Take a listen! I’m back!
Life is changing, I can feel it to my toes and it’s happening quickly. There are days that I have to remind myself to breathe, that it’s all happening just as it should.
And experience has taught me throughout the years that it always is happening as it should.
I’m so excited about my new book and am praying that it brings the changes in my life that I want, perhaps even need.
So each day I wake up I’m grateful.
Each day that I wake up I try to do better.
Each day that I wake up I try to do what it takes to turn my dreams into my reality.
And each day that I wake up I remind myself to keep moving forward and never give up on my dreams.
Life is always changing.
Dreams can be turned into reality.
And each day is a chance to do it better than the day before.
Keep moving forward, no matter how difficult the path may be that day.
Everything is happening just as it should.
You have to believe.
And you have to have faith.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
It’s only Monday and I’m feeling incredibly happy and peaceful. There’s something wonderful about a “staycation.” I believe that the Universe is trying to tell me something and showing me a different side to my life, one that I haven’t lived in over a year and a half.
And I’m remembering it.
I remember how wonderful it felt to be home, to be writing at all hours of the day and night, to chat on the phone, to cook and clean. I remember how wonderful it felt to be home and not tired, to be home with time to talk to my friends and get together for lunch, to be home with my family.
I’m using this time to think about my life. I guess you could say I’m writing a list of my New Year’s Revelations…all that I’ve learned throughout 2021 and all that I don’t want to repeat in 2022.
And I’m grateful that I have this time to think about it all.
I’m sure there will be changes, some difficult and some easy, but I’m making decisions that are for my highest good. Decisions that will enhance my life and make it a life that I want.
Onward to changes. Onward to writing a list of New Year’s Revelations. Onward to doing what it takes to live your best life.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
It seems to me that the year of 2019 has been a rough one for so many. I’ve heard more people talk about all the negative things that have happened to them. Most people are grateful that the year is almost over. In a way, I am too, but for different reasons.
I’m excited for the New Year that is fast approaching. It’s a new beginning, a new month and a new year.
And I agree, 2019 has been a difficult year filled with more ups and downs than I would 
have liked, yet I believe that it’s been a “stepping stone” to get us all to 2020.
All those ups and downs we’ve experienced have been teaching us valuable life lessons, opened our eyes to see the truth around us, and given us reason to think about what we really want and don’t want in our life.
We’ve managed to survive so far through this crazy year of 2019 that’s almost over, so let’s give it a proper send off, shall we?
“Thank you, 2019, for being a stepping stone for 2020, a year that will put the past behind me and allow me to step into an amazing present, one filled with endless possibilities for my future. Thank you, 2019, for all that you taught me. I’m forever grateful because the lessons you taught me are going to help me to live my best life and live the life that I deserve.”
And it’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I was a journalist for years at our local racetrack, Wall Stadium Speedway. I had my own column called “The Need For Speed,” in which I interviewed the drivers. It was an exciting time to be “behind the scenes” of the track that I grew up listening to and going to every Saturday night!
This picture came up on my memories and I wanted to share it with you. I was asked to drive a car in the women’s race called “The Powder Puff!” Of course I said yes, and once I had the driving experience I understood the passion behind the drivers I interviewed even more.
I was scheduled to start chemo a week after this picture was taken and on that night I remember telling my friends that I believed that racing scared me more!
Yet I did it and the fear turned to excitement, and after that race I felt as though I could get through anything…and I got through cancer.
Sometimes life hands us an adventure or opportunity that we never thought we’d have, and it’s those moments that can change our outlook on things forever.
I took that racing experience with me right through chemo and knew that in time I’d cross that finish line as a survivor.
And I did.
