How is the second day of the New Year treating everyone? I hope it finds you well. As for me, that nasty little virus found its’ way to my door and I’ve been dealing with it for the last few days. I’m missing all the energy I usually have but this bug decided to make me extremely tired and give me a little fever to fight off every day. No worries, I’m resting, taking it easy and letting it run its course. As all things in life, this too shall pass.
I forgot all about this poem that I wrote that’s published in my book, “Each Breath Along The Journey.” I hope you enjoy it and my wish for you is that this year of 2022 is being kind to you.
“Resolutions are promises you don’t often keep. Revelations are lessons you learn that can change your life.”I learned that the only way for my life to change in the New Year was to think about the lessons that the year had taught me. Those lessons became my “New Year Revelations.”
Every year I notice that as the New Year approaches, people start talking about their “resolutions.” There’s things they want to do and things they want to change in their life so they make a list of “resolutions.”
I threw that concept out years ago because to me, resolutions were nothing more than making promises to myself that I couldn’t keep. They were goals for sure, but seriously, how many of us actually stick to those resolutions? I always tried, failed at some, then beat myself up for not doing what I had wanted.
So, years ago I realized that the only way for my life to change was by learning the lessons that life had handed me, learning from my mistakes, and learning from my experiences, and so I decided to have my “New Year’s Revelations!” I ask myself some important questions throughout the month of December: What opened my eyes this past year? What did I learn about myself? What type of people am I surrounding myself? Am I taking care of myself and loving myself enough or giving too much of myself away? And what do I need to let go of that has no place in the New Year coming up and in my life?
These are the questions to ask yourself and answer honestly. You see, when you have those “revelations” about yourself and the year that’s about to come to an end, you take those lessons and truths with you. When you do that, the New Year will open the door to endless possibilities. Don’t put added stress on yourself by making “resolutions.”
Take the time to think about your “revelations” and begin the New Year in a positive light. All things are possible if you just believe in yourself!
Here’s to an awesome 2022! Happy New Year, my loves!
And just like that, my staycation is over and I’m back at work. And life seems to be back to where it was before the staycation as well. As for me? I’m pushing myself to remember the girl that I had forgotten about until that time alone. I’m being diligent about not letting that girl go so far away again. And I don’t want to forget that amazing time of writing like I used to, of feeling sure of myself, of truly letting the “real me” shine through.
Life is a funny, wonderful, crazy thing. We live it in our day to day routines, not noticing much until we’re given the time to notice, to remember, to be who we are. And I won’t give that up.
We spend so much time doing the same things every day that we forget to take the time and “make” the time to notice the people in our lives, the beauty that surrounds us, and more importantly, we forget about ourselves. We forget why we’re here. We forget who we are. We forget to love ourselves.
Yes, my staycation is over. Yes, I’m back at work. Yes, my old life seems to be creeping into the life that I found during that short period of time.
But I’m not going to forget how I felt, what I learned, and what I want to do from here on in.
My staycation changed me yet it brought out the best in me.
I found myself.
And I’m not going to let that girl go again.
Pay attention, my loves, to the world and the life that surrounds you.
More importantly, pay attention to “you,” because you are amazing and “you” have the ability to change the world.
It’s the day after Christmas and I’ve taken the day off from cooking, baking and all other holiday tasks and relaxed. I missed having my children home but I did make a beautiful Christmas dinner for my parents and spent time with them, yet it’s my mom that is in my mind today.
My mom and I have had a strained relationship most of my life yet as she gets older and I get older, I believe that we have a newfound respect for one another. I love my mom and always felt that I never measured up, never pleased her, and never made her proud. Yet I’ve learned to understand her and take into account the life she lived as a child and as she became a mom.
That’s the thing as our parents get older, we see things differently and begin to understand them in a whole new way. I needed to find forgiveness for the mistakes that my mom made because I’ve made mistakes of my own. I needed to understand that my mom was young once with her own heartache from losing her dad at the age of 7 and being raised by a single mom. And I needed to know and accept that she did the best that she could, because she really did try to do her best and she still does.
And I understand all of that now because I’m a mom who has tried to do the best she could, mistakes and all. I understand my mom now because I’m a mom and because I realized that she was also a person who was trying to live her life the best that she could.
This Christmas I may have been missing my children yet I also realized that in time I’ll be missing my mom, and I don’t want to miss any chance of that time we have together.
