyourlife

“What Now With New Beginnings”

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“Journey is over, the battle is won. A new chapter starting, a new day begun, 

So what do I do know? Where do I start?

Do I take the road known or less traveled and follow my heart?

Life is always changing, it’s time to turn the page,

The story continues and it’s mine to create.

So what do I do now? Where do I go?

Do I let my mind lead me backwards in time or move ahead slow?”

What now with new beginnings? What now with the old life behind? What now that I’m starting over, no clue, no reason, no rhyme.

Time to change my thinking,

Time to lose the fear,

The Universe is watching, that’s what brought me here.

It’s all an adventure, my life is a song.

I know where I’ve been, not where I’m going but I’m dancing along.”

Aside from writing books, I also write song lyrics and this is one that I wrote about my journey with breast cancer. Yet it’s not only about that; it’s about endings and the beautiful new beginnings that follow. It’s about leaving the past behind and moving forward. It’s about creating the life you want. It’s about changing your perspective.  It’s about losing the fear and taking a leap of faith.

And it’s about embracing the journey of a beautiful new beginning.

It’s all an adventure so dance along the journey.

It’s a good thing!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The Lesson In Disappointment”

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A week from today I was supposed to fly to California. It’s a trip I’ve been looking forward to ever since I booked my flight over a month ago. Aside from my “happy place” at the Jersey Shore where I live, Malibu is my other “happy place.” The energy there is amazing and for some reason, I feel like I’m “home” when I’m there. Two years ago I spent a week in a Malibu beach house where I finished my book, “Waking Up.” I did some of my best writing there and it was an intense soul searching time for me as well. This trip was important to me, not only because I’d be in a place I love, but because I’d be seeing my oldest son (who I haven’t seen in over a year), my Nike Nephews and would be writing and working on another book.

Over the last few days my intuition was screaming to me: “It’s not the time to go.” And that thought stuck in my head for days. My sister called me two days ago and said that she had a bad feeling about me going and that I should go another time. She also told me to remember what I always say: Everything happens for a reason. And if there’s one thing I believe in with all my heart and one I tell others is this: trust your intuition because it never lies.

So yesterday morning I had to make an adult, big girl, responsible, smart decision…and they’re not the most fun to make. I cancelled my trip. And to say I was disappointed is an understatement, yet I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. There were too many factors popping up in the last week and I knew days ago that I would have to decide whether to go or not. I don’t like when things get complicated and this trip was beginning to get more and more complicated.

I went to the hairdresser in the morning feeling disappointed and sad and I ran errands feeling disappointed and sad. Those feelings stuck with me all day, yet once I was in the comfort of my home the tears came. The tears started late in the afternoon and continued until I fell asleep. They came in waves over dinner, and came as sobs during my bath. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears; I felt sad, disappointed and broken and I kept wondering “Why did this happen to me?”

And then the answers came through the questions in the tears: because you needed to learn something….and I did.

I remembered what it is I always tell people, and when I heard Elizabeth Gilbert say it I had confirmation that it’s true: set your priorities, make boundaries around your sacred space, and learn to say no.

And that’s true…and I know that, yet I forgot that.

My lesson was that I had lost sight of my priorities, I was allowing people to cross my boundaries, and I was saying “yes” to things I should have been saying “no” to.

So yes, I had a day of sadness and disappointment, of feeling broken, but I knew I had to go through it and get through it and I did. My soul needed to cry long and hard to let go of what I was feeling.

I sit here this morning with a headache and swollen eyes, yet knowing I learned a lesson the hard way…and an important lesson at that.

My point to you is don’t feel badly for having a down day; they happen for a reason and that reason, more often than not, teaches you something that’s for your Highest Good. Sometimes it’s those “dark” days that enable us to see the “light.” Feel what you have to, learn the lesson, and let it go.

Sometimes our biggest disappointments teach us our greatest lessons.

And I’m good with that.

Because this is life…

And it’s a part of the journey. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

disappointment

“Let Life Love You”

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love your life

This morning I woke up to blue skies and bright sunshine, which is a day far and few between here at the Jersey lately!

I grabbed my coffee and headed outside to take it all in. It’s in those quiet moments that I think to myself how much I love my life and how many blessings I truly have to count.

