“Do Life Happy!”

“Do life happy.”

Happiness is one of the best emotions in the world and in the last few days I’ve been on Cloud Nine, and I have to say, all this happiness is making me tired but I’m sleeping better than I ever have before. I find myself dancing in the kitchen while I’m cooking and cleaning, I’m singing out loud to the song on the radio while I’m driving and I’m smiling and laughing like never before. It’s so much more than happiness, I’m feeling “joy.” And I’m “doing life happy!”

So how am I doing it?

On January 1st, 2019, I made a decision to work on learning to let things go. I’ve always tried to do this but this year I am making a conscience effort to stay out of situations that aren’t my problem and truly let it go. There’s been moments I want to get involved to help, but now I remind myself that it’s not my problem, it’s someone else’s and truth be told, if I fix their problem they’ll never be able to learn the lesson they were supposed to.

I’ll always be there for anyone who needs me, whether it’s my advice, my shoulder to cry on or simply my ear to listen, yet I’m understanding more than ever that all of that is as is should be; fixing the problem for them isn’t as it should be.

We all have life lessons to learn, be it your children, family, friends or significant other, and when we interfere with their free will to handle their situation in their own way we’ve taken away their right to learn from it. We’ve allowed the negativity and toxicity of their situation to affect us as well. And that won’t serve anyone well.

Life would be so much easier if someone else fixed our problems, healed our hearts, and told us what to do to live a happy life, yet that’s not how life works, nor should it. We need to learn how to fix our problems, how to heal our hearts, and learn to know what we need to do (or not do) to be happy. We need to learn our life lessons so that we can live the best and happiest life possible.

We all have a choice to be happy or not, to face our demons and problems or not, and to learn from them…or not. I’m a person who decided to make those choices for my Highest Good. I decided to learn how to be happy; I decided to face those demons along the journey of my life; and I decided that all things happen for a reason and that I would take those lessons and learn from them. And the bottom line is this: we all need to learn to love ourselves and truly believe that we deserve all good things.

I’m here for anyone who needs me. If you need my shoulder to cry on, you got it. If you need an ear to tell your problems to, I’m listening. If you need to know how I handled my difficult situations in life and how I got through them, I’ll tell you. And if you just need to know you’re not alone, I’ll tell you that you’re not…because I’m here to love you through it and be there for you.

I’m still the same person I’ve always been and still working on growing into the best sense of self I can possibly be, and in order to do that I’ve learned that I  have to learn to let things go.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

do life happy use this

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“My Strength Is Their Weakness”

strength and weakness

I wrote that quote many years ago near the end of my 20 year marriage. As I began to heal physically and emotionally from all the turmoil of that, I realized that it was at my moments of anxiety, sadness or depression that he became strong. At first I thought he was showing true signs of kindness, yet in time I realized what was really happening: I was feeding his ego and he was starving my self-esteem.  He felt like “the big man” helping the poor, defenseless, broken woman. The woman HE broke. The woman he was abusive to; the woman he told over and over again was stupid and ugly; the woman he told would never be loved by anyone.

And I believed him…until I stopped believing him.

Are you wondering how I stopped believing all that negative stuff he had embedded onto my brain? I woke up. I realized that I had allowed him free reign over me for many years and that by doing that, the behavior continued. I allowed him to speak down to me and allowed him to be disrespectful to me.  So, one day I woke up and stopped allowing it, and the marriage was done and over with.

I went through years of healing myself mentally and emotionally, and of course it was with the help of many spiritual teachers and a wonderful tribe of true friends.

I learned so much about myself and that loving myself first was the answer to not allowing anyone else to treat me that way. You’d think it would never happen again, yet I’m human; we’re all human. Sometimes life brings you an experience that you thought you had learned the lessons from…yet life knows when you forget the lesson. And the Universe will put a similar experience back into your way until you wake up and realize that what you stopped allowing years ago, you’re allowing once again.

Even after that divorce I would find myself meeting someone whose ego was strengthened by my weakness, and for those that know me, they know I’m anything but weak. It would sporadically happen here and there throughout the years, yet know I’m much more able to recognize it when it’s happening. I’ve learned that those people lack control of their own life so they try and control mine; they lack self-respect and are unable to respect anyone else; they don’t feel strong unless they’re paired up with someone weak.

