Tonight is my last night in Delaware and I’m filled with so many mixed emotions. We trekked up to Jersey yesterday to empty our storage unit and came back today to load it with the rest of my things. Tomorrow we leave for the West Coast of Florida. It’s a very bittersweet time for me. Life is about to change and it’s a big one! I’ve lived at the Jersey Shore my entire life and spent this past summer in Delaware. Tomorrow I leave both places behind to begin a new life, a new adventure, in Florida.
I’m exhausted and will certainly keep you posted on my next adventure but for tonight, I’m spending a quiet night silently saying good-bye to all that I’m leaving behind and saying a silent prayer of gratitude for the amazing life I’ve had for all these years at the Jersey Shore and in Delaware.
Tomorrow another chapter begins and tonight this chapter closes.
Here’s to change and all the wondrous things that life has to offer.
I woke up this morning, looked into the mirror and said, “What happened to you?” If you’ve been following me you’ll know that I’ve been in a strange place in the last few weeks and I’m not talking about location. I’m talking about my mindset and feeling lost, needing a routine and needing a kick in the pants to get back to where I was with my writing.
So it was no surprise that the girl I saw in the mirror was a bit disappointed in me. It’s as if she was saying “Why’d you let this happen to you? Get back to doing things that make you feel good about yourself and make you feel happy.” And she was right.
I got to thinking about the last few weeks. I’m a girl that loves to wear make-up yet I haven’t had any on in weeks. I didn’t see the reason to put it on if I wasn’t going out. I usually get a pedicure every few weeks but didn’t see the importance of it right now. I haven’t listened to much music lately because I didn’t feel the need to dance.
Now there’s something to think about. Why was that? Why wasn’t I still doing all the things that made me feel good about myself? Was it just because I moved? Was it because I wasn’t working? Was it because I wasn’t going out as much?
Yes and no.
And as I thought about it I changed my mindset. I shouldn’t have to have a reason to do what makes me happy and feel good about myself. I should be the reason.
Suddenly, it all made sense. Circumstances and location shouldn’t matter. Nothing should matter except that it makes me feel good and if I feel good then I can do more good for others. If I’m happy I can share that with the world.
Take my advice and my lesson learned and “do what makes YOU feel good,” no matter what. I’ve realized how important of a piece these things are for me in getting back into a routine.
“You don’t need a reason to do the things that make you feel happy and good about yourself. YOU are the reason! And YOU are a very good reason.”
I’ve been in Delaware for about a month now and have had way too much time to “think” about why I haven’t been writing as much as I used to, why I haven’t finished the final edits on my new book or why I feel so lost.
After much soul searching I got my answer: I lost my routine.
And in losing my “routine” I’ve lost my balance and a little bit of myself.
Back in Jersey I was working full-time and writing in my free time. I don’t miss working the daily grind BUT I do miss the routine. I’d get up everyday at 5:30, grab my coffee and do my hair and makeup as I peered out the window to see the sunrise. I was off to work by 8 and home after 4. It was a “routine.”
The other piece I’m missing is the daily interaction with my boss, co-workers, customers and vendors. I was always meeting someone new and interesting, yet I can remember coming home some days and not wanting to talk to anyone because I was “talked out” from work. Now I long for those days of communication.
It’s quiet here and unless we go out, there’s not much communication with the outside world. There are days that I wish my phone would ring with a friendly voice on the other end just ready for a nice, long conversation.
But it doesn’t and I feel as though I’m left with too much idle time and that’s not me.
This move wasn’t easy but I know that finding a routine here is in my best interest. I’m lost without one. I’m lost without accountability for a job. I’m lost being away from the friends and places that I loved.
Maybe I took too much of that for granted and can now see how important all of that was for me. I can definitely see it now and while there’s no sense in missing it all, there is a sense in being grateful that I had it in the first place.
Today is a new day and I have to push myself to find a new “routine.” I need to make myself accountable for a full time job as a writer. I need to stop feeling lost and find what works for me. And instead of missing my friends and places, I need to incorporate them into a new routine of seeing them when I can.
“Mindset and perspective” are what I’ve been lacking and thankfully this time of feeling lost helped to change mine and hopefully has me moving forward in the right direction.
I believe that “it’s the times we feel most lost in our lives that we’re actually finding ourselves.”
And I believe the last month of feeling lost has helped me to find myself again.
That’s the constant thought in my head every morning that I wake up. I guess you could say that this is my first attempt at following my own advice.