And I remembered that the more I love my life, the more it loves me back!

Love your life, my friends, and let it love you back.

It’s filled with endless possibilities, miracles and all the love you can imagine!

Try it.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Your Imperfections Make You Beautiful”

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I believe in positive affirmations; trying to always see the positive rather than focusing on the negative. I know the power of words and the wrong words, or negative words, can have a strong impact on you and the person you say them to.

Listen, no one is perfect, least of all me, but I would rather lift someone up with positive words than bring them down by telling them their faults. In fact, if you want to see someone change into the awesome person they truly are, speak kindly to them, tell them their strengths, share how you feel about them with them, and focus on the good things about them, not the negative.

Our imperfections make us beautiful. Our flaws make us flavorful. Our quirks make us memorable.

I’ve raised five children and if you think there haven’t been things they’ve done that bother me, well, you’re kidding yourself. I love them with all my heart and for who they are, yet I would rather tell them what I love about them and what their strengths are rather than tell them their faults, such as “you left the wet towel on the floor again, why don’t you put the cap on the toothpaste and…” and so on.

And as the children have grown as well as myself, I pick my battles. I try and lift everyone in my life up; I try never to pick at the small things because there are so many more big and wonderful things about them. Sometimes it’s those silly things that bother us that we’ll miss one day.

If you continually point out someone’s faults to them, I can promise you they’re going to shut down because what you’re telling them is that you don’t accept them for who they are; that all you see is their faults; that you say you love them but they won’t feel it because all you do is pick at what you don’t like about them rather than telling them what you do.

If you’re consistently looking for perfection from the people in your tribe then you’ll be disappointed. If you can’t see more good than bad in the people you surround yourself with then leave them.

Ask yourself this: how would you feel if the people you love were constantly picking at you and expressing the negative things about you? Would you begin to shut down? Would you stop caring? Would you feel as badly as they were making you feel?

It’s simple: treat the people in your life the way you want to be treated.

Pick your battles; accept the people you love for who they are, not who you want them to be; and lift them up with positive words because the negative words you speak to them will bring them down and will only hurt you as well in the end.

See the good and stop seeing the bad.

Pick your battles, my friends, please pick your battles.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“I Wish You Enough”

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A good friend of mine reminded me of this poem this morning. It’s a reminder to be grateful for both the good days and the bad; that without the bad days we’d never know what a good day was; that without feeling sadness we’d never know joy; that without a moment of feeling weakness we’d never know the feeling of strength.

Every day you wake up is a good day, and all the emotions you feel throughout it are a gift…a gift of life lessons; a gift to learn more about yourself; a gift to see your life as it truly is.

The “down days” happen to remind us how many more “good days” we truly have to count, and they remind us that it won’t be like that forever, just for that day.

Embrace every day, good or bad; embrace your emotions, happy or sad; embrace the lessons you’re being taught.

No one’s feelings are ever wrong, they just “are.” Sometimes there are reasons for the down days, sometimes there’s not. And that’s okay. We’re all human. Just be sure you don’t sit in those down days for long. Feel them, cry through them and let it all out…tears are cleansing our soul of all that we hold inside, and there’s nothing wrong with that…in fact, tears are our release, whether in sadness or in joy.

Feel what you have to feel and take those down days, be grateful for their lessons, then release them, let them go, and move forward into the new day ahead.

It’s a good thing. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

i wish you enough

“On Meeting Elizabeth Gilbert”

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I’ve always loved the author, Elizabeth Gilbert. I’ve read most of what she’s written yet I have to say that her one book, which turned into a movie starring Julia Roberts, was my favorite, and that was the infamou “Eat, Pray, Love.” It’s a true story of her life at that point in her journey and one that I learned many life lessons from.

Another book she wrote, “Big Magic” is my second favorite because, as a writer, I understand all that she speaks of and writes about.

So when the opportunity came up a few weeks ago to see her speak in person, I jumped at the chance.

As a writer, I’ve always wanted to meet her and share my own books with her, but basie 4opportunities to do that are far and few in between. I’ve held onto the thought, actually, “the dream” of meeting her one day, and I’ve held that dream for many, many years.