And I am no longer that girl.

I want to be treated the way I deserve and the way that I treat others: with love, kindness, compassion, consideration and loyalty. And I won’t settle for anything less. I want to be loved for the person I am, quirks and all, because I love that person that I’ve become.

We all have moments of feeling weak and that’s okay; it’s those moments that help us to find our strength again and stand back up on our feet even stronger.

We all have moments of finding ourselves back in a situation that we thought would never return and that’s okay; you’re given that situation to remind you of the lesson you forgot.

And we all find ourselves staring into the mirror, looking at ourselves and wondering how we got here and what happened to us, and that’s okay; keep looking in that mirror long enough and you’ll once again see the person you thought was lost.

It’s those moments of feeling lost that we’re actually finding ourselves again, and we’re finding an even better and stronger version of the person we once were.

Life is about balance and we all fall out of balance every so often. It’s when the world around us is spinning out of control that we see the truth of everything, and it’s those moments we find our balance again.

Don’t let anyone make you feel weak; surround yourself with people that make you strong.

Don’t spend your precious time feeding someone’s ego; spend your time feeding your self-esteem.

And don’t rely on anyone loving you the way you want to be loved; love yourself that way first and the rest will fall into place.

Everything in your life begins with YOU.

Stop allowing what you don’t want to continue.

Forgive yourself when you forgot a lesson you learned and get back on track.

And love yourself.

If you do nothing else, love yourself.

Everything is possible when you begin with love.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The Lesson In The Pain”

I find a lesson in everything…even in pain, and the last 11 days have been no exception. I’ve been battling severe sciatica. Some days the pain has been excruciating, other days it’s been manageable, yet throughout the last 11 days of being able to do nothing but rest and take it easy, I’ve found myself changing.

Life and all its’ little problems were still knocking at my door, begging to come in with all their stress and drama, but guess what? I didn’t answer the door. I left all that “negative stuff” on the front porch, knowing that it would soon go away if I ignored it…and it did.

Living with pain is a horrible thing, yet it taught me that nothing else mattered except my healing. The pain reminded me that I’m just as important as anyone else, and that this time was mine to rest and get well. And it taught me to let go of things quicker and easier…and be done with them.

I guess you could say this amount of pain for this long of a time changed my behavior and perspective on situations that bring me stress or are filled with drama. I see them differently and learned to quickly dismiss them, not let them bother me, and focus on what’s important: my family, my loved ones, my tribe and ME!

I’m on the mend and it’s been a long, painful 11 days, yet it wasn’t in vain and was for a reason: to learn another life lesson. And while my leg still hurts, I can tell you that my heart doesn’t. I can’t worry about what I can’t change in others, I can only change how I react to them.

And sometimes “no reaction” is the best “reaction” to someone trying to bring their stress and drama into your life.

Try it.

It’s a good thing!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Picking Up Bad Vibes”

I love meeting new people, yet every so often I meet one that, simply put, rubs me the wrong way. I don’t always know “why” that happens, and it doesn’t happen often, but I do know it’s my intuition talking to me: it’s telling me to walk away from them.

It’s my intuition picking up some “bad vibes and negative energy” from them.

It’s my intuition telling me that they’re not who they seem to be and to proceed with caution.

It’s my intuition telling me to walk away from them, release the bad vibes I got from them, cleanse myself of their negative energy, and do whatever it takes to never be around them again.

So many times we find ourselves in situations in which we feel uncomfortable; we may not know at that moment “why” we feel what we do, but I’m here to tell you to “trust your gut.” The answer to “why” will present itself to you when it’s meant to.

As for me, I’m a 24 hour girl, one who continues to think about something for that amount of time until I understand my feelings. So, when my intuition speaks, I listen, and then I begin to process my “why” and allow the answer to come…and it always does.

We’re not meant to like everyone we meet. Sometimes we meet the “negative vibe” people to teach us something about ourselves, or about them. Sometimes we meet them as a test to see if we’re truly listening to our intuition or not.

It’s okay to distance yourself from the people who make you feel uneasy, or angry, or uncomfortable. This is simply your intuition looking out for you.

