“The Imperfect Christmas”

For years, when my children were younger, I tried to create the perfect Christmas.

Matching outfits. A formal Christmas portrait every year, one that would hang on our walls and become the family Christmas card. With five children, I had quite a few people to convince to cooperate with my vision.

Then one year, I let them wear whatever they wanted.

My oldest wore a bandana and went barefoot.

And you know what? I love that picture.

When I look at it now, I remember who my children were then. Their personalities, their likes and dislikes, their own little ideas about how they wanted to look. I’m glad I let those things have a place in our Christmas picture.

It took me a few years to appreciate that.

There was the Christmas when everyone had the stomach virus, and the year my little daughter spotted her dollhouse from the stairs, yelled “Christmas!” and promptly fell down the last few steps. There were pictures on Santa’s lap with someone crying when I’d been hoping for smiles and giggles.

I certainly wasn’t wishing for stomach viruses or tumbles, but all these years later, those moments are part of the Christmas stories I still tell. I can picture the excitement, hear the voices, and remember what it felt like to have all five children little and home.

I spent so much time trying to get everything just right. Now, I’m grateful for the pictures that caught things as they were, even the tears and occasional bare feet in our pictures.

My children are grown, and I can’t gather those younger versions of them around the tree again, but I have those photographs and those stories, and every December, they bring a little of that wonderful commotion back to me.

If you’re trying to get everyone dressed, smiling, and looking in the same direction this Christmas, take the picture anyway.

Someday, you will love every imperfect bit of it.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Your Imperfections Make You Beautiful”

I believe in positive affirmations; trying to always see the positive rather than focusing on the negative. I know the power of words and the wrong words, or negative words, can have a strong impact on you and the person you say them to.

Listen, no one is perfect, least of all me, but I would rather lift someone up with positive words than bring them down by telling them their faults. In fact, if you want to see someone change into the awesome person they truly are, speak kindly to them, tell them their strengths, share how you feel about them with them, and focus on the good things about them, not the negative.

Our imperfections make us beautiful. Our flaws make us flavorful. Our quirks make us memorable.

I’ve raised five children and if you think there haven’t been things they’ve done that bother me, well, you’re kidding yourself. I love them with all my heart and for who they are, yet I would rather tell them what I love about them and what their strengths are rather than tell them their faults, such as “you left the wet towel on the floor again, why don’t you put the cap on the toothpaste and…” and so on.

And as the children have grown as well as myself, I pick my battles. I try and lift everyone in my life up; I try never to pick at the small things because there are so many more big and wonderful things about them. Sometimes it’s those silly things that bother us that we’ll miss one day.

If you continually point out someone’s faults to them, I can promise you they’re going to shut down because what you’re telling them is that you don’t accept them for who they are; that all you see is their faults; that you say you love them but they won’t feel it because all you do is pick at what you don’t like about them rather than telling them what you do.

If you’re consistently looking for perfection from the people in your tribe then you’ll be disappointed. If you can’t see more good than bad in the people you surround yourself with then leave them.

Ask yourself this: how would you feel if the people you love were constantly picking at you and expressing the negative things about you? Would you begin to shut down? Would you stop caring? Would you feel as badly as they were making you feel?

It’s simple: treat the people in your life the way you want to be treated.

Pick your battles; accept the people you love for who they are, not who you want them to be; and lift them up with positive words because the negative words you speak to them will bring them down and will only hurt you as well in the end.

See the good and stop seeing the bad.

Pick your battles, my friends, please pick your battles.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~