As a spiritual person I knew that if my meeting her was meant to happen, it would, and it would happen as it should, how it should and when it would. So it was no surprise that in February a post from Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey appeared on my Facebook newsfeed: Elizabeth Gilbert would be speaking there. I knew I needed to get tickets and if that wasn’t enough, the event was being held  on my birthday! It was at moment that I knew the Universe had set this dream of mine up to become a reality…my patience and continued belief that I would meet her someday was paying off.

I proceeded directly to “purchase tickets” and much to my surprise and excitement found that I could buy tickets which also allowed a “meet and greet” with Liz. My head was spinning and my heart skipping beats as I realized that this dream of mine was coming true…that I would finally get to meet one of my “hero’s” of literature. I purchased the tickets and sat with the biggest grin on my face for the rest of the night…actually for everyday that was one day closer to that night.

As the time was quickly approaching I was beginning to get a bit nervous, after all, basiemeeting a “hero” can either be wonderful or a shot in the arm. What we perceive people to be through their books and social media does not always ring true when you meet them. I hoped upon hope that she would be everything I had imagined…

And she was…and she was more than I had imagined.

My love and I were about fifth in line to meet her. I knew she wasn’t signing any of her books that night, but had hoped she would accept my two books as my birthday gift to her!

Her staff took my coat and pocketbook, as well as my cell phone so that they could take pictures.  My heart was racing as I walked toward her. It was such a surreal moment of seeing her and walking towards this woman whose books had changed my life. As I approached her,  she smiled, said “hello,” and embraced me in a hug, one filled with all the love and light she is…and with an incredible amount of energy!

liz gilbertShe spent about five minutes speaking with me and graciously accepted my books. I told her that it was my birthday, to which she wished me a wonderful one, and that I had just reached my four year breast cancer survivor date. I offered my condolences over the loss of her wife, Rayya, and told her how much she meant to me. She took the time to pose for several pictures with me and I was on my way.

I was in heaven…on Cloud Nine, if you will. And so was every other person that had the chance to meet her that night.

It was time for her to speak so we took our seats in the fourth row. I snapped picturebasie 2 after picture and hung onto every profound word she spoke. Meeting her was a dream come true, yet I had one more opportunity to speak “one on one” from the audience with Liz. She had time for a few questions and I was right up in line in front of a microphone asking her mine. I felt as though it was a private conversation between the two of us, even though there was an entired audience sharing in it!

It was truly the most perfect birthday I’ve ever had, and that energy, that feeling of my dream coming into a reality lasted well past that night…once again an experience with Elizabeth Gilbert changed me a bit, put a few things in a different perspective, and made me want to be as good a writer as she is and be able to touch a life and the world in the laid back, easy going, and honest way that she does.

So if you were to ask me what she was like I would tell you this: She was beautiful, humble, kind, compassionate, honest, down to earth, sweet, warm, loving and an amazing human being to be in the presence of.

Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert, for being all that I had hoped and more; for putting the real you out there for the world to see, not some facade of what the world wants you to be; and for embracing me, speaking with me, and accepting my two books that I’ve written, and two books which carry a lot of lessons I’ve learned from you.

It was my honor, my privilege, and my dream turned into a reality to meet you.

And that is my experience on meeting Elizabeth Gilbert.

It was one I will never forget.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

elizabeth and me

 

 

“Making A Living Or Making A Life”

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Let’s face it, we need money to survive: to pay the bills, the rent or the mortgage, put food on the table and to keep clothes on our backs. We need money to do this and most of us will do what it takes to do that for our families. We work full-time or part-time, and take the overtime that’s offered to us. We work and we work to do all those things…those “responsible” things.

On the other hand, how much do we need? Do we need all those things that we work so hard to get? Or is there a balance between what we have to do to make a living to afford those things or do we do what we have to do to make a life to appreciate and spend time with the people we’re busy making a living for?

There’s a quote that reads like this: “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to have a life.”

And that’s an important thought to think about.

I know it’s important to be able to make a living, but more often than not, I see people so busy and exhausted making that living that there’s nothing left of them to enjoy the life it affords…or the people that they love who support them to make that living.

Do we work until exhaustion because of our ego and self-esteem? Do you feel like “more of a man” when you work more than 40 hours a week? Does it make you feel like more of an “empowered woman” when you work all week and on weekends? Is all that work outside of what is really necessary about our self-esteem?

