“What” Is Not As Important As “Why”

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“What’s” happened to you in your life isn’t as important as “why” it happened. ~AD~

We all experience some difficult situations in our life and I’ve come to accept and understand that the “what” that’s happened to me isn’t as important as  the“why” that it did.

We’re so quick to blame others for our difficult times, yet we have a hand in those situations as well. Perhaps we aren’t being our authentic self or standing in our truth to those around us. Maybe we change “who” we are according to the people we are around at a particular moment. I can tell you that I’ve learned that I am in control of what I allow to happen to me and it’s up to me to set healthy boundaries for my highest good…and it’s not always easy to do.

I had breast cancer and it can’t always be prevented, yet I could have had a mammogram sooner than I had; I went 5 years without one and only had one done when I found my tumor. So while this “what” may have been destined to happen to me, the “why” it happened when it did was because I wasn’t loving myself enough to get that mammogram every year like I should have. I know better now.

I’ve lived through divorce and a bad relationship. The “what” that caused an ending to these relationships isn’t as important as the “why” it happened. It happened because I was allowing those people to treat me in a way I didn’t deserve. What you allow will continue and it did for me until I realized I deserved better and decided to stop it.

And I’ve lived through emotional, verbal and physical abuse. It went on for years until I finally put an end to it. “What” was said and done to me isn’t as important as “why” it was done to me. It happened because I let it happen. I wasn’t as strong as I am now, my self-esteem was non-existent, and I blamed myself for causing all those things that were said and done to me then. I was at the bottom and when I finally decided that enough was enough, I pulled myself up off the floor and began to see clearly of the “why” it happened. I began to get stronger day by day and set up boundaries that were never again to be crossed by anyone, and if they were, I certainly recognized it sooner. It happened because I let it, not because I deserved it. It was yet another life lesson for me to learn.

You have to love yourself, respect yourself, and know that you don’t deserve to be treated badly by anyone, especially by yourself. Let’s face it, we’re all masters of self-sabotage at times…we can hurt ourselves better than the person who is hurting us. Yet that’s not the way it should be; you know that as well as I do.

It’s time we all, myself included, stop focusing on the “what” that happened to us and start looking deep within ourselves to see our truth of the“why” it happened.

It’s then that we learn and grow and move forward into the life we want and deserve.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Feel, Deal and Heal”

I’ve gone through my share of, what most may say, are traumatic experiences: divorce, cancer, and abuse, to name a few. When I share these experiences publicly many people ask me how I’m still standing, how in the world did I become so positive after so many negative things happened to me.

My answer is always the same: Because I chose to get through and I’m standing even stronger.

And how is that possible?

Because I knew I had to feel all the emotions that came with those “traumas” and deal with them; and that’s how I was able to heal.

No one wants to feel hurt, sadness or brokenness, yet we all do at some point in our life. Many people block those emotions; they tuck them away and believe that they moved on from them. I can tell you that they didn’t. Ignoring what you have to face is lying to yourself and eventually all those emotions you didn’t deal with will catch up with you at some point in your life. They always do.

And when they do catch up with you those around you pay the price for it as well.

Don’t you want to feel happy? Don’t you want to find joy in your life? Don’t you want to let go of an experience that caused you pain?

Sure you do…we all do.

So do it. Take a long look in the mirror at yourself and let your truth come through. Take that experience and all the pain that came with it and deal with it. Feel the pain, the heartache and let the healing waters of your tears flow to release it all. Then forgive the experience so you no longer hold onto it and then forgive yourself for allowing it to hold you back from the happiness you want and deserve.

You can run from those traumatic experiences but trust me, you can’t hide from them until you deal with them.

Feel, deal and heal, my friends.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~

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“That’s What Love Does”

We don’t always understand why someone we love and care about is upset or sad, but we can try.

That’s what love does.

Love listens, it tries to understand, it wraps its’ arms around you to make you feel safe, and it allows you to be who you are.

Love doesn’t criticize you but complement’s you.

Love doesn’t judge you but embraces your flaws.

Love helps to heal you but doesn’t try to hurt you.

True, honest, unconditional love can do some amazing things.

And it’s time that we all share that love with the people we love…

“Shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel.”

Because that’s what love does.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“One Day It Just Clicks”

“It takes but one moment in your life that you find yourself waking up.” ~Anne Dennish~

And that’s the day that it all just clicks…you see things differently, change your perspective and begin to move forward.

Life is a series of many “waking up moments” and “just clicks days.” It’s part of the journey and those moments are filled with valuable lessons for us to live the best life we can.

Some of those moments are wonderful and some not so wonderful, but they are important moments to have because it pushes us to change for the better, to grow as a person, and to open our eyes to the truths that lie in front of us.