Walk away from the people who send off bad vibes…

And keep the “good vibes” in your tribe…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

bad vibes

“Control and Submission”

*On a personal note: I’m not an expert on this subject, but I’ve been in this situation before and know the signs of it happening, which is why I’m writing about it now. Every so often I see someone I care about being controlled by the wrong person and I watch as they become submissive to them. I can only share my personal experience with them to try and help them see the unhealthy situation they’ve allowed themselves to be in, yet as always, it’s a life lesson for them. I can’t fix them, save them, or change their situation…only they can do that. It’s a lesson they need to learn, just as I had many years ago, and all I can do is offer my support and share my experience with them. ~Anne Dennish~

“Submission” is a state in which people can no longer do what they want to do because they have been brought under the control of someone else.

Has this happened to you? Have you lost control of your life because someone else is controlling you?

And why did you allow it to happen?

Maybe you have an underlying need for the controller to love and accept you; maybe you want their attention and time; maybe you idolize them and want to feel as important to them as they are to you.

But it will never happen. They will never give you what you want as long as you’re giving them what they want.

Most times we never see it coming. We wake up one morning and realize that our life is not our own; we find ourselves doing things we don’t’ want to do; we see that our relationships are suffering; we’ve allowed someone to control us without realizing they were doing that; we say “no” to them but we’re beaten into “submission” until we say “yes.”

And that cycle continues until the controller get’s what they want.

And they will always get what they want until you stop allowing them to; until you say “no” and mean it; until you set up boundaries with them which you don’t allow to be crossed.

And until you open your eyes and realize that someone you trusted has been controlling submission 3you.

Why does someone to this?

It’s simple: people who can’t control their own lives will control someone else’s. It’s not because they love you or care for you; it’s not because you think they’re you’re friend; it’s because it builds up their own insecurities and low self-esteem to know that they have the power and control over someone else.

And before long, the people who truly do love and care for you will see what you can’t: that you’re being submissive to a certain someone; that you’re submission affects your relationships with the right people; that you allow someone to control you when the right people wouldn’t do that to you.

There will come a point where the right people will bring it to your attention. They love you and want you to see what they see: that you’ve put all your time and attention into the wrong person rather than the right ones, which are them. They are the ones who will ask you why you allow it; why the controlling person means more to you than the ones who don’t control you; why you allow the controlling person to affect you and your healthy relationships with your significant other, family and true friends. The “right people” will begin to feel unimportant to you because they see what lengths you’re willing to go to for the controller instead of them.

It happens to all of us at one point or more in our lives; it certainly has happened to me, which is why I’m able to see it happening to the people I surround myself with, and it breaks my heart to see the ones I love being controlled by someone and they can’t. I can clearly see the signs of submission and know the exact type of person who will control someone else. It’s never an easy thing to break free from someone like that, but it can be done; you need to accept what they’re doing and begin to do what needs to be done to take back your power.

The first step is realizing it’s happening to you, and if you don’t, accept someone who loves you telling you what they see. Believe the people who love and respect you, the ones who don’t control you, because they have your best interest at heart.

Secondly, break the cycle and that begins with the next time you tell them “no.” Say “no” once, not several times, with no explanation. Don’t let them badger you into submission until you say “yes” and do what they want. Shut them down and stay strong because until they understand that you’re no longer allowing yourself to be controlled by them, they’ll keep trying until they’ve beaten you back into submission again and again and again.

And lastly, walk away from them; let them go; avoid contact with them if you can and always remember what they had done to you. It’s a lesson to learn but one that you’ll have more insight into if it should ever happen to you again.

I wish I could tell you how and why someone feels they have the right to control another human being, or why we become submissive to another. It’s different for all of us, but once you can honestly see what you allowed to happen to you, you’ll become to understand “why.”

Was the controller someone you looked up to or idolized? Was it someone you were in love with and didn’t want to disappoint? Were they more important to you than the people who truly love you? Maybe you have an underlying need for the controller to love and accept you; maybe you want their attention and time; maybe you want to feel as important to them as they are to you. Or maybe you want them to accept you, yet you need to understand that YOU have lost control on giving them more time, attention and power than they deserve.

But what you want from them will never happen. They will never give you what you want as long as you’re giving them what they want. And sadly, that’s the truth, because while you’re becoming submissive to the controller, you’re losing sight of the people in your life who love and respect you, two things the controller will never give you. The moment you allow someone to control you is the moment their respect for you and your own self-respect, fly out the window. Respect no longer exists with control.