I love these pictures that were taken of my mom and I on Christmas night. We laughed a lot and I am so grateful for the time we spent together last night. Apologies to my dad for no pictures but this was all about my mom and me.
Moments we spend with those we love are meant to be treasured and I am holding the memories of last night tight in my heart.
I am grateful to have spent Christmas night with my parents, especially with my mom.
Life is precious. Embrace it. Love one another. And please, be kind.
And just like that, my Christmas plans have changed. None of my children will be home as we had all planned, thanks to a tricky virus that seems to be running rampant lately. I’m disappointed but have to be honest in telling you that I was beginning to worry about two of them flying right now and one is getting over having this little bug.
I’m sad that they won’t be home. It’s the first Christmas I’ve ever spent without even two of them home.
This was supposed to be my “Christmas Miracle,” having them all together with me again but the Universe had other plans and I understand that. Still, it would have been the greatest gift for me to be together with all of them.
And I truly believe that Christmas lives within our hearts, remembering the memories of Christmas past and making memories of Christmas “present.” Whether we’re together or apart, my children will always be the Christmas that lives in my heart.
This “staycation” has certainly been good for me because if I hadn’t had this time to myself I probably would have been more upset and sad about it all week. And I haven’t been. I’m glad they made decisions in their best interest and in my parents and in mine.
Christmas will be quiet, as was Thanksgiving, but I’m grateful to have another one. I’m grateful that I had this “staycation.” I’m grateful for the peace I’ve found this week.
I helped an older gentleman at my job today. He gave me three bottles of perfume. I told him that it wasn’t necessary but he insisted. I thanked him and he said to me, “I wanted to give you something because you have been so kind to me. And I thank you for that.”
My heart melted.
And I thought, “How often do we tell someone that they’re kind?” We may thank someone for doing something kind for us, but do we actually thank them for being kind? I’ll tell you, that man made my day. I didn’t need the perfume. But I guess I needed to hear that I was kind.
Thank you, sir. You gave this writer something to think about.And write about.Such a simple act of kindness with a very big impact.
Let’s keep spreading kindness and start acknowledging that kindness in others.
Thank you to all of you who support me in such a beautiful way.
So, I did a “thing” today. I signed the contracts with my publisher to do another book! This one is way different than what I’ve written before and definitely a bit out of my comfort zone but I am so excited to be back under contract and ready to get published. Sometimes I need the pressure of a deadline to get myself moving. I believe with all my heart that this is going to be part of my moving forward in my life.
It’s been a wonderful “staycation” so far, one filled with changes and decisions and I’ll say it again, I’m grateful for the time to do so.
Life is precious and as I get older I realize just how precious it is. No day should be wasted, no minute should be wasted. There’s so many things I want to do before my last breath is taken and now is the time to do what it takes to do them.
It feels good to be back to being “me.” I missed her.
As I end this post I say this to all of you:
Forgive those who have hurt you and forgive yourself.
Have no regrets because mistakes are to be learned from and make us a better person.
Love hard and love long.
Laugh as often as you can.
Mean what you say but don’t be mean when you say it.
Your actions will always speak louder than your words. Choose them wisely.
And every day that you’re blessed to have another day to do it better than before, spend it with your loved ones or be aware of the beauty that surrounds you, be grateful.
It took me over 30 minutes to get the ice and snow off my car this morning but after that I was on my way to work, driving my favorite route: the beach. It was quite a beauty this morning. It’s almost an anomaly to see snow on the sand but one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. It’s haunting yet picturesque. It’s a look that you don’t see often so when you’re lucky enough to see it then you know you’re blessed to have seen something so amazing.
Sometimes our days begin in an awesome way until something trips us up and puts us in a funk, a down mood, so to speak. I had just that type of morning. In the midst of accounting and invoices I found myself feeling sad. I know what caused it but more importantly, I had to figure out why. I wasn’t going to talk about it until I figured out why a certain incident caused me to feel so badly. And that’s where I am tonight. I don’t want to talk about it with anyone until I’ve figured out why I let it bother me.
The key is not to react to whomever may have invoked these feelings within us, but rather look inwards to ourselves to understand and figure out WHY we had those feelings. And that is what my Friday night is tonight, taking a good look inward at my heart and soul to see what I’m really upset about. Was it what was said? Or was it about how I felt about what was said?
