“There’s Strength In The Tears”

I’ve had many people tell me how strong I am and I always wondered why they thought that. After all, I had bad days, sad days, and days of crying for no reason and every reason. Was this being strong? I didn’t think so until a few years ago when I changed my perspective on tears and what they meant.

Tears are our soul’s way of releasing the pain, the pleasure and the emotion built up within us. Tears cleanse our soul of those feelings so that we can again move on with our life. Tears are simply a moment in time that was necessary for our Highest Good.strength and tears

My cousin is a strong woman, the one I call “the gypsy.” I’ve seen her cry and heard her ask me how people could think she was so strong? Well, a few years ago I would have given her a different answer, but on that day I told her she was strong, especially since she knew that there were moments when she knew she had to cry, and she was strong enough to allow herself to cry.

I believe that your strength is in knowing yourself well enough to know that you have to shed a tear or two, or a thousand. Your strength is allowing yourself the time it takes to release your emotions and knowing that you need to do this for yourself.

And your strength is picking yourself up, wiping the tears from your face, and moving forward. Your strength is knowing that you’ve released all that you needed to for that moment and knew it was time to smile again.

That is strength.

Strength is knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and willing to be who you are despite the opinions of anyone else.

Strength is knowing when you need a day to cry, to feel emotions, to miss someone, to want someone, to lose someone. Your strength is within you and the tears you release are merely the soul’s way of helping you through your pain and sadness.

Cry if you need to and cry if you want to… after all, “it won’t be like this forever, just for today!”

And after you’re done, smile, smile, smile!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

just for today 1

 

 

 

 

“Which Path Do I Choose?”

There are times in my life that I find myself standing at the crossroad of which path to choose. It happens just as life is going along calmly, and it happens to change my path, offer me a new opportunity or simply to shake things up. It happens because something in my life needs to change, and while the change may be difficult, it’s necessary to move forward, take the next step, and live a better life.

I’m right at that point now. My career as a writer is taking me in directions I never thought possible and with these changes are decisions to be made in my life. I’m conscious of my life and the life that surrounds me. I pay attention to the signs I’m given by the Universe and I feel the emotions necessary to feel when faced with differences of opinions in my private life.

There are moments when the page we were once on together in a relationship change…one person stays on the same page while the other turns it. It doesn’t mean the end of the relationship but it brings change and sometimes the change isn’t what we had wanted but becomes a change of what was needed.

“Do I take the road known or the one less travelled and follow my heart?”road less travelled

I never take the road known because it offers me nothing more than the same thing over and over. I will always follow my heart and take the road less travelled because I trust my Higher Power, the Universe, and more importantly, I trust my intuition.

So I sit here now, thinking about the life I’m living in now and wondering what changes need to happen. What decisions need to be made? What do I need to do to move forward? How do my loved ones and I get back on the same page?

Life is changing for me and some of those changes can be a bit scary, especially when I don’t know how they’ll change my life, yet I have to trust my Higher Power and listen to my inner voice…my intuition. I need to pay attention to the life and people that surround me. I need to focus on myself first and believe that everything else will fall into place.

After all, I believe that “everything happens as it should, when it should and how it should.”

I don’t have all the answers to the questions, or even know what changes need to be made right now, but I do know which path to take and today is the first day of this new journey.

And I believe that it will be an amazing adventure.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

shoot 26

Photo by EvnFlo Photography – 2017

 

 

 

“Knee Deep In Writing”

marketing ventures 3

I’ve been knee deep in finishing up my next book, “My Collective Soul, Things I Know Without Knowing Why.” It’s been long days and nights of writing for 14 hours followed by a day of recuperating from it all. It’s been nights of “take out” for dinner and spending time with Rob and the kids during one of my hourly five minute breaks.

And I love every minute of it.

I love the writing for hours and hours, the pushing myself late into the night even though I’m exhausted, and I love the pressure of having a deadline.

I love getting up in the wee hours of the morning, putting on my headset and sitting down at the laptop with my coffee to begin the process all over again.

This kind of exhaustion is exciting because I’m doing what I love and what I know I’m meant to do: write!

I know that life has been a bit different in our house. The normal tasks of laundry and cleaning are on the back burner at the moment; the time of relaxing and watching television with Rob are limited; and my kids have become used to saying good-bye in the morning to me while I’m sitting with my headset on and writing and they’re used to coming home and seeing me the same way.marketing ventuers 4

And they’re all okay with this. They love and support me through this time right now and I hope they know how much that means to me. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without their understanding and support.

I couldn’t do any of this without the support of my closest friends and Rob’s family, who have become my family. They keep me going when I’m exhausted and are there to answer the phone if I need to talk to them. Those phone calls help to get me back in balance and are the encouragement I need at the moment I need it.

