“Forget About New Year’s Resolutions”

I write about this subject in one form or another every year, and this year is no exception.

As the New Year quickly approaches people start talking about their “resolutions.” There’s things they want to do and things they want to change in their life so they make a list of “resolutions.”

I threw that concept out years ago because to me, resolutions were nothing more than making promises to myself that I couldn’t keep. They were goals for sure, but seriously, how many of us actually stick to those resolutions? I always tried, failed at some, then beat myself up for not doing what I had wanted.

So, years ago I realized that the only way for my life to change was by learning the lessons that life had handed me, by learning from my mistakes, learning from my experiences, and so I decided to have my “New Year’s Revelations!”

I ask myself some important questions throughout the month of December: What opened my eyes this past year? What did I learn about myself? What type of people are in my tribe? Am I taking care of myself and loving myself enough or giving too much of myself away? And what do I need to let go of that has no place in the New Year coming up and in my life?

These are the questions to ask yourself and answer honestly. You see, when you have those “revelations” about yourself and the year that’s about to come to an end, you take those lessons and truths with you. You begin the New Year with a better understanding of yourself, your life, your situations and the people in it. And when you do that, the New Year will bring all that you want it to: love, happiness, joy, adventure, new beginnings, new opportunities; the possibilities are endless.

Don’t put added stress on yourself by making “resolutions.”

Take the time to think about your “revelations” and begin the New Year in a positive light. All things are possible if you just believe in yourself!

Remember: “Everything begins with YOU!”

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“My Strength Is Their Weakness”

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I wrote that quote many years ago near the end of my 20 year marriage. As I began to heal physically and emotionally from all the turmoil of that, I realized that it was at my moments of anxiety, sadness or depression that he became strong. At first I thought he was showing true signs of kindness, yet in time I realized what was really happening: I was feeding his ego and he was starving my self-esteem.  He felt like “the big man” helping the poor, defenseless, broken woman. The woman HE broke. The woman he was abusive to; the woman he told over and over again was stupid and ugly; the woman he told would never be loved by anyone.

And I believed him…until I stopped believing him.

Are you wondering how I stopped believing all that negative stuff he had embedded onto my brain? I woke up. I realized that I had allowed him free reign over me for many years and that by doing that, the behavior continued. I allowed him to speak down to me and allowed him to be disrespectful to me.  So, one day I woke up and stopped allowing it, and the marriage was done and over with.

I went through years of healing myself mentally and emotionally, and of course it was with the help of many spiritual teachers and a wonderful tribe of true friends.

I learned so much about myself and that loving myself first was the answer to not allowing anyone else to treat me that way. You’d think it would never happen again, yet I’m human; we’re all human. Sometimes life brings you an experience that you thought you had learned the lessons from…yet life knows when you forget the lesson. And the Universe will put a similar experience back into your way until you wake up and realize that what you stopped allowing years ago, you’re allowing once again.

Even after that divorce I would find myself meeting someone whose ego was strengthened by my weakness, and for those that know me, they know I’m anything but weak. It would sporadically happen here and there throughout the years, yet know I’m much more able to recognize it when it’s happening. I’ve learned that those people lack control of their own life so they try and control mine; they lack self-respect and are unable to respect anyone else; they don’t feel strong unless they’re paired up with someone weak.

And I am no longer that girl.

I want to be treated the way I deserve and the way that I treat others: with love, kindness, compassion, consideration and loyalty. And I won’t settle for anything less. I want to be loved for the person I am, quirks and all, because I love that person that I’ve become.

We all have moments of feeling weak and that’s okay; it’s those moments that help us to find our strength again and stand back up on our feet even stronger.

We all have moments of finding ourselves back in a situation that we thought would never return and that’s okay; you’re given that situation to remind you of the lesson you forgot.

And we all find ourselves staring into the mirror, looking at ourselves and wondering how we got here and what happened to us, and that’s okay; keep looking in that mirror long enough and you’ll once again see the person you thought was lost.

It’s those moments of feeling lost that we’re actually finding ourselves again, and we’re finding an even better and stronger version of the person we once were.

Life is about balance and we all fall out of balance every so often. It’s when the world around us is spinning out of control that we see the truth of everything, and it’s those moments we find our balance again.

Don’t let anyone make you feel weak; surround yourself with people that make you strong.

Don’t spend your precious time feeding someone’s ego; spend your time feeding your self-esteem.

And don’t rely on anyone loving you the way you want to be loved; love yourself that way first and the rest will fall into place.

Everything in your life begins with YOU.

Stop allowing what you don’t want to continue.

Forgive yourself when you forgot a lesson you learned and get back on track.

And love yourself.

If you do nothing else, love yourself.