And that’s up to each of us. We need to understand that our feelings, no matter how they were invoked, are OUR feelings and only WE know why we feel that way. This is why it’s important not to react but rather to take it in and think about it. My feelings tonight are MINE and mine alone. I know what upset wasn’t meant to intentionally upset me but sadly, it did. I don’t blame the person who said it but would rather spend my time tonight alone thinking about WHY it upset me. And once I can do that, I’ll be able to say that I learned something else about myself, and isn’t that what life is all about? Learning about ourselves, the why’s and the how’s, and figuring out what to do with all of that.
I’m learning not to blame the messenger but to understand the message and deal with it.
Life is always changing and we are always learning more and more about ourselves, if we’re open to learning, not blaming. And isn’t that what our down days are all about? Learning, not blaming. Understanding, not judging. Accepting, not allowing.
I love life more than I can tell you, the good days and the bad. I know that they all came to teach me, help me, and move me forward. And my hope is that you see your life as a gift, not a burden, no matter what it hands you.
As for me? My Friday night is filled with a hot bath, a cup of lavender tea, and a martini glass filled with tears and understanding.
Good night, my loves. May life be good to you and may you take those “down days” as your life lesson on how to turn them into your “up days!”
“Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath every feeling there is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.”
I don’t know who wrote this but it sure did make me stop and think about it. I’ve gone through some difficult situations which is why this made perfect sense to me. Our behavior IS the result of our underlying feelings about something.
For example, let’s take a couple with two very different views on their relationship. One person may get upset when the other isn’t sharing information with them or gets defensive when asked a particular question. The behavior is getting “upset,” the feeling beneath that is “feeling left out and hurt,” and the need is “to be included.”
And then there’s the reaction of the person that doesn’t feel the need to share the information or answer the question. The behavior is “anger,” the feeling beneath that is “feeling controlled,” and the need is “to be trusted.”
What a brilliant concept and one that makes perfect sense to me. None of us are perfect yet if we look at the big picture of not just the other person’s behavior’ but our own as well, so much pain, anger, and sadness could be avoided. It’s a chance for healing of the heart. It’s a chance to grow closer together through communication and understanding. And it’s a chance for positive change.
Behavior, feelings and needs. Meet the need rather than focus on the behavior. Deal with the cause, not the symptoms. And above all else, be kind to each other while you do.
The definition of a revelation is “a surprising and previously unknown fact, especially one that is made known in a dramatic way.”
I write about the “New Year’s Revelations” every year and as 2020 is about to end I’m thinking of all that I’ve been through and all that I’ve learned. I’d like to share that with you.
My year began with the launch of my book, “Each Breath Along The Journey,” which brought some amazing opportunities for me: a chance to teach a writer’s workshop in Italy, to write for a local magazine and conduct a weekly workshop. The pandemic hit and every chance I had was suddenly gone.
The pandemic kept me confined to the house and my daily routine was disrupted with everyone else home. I began cooking AND eating three meals a day, and not all the healthiest of choices.
I found myself going back to a job I had left six years ago to work full-time. Suddenly I was out and everyone else was home.
My five year relationship was falling apart and by July it had all changed.
I moved from the house I had been in for 10 years to a 9 month winter rental near the beach.
We’ve all gone through some tough times this year but as I always say “change is a chance to grow.” Some of those changes may be difficult but I always believe everything happens for a reason.
My revelations of 2020 are:
“Resilience.”Disappointment happens and things don’t always go as planned but those disappointments are a chance to do something else with what you’ve got. Sometimes those disappointments turn into your greatest comeback!
“Gratitude.” I learned to embrace the time that the pandemic had forced me to have home with those closest to me. It slowed me down and gave me a greater appreciation for my life and all the things I had taken for granted.
“Health.” Three meals a day equals weight gain so I decided to change all that by joining a program that not only helped me to lose the weight and inches, it’s helped me to sleep better and have more energy. My mind is clear and more focused than ever.
“Blessing.” The job proved to be a good thing for me both mentally and financially.
“Forgiveness.” We were both feeling hurt from all that had happened in our relationship and it forced us to take a good look at ourselves and each other. It’s one day at a time and we continue to work at it.
“Healing.” The move to the beach house proved to be the best place I could have landed at that time in my life. I needed to heal and find my balance again.
And that’s how I’m letting go and saying good-bye to 2020, with my revelations of “resilience, gratitude, blessings, forgiveness and healing.” It’s a good start for 2021 and I’ll be taking those revelations and more into the new year with me.