And it was a very good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
*On a personal note: I’m not an expert on this subject, but I’ve been in this situation before and know the signs of it happening, which is why I’m writing about it now. Every so often I see someone I care about being controlled by the wrong person and I watch as they become submissive to them. I can only share my personal experience with them to try and help them see the unhealthy situation they’ve allowed themselves to be in, yet as always, it’s a life lesson for them. I can’t fix them, save them, or change their situation…only they can do that. It’s a lesson they need to learn, just as I had many years ago, and all I can do is offer my support and share my experience with them. ~Anne Dennish~
“Submission” is a state in which people can no longer do what they want to do because they have been brought under the control of someone else.
Has this happened to you? Have you lost control of your life because someone else is controlling you?
And why did you allow it to happen?
Maybe you have an underlying need for the controller to love and accept you; maybe you want their attention and time; maybe you idolize them and want to feel as important to them as they are to you.
But it will never happen. They will never give you what you want as long as you’re giving them what they want.
Most times we never see it coming. We wake up one morning and realize that our life is not our own; we find ourselves doing things we don’t’ want to do; we see that our relationships are suffering; we’ve allowed someone to control us without realizing they were doing that; we say “no” to them but we’re beaten into “submission” until we say “yes.”
And that cycle continues until the controller get’s what they want.
And they will always get what they want until you stop allowing them to; until you say “no” and mean it; until you set up boundaries with them which you don’t allow to be crossed.
And until you open your eyes and realize that someone you trusted has been controlling 
you.
Why does someone to this?
It’s simple: people who can’t control their own lives will control someone else’s. It’s not because they love you or care for you; it’s not because you think they’re you’re friend; it’s because it builds up their own insecurities and low self-esteem to know that they have the power and control over someone else.
And before long, the people who truly do love and care for you will see what you can’t: that you’re being submissive to a certain someone; that you’re submission affects your relationships with the right people; that you allow someone to control you when the right people wouldn’t do that to you.
There will come a point where the right people will bring it to your attention. They love you and want you to see what they see: that you’ve put all your time and attention into the wrong person rather than the right ones, which are them. They are the ones who will ask you why you allow it; why the controlling person means more to you than the ones who don’t control you; why you allow the controlling person to affect you and your healthy relationships with your significant other, family and true friends. The “right people” will begin to feel unimportant to you because they see what lengths you’re willing to go to for the controller instead of them.
It happens to all of us at one point or more in our lives; it certainly has happened to me, which is why I’m able to see it happening to the people I surround myself with, and it breaks my heart to see the ones I love being controlled by someone and they can’t. I can clearly see the signs of submission and know the exact type of person who will control someone else. It’s never an easy thing to break free from someone like that, but it can be done; you need to accept what they’re doing and begin to do what needs to be done to take back your power.
The first step is realizing it’s happening to you, and if you don’t, accept someone who loves you telling you what they see. Believe the people who love and respect you, the ones who don’t control you, because they have your best interest at heart.
Secondly, break the cycle and that begins with the next time you tell them “no.” Say “no” once, not several times, with no explanation. Don’t let them badger you into submission until you say “yes” and do what they want. Shut them down and stay strong because until they understand that you’re no longer allowing yourself to be controlled by them, they’ll keep trying until they’ve beaten you back into submission again and again and again.
And lastly, walk away from them; let them go; avoid contact with them if you can and always remember what they had done to you. It’s a lesson to learn but one that you’ll have more insight into if it should ever happen to you again.
I wish I could tell you how and why someone feels they have the right to control another human being, or why we become submissive to another. It’s different for all of us, but once you can honestly see what you allowed to happen to you, you’ll become to understand “why.”
Was the controller someone you looked up to or idolized? Was it someone you were in love with and didn’t want to disappoint? Were they more important to you than the people who truly love you? Maybe you have an underlying need for the controller to love and accept you; maybe you want their attention and time; maybe you want to feel as important to them as they are to you. Or maybe you want them to accept you, yet you need to understand that YOU have lost control on giving them more time, attention and power than they deserve.