The new book is just about ready to go to my publisher, Morissa Schwartz, owner of GenZ Publishing. She believed in me and was willing to take me on as one of her authors, marketing ventures 2and for that I’m grateful.

And in the middle of all this writing are meetings and phone calls from my marketing team, Marketing Ventures. Jill, Jennifer and Lora are amazing and are making dreams come true for me. They’ve gifted me with opportunities I never thought possible and they’re still working at gifting me with more! I’m grateful to them for all their hard work at promoting me. It’s growing into more than a business agreement between us; it’s growing into a friendship. It’s a beautiful thing.

And that’s what my life has been like lately. It’s filled with everything I love, and while mentally exhausted, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

My dreams are coming true day by day and I’m glad that I never gave up on them. There were times things weren’t working the way I wanted, yet I knew everything would work out when it was meant to.

Sometimes our best dreams don’t go the way we want; they turn into “better” dreams that we never could have imagined.

You can’t give up.

You have to remember that “everything happens as it should, when it should, and how it should.”

I’m living proof that it does.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

marketing ventures

Just a “typical” marketing business meeting with Jill and Jennifer!

“What Would You Change?”

We’re all a work in progress and there are times when life isn’t exactly the way we wantchange 2 it and we have to ask ourselves “why?” No one can change us or fix a problem in our life; only we can do that. So today I ask you if there’s one thing you could change about yourself or your life, what would it be?

Please take a minute to think about it and post a comment…you may be giving someone else something to think about.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Under The Tree – Just Me”

under the tree uncle bobI sit here this morning alone  with my coffee while all my loved ones are asleep, thinking to myself that I can’t wait for this month of March to be over. I lost a very close friend two weeks ago and last night I lost my “favorite” uncle. It seems that throughout my life this month of March has brought pain and heartache, and sadly, I have the proof to back it up. Anyone who knows me will joke and say to me”ugh, it’s that month of March for you.” And so it is, and so I try every year to change it. This year has been a tough one, and this morning I’m grieving and my heart is hurting.

I  hadn’t heard from my close friend, Rosamond, in almost two weeks, so my love and I trekked over to her house, only to find that the car hadn’t been moved and the house was locked up. I came home, called the local police and received the phone call I was dreading an hour later: they found her in her home, and she had passed away.

She was just 70 years old, but one of my closest friends and my greatest spiritual teacher. She was the one who introduced me to this amazing circle of “Angel” people that have been my teachers as well. I miss her everyday and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked up the phone to call her…yet she’ll never answer.

Last night I received a call from my cousin on the West Coast. He called to tell me my most favorite uncle had lost his battle to brain cancer. I knew it was coming but I wasn’t ready to

uncle bobby 8

My “favorite uncle” with his “favorite niece.”

know it. He was just 68 years old and a man that had a life of love and passion, excitement and adventure. No matter what life handed him, including cancer, he made the best of it. I’d love to believe that this part of him is part of me.

I’m feeling the loss so deeply this morning, yet I also believe that when someone passes we can still hear them…and sometimes still feel them. I’m grieving at the loss of the physical touch and the sound of their voice.

This morning I’m sitting quietly outside while the rest of my house is asleep; I’m sitting under my “magic tree,” which hasn’t yet bloomed, but it’s still magic. It’s under this tree that I wrote a poem which turned into a song by the same name; it’s under this tree that I can hear my loved ones on the other side; I can hear their reassurance of them being okay and that I will be too; I hear them whisper “I love you and always will” to me; I hear them that they take our love for them with them and that their love for us will always be a part of us; and I hear them assure me that they will always be with me, and that all I need is to speak to them, and they will listen and answer.

It’s this belief that helps me grieve and heal and brings me a sense of peace that while their physical body may be gone, their spiritual soul lives on. And it lives on in me.

Today I remember Rosamond, and I wish my Uncle Bob well on his travels to the other side, knowing he’ll be whole, he’ll be healthy, and he’ll be carrying all our love with him.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~”

*I wrote this song over a year ago and today I dedicate it to my “favorite uncle,” my Uncle Bobby and to my dear friend, Rosamond

 

“Maybe You’re A Dreamer”

dreamer 1

I wrote that quote two years ago amidst some naysayers telling me that I was a dreamer and should be more focused on the “real world.” They felt that all my dreams were “nice” but that they were to far fetched; too high to reach for; too ridiculous. They thought I should be focused on “reality.”

I used to believe that it was a bad thing to be a dreamer; that it meant you were living in a fantasy world, not reality. I thought about what they said, took into account WHO was saying those things to me, and realized something about myself: “I am a  dreamer and I do live in reality;  but I still believe in going after my dreams because the difference is I have faith, and they don’t.”

