“These Three Things”

It was during this last month of quarantine that I learned that three important components are absolutely necessary to survive being “SAFE at home.” They are patience, tolerance and forgiveness, and most often, in that order. 

You need to have patience with the people you live with, the people you deal with and with yourself. Every one of us will have a day of feeling stressed and anxious, and every one of us will take that out on someone else who had nothing to do with it. Therein lies the patience. Be patient in knowing that all of us are experiencing this in different ways and act out in different ways. Be patient with others and be patient with yourself while you’re trying to be patient with them!

You need to try to have some amount of tolerance of the behavior of others in order to have the patience you need to tolerate their moments of lashing out. That’s not to say that you have to be a doormat and the recipient of someone else’s anxiety or stress. It just means that on those occasions (and I hope they are few!) that someone takes out their mood on you, be tolerant and be patient with them.

And most importantly, you need to practice forgiveness. You need to forgive the people that you had to be patient and tolerant with, and you need to forgive yourself for the days that you couldn’t be.

These are difficult times we’re living in and I truly believe that patience, tolerance and forgiveness are a must. Under normal circumstances we may not have to practice tolerance of “not so good” behavior as much, but right now we do, as long as it’s not on a daily basis and not bordering on abusive. 

I know that we’re all trying to get through this as best we can and some days are just too much to handle, but we need to remember to not only be patient, tolerant and forgiving of others, but of ourselves as well. 

If you can practice these three things, toss in a large dose of kindness for others and yourself as well, you will find “safety AND serenity” at home. 

Hang in there…you’re doing just fine!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Say What You Mean”

“Say what you mean and mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it.”

It’s a simple concept yet a very important one.

It’s okay to voice an opinion or share how you’re feeling with someone. It’s your truth, but never, ever be mean to someone when you say it to them. It’s hurtful and it’s unkind.

There’s no reason to be mean to anyone.

Be kind. Be compassionate. Be respectful.

Speak your truth but don’t be mean when you speak it.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Choose “Love!”

Sometimes I have a day where I look out into the world and am saddened by what I see and hear. I know there’s so much good out there in this big world of ours, yet there are days that it seems to be overshadowed by the negative stuff. Today, as I count my blessings and am grateful for them all, I’m feeling a hurt in my heart at some of the things I’m seeing and of how it’s all making me feel.

I’m saddened by fathers or mothers that don’t pay their child support to help these babies that they brought into this world. Our children deserve the best that we can give them.

I’m saddened by a world divided by politics.

I’m saddened by children who don’t talk to their parents, who forget that their parents did the best that they could do for them, yet choose to focus only on what didn’t work out their way.

I’m saddened by people that abuse the ones they say that they love, whether it’s their children, friends, parents or significant others. Abuse of any kind breaks a heart and has a profound effect on the life of the one abused.

I’m saddened by a world that has forgotten the simplest of things: kindness, compassion, love and understanding.

I’m saddened by a world that is selfish and has forgotten the beauty of helping someone in need.

So many sad things surround us and I’ll admit that today is a day I’m feeling the effects of all those negative things, yet…

Love is simple.

Love is just love. It’s unconditional, non-judgemental and forgiving.

Love can change the life of another.

Love can change your perspective.

Love, my friends, can change the world.

Choose love.

And hopefully, one day, if we all choose love there will be no more sadness in the world.

And wouldn’t that be wonderful?

Think about it.

It’s a good thing. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Do It A Lot More!”

The New Year of 2020 has begun and there’s a whole year ahead of us. Let’s live this year and every day in it with “a little more” of all good things.

Let’s be more loving, kind, compassionate, empathetic and respect.

Let’s take all those good things and do them a little more.

In fact, let’s do them “a lot more!”

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“How They Treat You Is How They Feel About You”

I woke up at 4 am this morning with a heart that was hurting and a mind racing with thoughts of a lesson that I’m forever learning: “when someone shows you who they really are, believe them.”

The actions of someone towards you shouldn’t be ignored. If they treat you as if you don’t matter to them, believe them. If they make another person a priority over you, believe that you are not a priority. If they tell you all the things that are wrong with you, believe that that’s the way they feel about you. 

People’s actions let you know if their words are truth. They let you know where their loyalty lies. They let you know whether you’re a priority or not. They let you know that the people who don’t care about them are more important than the person who does care about them: YOU!