But what you want from them will never happen. They will never give you what you want as long as you’re giving them what they want. And sadly, that’s the truth, because while you’re becoming submissive to the controller, you’re losing sight of the people in your life who love and respect you, two things the controller will never give you. The moment you allow someone to control you is the moment their respect for you and your own self-respect, fly out the window. Respect no longer exists with control.
The controller plays on our weakness, and because of their own insecurities, low self-esteem and lack of control in their own life, they find their strength in controlling you. They don’t really care about you; they care about their control over you. They don’t want you to be in a healthy relationship because they’re not in one of their own. They don’t care if their control affects your relationships or your life; they only care about what they gain from it, because once they see you with the right people and loving your life, they will control you even more to make sure you hurt the people you shouldn’t.
Please be aware of your surroundings and the people you allow into them. Control isn’t love and love isn’t control. And if you’re wondering how you know if you’re being submissive to a controlling person, ask yourself this one important question: “Why can’t I say no to them, and when I do say it, why do I let them beat me into submission until I say “yes” and do what they want?”
Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t respect you enough to allow you to be yourself; stop giving in to someone who doesn’t give you anything back in return; stop defending the controller and making excuses for their behavior because when push comes to shove, they’ll have their own back before they have yours.
Take a look at the place in your life that this “controlling person” has and then take a look at the people in your life that don’t control you. How much of your life do you waste on trying to please them rather than them pleasing you? How much of your precious time is given to them rather than given to the people who love you?
And one more thing: how does your being submissive to this person hurt the people that love you? How often has their control of your time prevented you from spending time with the people you love? And honestly, they don’t care what their control does to you at all, just what their control over you does for them.
Does that make your choice to take back your control from someone else easier now?
Don’t hurt the ones you love and more importantly, don’t hurt yourself because of someone who wants you to and who doesn’t care if you do.
“No” is a full sentence.
Say it.
Mean it.
Be done with it…and them.
And never allow yourself to ever be “beaten into submission” again.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I realized something yesterday morning: that for the past few weeks all I’ve been saying is negative things, which is unlikely for me. Yet, I’m as human as anyone else and sometimes we forget to pay close attention to our thoughts and words.
Yesterday I sat in front of my laptop wondering what to write. I found myself saying “I hate having writers block; why does my foot still hurt; why is everything taking so long to happen?”
Then I realized that I was putting all that negative stuff out there all on my own. At that moment I changed my thinking and choice of words and turned it into: “I’m writing everyday; my foot is healing day by day; and things are happening just as they should”
You see, sometimes we lose sight of our thoughts and words. We forget to keep them all positive, yet when you notice what it is your saying and thinking you can change it. You can change it to positive thoughts and words.
I remind myself today that “everything happens as it should, when it should and how it should.”
And I remind myself that I do the best I can everyday.
More importantly, I remind myself that negative thoughts and words are to replaced with “I can, I will, I am.”
Go easy on yourself and remember that you are in control of your thoughts, your words and your actions.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I was talking to a friend the other day about her life and all the changes she wants to make, when suddenly I found myself saying to her: life is like a water bottle, if it’s filled to the top with all the negative people and situations in your life then there’s no room to fill it with the water of the positive.
She loved the analogy and I thought about it further. It’s always a good thing to be able to visualize things in a way that you can see it and understand, and my “water bottle” analogy is just that.
Imagine that we’re given one water bottle in our life, and that bottle represents our life. It’s filled with water, which is all the people and situations in our life. At the time those things may be purposeful in our life and best for our Highest Good, yet as time and life marches on, it changes. Suddenly you’re left wanting more, wanting something different or wanting to let go of certain people and situations.
But you can’t seem to do it, and that is the human nature of being afraid of change or of the unknown. We know what we need to leave behind yet we wonder what will happen if we let go. Will our life be worse or will it be better? Should we leave someone not knowing if someone better is waiting for us?
It’s a leap of faith in your Higher Power and in yourself.
I explained to her that at this time in her life her water bottle is filled with negativity, both with her job and personal life. I told her that unless she started emptying that water bottle of the negative she wouldn’t be able to fill it with anything new or more positive. She couldn’t replace the negative water until she poured it out and replaced it with the positive.
