Tonight is my last night in Delaware and I’m filled with so many mixed emotions. We trekked up to Jersey yesterday to empty our storage unit and came back today to load it with the rest of my things. Tomorrow we leave for the West Coast of Florida. It’s a very bittersweet time for me. Life is about to change and it’s a big one! I’ve lived at the Jersey Shore my entire life and spent this past summer in Delaware. Tomorrow I leave both places behind to begin a new life, a new adventure, in Florida.
I’m exhausted and will certainly keep you posted on my next adventure but for tonight, I’m spending a quiet night silently saying good-bye to all that I’m leaving behind and saying a silent prayer of gratitude for the amazing life I’ve had for all these years at the Jersey Shore and in Delaware.
Tomorrow another chapter begins and tonight this chapter closes.
Here’s to change and all the wondrous things that life has to offer.
I’ve been in Delaware for about a month now and have had way too much time to “think” about why I haven’t been writing as much as I used to, why I haven’t finished the final edits on my new book or why I feel so lost.
After much soul searching I got my answer: I lost my routine.
And in losing my “routine” I’ve lost my balance and a little bit of myself.
Back in Jersey I was working full-time and writing in my free time. I don’t miss working the daily grind BUT I do miss the routine. I’d get up everyday at 5:30, grab my coffee and do my hair and makeup as I peered out the window to see the sunrise. I was off to work by 8 and home after 4. It was a “routine.”
The other piece I’m missing is the daily interaction with my boss, co-workers, customers and vendors. I was always meeting someone new and interesting, yet I can remember coming home some days and not wanting to talk to anyone because I was “talked out” from work. Now I long for those days of communication.
It’s quiet here and unless we go out, there’s not much communication with the outside world. There are days that I wish my phone would ring with a friendly voice on the other end just ready for a nice, long conversation.
But it doesn’t and I feel as though I’m left with too much idle time and that’s not me.
This move wasn’t easy but I know that finding a routine here is in my best interest. I’m lost without one. I’m lost without accountability for a job. I’m lost being away from the friends and places that I loved.
Maybe I took too much of that for granted and can now see how important all of that was for me. I can definitely see it now and while there’s no sense in missing it all, there is a sense in being grateful that I had it in the first place.
Today is a new day and I have to push myself to find a new “routine.” I need to make myself accountable for a full time job as a writer. I need to stop feeling lost and find what works for me. And instead of missing my friends and places, I need to incorporate them into a new routine of seeing them when I can.
“Mindset and perspective” are what I’ve been lacking and thankfully this time of feeling lost helped to change mine and hopefully has me moving forward in the right direction.
I believe that “it’s the times we feel most lost in our lives that we’re actually finding ourselves.”
And I believe the last month of feeling lost has helped me to find myself again.
That’s the constant thought in my head every morning that I wake up. I guess you could say that this is my first attempt at following my own advice.
We’ve been in Delaware for three weeks now and they’ve not been the best. My significant other broke two ribs during the move which left the lifting and unpacking to me. Unfortunately, I ended up pulling out my back and suffering with a pinched nerve for 12 days. As you can see, it hasn’t been a smooth transition.
I’m trying to find all the positives in the midst of the pain and turmoil. We’re in a beautiful RV resort for the summer and it’s quite peaceful yet I’m homesick and missing my Jersey Shore a lot!
I feel a little lost here. It’s been an emotional couple of months as I helped my parents move out of our childhood home, moved myself, left my job and moved to another state. I guess I should give myself a pass for feeling the way that I do. It’s not been easy for me and I was so excited for this change! What I’m not happy about is that I haven’t written much since I’ve been here and that was something that I was looking forward to: “retired and writing!”
So here I sit, finally able to “start somewhere.” I’ve missed you all and I hope that this is the beginning of me getting back to ME!
Writing is like breathing to me and I’m so glad that I could share this “first breath” with all of you!
You mean the world to me.
Here’s to “starting somewhere.” I’m feeling grateful that I finally could!
Two weeks ago my brother, sister and I gathered at our childhood home to say good-bye to it. We’d been packing up my parents house for months and the time to bid farewell was upon us. This was the house we grew up in and as my sister and I sat one afternoon in the living room, it suddenly hit us that this was our tie to the Jersey Shore and even though my parents were snowbirds, the grandkids always had a place to stop in the summer for a grilled cheese, to do laundry or just spend time with their grandparents. The same rings true for my brother and sister. I’ve been lucky enough to have lived at the shore all of my life so when they weren’t in Florida, they were home and I was close by. Yet time marches on, life changes and my parents will now be living in Florida full-time. It’s a big change for all of us because the only way we’ll see them now is to visit them there.
It wasn’t easy going through all the things that my parents had saved, yet we certainly had a few laughs along the way. It was a time of remembering our youth and telling old stories.
The same day that I moved from the Jersey Shore to Delaware was the same day I said good-bye to my parents and to my childhood home. Life will never be the same without this old house but it’s time for the next chapter and a new adventure for all of us.
I love this picture below of the five of us. It’s the first time we’ve all been together in years and we certainly spent much of that time laughing! That’s how we said good-bye to our house on the boulevard.
I know that the world is a troubled place right now and so much has happened in the last few days, but I also believe that even in the midst of it all, it’s important to remember the good times and to be grateful. Memories are a good distraction, if only for a brief moment or two, to bring us back to simpler, even happier times in our life.
Hold onto the memories and embrace the next chapter with open arms.
“Overwhelmed and bittersweet” are two words that have been in my vocabulary these last few weeks and there’s a good reason as to why.