I’ve come to realize that the people who critisize my dreams are the one’s who have no idea how to pursue their own. They are the one’s who look at me and see what they wish they could do: believe in themselves. And they are the one’s who will hurt and criticize me the most because they’re afraid.

They’re afraid to take a chance on their own dreams; they’re afraid to step out of their comfort zone; they’re afraid to do something new; they’re afraid to change. And that’s their choice.

And my choice is to be a dreamer.

“Dream big and make it happen!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

*Here’s a song I wrote about myself called “The Dreamer.” Who says dreams can’t come true? Not me!

Lyrics by Anne Dennish – Music by Sutton Thomas Music – Vocals by Sutton Thomas & Anne Dennish

“The Sweetness of Doing Nothing”

It’s a lazy Sunday morning in my home today.  My love and I are sipping our coffee a bit more slowly and are in no hurry to get dressed for the day. I can already see that it will be a day of sweat pants, big comfy shirts and slippers, mindless television and catching up on reading.

It will be a day of “dolce far niente” which in Italian means “the sweetness of doing nothing.” And after a busy day yesterday, this is just what the doctor ordered for everyone in my house: a day of doing nothing…together.

“Dolce far niente” is one of my favorite Italian quotes and one of the most important ones for me to remember. All of us get so busy in life that we forget to do nothing, and doing nothing together can be the most meaningful way to spend your time. Sometimes we have to slow our life down to be ready for when it speeds up.

“The sweetness of doing nothing” means that you can breathe, meditate, think, talk, love and laugh with no agenda of time limits or constraints…just time “to be.”

Find your “sweetness of doing nothing.” It will inspire you, motivate you, and allow you the time to rest and relax. It will fill you with peace and serenity…and that is a good thing!

“Dolce far niente…”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

dolce far niente

Photo by Anne Dennish – copyright @2017

 

“Getting Your Balls Back”

I once put two brass balls in a plastic bag and gave them to my girlfriend. I told her that if I ever lost them again to give them back to me.

I was a different woman then than I am now when I went through my divorce. It was over 10 years ago and that woman I was seems so foreign to me now.

I remember that at that time I made many changes in my life; I had lost weight, been college booksworking out at the gym, and had gone back to college to take creative writing courses. I was invited by my professor, a published author as well, to join his writer’s workshop. It was the best time of my life, yet also the darkest time knowing that there was a divorce to go through.

Yet I was strong. All those things I was doing for “me” gave me the strength to endure a nasty divorce. I felt good about myself, I felt like my brain was functioning like a writer, not just a mom, and I was in great shape. I will always believe that my Higher Power had directed me to all those positive changes to make me stronger, because He knew what was just around the corner for me.working out

I thought at that time that my children would feel like their mother had “left the building” because I was doing a lot of things, good things, for me. Yet that wasn’t so. I remember them being so proud of me for all of it, and I realized that all the things I did for myself were making me a better “mom” to them. What a feeling and what a lesson to learn. Sometime we “mom’s” think that if we’re doing things for ourselves that our children will suffer. So not true. It made my relationship with my kids even stronger, and to hear them brag to their friends about their mom going back to school and writing a book was one of the best moments I ever experienced as their mother. My oldest son loved the fact that I was working out and used to joke with his friends that “they better watch out because my mom can beat you up!” So simple, yet so empowering.

And that’s when I realized and learned that doing good things for me isn’t selfish. It made me a stronger and better woman and mom, and all that good stuff spilled onto my kids.

Sadly, it didn’t spill onto my husband. He hated it all. I look back objectively now and see that he may have felt threatened that this woman he controlled for over 20 years suddenly had a mind and body all her own, and she did it without him. I actually did it because of him.

Everything happens for a reason and I look back at that time and truly believe that all those things I did for myself were put in my path to make me strong, because once the divorce process began, my world changed. And it was all that I did for myself that helped to get me through.

It was sad enough that the marriage had been abusive on all levels, yet the divorce was even worse. The details aren’t important but the outcome is: I’m a different woman now and living in a happy life with two of my five children and the love of my life.

Yet there were times I lost my strength during it. I was a single mom taking care of the mental and physical well being of five children; I was the woman dealing with lawyers and sitting through mediations, which were a waste of time. I was tired, lonely, and so wanting it to be over.

My serenity at that time was in the backyard of my girlfriend. I could shed my tears there, talk for as long as I needed, and could always count on her shoulder to cry on. I remember one day she looked at me and said “where’d your balls go? You’re such a strong woman but not now? You gotta find your balls again, girlfriend.”

And so I did. I put two of them in that bag and told her to give them back to me if I ever lost them again.

And I never did.

Well, to be honest, there are times I feel weak and ready to give up, but I always remember that bag of balls that she still has and that’s enough for me to get them back.

