letting go of toxic people

“Your New Year Revelations”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

I gave up on making New Year resolutions years ago, and replaced them with what I call my “New Year’s Revelations.” It’s all the things I learned throughout the year that I will carry into the new year with me, in the hopes that I don’t make the same mistakes in the new year. In other words, my New Year’s Revelations are my “waking up” moments of seeing the truth in myself and others’, of learning from my mistakes, and learning more about myself.

I use New Year’s Eve as my time of reflection back onto the year that is about to end. I look back at all that happened, good and bad. It’s a time to count my blessings of the year, and to be sure that I had many more gains than losses. It’s a time to look back at where I may have fallen short and try to understand why. It’s a time to look back at relationships that ended with honesty and respect, and letting them go. It’s taking my accountability for the ending, and moving on with no regrets and no intentions of ever going back.

It’s the night I say good-bye to all those people, places and things that no longer serve my highest good; that didn’t bring out the best in me; that caused me stress and heartache; that took advantage of me. And then I look at why it happened. Did I allow boundaries to be crossed? Did I allow their behaviors that hurt me? Did I put myself in a situation that broke me in two? And when I can answer that with an open and honest truth of “yes,” I can then begin to understand and see the lesson in it.

I learned many things this year, and I’d like to share a few with you. These are my top “waking up” moments, or “revelations,” if you will:

  • I learned that the old saying “keep your friends close and your enemies even closer” is an absolute lie! Nothing good comes from surrounding yourself with people who are negative and toxic, manipulative and untrustworthy. If you think you’re an enemy of someone, or they are an enemy to you, definitely keep them far away!
  • I learned that the other old saying “you always hurt the ones you love” may be truth, but not such a good idea. Trust me, hurting the ones you love will not serve you well.
  • I always knew how precious life was, especially having survived breast cancer, yet this year after losing some very special people in my life I’ve realized just how precious it is. No day is promised, and if you have a chance to spend time with those you love, do it! You may miss out on a chance that you’ll never get back.
  • I learned to say I love you to the ones’ I love more often, and to hug them all tighter.
  • I learned that if something seems too good to be true, most often times, it is.
  • I learned that if I do anything for the wrong reasons, I’ll soon learn those “wrong reasons” the hard way.
  • That no matter what anyone says, I will always be a dreamer and will always dream big! Why would anyone settle for less
  • And my biggest “revelation” was that I need to stand up for myself more, speak my truth always, and walk away from people or situations that are not good for me.

All in all, the past year has been filled with more “ups” than “downs,” and while a few people have had to leave my life, a few more amazing ones’ walked in. I know for sure that when you get rid of anything negative or toxic, you open the door to the positive coming in, and that’s what I did this past year, hard as some of it may have been.

As I close out 2017, I say good-bye to a few close friends and family that passed on, and I know in my heart I now have some amazing guardian angels watching over me. My heart has hurt over their passing, but the joy and love that they left me with has helped me through.

I’ve said good-bye to a few friends who were no longer welcome in my circle, yet they taught me what true friends are…and aren’t. I’m grateful for the lessons they taught me.

And as I get ready to welcome in the year of 2018, I look towards it with the promise of more dreams to catch, more life to celebrate, and more adventures to begin.

To all of you, I wish you adventure, dreams come true, love, light and all the good that you are willing to receive. Happy New Year and may your “New Year’s Revelation” be your guide into this New Year of 2018!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“When The World Put’s Things In Perspective”

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You get up in the morning and get ready to start your day, whether it’s work or getting the kids off to school or simply going through your daily routine. You try and stay away from stress, drama and toxic people, yet somehow those things seem to slip into your day and into your life. You feel upset, sad, drained and tired…and then the world steps in to show you what’s really important: “the people in it.”

We’ve all seen the devastation in Texas and now all of us sit listening to the radio and watching the news to see where Hurricane Irma is going to hit and who is going to be affected by it.

Yet we’re all affected by it, whether we’re in the wake of the storm or on the outside trying to help those in it.

Let’s take a good look at the world and all that’s happened in the last week and what’s about to happen this week. Let’s focus on keeping each other in our prayers and helping those get through it.

Forget the drama, the stress, and the toxic people…they’re a waste of time and don’t deserve our time. There are people in this world that are hurting and that do deserve our time and help.

Please take a moment to say a prayer for Texas and to keep those in the path of Hurricane Irma in our prayers.

And remember: “it’s time to make a difference and we can make a difference together.”

Wishing you love, light and safety,

~Anne Dennish~

“Life And Your Water Bottle”

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water bottles

I was talking to a friend the other day about her life and all the changes she wants to make, when suddenly I found myself saying to her: life is like a water bottle, if it’s filled to the top with all the negative people and situations in your life then there’s no room to fill it with the water of the positive.

She loved the analogy and I thought about it further. It’s always a good thing to be able to visualize things in a way that you can see it and understand, and my “water bottle” analogy is just that.

Imagine that we’re given one water bottle in our life, and that bottle represents our life. It’s filled with water, which is all the people and situations in our life. At the time those things may be purposeful in our life and best for our Highest Good, yet as time and life marches on, it changes. Suddenly you’re left wanting more, wanting something different or wanting to let go of certain people and situations.

But you can’t seem to do it, and that is the human nature of being afraid of change or of the unknown. We know what we need to leave behind yet we wonder what will happen if we let go. Will our life be worse or will it be better? Should we leave someone not knowing if someone better is waiting for us?

