life

“The Gypsy”

/ Anne Dennish / 3 Comments

sunflower fields

I  believe that we all have an inner gypsy, and I’m missing mine these days. You know what I’m talking about, that “roll down the windows in the car, hair blowing in the wind, radio blaring, bare feet,  that free kind of feeling.” It’s your inner gypsy and mine has been silent for too long.

My inner gypsy is the girl who dances barefoot in the grass under the full moon, spinninggypsy in circles and releasing all that stuff that no longer serves her; it’s the girl who dances in public, no matter where she is; it’s the girl who flies by the seat of her pants some days, not knowing where she’s going to land; it’s the girl that takes a leap of faith and leaves a life behind to find a better one; it’s the girl who remembers how it feels to be happy and has the nerve to find her happiness again. It’s the girl who was brave enough to find herself again after she had been lost for so long.

I used to be a gypsy a long time ago. These days my “inner gypsy” has been tamed by life and responsibility, but someone came along that reminded me of what I had forgotten.  Sometimes all it takes is one person to come along and make you remember…

“She was embedded in a life for over a decade, yet a few months ago she suffered a loss in her life, and what she did after that shocked and surprised many of us…she left the life she was living. She packed her bags and moved far away, landing in a place surrounded by family and friends, and she never looked back. She woke up one day and realized that all she had in her life wasn’t nearly as much as what she wanted in her life.

She wanted something different; she wanted something new. She longed for excitement and yearned for a sense of peace. She wanted her freedom and the right to make her own choices. She wanted a different life and wanted to be the one in control of it.

And so she did…she left her old life behind and began a new one. She’s finding her joy and her happiness again, step by step, day by day. She embraces the sunshine of a cold winter day, walking and watching all that is around her. She drifts from place to place, landing among those she loves most. Every day brings something new to her and every day she seems to be happier. She found adventure again, and embraces each day and the endless possibilities it has to offer.  She’s a free-spirit in a realistic world and it suits her. She doesn’t settle for less, but searches for more. She doesn’t smile because she has to, but smiles because she wants to. Her happiness comes from within her, not from around her, and while her heart may still be a bit broken over the loss she suffered, she’s putting the pieces back together as only a gypsy can do: in her own way, in her own time.”

I’m blessed to know and love this gypsy; she made me remember a lot of things I had forgotten. She forced me to see beyond my own self and look inside for that “inner gypsy” I once knew. She allows me the privilege of sharing her “inner gypsy” with me and I’m grateful for that, because what I had forgotten she enabled me to remember.

Find your “inner gypsy” and embrace her for all that she taught you and all that she will…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“On A Winters Day”

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winter-1

Yesterday seemed to be one of the coldest days this winter here at the Jersey Shore. Wind chills were blowing way below zero and everything was freezing over…even my “happy place.” Most people would choose to stay indoors, seeking refuge in the warmth of their home. So many of us wait for that first day of sun and warm weather, yet there is beauty to be found here, even in the dead of winter.

The trees haven’t bloomed yet, no flowers are sprouting from the earth, yet if you open your eyes and  mind you can see something magical even in the winter. It’s not a time of “greens and florals,” but a time of frozen tundra and icicles. It’s a beautiful and magical time of year, if you can believe it to be.

“Beauty” is a funny thing; most have a pre-conceived notion of what “beautiful” is, and that usually entails near perfection. Beauty makes us feel good, brings a smile to our face, and allows us to feel joy, yet I can tell you that beauty is to be found everywhere. It can be found at the edge of a frozen river; it can be found in the blue skies of a cold day; it can be found under a tree not yet bloomed, but is perfect to see a sunrise through.

I’ll admit, I love the warm weather and all that it brings, yet until it takes up residence at the Jersey Shore, I choose to embrace the winter and all the beauty that this “once a year” season has to offer. The view is different than it will be in a few weeks, even months from now, yet that is the beauty of the seasons: the distinctive change in the things we see every day. And that’s the perspective I’m talking about: the ability to see the “beauty” in everything.

Here’s to a day of finding “beauty.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

happy-place

Photos by Anne Dennish – copyright 2017

“What Now?”

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“Journey is over, the battle is won.A new chapter starting, a new day begun,

So what do I do now? Where do I start?

Do I take the road known or the one less travelled

Follow my heart.

 

Life is always changing,it’s time to turn the page,

Now the story continues

And it’s mine to create

So what do I do now? Where do I go?

Do I let my mind lead me backwards in time or move ahead slow?

 

What now with new beginnings

What now with the old life behind

What now that I’m starting over

With no clue, no reason, no rhyme.

 

Time to change my thinking

It’s time to lose the fear

The Universe is watching

That’s what brought me here

It’s all an adventure, my life is a song,

I know where I’ve been, not where I’m going

But I’m dancing along.”

I remember the day I wrote the story, which became these lyrics, in my book called “Waking Up.” It was my very last day of treatment for breast cancer, and as I said my good-bye’s to the nurses and staff, I felt a multitude of emotions.