Everything is possible when you begin with love.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The Lesson In The Pain”

I find a lesson in everything…even in pain, and the last 11 days have been no exception. I’ve been battling severe sciatica. Some days the pain has been excruciating, other days it’s been manageable, yet throughout the last 11 days of being able to do nothing but rest and take it easy, I’ve found myself changing.

Life and all its’ little problems were still knocking at my door, begging to come in with all their stress and drama, but guess what? I didn’t answer the door. I left all that “negative stuff” on the front porch, knowing that it would soon go away if I ignored it…and it did.

Living with pain is a horrible thing, yet it taught me that nothing else mattered except my healing. The pain reminded me that I’m just as important as anyone else, and that this time was mine to rest and get well. And it taught me to let go of things quicker and easier…and be done with them.

I guess you could say this amount of pain for this long of a time changed my behavior and perspective on situations that bring me stress or are filled with drama. I see them differently and learned to quickly dismiss them, not let them bother me, and focus on what’s important: my family, my loved ones, my tribe and ME!

I’m on the mend and it’s been a long, painful 11 days, yet it wasn’t in vain and was for a reason: to learn another life lesson. And while my leg still hurts, I can tell you that my heart doesn’t. I can’t worry about what I can’t change in others, I can only change how I react to them.

And sometimes “no reaction” is the best “reaction” to someone trying to bring their stress and drama into your life.

Try it.

It’s a good thing!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Life And Your Water Bottle”

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I was talking to a friend the other day about her life and all the changes she wants to make, when suddenly I found myself saying to her: life is like a water bottle, if it’s filled to the top with all the negative people and situations in your life then there’s no room to fill it with the water of the positive.

She loved the analogy and I thought about it further. It’s always a good thing to be able to visualize things in a way that you can see it and understand, and my “water bottle” analogy is just that.

Imagine that we’re given one water bottle in our life, and that bottle represents our life. It’s filled with water, which is all the people and situations in our life. At the time those things may be purposeful in our life and best for our Highest Good, yet as time and life marches on, it changes. Suddenly you’re left wanting more, wanting something different or wanting to let go of certain people and situations.

But you can’t seem to do it, and that is the human nature of being afraid of change or of the unknown. We know what we need to leave behind yet we wonder what will happen if we let go. Will our life be worse or will it be better? Should we leave someone not knowing if someone better is waiting for us?

It’s a leap of faith in your Higher Power and in yourself.

I explained to her that at this time in her life her water bottle is filled with negativity, both with her job and personal life. I told her that unless she started emptying that water bottle of the negative she wouldn’t be able to fill it with anything new or more positive. She couldn’t replace the negative water until she poured it out and replaced it with the positive.

After all, you can’t put more water into a full bottle until you dump some water out.

And that is my analogy on letting go and moving forward.

Sometimes you have to visualize your life in a way that you can actually picture it, and the water bottle is simply one way to look at it.

Is your water bottle filled with all that is for your Highest Good or do you need to dump some of the water out so that the “good” water can be poured in?

It’s the same no matter how you look at it. When you keep the wrong people in your life or are in a situation that is not good for you then there’s no room for what’s in your best interest to come in.

I’ve been taught by my spiritual teachers throughout the years that you have to let go of that which no longer serves your Highest Good in order for something better to come in. Holding on to negativity in any way, shape or form will prevent anything better and more positive to come in.

Dump out your water bottle if your life isn’t the way you want it and fill it with all the good that the Universe has just waiting for you.

After all, I believe that once we rid ourselves of negativity, whether it’s people or situations, the world opens up with more positivity than we can imagine.

I know this for sure…

And it’s a good thing…

I promise.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“It’s Your Own Fault”

~This is an excerpt from my new book, “My Collective Soul,” which will be released in Octover of 2017~

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We live in a time of blaming others for our shortcomings. It’s easier to blame someone else than to take our accountability for our actions. I see it all the time. People living less of the life they want and pointing the finger at everyone else. They blame others; they say it’s someone else’s fault; they don’t know how to stand in their own truth.

And they do that because it’s easier to blame someone else than to look in the mirror and claim our part in what makes us unhappy.

No one wants to look in the mirror. It’s the mirror of our face, our shortcomings, our faults, our weaknesses, yet what most people don’t understand is that it’s also the mirror of our strength, of our successes, of our truth.

Most people fear the mirror because they don’t always like what they see, yet what you see is what you can change, if you choose to. What we see is our soul and our heart and if you can’t come to terms to accept what you see, then you, my friends, have the right to change it.

You were gifted the ability to change in yourself and your life what you don’t like. If you look in the mirror and see a weakness then go out and strengthen it. If you look in the mirror and see your faults then change it and see your strengths. If you look in the mirror and see and ugly person then change it to make yourself beautiful, and I don’t mean in looks.