We’ve been in Delaware for three weeks now and they’ve not been the best. My significant other broke two ribs during the move which left the lifting and unpacking to me. Unfortunately, I ended up pulling out my back and suffering with a pinched nerve for 12 days. As you can see, it hasn’t been a smooth transition.
I’m trying to find all the positives in the midst of the pain and turmoil. We’re in a beautiful RV resort for the summer and it’s quite peaceful yet I’m homesick and missing my Jersey Shore a lot!
I feel a little lost here. It’s been an emotional couple of months as I helped my parents move out of our childhood home, moved myself, left my job and moved to another state. I guess I should give myself a pass for feeling the way that I do. It’s not been easy for me and I was so excited for this change! What I’m not happy about is that I haven’t written much since I’ve been here and that was something that I was looking forward to: “retired and writing!”
So here I sit, finally able to “start somewhere.” I’ve missed you all and I hope that this is the beginning of me getting back to ME!
Writing is like breathing to me and I’m so glad that I could share this “first breath” with all of you!
You mean the world to me.
Here’s to “starting somewhere.” I’m feeling grateful that I finally could!
Two weeks ago my brother, sister and I gathered at our childhood home to say good-bye to it. We’d been packing up my parents house for months and the time to bid farewell was upon us. This was the house we grew up in and as my sister and I sat one afternoon in the living room, it suddenly hit us that this was our tie to the Jersey Shore and even though my parents were snowbirds, the grandkids always had a place to stop in the summer for a grilled cheese, to do laundry or just spend time with their grandparents. The same rings true for my brother and sister. I’ve been lucky enough to have lived at the shore all of my life so when they weren’t in Florida, they were home and I was close by. Yet time marches on, life changes and my parents will now be living in Florida full-time. It’s a big change for all of us because the only way we’ll see them now is to visit them there.
It wasn’t easy going through all the things that my parents had saved, yet we certainly had a few laughs along the way. It was a time of remembering our youth and telling old stories.
The same day that I moved from the Jersey Shore to Delaware was the same day I said good-bye to my parents and to my childhood home. Life will never be the same without this old house but it’s time for the next chapter and a new adventure for all of us.
I love this picture below of the five of us. It’s the first time we’ve all been together in years and we certainly spent much of that time laughing! That’s how we said good-bye to our house on the boulevard.
I know that the world is a troubled place right now and so much has happened in the last few days, but I also believe that even in the midst of it all, it’s important to remember the good times and to be grateful. Memories are a good distraction, if only for a brief moment or two, to bring us back to simpler, even happier times in our life.
Hold onto the memories and embrace the next chapter with open arms.
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“Overwhelmed and bittersweet” are two words that have been in my vocabulary these last few weeks and there’s a good reason as to why.
My parents are moving out of our childhood home and I’ve been spending much of my weekends and days after work packing them up and selling their furniture. It’s bittersweet finding so many memories of my childhood and selling off furniture that we all spent time around as a family. The packing can be overwhelming and it’s bittersweet in knowing that this house was our connection to the Jersey Shore.
I will be leaving my job at the end of this month and have decided to spend a few months in Delaware to promote my new book and write the sequel. In addition to that I will continue working with the publisher on the final edits for my new novel, “The Mind of a Heart ” which should be ready for release in the next few weeks. I’m also working on creating a weekly podcast and motivational/inspirational virtual group.
I’m okay with all these changes but they do mean that I will be moving away from my beloved Jersey Shore in May. I’ve lived here all of my life and can’t imagine being so far away from the beach and the local towns that I love but it’s time for change. These changes are overwhelming at times and most definitely bittersweet.
I have to remind myself to enjoy what time I have left at the Jersey Shore and focus on the excitement of the next chapter in my life.
And I am very excited about where this next adventure will take me.
I’m saying goodbye to feeling overwhelmed and hello to feeling grateful for the “bittersweet” because that means that it all meant the world to me.
I stopped down at the beach before work this morning. It was absolutely beautiful, as always, and I thought about how grateful I am for this life of mine.
And I couldn’t help but think that this was the perfect way to spend my last day as “60” and the perfect way to get ready for my next trip around the sun tomorrow.
I’m truly grateful for my life, no matter what it’s handed me.
My prayer is to take each year around the sun that I’m gifted to have and do whatever I can to change someone’s life for the better and to help make this world a better place.
And my prayers every day are for peace for all of us.
Anne Dennish - Writer/Author 