friendships

“Be That Person”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

We’ve all gone through tough times in our lives.

Some people let those difficult situations make them a better person; they learn the lessons, heal themselves, and get back up on their feet even stronger.

Then there are those people that let those difficult situations make them a bitter person; they can’t see that there was a lesson to learn through the experience, they don’t or won’t heal from it, and they’d rather stay down than pick themselves up.

The better person learns to forgive and let it go; they continue moving forward, no matter what life hands them. They use their experiences to help others and love the world.

The bitter person holds onto the anger and refuses to forgive; they stay stuck in the negative emotions of the experience and can’t see all the endless possibilities that are outside of that time. They’re unable to love the world because their bitterness prevents them from loving themselves.

Which person are you?

Be that person that learns from the tough times and embraces the lessons learned from it; be that person who continues to love the world even if the world isn’t loving you back the way you want; be that person who keeps moving forward and uses the difficult times and the triumph of overcoming them to share with others.

Be that person.

I know that you can.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

be that person

“Those Waking Up Moments”

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“It takes but one moment in your life that you find yourself waking up.”
~Anne Dennish~

 

“Waking Up” was the title of my last book and of the song I wrote to go with it. It was born out of my journey with breast cancer when a nurse asked me on my last day of treatment how the experience affected me. My answer was quick: “It woke me up.”

And it sure did.

But you don’t need to go through an illness to “wake up” to your life and how you’re living it.

I believe we all have those moments of “waking up” in which we see a situation differently…we see it with open eyes and more clarity. We see the truth. We see what’s working in our life and what isn’t. We see who belongs in our bubble and who doesn’t.

And then we have the choice to change it.

I’ve been going through a few “waking up” moments myself and while there are moments of sadness in what needs to be changed, there’s many more moments of happiness because of the change.

“Waking up” moments bring us life lessons to be learned so that we can live our life to the fullest and for our Highest Good.

Change isn’t always easy but I can promise you that it will always be worth it.

Because “YOU” are worth it!

Know the value of who you are…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

it takes but one moment

“Who’s In Your Bubble?

/ Anne Dennish / 1 Comment

My friend, Peg, called me the other day to ask my opinion about a situation. She was feeling hurt over someone crossing her boundaries and in seeing the truth of them: that what she thought them to be wasn’t really who they were. She asked me how to get past that emotion of feeling hurt and betrayed.

I thought about it for a moment and came up with this analogy, one which I hope helps everyone.

Picture your life as a bubble and you’re in the center. Let’s say you’re only allowed 10 people in there with you. If you have 6 positive people and 4 negative in there then it’s full…there are no seats left for any other positive people to get in. Your bubble is full to capacity.

I can’t tell anyone enough that it is your decision of who you allow in your bubble, and you should always love yourself enough to want to surround yourself with positive people: people who are loyal to you, have your back, love and respect you, lift you up, support you, and more importantly, are honest with you. You want to keep your “vibe in the tribe” as positive as possible, because negativity breeds negativity and you don’t want an epidemic of that in your bubble!

So, when you realize there’s some negative people in that bubble and you want more positive people taking their place, do the math. You need to end your relationships with the negative people, wish them love and light, be grateful for the lessons they taught you, and move forward. And when you do that, hard as it may be, you’ve just opened a few more seats up in your bubble and have made room for the positive people to come in.

We all find ourselves in this situation now and again, yet it’s important to understand that these experiences happen to teach us a lesson about ourselves. Each of us has the control of who we allow in our bubble and each of us had a choice of keeping it positive or allowing the negative to take up residence.

Who do you have in your bubble? Is the vibe in your tribe a positive one? Are there more negative than positive people in there with you?

Only you know the answer to those questions and only you can choose what’s best for you.

Think about it.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Maybe It’s Not Your Door”

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Life is filled with doors: doors to close and to open; doors that are right for us and those that are no; and doors from the past and doors to the future.

So often I hear people complain that the things they wanted in life weren’t going as planned; the job wasn’t working out, the relationship didn’t progress or that every dream they’re trying to catch ends up in rejection or less of what they had hoped.