We seem to live in a society that is built upon making money and “having it all,” yet I’ve seen a shift in society as well. Everyone is working more than normal but looking for answers as to what their life is missing; they feel a void, fatigue, and moments of “is this is as good as it gets.?”

But think about it: you put that pressure on yourself. No one is asking you to spend 50 or 60 hours a week working your ass off to pay for the unnecessary things in life; you put that pressure on yourself. No one is asking you to work until the point of exhaustion that you can’t enjoy your life filled with family or friends; you made that choice. No one is asking you to get so busy making a living that you don’t have the time or energy to have a life; you made that decision.

Life doesn’t go on forever; neither does a job or career. In fact, the job and career most often times will end long before the life.

And life is short, life is precarious, and life is unsure.

We’re not promised another day; we’re not promised a job.

We’re not promised time; we’re not promised job security.

We’re not promised that our loved ones will always be there; we’re not promised that the job will either.

The people who love us want to spend time with us; the job wants us to spend time working.

The people who care about us want us to be well and happy and enjoy life; the job wants us to be well and happy so that we can do their work.

The people we are making a life with want that life to be filled with memories; the job wants that life to be filled with hours that don’t make a memory, but fill a quota.

The people you love are the life; the job is just a living.

The people who love you don’t lay you off or replace you for someone better; the job does.

The people who love you want to spend time with you; the job wants you to spend time working overtime.

The people who love you don’t need anything from you, they simply want “you”; the job doesn’t want you, they need what they can get from you.

And the people who love you, RESPECT you, and care about your well-being will understand when you say “no” to them because you’re exhausted or need to simply “be;” the job doesn’t take “no” for an answer because they don’t respect you or care about your well-being, they care about you doing what they want.

Life is so short, so unpredictable, and so precarious; days aren’t promised and neither is the job. So while you need to make a living to pay the bills, don’t forget to make a “life.” And make that life with the people that appreciate you, love you, and are part of that “life” you are living.

In the end, the job won’t be there to take care of you if you’re hurt; the job won’t understand when you’re too exhausted to work overtime; the job won’t care if something happens to you because they’ll find someone else to replace you.

The ones who love you will always care because they know that you can’t be replaced.

And “making a life” is all about surrounding yourself with the people who love you; it’s about enjoying every day and every moment; it’s about making memories and of hearts taking pictures.

Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to have a life.

Learn to say “no” when you need to…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“Always Stay Humble and Kind”

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I wanted to share this song by Tim McGraw with you. It’s called “Humble and Kind” and truly has an inspiring message for everyone. Please take a moment to listen to it and read through the lyrics below. There’s a strong message of how the world can change and lives can be happier if we simply remember our roots and live by being”humble and kind.” I hope you enjoy it!

“Humble and Kind”

“You know there’s a light that glows by the front door
Don’t forget the keys under the mat
When childhood stars shine, always stay humble and kind
Go to church cause your momma says to
Visit grandpa every chance that you can
It won’t be wasted time
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door, say please, say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

Don’t expect a free ride from no one
Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why
Bitterness keeps you from flying
Always stay humble and kind
Know the difference with sleeping with someone
And sleeping with someone you love
I love you ain’t no pick up line so
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door say please say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

When it’s hot, eat a root beer popsicle
Shut off the ac and roll the windows down
Let that summer sun shine
Always stay humble and kind
Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you’re goin’
Don’t forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind.”

~Tim McGraw~

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Rules: Break Them Or Change Them?”

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Rules are in place for a reason, especially when it pertains to a job. They are not meant to be broken, yet sometimes they need to be changed for the best interest of the company, the employee, and the family behind the employee.

I worked for a large company years ago and saw a need to “change” the rules a bit when it came to the employees and boosting their morale. Parties were not something the company smiled upon as they believed it would take the employees out of the “work mode” and into a “party mode.” I thought differently so I went to the head of the company and explained my idea.

I told him that as a supervisor I wanted my staff to love their job, as a happy employee promotes greater work from them. The people I was supervisor to were hard workers, yet there were days I listened to them complain about the job and how they felt they weren’t appreciated. My idea was simple: on the first day of each season we would have a party: seasonal foods, decorations and dress. There was a strict dress code within the company and I thought that four times a year that could be lifted, and that a party for each season would bring the staff closer to one another and would most assuredly boost their morale.