Sometimes we simply don’t want to see what is right in front of us. We make excuses for slogan_1 (1)the person who hurt us, we believe that they won’t do it again, and we believe that they do care about us even though their behavior has shown us over and over again that they don’t.

We don’t want to see the truth because we know how much it’s going to hurt.

And then the day comes where you have no choice but to see the truth. It’s the day you have to remember to give yourself all of the things that they can’t or won’t: love, respect, compassion, understanding and loyalty.

Everything begins with you.

And that means that you have to stop making everything about them.

“Don’t be someone else’s slogan because you are poetry.”

Don’t allow yourself to be treated like a slogan.

You deserve to be treated like poetry.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Feel, Deal and Heal”

I’ve gone through my share of, what most may say, are traumatic experiences: divorce, cancer, and abuse, to name a few. When I share these experiences publicly many people ask me how I’m still standing, how in the world did I become so positive after so many negative things happened to me.

My answer is always the same: Because I chose to get through and I’m standing even stronger.

And how is that possible?

Because I knew I had to feel all the emotions that came with those “traumas” and deal with them; and that’s how I was able to heal.

No one wants to feel hurt, sadness or brokenness, yet we all do at some point in our life. Many people block those emotions; they tuck them away and believe that they moved on from them. I can tell you that they didn’t. Ignoring what you have to face is lying to yourself and eventually all those emotions you didn’t deal with will catch up with you at some point in your life. They always do.

And when they do catch up with you those around you pay the price for it as well.

Don’t you want to feel happy? Don’t you want to find joy in your life? Don’t you want to let go of an experience that caused you pain?

Sure you do…we all do.

So do it. Take a long look in the mirror at yourself and let your truth come through. Take that experience and all the pain that came with it and deal with it. Feel the pain, the heartache and let the healing waters of your tears flow to release it all. Then forgive the experience so you no longer hold onto it and then forgive yourself for allowing it to hold you back from the happiness you want and deserve.

You can run from those traumatic experiences but trust me, you can’t hide from them until you deal with them.

Feel, deal and heal, my friends.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~

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“If You Want…”

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If you want love you have to love.

If you want honesty you have to be truthful.

If you want loyalty you have to be loyal.

If you want happiness you have to be happy.

If you want compassion you have to be compassionate.

And if you want kindness you have to be kind.

We all want the people in our life to be these things but in order to have that YOU have to be those things because it all begins with YOU!

“Don’t expect from others what they can’t expect from you.”

Remember that.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Be Your Authentic Self”

The only way you’re really going to know who should and shouldn’t be in your life is by standing in your truth.

Be who you really are, not the person that you think someone wants you to be.

Know that you don’t have to agree with the opinions of others just because you want to fit in.

Understand that you are not everyone’s “cup of tea,” and some people aren’t yours either.

And never assume that someone knows what you’re thinking or feeling.

And that’s what “standing in your truth” is all about.

It’s being your complete, authentic self to the people you meet, because when you hide who you truly are then you run the risk of attracting the wrong people into your life. They may like you for who you pretend to be, but is that what you want? I don’t. For me, what you see and what you hear is what you get. I don’t change to fit the person…I change the people I surround myself with to fit me.

That’s how we surround ourselves with “like-minded” people: people who are positive, who have our back, who lift us up instead of bringing us down. People who understand our differences and accept us for who we are anyway. People who acknowledge your successes and keep you motivated through your failures. People who love you for who you are, not for who they want you to be.

You have to be who you are in order to have the right people in your life…in your bubble.

Don’t silence your voice to make someone else happy, or to prevent a disagreement, or to keep things calm.

The right people will embrace your voice and your truth.

The right people will love you for who you are.

The right people won’t try to change you.

And the right people will never try to silence your voice…

Because your voice is your truth.

Be you, my friends, be you.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Free To Be Me”

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I’ve learned many lessons throughout my journey in life, and one of the most important things I’ve learned is this: when I surround myself with the right people I can be “me.”

I can be my true self. I don’t need to hide who I am; I don’t have to act a certain way to be around someone; and I don’t need to be someone I’m not.

I don’t have to worry about them trying to change me because they accept me for who I am; I don’t have to worry about them stabbing me in the back because I trust them; and I don’t have to worry about not speaking my truth because they prefer my honesty over a lie.

I’ve spent years of my life being who everyone expected me to be and hiding who I truly was deep down inside. I was ashamed to be called a “dreamer.” I lived my life believing that “this was as good as it gets” and never thought I would have any better.