Our hearts dictate our beauty. Our hearts allow the outside world to see who we are. Our hearts are the keepers of our secrets, and they also hold the keeper of our truth.

Let it out.

Look in the mirror and yourself and see your beauty. See your strengths, see your accomplishments, see all that you endured, see your illness, see your broken marriage or relationship, see the pain and the hurt.

See it all…

And then look again.

Look at YOU.

Stare at yourself for as long as you need to.

And within a few minutes your face will look different; your demeanor will change; your soul and heart will start to break through the negative sight of what you see and show you the light.

Let it.

Let go.

And know that all that stuff that happened to you is simply that: stuff. Let it go. And accept that anything that happenened to you was meant to. It was a lesson from your Higher Power to stop and take a look at your life; to take a look at yourself.

We all have a hand in our life. We love to blame everyone else, yet it takes two people to argue; two to fight; two to find love and two to end it. It takes two people to have an affair and two people to join together in marriage.

Stop blaming and take a step back.

Look in that mirror, point the finger at yourself and say: “It’s your own fault.”

And then forgive yourself for not being perfect, because you’re not supposed to be. You’re supposed to be human. You’re supposed to make mistakes, and you’re supposed to learn from them.

You’re supposed to feel pain so that you can feel happiness.

You’re supposed to give freedom for your heart to break so that you can learn how to heal it.

You’re supposed to fail at some things so that you can succeed at what you were meant to.

You’re supposed to cry so that you can smile.

You’re supposed to end a relationship so that you can begin another one.

You’re supposed to be human.

You see, you are amazing. You are an incredible individual and no one else is like you. We all have faults and that’s okay because the right friend or partner will love you for them. We all fall and we all can get up and we can get up stronger.

We all can make a choice; we all can take a chance; we all can fall deep down to the bottom.

And you can choose to get up.

So pick yourself up and get it right. Straighten up and straighten up. You can do it because I have. I’ve fallen so deep throughout my life that I couldn’t see the sun. I’ve been so weak that I lost sight of what strength felt like. I felt so alone that I forgot what love was.

And then I looked in the mirror.

I looked long and hard, and at first I didn’t like what I saw.

But I kept looking.

And within a few minutes I saw a girl who was simply broken from all that life had handed her. I looked her hard straight in her eyes and saw something that she didn’t: her will.

I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be better, I wanted a different life.

I kept looking at this girl who had become a stranger to me and felt compassion for her, and in that moment I realized I was feeling compassion for myself.

So I forgave myself for everything.

I knew it was my fault because I allowed it all to happen.

But as I looked at her in the mirror I let it gave, told her I loved her, and changed my life in that moment, just like that.

She changed.

She became strong.

She believed in herself.

She loved herself.

And no matter what was her fault, she forgave it all.

And she forgave all the people that were a part of it.

And she cried tears of sadness as she let go and tears of happiness as she stood in her truth.

And all was right with her world.

And never again would she say “it’s your own fault” because she would never allow it to be.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Remember: You Are Amazing!”

If you want other people to see the amazing person that you are, you must first see it in yourself. So often the world and the people in it get’s to be too much for us to handle, and what do we do? We stop seeing all the goodness in ourselves and when you do that, no one else can see it either.

Today I want to remind you that “you are lovable, you are beautiful and you are amazing!”

Repeat that until you believe it and can see that you truly are all those things and more!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“On The Outside Looking In”

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There are times in my life when I feel like I’m on the outside looking in and I know in my heart that it’s okay to feel that way, because:

“Sometimes you need to step outside of your life in order to see what’s inside of it”.

Do you ever find yourself getting lost in the midst of your day to day routine? Getting lost among your loved ones, finding yourself wondering who you are anymore? Are you a mom, a wife, a “life partner?” And where are “you?” Where did you go?

It’s not a conscious decision to be on the outside. It just happens. One day you wake up and don’t feel like yourself; you feel like you’re “on the outside looking in.” At least for me that’s how it happens. And there’s no time frame for it; you feel that way for as long as it takes to see and learn what you need to, and it could be a day or two, or longer.

Sometimes amidst the routine of loving and caring for my nearest and dearest I suddenly find myself wondering where I went to…where am I in all this. It seems like everything is about everybody else, but not me.

I feel like no one notices me unless they need something, and tempers are shortened when I’m not doing what I should be…for them. I spoiled them by doing it all, and I love doing it all, but I also love being loved and cared for by THEM. I want them to spoil me just a bit, I want them to notice my feelings, I want them to reassure me of their love and commitment to me as much as I do to them. I don’t want to be taken for granted.