My parents are moving out of our childhood home and I’ve been spending much of my weekends and days after work packing them up and selling their furniture. It’s bittersweet finding so many memories of my childhood and selling off furniture that we all spent time around as a family. The packing can be overwhelming and it’s bittersweet in knowing that this house was our connection to the Jersey Shore.
I will be leaving my job at the end of this month and have decided to spend a few months in Delaware to promote my new book and write the sequel. In addition to that I will continue working with the publisher on the final edits for my new novel, “The Mind of a Heart ” which should be ready for release in the next few weeks. I’m also working on creating a weekly podcast and motivational/inspirational virtual group.
I’m okay with all these changes but they do mean that I will be moving away from my beloved Jersey Shore in May. I’ve lived here all of my life and can’t imagine being so far away from the beach and the local towns that I love but it’s time for change. These changes are overwhelming at times and most definitely bittersweet.
I have to remind myself to enjoy what time I have left at the Jersey Shore and focus on the excitement of the next chapter in my life.
And I am very excited about where this next adventure will take me.
I’m saying goodbye to feeling overwhelmed and hello to feeling grateful for the “bittersweet” because that means that it all meant the world to me.
It’s New Year’s Eve, the last day of 2019 and the last day of the decade. At midnight tonight a new year and a new decade will be upon us: 2020! How exciting, how wonderful that we’re blessed to be here for this night, how amazing it is that we have a chance to start over, to have a new beginning in our life, to change our lives.
I believe in taking the life lessons of the old year into the new year, but I also believe that New Year’s Eve is a mindset. It’s another day, another month, and a new year, yet why do we put so much importance on changing our life on that one day? It’s because it’s tradition. It’s what people all over the world celebrate and we do, too. After all, it IS a new year and a new decade and that does deserve a celebration of its’ own.
My point is that we don’t need to wait until that one day to make changes in our life. We have the choice to change our mindset from waiting for that one day to one of embracing all the days in between to taking the steps to have the life we want and deserve.
Celebrate New Year’s Eve and the beginning of a New Year and New Decade.
The New Year of 2020 is fast approaching and I have to wonder if you’ve been thinking of the life lessons you’ve learned this year. After all, I don’t believe in “resolutions” but in “revelations,” those lessons we’ve learned throughout the year that’s about to end. It’s those lessons that we need to take with us into 2020.
They’re the lessons of some eye-opening moments, of seeing the true colors of people and situations, of learning again and again that you are important. They’re the lessons of seeing when we weren’t loving ourselves enough or taking care of ourselves the way that we take care of others. They’re the lessons of learning what works in our life and what doesn’t.
And they’re the lessons that taught us what and who we need to let go of to live our best life.
What are your revelations from 2019?
Are you ready to take those valuable lessons with you into 2020?
Let’s start this year off with a positive outlook on all the possibilities that the New Year will have to offer and let’s all start moving forward into living our best life!
I woke up at 4 am this morning with a heart that was hurting and a mind racing with thoughts of a lesson that I’m forever learning: “when someone shows you who they really are, believe them.”
The actions of someone towards you shouldn’t be ignored. If they treat you as if you don’t matter to them, believe them. If they make another person a priority over you, believe that you are not a priority. If they tell you all the things that are wrong with you, believe that that’s the way they feel about you.
People’s actions let you know if their words are truth. They let you know where their loyalty lies. They let you know whether you’re a priority or not. They let you know that the people who don’t care about them are more important than the person who does care about them: YOU!
Sometimes we simply don’t want to see what is right in front of us. We make excuses for the person who hurt us, we believe that they won’t do it again, and we believe that they do care about us even though their behavior has shown us over and over again that they don’t.
We don’t want to see the truth because we know how much it’s going to hurt.
And then the day comes where you have no choice but to see the truth. It’s the day you have to remember to give yourself all of the things that they can’t or won’t: love, respect, compassion, understanding and loyalty.
Everything begins with you.
And that means that you have to stop making everything about them.
“Don’t be someone else’s slogan because you are poetry.”
The youngest of my five children graduated high school last week. It was a bittersweet day for both of us yet an exciting one. It was the end of a chapter and the beginning of the next one. Of course his chapter is much different than mine, yet it’s a new beginning for both of us.
This fifth child of mine never ceases to amaze me. At just 17 years old (almost 18) he knows who he is, he’s comfortable in his own skin, and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, yet the truth is, everyone loves him. He’s smart, he’s kind and compassionate, and he’s funny. His smile lights up the room and he can turn the saddest of my days into my best days.
And they love him because he’s his authentic self. I can’t begin to tell you how many teachers, faculty and parents of his friends tell me what a sweet kid he is: kind, respectful and funny. No mother could ask for anything more!
Yet I think back to when I was that age and wasn’t even close to being sure of myself. I didn’t know what I wanted in life other than the next step after high school: go to college. I cared about what I was wearing and what others thought of me. Comfortable in my own skin? I didn’t even know what my “own skin” was.
Yes, I’m a proud mother here and one that is in awe of this fifth child of mine, yet I’ll be honest, all five of them are the same way. They are who they are and they’re amazing human beings. I’d like to think I had a hand in that while I was raising them because I allowed them to be their authentic self, without judgment or criticism. And it worked.
We all want to be accepted and loved and I believe that happens when we are our “authentic self,” not someone other people expect us to be. As I told my children, if people don’t like you or respect you for who you are, then they’re not your “people.”
And it’s true.
It’s a lesson I learn more and more as life goes on.
Congratulations to my fifth child, Sam, as he begins the next chapter of his life. I hope it’s a grand adventure. He certainly deserves it!
And here’s to all of us being our authentic self and beginning another chapter in our lives. Enjoy the journey and embrace the adventure.