I got in my car and started the long drive home. I felt happy, excited, relieved and a bit scared. All I kept thinking is “now what?” Now what do I do with my life? I had been on a breast cancer journey for over a year and a half, and suddenly it was over. The Cancer Institute had bid me farewell and sent me on my way. What now?

I thought “I know what the last year and a half with cancer was like, but what would it be like without it? Where do I begin to start over without it?”

And so I wrote the entry “What Now” in my breast cancer journal and a year later wrote these song lyrics.

But you know, this song isn’t just for my breast cancer journey; it’s a song for anyone starting over with a new beginning. It’s for anyone who is starting a new life. It’s for someone who has to learn to say “good-bye” to their past in order for the doors to the future to open.

It’s a song for you and a song for me…doors-to-past

It’s scary when something ends and is over, yet you need to find the excitement in the possibility of something even better coming into your life. I can promise you it always does when it’s meant to. Have faith in the Universe and have faith in yourself!

Embrace your day, embrace your new beginning, embrace this life that you are in control of.

The choice is yours…

And I know you’ve got this!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Lyrics by Anne Dennish – Music and Vocals by Sutton Thomas Music copyright 2016

Happy Anniversary “Waking Up”

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Today I celebrate the one year anniversary publication date of my book, “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer.”

I began writing it during my journey with breast cancer. It began as a book of my quotes, which eventually turned into short stories, the topics of which are many: love, family, children, addiction, sexuality, relationships and more. Each story was based on my own personal experience or that of someone close to me, and yes, they’re all true stories.

As I began to put the book together to send to the publisher, I had a last minute thought, which would prove to be the most helpful to some people: I included my breast cancer journal. It was an up-close, personal and very intimate look into my journey with breast cancer.

It took over two years to write “Waking Up,” and when writer’s block was slowing me my malibudown as I neared the end to finish it, a friend offered me the use of her Malibu beach house. I took advantage of the offer and went out there in October of 2015, spending a week writing the last few stories of the book. I had no distractions while there, unless you count my view of the ocean, which was sitting at the bottom of the steps of the house. It was a dream come true to be on the water, watching the waves, listening to the sounds, and being able to walk the beach under a beautiful sunlit sky everyday. I miss that house so much, yet the memories of that time there remain. The last story I wrote for my book was written on the deck of that house and it’s called “Voice of the Ocean.” I finished my book, packed my bags, wrote my name in the sand of that Malibu beach and flew home.anne dennish

The cancer journey ended, but the book hadn’t. It took another year to complete it, and while I was frustrated over the time it was taking, I knew that there was a reason why. I’d find out that reason in February of 2015 when I met the love of my life. He has been my inspiration and my muse ever since, and many of the stories are born out of our love for one another and all that I’ve learned since I met him. You can see why I believe so strongly that “everything happens as it should, when it should, and how it should.”

“Waking Up” was published one year ago today, and of all the things I’ve written over the years, this was truly my most valued piece. What started as a book of quotes turned into something different, yet my intention was always the same: to make a difference in someone’s life. And judging by responses I’ve received during the last year, I’d say that I did.

Thank you to all of you who have supported “Waking Up” throughout the last year! It means the world to me and I couldn’t have done it without you!

Reach for the stars, catch your dreams, and live your life to the fullest!

Dreams really do come true…and that I can promise you!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Copies of “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer” can be purchased online at BarnesandNoble.com, Amazon.com and in most Barnes & Noble stores.

“Someday”

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someday-post

It took having breast cancer to realize just how precious and precarious life really is. I thought I valued every day of my life until I was diagnosed with something that stopped me in my tracks…cancer.  Suddenly, I valued every single minute of every single day. I began to realize just how lucky I was and things I took for granted were now becoming blessings to me.

When you’re going through chemo you have to be careful of chemical cleaners, people who are sick, including your own children, your pets, what you’re breathing, what you’re eating, what kinds of cancer causing chemicals are in your make-up, your shampoo, and the list goes on. I never thought I would miss the mundane things like spring cleaning, but I did. And one of the biggest things I missed was not being able to walk barefoot on the sand or put my toes in the water because if I got a cut it could be serious.

So you can see why I appreciate everything about my life, the good and the bad; it’s because I’ve learned that nothing should ever be taken for granted and that I’m blessed to have this life.

Cancer taught me those things, yet in the last year or two, and in the last several months, it’s all changed again. My family and I have been affected by the loss of loved ones and the diagnosis’ of life changing illnesses. It’s’ been quite a couple of months, yet we’re all here, together, weathering the good days and the bad ones together.

I never thought I could appreciate life or the lives of my loved ones more than I already did, but I’m here to tell you that I do. My life and theirs have become incredibly precious to me and I know first-hand that we never know about tomorrow…we only know about today.

There is no waiting for “someday,” because that’s never promised and I’ve realized that more than ever. I dislike when anyone says “I’ll do it someday, we’ll do it someday, maybe someday,” Actually, I hate to hear that, especially since I’ve lost  loved ones very close to me in the last few years that looked forward to “someday.” They never knew that on that last day of their life, their “someday” was gone.