It’s a leap of faith in your Higher Power and in yourself.

I explained to her that at this time in her life her water bottle is filled with negativity, both with her job and personal life. I told her that unless she started emptying that water bottle of the negative she wouldn’t be able to fill it with anything new or more positive. She couldn’t replace the negative water until she poured it out and replaced it with the positive.

After all, you can’t put more water into a full bottle until you dump some water out.

And that is my analogy on letting go and moving forward.

Sometimes you have to visualize your life in a way that you can actually picture it, and the water bottle is simply one way to look at it.

Is your water bottle filled with all that is for your Highest Good or do you need to dump some of the water out so that the “good” water can be poured in?

It’s the same no matter how you look at it. When you keep the wrong people in your life or are in a situation that is not good for you then there’s no room for what’s in your best interest to come in.

I’ve been taught by my spiritual teachers throughout the years that you have to let go of that which no longer serves your Highest Good in order for something better to come in. Holding on to negativity in any way, shape or form will prevent anything better and more positive to come in.

Dump out your water bottle if your life isn’t the way you want it and fill it with all the good that the Universe has just waiting for you.

After all, I believe that once we rid ourselves of negativity, whether it’s people or situations, the world opens up with more positivity than we can imagine.

I know this for sure…

And it’s a good thing…

I promise.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Which Path Do I Choose?”

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There are times in my life that I find myself standing at the crossroad of which path to choose. It happens just as life is going along calmly, and it happens to change my path, offer me a new opportunity or simply to shake things up. It happens because something in my life needs to change, and while the change may be difficult, it’s necessary to move forward, take the next step, and live a better life.

I’m right at that point now. My career as a writer is taking me in directions I never thought possible and with these changes are decisions to be made in my life. I’m conscious of my life and the life that surrounds me. I pay attention to the signs I’m given by the Universe and I feel the emotions necessary to feel when faced with differences of opinions in my private life.

There are moments when the page we were once on together in a relationship change…one person stays on the same page while the other turns it. It doesn’t mean the end of the relationship but it brings change and sometimes the change isn’t what we had wanted but becomes a change of what was needed.

“Do I take the road known or the one less travelled and follow my heart?”road less travelled

I never take the road known because it offers me nothing more than the same thing over and over. I will always follow my heart and take the road less travelled because I trust my Higher Power, the Universe, and more importantly, I trust my intuition.

So I sit here now, thinking about the life I’m living in now and wondering what changes need to happen. What decisions need to be made? What do I need to do to move forward? How do my loved ones and I get back on the same page?

Life is changing for me and some of those changes can be a bit scary, especially when I don’t know how they’ll change my life, yet I have to trust my Higher Power and listen to my inner voice…my intuition. I need to pay attention to the life and people that surround me. I need to focus on myself first and believe that everything else will fall into place.

After all, I believe that “everything happens as it should, when it should and how it should.”

I don’t have all the answers to the questions, or even know what changes need to be made right now, but I do know which path to take and today is the first day of this new journey.

And I believe that it will be an amazing adventure.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Photo by EvnFlo Photography – 2017

 

 

 

“You Have The Control”

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You need to love yourself the way you want to be loved in order to know who should be in your life and who shouldn’t. All too often we think we’re not good enough for someone and we settle, or we allow them to treat us badly. We live in a life of being hurt and feeling bad about ourselves.

Listen carefully, you are in control of your life, and that includes how you’re treated and who you allow in your circle. Sometimes we feel so low that we believe we can’t change a situation or leave one. But you can…because I’ve done it. It took all the strength I could muster up but I did it and I’ve never looked back or regretted it. Taking control of my life and standing up for myself made me who I am today.

And trust me on this: “when you can’t find the strength, the strength will find you.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Wish Them What They Deserve”

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wish them well

I wrote this quote years ago and the reaction to it by some was a much different one than I had expected or anticipated. I didn’t write it with malice or ill-will, yet the people that took it that way had a reason for feeling that it was a nasty quote: they were afraid of what they “deserved.”

At the time I wrote these words I was in the process of letting some people in my life go. They had taught me life lessons and had become a “toxic” presence in my life, so it was time to wish them love and light and let them go. It’s a hard thing to wish someone who hurt you or betrayed you “well,” so I decided that I would wish them what they deserve, which is my way of putting the responsbility of what they deserve in the hands of the Universe.

And I didn’t mean any of it in a nasty way.

I believe that what you put out there in the world you get back; if you’re nasty and vindictive, at some point you’ll receive it back. If you’re a kind hearted soul, that will come back to you as well. Some call it karma; I call it the laws of attraction: you attract what you put out there.wish them well 2

I remember saying this quote to someone I knew well. He wasn’t the kindest guy in the world; he was selfish at times and self-centered most of the times. When I told him this quote he got all upset and said “why would you wish me what I deserve?”

My answer was: “Don’t you think you deserve all that is good? If someone wished me what I deserve I would be happy, because while I’m not perfect, I’ve lived my life being a kind and compasionate human being and I would think I deserved all that is good.”

His response: “Point taken.”

So you see, it’s not meant to be a cruel quote. It’s an honest one, and my feeling is if it offends you, then you need to look at yourself and your behavior and figure out why.

As for my tribe of people, if I tell them I wish them what they deserve, they know that what they deserve is all good stuff and I would feel the same if they said it to me.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~