The controller plays on our weakness, and because of their own insecurities, low self-esteem and lack of control in their own life, they find their strength in controlling you.  They don’t really care about you; they care about their control over you. They don’t want you to be in a healthy relationship because they’re not in one of their own. They don’t care if their control affects your relationships or your life; they only care about what they gain from it, because once they see you with the right people and loving your life, they will control you even more to make sure you hurt the people you shouldn’t.

Please be aware of your surroundings and the people you allow into them. Control isn’t love and love isn’t control. And if you’re wondering how you know if you’re being submissive to a controlling person, ask yourself this one important question: “Why can’t I say no to them, and when I do say it, why do I let them beat me into submission until I say “yes” and do what they want?”

Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t respect you enough to allow you to be yourself; stop giving in to someone who doesn’t give you anything back in return; stop defending the controller and making excuses for their behavior because when push comes to shove, they’ll have their own back before they have yours.

Take a look at the place in your life that this “controlling person” has and then take a look at the people in your life that don’t control you. How much of your life do you waste on trying to please them rather than them pleasing you? How much of your precious time is given to them rather than given to the people who love you?

And one more thing: how does your being submissive to this person hurt the people that love you? How often has their control of your time prevented you from spending time with the people you love? And honestly, they don’t care what their control does to you at all, just what their control over you does for them.

Does that make your choice to take back your control from someone else easier now?

Don’t hurt the ones you love and more importantly, don’t hurt yourself because of someone who wants you to and who doesn’t care if you do.

“No” is a full sentence.

Say it.

Mean it.

Be done with it…and them.

And never allow yourself to ever be “beaten into submission” again.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

submission

“Let Go Or Be Dragged”

Think about your life at this very moment: what is good for you and what isn’t?
 
Now, take what is good for you and embrace it, be grateful for it, and love it.
 
And take what isn’t good for you and let it go…or be dragged.
 
That which doesn’t serve your Highest Good will drag you down so be brave, say good-bye, and let it all go.
 
It’s a good thing…I promise! ❤
 
Wishing you love and light,
 
~Anne Dennish~

“Chemo Healed The Cancer But The Cancer Healed Me”

My last book, “Waking Up: Lessons Learned From My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer” was born over two years ago while lying on a radiation table for breast cancer.

I’m the type of person that loves meeting people because every single one of us has a story…we ARE a story! Some may not believe that, yet as a writer, I know it’s true. I was out to dinner with my love one night, along with his cousin and his love, and a table full of people I had never met. Yet by the end of the night, I knew them well.

You see, that’s the beauty of paying attention to people and speaking to them, yet more importantly, LISTENING to them. They were laughing at me last night when I said that the whole night of conversations was indeed a story!

So it’s no surprise that “Waking Up” was born; the idea may have begun on a radiation table, yet the stories were already taking shape in my mind, and for the last two years of writing it, more stories were born. Every story is true; most of them are of my personal experiences, and there are a few born out of situations with someone else who graciously allowed me to write about it

Yet, here’s what that one moment that woke me up was: “breast cancer!”

Yes, I had been on a spiritual journey for years, but finding out I had cancer was a big kick in the ass! I realized that as much as I had learned over the years, the lessons were far from over. Breast cancer changed my life and how I live it. That tumor was all the things I never said out loud, all the pain of allowing people to treat me badly. It was everything I never said that I should have, so I made a deal with the cancer: “I’ll open my mouth and use my voice, I’ll make better choices of who I surround myself with, I’ll rid myself of people and situations that make me feel less than good, and I’ll take all of this and write about it to help someone else as long as you leave my body when the time is right.”

I guess the cancer agreed with the deal, because it held up its’ end of the bargain. I did all those things and it left me the day they cut all that stuff out of my body. They did more than a lumpectomy on February 21st. As cancer and I were about to say good-bye that day, I could hear it speaking to me. Sounds crazy, but it wasn’t really. It said: “You’ve done the work and I know it wasn’t easy. I’m sorry to have had to come and visit you, but this journey is over. Remember the lessons, remember to love yourself, and finish up our deal: tell your lessons to everyone you can reach. I’m counting on you.”

Well, in a strange way, chemo may have healed my cancer, but my cancer healed me. It taught me more than I could imagined, and since then, I spread the word, I keep out as much drama and stress as I can, and I walk away from anyone or anything that tries to control and manipulate me. Cancer didn’t abuse me as much as some people have tried to, and I’m smarter because of all of it.