I don’t wait for “someday” anymore, because there is no “someday, only today,” and today is a gift to me every morning that I wake up to see it. Every day is a gift to live my life to the fullest, love as hard as I can, and laugh at every chance I get.

Tomorrow is never promised and yesterday is already gone, so why wait for “someday” to come, when you can live every day of your life as if your “someday” is today?

Don’t miss out on something great because you’re waiting for something  better to come “someday;” don’t miss out on a lifetime of love because you’re waiting for the “right time for it someday;” don’t miss out on an adventure or an opportunity or a dream because you thought the best timing for it would be “someday.” There’s no time like the present, and that will be gone by tomorrow.

Don’t live your life waiting for “someday” to come; live your life as if someday is “today.”

And today, more than ever, I appreciate my life because today I am a

“3 year breast cancer survivor!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

*This is a song I wrote called “What Now.” I wrote the story on the last day of my treatment, wondering what come’s next after cancer. The story is in my book, “Waking Up,” which inspired me to write the song. It was about the end of my cancer, yet it can be for anyone who is changing their life and starting over. I hope you enjoy it! I have to say, it’s one of my favorites!

 

“3 Year Breast Cancer Survivor Today!”

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bc-timeline-ad

I’m a 3 year breast cancer survivor today! It’s amazing how cancer changed my life, all for the good. I sit here in so much gratitude today for this day, and for every day. It’s a day I remember the first day of being diagnosed, and the last day of treatment; a day of remembering those who left my life during it and thinking of the ones who stayed; I’m remembering how little I lost from it and how much I gained.

I want to give my love and gratitude to my lifelong friend, Colleen, who was there with me during the first biopsy; to my cousin, Marnie, who made chemo days a fun “girl’s day out” and was there the entire day of my surgery, having dinner waiting for me when I got home; to my best friend, Leslie, who made the later chemo days ones of “girls gone wild” days, and for all those lunches together on the way home; to Jim and Lilli, my friends from Wall Stadium Speedway, for having pink ribbons printed with my name on it and getting them to the fans and on all the race cars; and to my Wall Stadium family for all their support during my chemo days. And to all of my Facebook family, I give you my love and gratitude for your supportive and loving posts and instant messages. You’ll never know just how much all of that meant, and was so important during my journey with breast cancer. I have to say “thank you” to my boys, Dan, Noah, and Sam who were living with me day in and day out through my journey…you were all so brave and supportive to me, even though I knew you were scared, but we got through it together.

The door to cancer closed three years ago, yet it opened the door to finding love with Rob, publishing my book, writing songs for my CD, and finding myself living some amazing dreams and adventures.  I’m so very grateful to be able to say “3 year survivor and counting!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Happy Birthday – Cancer Free!”

 

“Make Each Day Count”

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gratitude

Each day you wake up in the morning is a gift that should never be taken for granted. Live your life to the fullest and always remember to “make each day count!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Photo by Anne Dennish @2017

“When Life Happens”

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Life has a way of sneaking up on us with no warning, and we’re left standing there wondering where it all came from. Well, I’ve had that kind of week. I was the lucky recipient of “life” and all its’ glory! And it’s once again taught me a lesson or two and strengthened my belief on how precious a life really is; how precarious and uncertain life can be; and how the drama caused by toxic people holds no place in this beautiful life I’m blessed to have.

It’s made me want to hold my loved ones’ a bit closer and much tighter; it’s made me see that changes need to be made for my Highest Good; and it’s made me realize that not only each day, but each minute, each second, each moment are a gift to be cherished and be grateful for.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this past week, contemplating what is and what isn’t, wondering what the next move is and making decisions to change things a bit. It’s a process, I’ll admit, yet with faith and prayer, it’s all coming together; my mind is clear and I’m able to hear the answers to my questions; and I’m understanding that all that happens is a gift from another lesson learned.

Hold your loved ones a bit tighter and take a good look at all that you’re blessed with in your life. Breathe in all the love that surrounds you and be grateful for it all.

“Life isn’t meant to be taken for granted; it’s meant to be taken with gratitude.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Photo by Anne Dennish @2017

“Keep Dancing Along”

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I believe that you should make your life an exciting adventure, no matter what it hands you. The past is the past, and the future can be as bright as you want it to be. It’s true that there are “endings” in your life, yet they are always followed by “beautiful new beginnings.”

You may not know what the day or future holds, but you always hold the knowledge of where you’ve been and the lessons that it taught you. Embrace each new day with excitement, let go of the past, and “dance along” through your life.

After all, there is no dancing in the dark; there’s only dancing in the light.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

whatPhoto by Anne Dennish 2017

“Voice of the Sea”

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The ocean has always been a place of peace and inspiration for me and I’m blessed to live so close to it. It’s a place to still my mind and listen to my thoughts and intuition. It’s a place to get lost in the sounds of the rhythm of the ocean and marvel at the miracle of it. And if your mind is open you’ll hear the voice of the sea!

This is one of the songs I wrote. Just click on the title and you’ll be able to listen. I hope you enjoy it!

Wishing you a beautiful day filled with love, light and all good things,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

Lyrics by Anne Dennish / Music & Vocals by Sutton Thomas