I’ve had quite a few “waking up” moments in the last few weeks and while they weren’t all that pleasant, I learned some valuable lessons from them. I also was reminded of the lessons I have learned in the past that I had forgotten in the present.

Life is a series of “waking up moments” and “just clicks days,” both good and bad, yet how we handle them, how we see them, and how we react to them determines how we get through them.

Love yourself enough to value those moments and embrace the lessons that they give to you.

After all…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Finding Strength In The Struggle”

 I’d like to say that the week has gotten better but sometimes life throws you another challenge and it’s done that to me. This is a difficult journey for me, yet day by day I’m finding my strength and keeping my thoughts as positive as I can.

 

I believe that everything, even some of the worst situations, happens for a reason. There are moments that the Universe hands us a difficult situation to stop us in our tracks, to make us pay attention. It’s during those moments that we have to stop and see the truth of how we’re living our life. We have to look deep at our relationships, careers, and even our lifestyle.

It’s the ultimate moment of truth…and it’s your truth, not anyone else’s.

This journey is challenging, and I believe in the end it will be life changing for me. It already is.

Today is a new day and I embrace all that it has to offer.

And I’m sure that the biggest gift it will offer me today is “truth.”

And I’m okay with that.

After all, it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Memoir Writing With Anne Dennish – GenZ Podcast

Take a listen to my latest podcast with GenZ Publishing! Feel free to leave comments or ask questions!

Enjoy!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Kindness Counts”

I’d be lying to you if I said the recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain didn’t still upset me, because they do. Even more so than those two suicides are countless social media posts about the number of people who take their own lives, of the importance of understanding mental illness, and the faces of those who suffer and have suffered from these illnesses.

Kate and Anthony were public figures, yet to see just how many people actually do take their own lives is unbelievable. There are no pictures for the world to see on social media of these people; they were living their life just as we all do.

Yet there’s so much more to each and every story of suicide.

And I, for one, can’t even begin to know how to understand them all, except to say that they’re all tragic, sad, and heartbreaking.

What I can do is keep writing words of encouragement and inspiration to all of you; I can keep writing stories to share with you in the hopes that it may touch the heart of someone who needed to read it; and I can keep doing something every day of my life to make a difference in the world and in the life of another.

Let’s do this together.

Let’s start today.

One act of kindness can change the day or even the life of another human being. We don’t always know what someone else is going through, so be kind to each other with both your words and your actions.

Kindness counts.

We all count.

Remember that.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Life As A Writer”

I’ve been writing all of my life, since the day I could hold a pencil in my hand and learn to spell. It’s something as natural to me as breathing. When I was a young child my stories were nothing more than a few sentences and a crayon drawing at the bottom of the page.

Through high school and college I could be found sitting on the beach like a Bohemian hippie, writing lyrics and poetry. There were nights you would find me in the hallway of my dorm, hot pot of instant coffee and me sitting against the wall with a notebook writing through the middle of the night while all the other college students were asleep.

During my marriage and raising children I began keeping a journal about my feelings of being a wife and mom. I wrote poetry and journal entries which would become short stories.

I was always writing something.

Yet until a few years ago whenever someone asked what I did I would say I’m a mom. I was a Sunday School teacher, a soccer mom, PTA mom, Cub Scout leader and a Brownie leader. There was never a mention of “I’m a writer.”

It’s funny how you can write and write your whole life and never say you were a writer.

Until my first book was published.

Well, even when it was published I still would say “I write books.”

It was my close high school friend, Rich, that said to me one day: “Why don’t you say what you are? You’re a writer. You’re a published author. You’re exactly what you wanted to be.”

Wow…I never thought of myself as that.

And why?

There’s really no definitive answer “why” I never said it or thought it; I spent most of my life raising my kids, so to think of myself as someone other than that seemed like a foreign concept to me.

Yet the truth of the matter is that I AM a writer. I AM a published author. I AM a lyricist.

And I’m even more than that.

I’m a writer who uses her words to heal and help others and try and make a difference in the world.

Writing is a part of my everyday life and as much a part of me as breathing is.

And as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that I can use my writing to share my experiences with others; to help them through a difficult time; to let them know they’re not alone.

Writing is my voice that I want to be heard.

Writing is my heart reaching out to love the world.

Writing is my soul that shares it passion.

Writing is my passion and my dream come true.

Writing is the one way I know to reach out to people. It’s my way of helping, sharing and making a difference in one life and one day, I hope, the world.

My name is Anne Dennish.

And I’m a writer.

And it’s a very good thing…for me.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Podcast 2 – What Kind Of Person Do You Want To Be?”

“Podcast 3 – Stay Out Of My Bubble”