“Waking Up” is so much more than a book; it’s my heart and soul that simply wants to make a difference in someone’s life. Life get’s shorter as we get older, and my goal is to live everyday to the fullest, to show love and kindness to someone who needs it, and most importantly, to make someone laugh and smile.

Struggles will always happen in our lives, yet it’s your attitude and perspective that will handle it and teach you more than you could have ever imagined.  After all, “we don’t become who we are by chance; we become who we are by choice.”

Love your lessons, whether you like them or not, because in the end, miracles happen!

“Chemo healed the cancer but the cancer healed me.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

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“I Won’t Back Down”

Here’s an excerpt from my new book, “My Collective Soul,” which will be released in October of 2017. ~Anne Dennish~

Photo by EVNFLO Photography

 

 

“No, I stand my ground, won’t be turned around,and I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down…gonna stand my ground and I won’t back down.” ~Tom Petty~

 

I’ve always loved that song, but while going through breast cancer, the lyrics rang more true than ever. Yet you don’t need to go through an illness or rough patch to understand that song: that no one should “back down” to anything or anyone.

Finding our strength isn’t the easiest thing to do, and truth be told, even when you find it, there will be moments that you’re too tired to stay that strong. You’re tired, your emotions are running rampant, or you just hit your wall to life. And all that is okay; we’re all human and there are just some days that people and situations get the best of us.

I have days like that, although as I learn my lessons in life, those days are far and few between. When I find myself faced with someone who’s draining my energy or trying to manipulate me, I hear those lyrics:

“Well, I know what’s right, I got just one life in a world that keeps on pushin’ me around but I’ll stand my ground and I won’t back down.”

Yes, there are times we feel like we “gave in” to someone, yet you need to remember, you didn’t give in, and you didn’t give up. You did what was necessary to remove yourself from it, even if you allowed someone else to think they got the best of you.

What you know to be true is your “truth.” And no one, and no situation, can take that away from you without your permission.

“Don’t back down” to anything or anyone…stand tall, proud and strong! Show the world how “big your brave is!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Always Trust Your Gut”

Just a little piece of advice for you all: trust your gut, trust your intuition and trust yourself. There seems to be so much dark energy floating around in the world lately that you have to be careful of who and what you’re surrounding yourself with, especially where the internet and social media are concerned.

If something feels wrong or feels “off,” know that it is.

If you know someone in your life or see a picture of someone and your intuition screams that there’s something dark or negative about them, know that there is.

Protect the beautiful being that you are and surround yourself with love and light. Stay away from the dark and negative energy that surrounds certain people, whether it’s in your life or through the internet.

Stay positive, stay grounded, and stay focused on your intuition and gut feelings…trust them. And please, when you get the feeling that something “isn’t right,” and you don’t understand why, trust that your gut knows why, even if you don’t know the reason yet.

I wish you all love,light, and protection from the negative and dark people that try to hurt you and the ones you love.

Be safe, be mindful, and “pay attention.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Losing Sight Of What Really Matters”

Social media can be a great tool to keep in touch with old classmates as well as friends and family that live far away.

Yet it can become a way of life for some; the people that base their life on the “number of likes, friends and friend requests” they get, and that’s sad because they’ve lost sight of reality and the people in their life.

My own personal feeling is that I would rather have human touch, a voice, and an interaction with someone in the real, physical world. It means more to me when I get a call from a friend or they stop by to visit  me than by any “friend request” I receive from someone who never game me the time of day over the years or put the effort in to reach out to me.  While social media can be a great tool, especially if you use it for business, I don’t base my life on it. I don’t take every “friend” request just because I receive one. I’m more cautious on social media than I am in the real world.  My love, my children and my close friends mean the world to me and I will never let social media take priority over them.

So today I want you to look at your life with a different perspective and ask yourself these questions: Are you more in touch with the physical world and the people in it or are you more focused on your social media page? Where is your priority…with people you don’t know well on social media or with the ones you do know well in your life?

And the most important question to ask yourself is this: Do you spend more time on social media than you do with the people you love?

Don’t base your life on “likes and friends” on social media; base your life on the people in your life that love you.

I know I do.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~