After all, you can’t put more water into a full bottle until you dump some water out.
And that is my analogy on letting go and moving forward.
Sometimes you have to visualize your life in a way that you can actually picture it, and the water bottle is simply one way to look at it.
Is your water bottle filled with all that is for your Highest Good or do you need to dump some of the water out so that the “good” water can be poured in?
It’s the same no matter how you look at it. When you keep the wrong people in your life or are in a situation that is not good for you then there’s no room for what’s in your best interest to come in.
I’ve been taught by my spiritual teachers throughout the years that you have to let go of that which no longer serves your Highest Good in order for something better to come in. Holding on to negativity in any way, shape or form will prevent anything better and more positive to come in.
Dump out your water bottle if your life isn’t the way you want it and fill it with all the good that the Universe has just waiting for you.
After all, I believe that once we rid ourselves of negativity, whether it’s people or situations, the world opens up with more positivity than we can imagine.
I know this for sure…
And it’s a good thing…
I promise.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
~This is an excerpt from my new book, “My Collective Soul,” which will be released in Octover of 2017~
We live in a time of blaming others for our shortcomings. It’s easier to blame someone else than to take our accountability for our actions. I see it all the time. People living less of the life they want and pointing the finger at everyone else. They blame others; they say it’s someone else’s fault; they don’t know how to stand in their own truth.
And they do that because it’s easier to blame someone else than to look in the mirror and claim our part in what makes us unhappy.
No one wants to look in the mirror. It’s the mirror of our face, our shortcomings, our faults, our weaknesses, yet what most people don’t understand is that it’s also the mirror of our strength, of our successes, of our truth.
Most people fear the mirror because they don’t always like what they see, yet what you see is what you can change, if you choose to. What we see is our soul and our heart and if you can’t come to terms to accept what you see, then you, my friends, have the right to change it.
You were gifted the ability to change in yourself and your life what you don’t like. If you look in the mirror and see a weakness then go out and strengthen it. If you look in the mirror and see your faults then change it and see your strengths. If you look in the mirror and see and ugly person then change it to make yourself beautiful, and I don’t mean in looks.
Our hearts dictate our beauty. Our hearts allow the outside world to see who we are. Our hearts are the keepers of our secrets, and they also hold the keeper of our truth.
Let it out.
Look in the mirror and yourself and see your beauty. See your strengths, see your accomplishments, see all that you endured, see your illness, see your broken marriage or relationship, see the pain and the hurt.
See it all…
And then look again.
Look at YOU.
Stare at yourself for as long as you need to.
And within a few minutes your face will look different; your demeanor will change; your soul and heart will start to break through the negative sight of what you see and show you the light.
Let it.
Let go.
And know that all that stuff that happened to you is simply that: stuff. Let it go. And accept that anything that happenened to you was meant to. It was a lesson from your Higher Power to stop and take a look at your life; to take a look at yourself.
We all have a hand in our life. We love to blame everyone else, yet it takes two people to argue; two to fight; two to find love and two to end it. It takes two people to have an affair and two people to join together in marriage.
Stop blaming and take a step back.
Look in that mirror, point the finger at yourself and say: “It’s your own fault.”
And then forgive yourself for not being perfect, because you’re not supposed to be. You’re supposed to be human. You’re supposed to make mistakes, and you’re supposed to learn from them.
You’re supposed to feel pain so that you can feel happiness.
You’re supposed to give freedom for your heart to break so that you can learn how to heal it.
You’re supposed to fail at some things so that you can succeed at what you were meant to.
You’re supposed to cry so that you can smile.
You’re supposed to end a relationship so that you can begin another one.
You’re supposed to be human.
You see, you are amazing. You are an incredible individual and no one else is like you. We all have faults and that’s okay because the right friend or partner will love you for them. We all fall and we all can get up and we can get up stronger.