I’ve been criticized for being “too sensitive” and “emotional,” yet I’m an empath and that’s what makes me sensitive to the feelings of others and makes me feel emotions, both good and bad, deeper than most. It’s what allows me the freedom to write topics to help someone else. It’s what makes me love someone with all that I am.

Yet many years ago, after divorce and having had so many wonderful spiritual teachers, I changed…just like that.

I decided to live a life in which I was “free to be me,” and if you didn’t like that, you didn’t need to be inside my world or part of it.

I am proud to be called a “dreamer,” especially since I’ve met many dreamers along the way who have caught their dreams.

I no longer try to be perfect or fit the mold of how anyone wants me to be.

I am who I am.

There are those who like me for that, and those that don’t…and that’s okay.

I’m not perfect, but I’m perfect for me.

I have flaws but if you love me you’ll see them as flavorful.

The point is this: if you truly love someone you don’t try to change them. You allow them the freedom to be who they are, because truth be told, that’s the person you fell in love with in the first place.

I would never try and change anyone I love, but I will tell you that I’ve seen them change because of that unconditional love that I gave them.

And if they’ve given me unconditional love they’ll see that I changed as well, not because they wanted me to but because I wanted to.

When we give the people in our life unconditional love, respect, kindness and compassion, we allow them the freedom to be who they are without worry of our judgement or criticism. We allow them the peace in knowing that they are loved for “who” they are, not for “who” we want them to be me.

If you’re going to love someone, whether it’s a significant other, friends, children or family, please remember to love them for who they are and let them have their freedom to be who they are. Your love is what allows them to be all that they can and that is when you see the magic and miracle of true, unconditional love.

“Free to be me…”

It’s an incredibly good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“What Happened To Humanity?”

When did we stop thinking about the needs of other’s and only thinking of our own? When did we stop helping each other unless we had something to gain from it? When did we stop caring about each other? When did we start putting our own needs above someone who needs our help? When did we start being selfish instead of selfless?

It started when we stopped needing one another and only wanting one another when it was convenient, when it served us, when we had something to gain from it.

And that is the saddest thing in the world.

I can remember a time in my life when I had nothing and five children to take care of. It was the kindness of my closest friends that helped me out during that time and expected nothing in return. And when I had barely anything I still helped a family who needed my help. I sent food to their home during a difficult time and when those around me asked me: Why would you do that when you are in a bad way yourself? My answer was simple: because they were human beings who also needed the kindess of someone to help them, just like my friends had helped me. You see, that’s where the world has changed: we only give when it suits us; we only help when it makes us look good; we only need someone when we want something from us. The world stopped caring when they realized people took advantage of their kindness.

And again, that is the saddest thing in the world.

The world is in turmoil at the moment; there are hurricanes destroying lives, families and homes, and yet most people aren’t able to see the big picture: that the world needs us to stick together and help one another, and not because we “need” to but because we “want” to help another life feel better, get better and move on better.

If I do nothing else in this world except use my writing to help people understand and to try and make a difference in the world, then that is my success. My success comes from loving a stranger in need or a friend that needs my help, sharing what I have with them, helping them through a difficult time, listening to them and being there for them. My greatest success is when someone tells me that I made a difference in their life.

I sit here today with such a sadness and worry in my heart over friends on the islands that were impacted by Hurricane Irma, by someone I love that is in the hospital with no update on how they are from someone I know who is there and for a friend displaced by the hurricane that no one would help, so they helped themselves. For the love of God, what happened to kindness and respect? What happened to doing the right thing? What happened to thinking of other people and what they’re going through instead of focusing on only what we’re going through?

It’s time…it is absolutely time for everyone to get out of their own way and leave their selfish egos to the wayside. It’s time to see the big picture of what some are about to lose during these storms, to see what those did lose, to see what is happening to those around us. Does someone need a shoulder to lean on? Does someone need a listening ear? Does someone need a small, random act of kindness?

I know that I will do anything I can for anyone that needs me, whether it’s something big or something small. My mission in life is to make a difference in someone’s life and hopefully those random acts of kindness may actually make a difference in the world.

I know what I’m doing…what are YOU doing to make a positive difference in someone’s life, to help someone in need or to simply do what you can to make this world a better place?

There’s no better feeling in the world than to know you did something for someone else without expecting something in return.

The gift of helping someone else is how good you’ll feel when you do…and because you “wanted” to do it, not because you “needed” to do it for yourself.

Wishing you love, light, and peace,

~Anne Dennish~