And I always do…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

brass balls 1

“On The Outside Looking In”

invisible me 3

There are times in my life when I feel like I’m on the outside looking in and I know in my heart that it’s okay to feel that way, because:

“Sometimes you need to step outside of your life in order to see what’s inside of it”.

Do you ever find yourself getting lost in the midst of your day to day routine? Getting lost among your loved ones, finding yourself wondering who you are anymore? Are you a mom, a wife, a “life partner?” And where are “you?” Where did you go?

It’s not a conscious decision to be on the outside. It just happens. One day you wake up and don’t feel like yourself; you feel like you’re “on the outside looking in.” At least for me that’s how it happens. And there’s no time frame for it; you feel that way for as long as it takes to see and learn what you need to, and it could be a day or two, or longer.

Sometimes amidst the routine of loving and caring for my nearest and dearest I suddenly find myself wondering where I went to…where am I in all this. It seems like everything is about everybody else, but not me.

I feel like no one notices me unless they need something, and tempers are shortened when I’m not doing what I should be…for them. I spoiled them by doing it all, and I love doing it all, but I also love being loved and cared for by THEM. I want them to spoil me just a bit, I want them to notice my feelings, I want them to reassure me of their love and commitment to me as much as I do to them. I don’t want to be taken for granted.

Yet on the other hand, I believe that being on the “outside” is most often times the only way we can observe our life; it’s the one way we can be objective by looking in from the outside at each person and each situation; it’s the best way we can see what is or isn’t and learn from it.

It’s the best way to see ourselves objectively.

And that’s when the lessons are learned.

We observe the behavior of others towards us; we see how they’re treating us and how we’re reacting to it. We see what the truth of our relationships are and what they aren’t. We see our strengths and our weaknesses, and we can see whether or not we’re speaking our truth.

Often times we find ourselves on the outside when we’re holding too much inside; we’re not speaking our truth for fear of the outcome. It’s that fear thing holding us back and keeping us on the outside.

I’m looking from the outside at all the excitement everyone around me is having; new adventures, exciting opportunities, and movement, yet I’m not a part of it. I’m here, in a life of laundry and cooking, responsibility and reality.

I’m looking at this girl I once knew who had one adventure after another, more excitement than she knew what to do, and an appetite for life and all it had to offer. Life slowed down on her, and she stepped back and she stepped into solitude; the woman who’s life revolves around every one else’s became invisible to those she loved most.

Yet, it was her fault. She allowed it, she contributed to it, and by not speaking her truth, those around her never knew how she was feeling. She had hoped that they would; but they didn’t. And I guess in the end,  it doesn’t matter, because that’s what being on the outside is about, and she knows that it’s up to her to get back to the inside.

So, here I sit on the outside, observing, making decisions, and making big changes. I want those adventures again; I want to feel the excitement of my passion again; I want to be me again.

And so I will. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even being on the outside, and once I  get back to the inside I feel that my life will be even better than it is now.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

outside looking in

“The Gift In A Sunrise”

aaaaa

I believe that everything happens for a reason and this morning was no exception. My love had to be up at 4 am this morning, which meant I was up with him! Once he left I grabbed my coffee and sat down at my laptop, my usual morning routine. As I was trying to piece together an article, I caught a glimpse of the sky in my backyard. It was no longer pitch black, but getting brighter. I knew that meant one thing: the sun was coming up.

I haven’t been up for a sunrise in awhile, and the thought crossed my mind to go down to my “happy place” to see it. It’s still freezing here, but I decided to throw on my big red coat, grab my coffee and camera, and head out. I was so afaid it would rise before I got there, yet as I pulled into the marina parking lot, I knew I still had time.

The sky was a burnt orange color reflecting off the water. It wasn’t windy like it has been herebbbbbbbbbbbb for days, but a gentle breeze blew strong enough to make ripples across the water. The seagulls and ducks were silhouettes against the sky and as I sat there I thought how incredibly lucky I am to live near the water, and how grateful I am that I was up to see this awesome show in the sky.

I’m so drawn to this beautiful area that I call my “happy place.” It’s the place I go to think, to listen and to just “be.” It’s the place that holds beautiful sunrises, sunsets, and amazing glitters of sunshine across the water throughout the day.

It was a perfect Monday morning and a great way to welcome in spring. The weather is still cold here at the Jersey Shore, but spring has definitely sprung! My heart is warm with this beautiful gift of the sunrise this morning and I know that any day that starts out like this will hold some endless possibilities.

Everything does happen for a reason, and sometimes even the earliest of mornings and latest of nights can bring a beautiful surprise or two into your life…you just have to be open to seeing it all.

Happy First Day Of Spring!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

All photos by Anne Dennish – copyright @2017