Maybe you’re opening the wrong doors. Maybe the door you want to OPEN isn’t your door. And maybe you haven’t closed the doors to your past and made peace with it so that the doors to your future can open.

Don’t worry if a door you want to open doesn’t. It just means it’s “not your door.”

And trust me, the right door, YOUR door, is waiting for you…

After all, as I always say, “when one door closes, let the French doors open!”

It’s a good thing… 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

wrong door

“Everything You Want Begins With You”

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begins with youI’ve been hearing a lot of grumblings going on out there lately. So many people seem disappointed with their life; they don’t have what they want and they don’t understand why. And here’s why:

“Because everything you want in your life begins with you.”

You have the control and the power to have what you want.

If you want peace in your life then you have to start find the peace within you.

If you want respect from others, you have to respect yourself first.

If you want to be loved you have to love yourself first and in the way that you want to be loved.

If you want to surround yourself with positive people, you have to let go of the negative ones.

If you want a loving and kind life partner, you have to be loving and kind to yourself first.

If you’re unhappy with your job then find a new one or change your attitude about it.

If you’re frustrated that you don’t have as much money as you want, be grateful for what money you do have and decide what you can do to have more.

If you want to learn to trust people you must first trust yourself and your intuition.

If you want to write a book, start typing.

If you want to take a vacation, start saving and planning.

If you want to fulfill your dreams, stop chasing them and begin to catch them.

And if you are unhappy with your life, change it. Turn the page. Move forward. Wish the negative situations and people in it “love and light” and let them go. Love yourself. Believe in yourself. Change your perspective. Keep a positive attitude. Be grateful. Count your blessings. Take a leap of faith and know that everything you want will happen as it should, how it should and when it should.

It all begins with YOU.

My life isn’t perfect, but it’s perfect for me.

And I would bet that yours is too.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Gratitude For All Of You”

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impactThis story is for all of you who follow my blogs and my posts, who comment on my writing and have supported me throughout my journey. Your words mean more to me than I can say but the one word to describe my feelings for all of you is this: “grateful.”

I’m grateful to have people I know and people I don’t know engage in my posts, leave comments of encouragement and support and who are willing to share their own life experiences and feelings with the world.

I’m grateful that you have given me the platform to try and change the world, try and make a difference in it, and to try to make another human being feel better.

I’m grateful that you take the time to read what I write. I’m grateful that you share your opinions of a particular story that meant something to you. I’m grateful that you’re part of my life journey…if only through my writing.

I’m grateful for all of you. It’s amazing to me that some of your comments come from those of you right in my own backyard and others that come to me from other countries.

I’m grateful for all of you, especially in the last few weeks. You’ve allowed me to truly see and believe more than ever that “it’s time to make a difference and we can make that difference together.”

And you’ve all made a difference in my life.

And sometimes it’s “the smallest of things that makes the biggest impact” on our life.

My heart is filled with gratitude for all of you…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Taking Back Your Power With Forgiveness”

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power 1

It’s been a tough week. I was upset and heartbroken over the slanderous comments made on my website. And I was angry. I was angry that someone caused me to feel such strong, negative emotions.

After a day or two of constantly thinking about the “who” behind it all I remembered the lessons I have learned along this journey of life: in order to release the anger and hurt I was feeling I had to forgive them.

And when I forgave them I took back my power and control because I took away their forgiveability to hurt me. Allowing someone to upset you is giving them the power and control to do it, and trust me, they know that. They know that they “got to you” and they revel in it. They actually enjoy it. And they’ll keep doing it to you until you stop letting it get to you.

Listen, it’s a hard thing to forgive someone who hurt you. All I wanted to do in the last few days was to call her and talk it over. Yet while that sounds like a sensible answer to the problem, I knew deep down inside that it would provide her with the confirmation she wanted in the first place: that she got to me and she got my attention. It would have been confirmation to me that I allowed her to.

And I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give her the power and control over my life and my emotions just because they don’t have control over their own.