The rule was never to have such parties, and I didn’t want to break them, but I thought it was worth the attempt to “change” them. After all, some rules have been in place for many years and as life changes, so should some of the rules.

And the “change” was approved.

And every employee was excited over the first party I had planned.

The first one was our “Welcome to Summer” party. Each employee decorated their work area with beach towels, flip flops, pails and shovel, seashells and palm trees. They dressed in “summer” clothes; shorts, Hawaiian shirts and sandals. There were even a few beach chairs and umbrellas decorating the office. Each person brought in a summer dish to share with their unit: there was fruit salad, potato and macaroni salad, pasta salad and more! We played Beach Boys music and had a day of fun together and a day of everyone still getting their work done…and completed with perfection.

The day was filled with smiles, laughter, singing and getting to know each other better…and it was filled with happiness.

So you see, the rules that are in place aren’t meant to be broken, but are certainly worth the effort to attempt to “change” them for the best interest of everyone involved. I know from experience that not every rule will be chanegd, yet it’s certainly worth it to try.

It was worth it for me.

And it was worth it for my staff.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“On Board A Tanker”

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tanker

Every so often Rob takes me to a sailing with him. His job as a ship agent takes him to many ports on the shores of New York and New Jersey and it’s exciting to go to work with him and see what he does. It’s also cool to be up close to these giant sized ships.tanker 5

Our adventure last weekend began at 8am on Saturday morning. We drove to a port in Newark so that he could board an orange juice ship. I sat in the car near the water’s edge and watched him as he walked through the gates and up the gangway. It’s an amazing sight to see the  crew members walking along the top of this massive ship…and it’s pretty cool to know that it’s delivering orange juice!

tanker 6 lunch

Our view for lunch in Staten Island

We left Newark and drove to the launch in Staten Island where he was scheduled to board a tanker carrying petro. It was near lunch time so we stopped at a local Italian deli and took our food to a park nearby; it was beautiful to be eating lunch by the water with the skyline of New York City as our view. We finished eating and headed to the launch.

The person behind the desk was waiting for Rob to show them the paperwork to get a launch boat to take him to the tanker waiting for him in New York harbor. He asked if I could get on the launch with him and they said “yes.” I thought I was just taking a ride to the ship and was a bit surprised, and scared, to know that I could board the tanker with him. The gangway that led up the side of the ship was more than 50 steps high; Rob climbed up in front of me quickly and with ease; I climbed up behind him slowly and cautiously. We got on the ship and had to climb up and down more ladders, signed in with a crew member and proceeded to the captain’s office.

tanker 2

My view from the bridge

The captain and crew were from India. At first they seemed a bit quiet and reserved while Rob did all the necessary paperwork with them, and then I began to ask questions (as only a writer will do!) I asked the captain and the crew  what they do while they’re at sea to pass the time. He told me that they watch television, read, relax, and spend time together yet he did tell me that this type of tanker doesn’t allow any alcohol on board for safety reasons. No beer, no wine, no anything. The captain said it doesn’t bother them and that no one misses it.

He began to tell me that he’s at sea for four months, then home for four, then the cycle starts all over again, and keep in mind, he’s been a captain for over 15 years. He told me that he’s married with three young children. I asked him how his time away from home affected his marriage. He told me that his wife likes the four months of handling the money and being in charge of the household, and that she has a “to do list” ready for him when he gets home.

And then he told me something that surprised me yet melted my heart. He said that “even though my wife and I are apart for four months, each time I go home is like the first time and it’s as if we fall in love all over again. It’s still exciting and we make the most of our time together until I leave again.”

Wow…he’s not only a ship captain, he’s a hopeless romantic.

Before we left the captain was gracious enough to show me the bridge and give us a tour.

I learned a lot on that ship last weekend.

I learned that no matter where anyone is from there is a universal language of love.

I learned that we’re all connected in some way.

I learned that everyone truly does have a story.

And I learned that my love for people, their stories and trying new things is far greater than my fear of climbing up the side of a ship on a gangway.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

*For more information on the job description of a ship agent, you can search this website for my story  “A Day In The Life Of A Ship Agent.”

 

 

 

 

tanker 3