If you’ve been following my latest blogs then you’ll understand this story. Last weekend someone made a comment on one of my blogs. It was hurtful and untrue. As I looked at the IP address I realized that it belonged to the same person that did the same thing to me in August, commenting on me personally rather than on my writing.
My heart sank on Saturday morning when I saw a degrading comment about “me.” I traced the IP address to the vicinity of where it came from and realized that it was from the same one back in August, and sadly, it’s someone I know.
I appreciate and welcome any comments about my writing…I appreciate comments to tell me how I can be a better writer. I don’t take offense at construction criticism about my writing, but I do take offense to being publicly slandered about “who” someone says I am. And I’m hurt to know it’s someone I know and that “someone” knows I’m not anything that they said I was. My character was defamed, my reputation slandered. And I was hurt because I couldn’t understand, let alone wrap my head around why this person would do that to me.
Yet something made them do it and it hurt. They hid behind false names and false email addresses, yet an IP address doesn’t lie. I knew who it was.
Some may say I took the comment too personally, yet I felt slightly threatened and definitely slandered. Since the comment was made public on my website, I’ll share it with you:
Patty Kastner commented on “Stay Out Of My Bubble”
Did it ever occur to you that you reflect all that you are, that perhaps you create all these situations because of your own self loathing?
You seem to gave a central theme in all your blogs that portray you as a victim, not as an enlightened, loving spiritual being. Good luck on your “project” …looks like you have a lot of self work to do.
I deleted the other comments the moment I read them in August, but the theme and the tone were the same. It was a direct attack on me as a person, not me as a writer. It was the voice of someone who hated me and the life I’m living with my love, Rob. It was someone that is so angry with me that they wanted to publicly slander me.
And the truth is, I’m not any of those things. I’m not self-loathing and I definitely do not play a victim. I try and take all my experiences I’ve gone through, the good and the bad, and share them with others in the hope that I can help them through when there was no one to help me. I want to inspire and motivate people; I want to spread kindness and hope; I want to make a difference in the world and in another human beings life; I want to try and make the world a better place.
When I saw that comment on Saturday morning it felt as though someone punched me in the stomach. When I realized it was from the same person from months ago, my heart sank…because it was then I realized who it was.
I spoke to the police and knew what I could do, but then I thought about the rest of that family. They shouldn’t pay for that person’s feelings towards me. I was angry and I was hurt. Even as I write this I would love to sit down with this person and ask them why they did that to me. Why did they hate me so much?
And then I realized the answer: some people are so unhappy in their own lives that they take it out on others; they want what someone else has and if they can’t have it, they’ll try and ruin it; they’re jealous, they’re insecure and they’re lost souls with no direction. They don’t understand that they can have all those things on their own but they can’t or won’t because they don’t love themselves, don’t respect themselves, and would rather play the martyr than to do the work on themselves to have the best life they can have.
I’m not angry anymore because I forgave them. I had to. Holding onto the anger keeps it alive and gives that person and what they did control and power over me, and I won’t have it. So I decided to forgive them, and let go of the anger. I didn’t call them or let them know I forgive them, I forgave them for ME! And once I did that I realized that there was no more anger, and by forgiving them I took back my power and my control.
Today I forgave them but I’ll never forget the three comments they wrote about me. I’ll forgive them but I’ll never forget what they said. Never.
And now you know why I am on a mission of spreading the word to all of you to be kind to one another.
The world will never get better with hate and jealousy, but there’s a good chance it will change with kindness.
One step at a time…
One random act of kindness at a time…
One person being kind to another…
Wishing you love and light,