We all can make a choice; we all can take a chance; we all can fall deep down to the bottom.
And you can choose to get up.
So pick yourself up and get it right. Straighten up and straighten up. You can do it because I have. I’ve fallen so deep throughout my life that I couldn’t see the sun. I’ve been so weak that I lost sight of what strength felt like. I felt so alone that I forgot what love was.
And then I looked in the mirror.
I looked long and hard, and at first I didn’t like what I saw.
But I kept looking.
And within a few minutes I saw a girl who was simply broken from all that life had handed her. I looked her hard straight in her eyes and saw something that she didn’t: her will.
I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be better, I wanted a different life.
I kept looking at this girl who had become a stranger to me and felt compassion for her, and in that moment I realized I was feeling compassion for myself.
So I forgave myself for everything.
I knew it was my fault because I allowed it all to happen.
But as I looked at her in the mirror I let it gave, told her I loved her, and changed my life in that moment, just like that.
She changed.
She became strong.
She believed in herself.
She loved herself.
And no matter what was her fault, she forgave it all.
And she forgave all the people that were a part of it.
And she cried tears of sadness as she let go and tears of happiness as she stood in her truth.
And all was right with her world.
And never again would she say “it’s your own fault” because she would never allow it to be.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
While I was in Malibu a few years ago finishing up my book, “Waking Up,” I was working on a short story about “loyalty.” I asked many people what it meant to them, and it soon became a topic that no one had a definitive answer for. In fact, a few people were annoyed when I asked their opinion; seemed it stuck in their mind and made them search for an answer; an answer that they could never find.
It also made them question the people in their life…and it made me question those in mine as well.
So what is loyalty? Does it have a different meaning for everyone? Do we make our own rules as to what loyalty is or is there a universal rule?
I start with my own loyalty. If you’re in my life and I love and care for you, I’ll always be loyal, unless you cross a boundary, in which case, I won’t strike back and become disloyal to you, I’ll simply walk away.
Next is the loyalty of those in my life. In healthy relationships of any kind, boundaries must 
be set for respect between each person. What bothers one person in the relationship may not bother another, yet communicating that to each other is key in the loyalty department. If you cross a boundary with someone in your life, you’ve just proved that you’re not loyal.
You see, “loyalty” is a tough one. The only answer I could get out of most people I spoke to about it was when they referenced the loyalty of a dog. A dog will always be loyal, yet my question made many wonder why humans can’t be the same.
We can, that is, if we choose to.
My loyalty lies with my love, my children and my closest of friends. And that loyalty goes beyond me; if you hurt those I love, my loyalty will have me walk out of your life as well. It doesn’t matter who you are.
Not many people are willing to do that. Many feel that it’s not their problem when someone hurts the ones’ you love; as long as they weren’t disloyal it’s okay. But is it? If someone intentionally hurts your child, or your spouse or significant other, why would you want to be a part of their life?
I think that’s where the confusion lies. I’ve been in that position before, where my loyalty was tested. It was a rough road between two people I care about, yet when push came to shove, my loyalty was with my love, not with the person who was hurting him. And I had to step out of that world with that other person, because my loyalty and my life is around him. Yes, feelings are hurt when you have to walk away from someone, yet in the end, it’s the right thing to do.
At least for me it was.
I know what loyalty is to me, and I won’t settle for anyone in my life being less loyal to me. We attract what we put out there, and for anyone that knows me, they know I have their back. They know I’ll walk through fire for them, defend them, honor them, love them, protect them, and more importantly, I will walk away from anyone who hurts them. End of story.
“Loyalty” is much more than how you treat someone; it’s also about how other’s treat the people in your life and whether or not you accept that behavior. The choice is yours.
Is “loyalty” a lost art or have we forgotten the importance of it?
“Loyalty” is one of the strongest qualities in any relationship because it breeds trust and respect, and isn’t that what every good relationship should be built on?
Think about it.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Anne Dennish - Writer/Author 