Yet on the other hand, I believe that being on the “outside” is most often times the only way we can observe our life; it’s the one way we can be objective by looking in from the outside at each person and each situation; it’s the best way we can see what is or isn’t and learn from it.

It’s the best way to see ourselves objectively.

And that’s when the lessons are learned.

We observe the behavior of others towards us; we see how they’re treating us and how we’re reacting to it. We see what the truth of our relationships are and what they aren’t. We see our strengths and our weaknesses, and we can see whether or not we’re speaking our truth.

Often times we find ourselves on the outside when we’re holding too much inside; we’re not speaking our truth for fear of the outcome. It’s that fear thing holding us back and keeping us on the outside.

I’m looking from the outside at all the excitement everyone around me is having; new adventures, exciting opportunities, and movement, yet I’m not a part of it. I’m here, in a life of laundry and cooking, responsibility and reality.

I’m looking at this girl I once knew who had one adventure after another, more excitement than she knew what to do, and an appetite for life and all it had to offer. Life slowed down on her, and she stepped back and she stepped into solitude; the woman who’s life revolves around every one else’s became invisible to those she loved most.

Yet, it was her fault. She allowed it, she contributed to it, and by not speaking her truth, those around her never knew how she was feeling. She had hoped that they would; but they didn’t. And I guess in the end,  it doesn’t matter, because that’s what being on the outside is about, and she knows that it’s up to her to get back to the inside.

So, here I sit on the outside, observing, making decisions, and making big changes. I want those adventures again; I want to feel the excitement of my passion again; I want to be me again.

And so I will. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even being on the outside, and once I  get back to the inside I feel that my life will be even better than it is now.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“February – My Month Of Milestones”

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If you had asked me a few years ago about what the month of February meant to me, I would have told you it was just another month. I would have told you that it meant nothing to me, that Valentine’s Day was just another Hallmark holiday. And a few years ago, that was my truth.

Yet as life changes, so has “my truth.” February has become a month of milestone anniversaries and celebrations, all of which I’m blessed to have and grateful everyday for each one of them.

I spent over two years writing my book, “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer,” and it was published in the month of February last year.

I fell in love with an amazing man, which was something I never thought would happen to me, and certainly something I wasn’t looking for. Yet love found me, and it found me in the month of February.

I had breast cancer surgery three years ago, and it was then I found out that my cancer was gone and the journey was over. I became a survivor in February.

And of course, it’s the month that holds “Valentine’s Day,” a day which is no longer a Hallmark holiday to me, but a special day to celebrate all the love that surrounds me in my life.

So you can see, it’s a big month of milestones, and I look forward to sharing my stories about each of them with you throughout the month. I have some surprises to share as the month goes on, so keep posted.

I’m devoting my website and  my Anne Dennish Facebook page this month to “love.” I want to fill it with upbeat stories, positive outcomes, inspirational quotes and stories of survival and strength. I want to fill it with all the love I have in my heart for my life, my loves and my family and friends. I want to fill it with my love of writing. I want to fill it with the love and gratitude I have for all the lessons I’ve learned and all the gifts I’ve received from learning them.

I want to fill it with as much as I can, because in the end

“it’s time to make a difference, and we can make a difference together.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Choose Again”

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Life is full of lessons, and while we learn them and carry them into the next chapter in our life, we sometimes find ourselves in familiar territory: about to make the same mistake twice. No worries, though, because it happens. I believe that we’re given the same situations at times to learn the lessons from them again, simply because we didn’t learn them the first time.

There’s no need to worry when this happens. Keep your eyes open when you’re faced with a situation or problem that you dealt with in your past. Keep your mind clear to see that this time around you have a chance to remember the lesson from the first time.

And should you find yourself coming close to making that same mistake, remember this:

CHOOSE AGAIN.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“Looking In The Right Direction”

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Which way are you looking? Are you looking at life through eyes of sadness and regret, or through eyes of hope and faith for today? Are you looking at your past or looking towards your future?

There’s no definitive right or wrong answer, yet throughout my experience in life I would tell you that looking back, looking outwards and looking down will keep you from all the good things that  you can find if you simply look up, look inward and look forward. The past is the past; it’s already come and gone, and hopefully gifted you with valuable lessons toward an amazing present and future.

When we look in the “wrong” direction we run the risk of missing out on some pretty incredible things in life. We don’t give ourselves the chance to move forward into our future and live in our present. You’ve already gained insight and lessons from the past; leave it behind and look towards a bright future.

It’s important to look in the right direction, even though it may be hard to see at times. Life doesn’t always go as planned and we may get discouraged, but I’m here to tell you to keep the faith and believe in yourself; keep looking in the right direction because an amazing life is just waiting there right in front  of you.

Look up, look inward and look forward!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~