It’s sad to know that there are people like that in the world, yet this is why I write what I do. I try to change someone’s perspective on how they see the world; I try to show them that kindness is key; and I try to share the lessons I’ve learned on how to be the best person you can be. I share the lessons I’ve learned on forgiveness, on the importance of loving yourself, and that anything and everything you want in this life is possible if you believe in yourself.

Good things come from good energy and emotions. Negativity breeds negativity, and positivity breeds positivity.

I’m not out to change anyone. I write my life experiences to show others that there is always hope and that we can change if we want to. I try to share with others that I learned that when you want something in your life to change that that change begins with YOU.

I’m not about rules or telling anyone what to do. I’m just a girl who wants to make a positive impact on another person’s life, because if I can do that, there will be a positive impact on the people that surround them.

I took this unpleasant and hurtful experience and turned it into a lesson of strength. I used it to write what needs to be written: the truth. I used this pain and turned it into one of peace in my forgiveness towards them.

Those comments fueled the fire within me to stand up for myself and to stand in my truth. I know those comments about me were untrue and I never should have let them hurt me, yet the pain brought more: it made me stronger and even more determined to make a positive impact in the world.

This girl is on fire and my mission is to keep writing about kindness, respect, forgiveness and strength. I’m on fire to write about taking back the control and power that I had so easily given to someone else, because the truth is, we should NEVER give that away. Yet it happens by a comment or a hurtful action by another.

I’ve learned that the next time that happens I will stand in my truth and not allow them to cause me any negative feelings. No one will ever take away my power again and I will be diligent in keeping my emotions and my life in MY control.

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult, yet most powerful tools we can use. Forgiveness will free YOU from the negative feelings that someone caused you. Forgiveness will give you peace in knowing that you let it go…and hopefully, you let THEM go as well.

Wish them love and light and pray for their own healing…and then drop it.

Move forward.

Never let anyone steal your power and control. Never let them know they caused you the pain that they had hoped they would.

Forgive them.

Forget them.

And remember, no one can hurt you unless you let them.

From this day forward, this girl is on fire and I won’t stop until I’ve made the difference in this world that I hope and want to make.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

 

“The One Word I Despise: Victim”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

I don’t get angry very often and I try not to get upset at someone who says hurtful things to me, but I will tell you this, there is but ONE WORD that will make my blood boil and fill me with an anger that makes my head spin: VICTIM! Aside from those emotions, it hurts my heart, because I’m not that.

And recently someone decided to publicly call me that. The comments were nasty, untrue, and bordering on “threatening.” And they called me a “victim.”

There’s not many people who have called me that, in fact, I know of only two and those two people live unhappy lives and take their negative feelings about themselves and turn them on me. And the moment those two people called me that I wished them love and light and sent them on their way. The friendship had served its’ time and was done, because if you think that’s what I am then you have no place in my life. I will not surround myself with anyone that believes that of me.

I am not a victim, I am a survivor and proud of that.

I am a survivor of divorce, domestic violence, emotional abuse and breast cancer. I never once saw myself as a victim of any of these things because, while I never wanted to have any of it happen, I accepted them as life lessons. Those things happened to me so that I could learn from them, survive them, and use my voice through my writing to help other’s going through those situations.

Me? A victim?

Not by a long shot.

But there are those that play the victim themselves. They are martyrs and portray themselves as good people, when in reality, they are quick to judge and despise anyone who has something they want. They are jealous and insecure, and in reality, they are the ones who choose to be a victim.

And trust me, I’m not one of them.

I don’t have a perfect life, but it’s perfect for me. I have a wonderful man in my life and have five beautiful children, all of whom I’m very proud of. I am able to pursue my passion of writing every day of my life. I’m surrounded by some amazing friends who always have my back and see me as a survivor. My “bubble” is filled with the people that support me and more importantly, love me.

And none of them believe me to be a victim because they know I’m not.

I write about my past experiences in a positive light, hoping to let others know that they’re not alone, that there’s always hope, and there’s always a way to get through it.

I know that there are people who will judge me, but if you’re going to do that, make sure that you know me. Don’t see me through eyes of hatred and jealousy, see me through the eyes of “truth.”

“Survivor” is one of my favorite words. It means you had enough faith in yourself and your Higher Power to get through the tough times. Life hasn’t always been easy for me, yet I choose to be grateful for every day I wake up, for every experience, good or bad, that life hands me because in the end everything is a lesson to learn so that we can live the best life possible.

And once again I’ll say this: “If you can’t be kind, be quiet.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“I Won’t Back Down”

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Here’s an excerpt from my new book, “My Collective Soul,” which will be released in October of 2017. ~Anne Dennish~

Photo by EVNFLO Photography

 

 

“No, I stand my ground, won’t be turned around,and I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down…gonna stand my ground and I won’t back down.” ~Tom Petty~

 

I’ve always loved that song, but while going through breast cancer, the lyrics rang more true than ever. Yet you don’t need to go through an illness or rough patch to understand that song: that no one should “back down” to anything or anyone.

Finding our strength isn’t the easiest thing to do, and truth be told, even when you find it, there will be moments that you’re too tired to stay that strong. You’re tired, your emotions are running rampant, or you just hit your wall to life. And all that is okay; we’re all human and there are just some days that people and situations get the best of us.

I have days like that, although as I learn my lessons in life, those days are far and few between. When I find myself faced with someone who’s draining my energy or trying to manipulate me, I hear those lyrics:

“Well, I know what’s right, I got just one life in a world that keeps on pushin’ me around but I’ll stand my ground and I won’t back down.”

Yes, there are times we feel like we “gave in” to someone, yet you need to remember, you didn’t give in, and you didn’t give up. You did what was necessary to remove yourself from it, even if you allowed someone else to think they got the best of you.

What you know to be true is your “truth.” And no one, and no situation, can take that away from you without your permission.

“Don’t back down” to anything or anyone…stand tall, proud and strong! Show the world how “big your brave is!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Life Is Like The Great Outdoors”

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outdoors 2

Life is about perspective and I have become the queen of analogies lately. Some call it a defense mechanism, I call it survival; it’s my way of taking the ugly and finding some beauty in it.

I’ll admit, the month of March was not so good for me; losing loved ones, feeling so drained that I got sick, not once, but twice, and any bad news that could filter it’s way into my life came in the month of March. It’s no wonder I’m celebrating April 1st today!

This morning I was speaking to my girlfriend who’s had a bit of a rough go lately. Sheoutdoors 1 was feeling down and not knowing what to do to get out of her head and this funk she was in. She told me that she felt like she had to get a hold of her life, get hold of a line of it. I tried to reassure her that this too will pass and then I said to her: “Go fishing. Go stand at the edge of the river and throw in your line. Look at that hook that’s out in the water and see it as your life. Gently reel it in, keeping a firm hold on it. And there you go, you’re reeling it your life that you felt got away from you.”

She laughed but also understood the analogy. Sometimes our life can feel like “the one that got away,” yet when we feel that we all we have to do it go fishing, be patient, and reel it in…and this one “won’t get away.”

I have my own analogy for letting go of toxic people in my life; I say that I’m going “gardening.” I look at the difficult process of letting some people go as one of “weeding out” the toxic people, or “weeds” as I like to think. So, I envision a beautiful garden which represents all those I love and that are in my life for my Highest Good. When I notice a weed in my garden, I know it’s time to pull it out. After all, it’s the weeds that choke out the flowers.

My favorite analogy is one I use often to help my friends out: it’s about the fear of taking 999383-002a leap of faith. I tell them to envision themselves on a cliff, looking out and over a beautiful ocean or endless mountain range. I tell them to see everything that is beautiful and good, and to pick a spot to land. That spot is what or where they want to be or have in life that fear is preventing them from having. Once they find the spot, I tell them to jump…jump off the cliff, knowing that you’re protected by a parachute or bungee cord of faith, and that the arms of love will be there to catch you. It’s an incredible leap of faith, but one that you can do if you change your perspective on it and lose that fear.

Sometimes on your worst of days you have to try to envision it as something else; change your perspective, make it a picture in your mind, or just head to “the great outdoors” for a little fishing and a bit of gardening. End it with strapping on your parachute of faith and take that jump…

It’s worth it; I promise.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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