“Breast Cancer Didn’t Own Me – It Shaped Me”

As we begin Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I find myself thinking back on my own experience twelve years ago. Breast cancer brought fear, uncertainty, treatments, physical changes, and emotions I had never felt before—but it never became the entirety of who I was. It didn’t own me. It shaped me. I have often said, “Chemo healed the cancer, but the cancer healed me,” because that is truly how I felt. It taught me gratitude, grace, strength, and how precious an ordinary day can be.

While I was going through chemotherapy and radiation, I did my best to incorporate breast cancer into my regular life instead of allowing it to become my whole life. I had a wig that I absolutely loved, and wearing it helped me feel like myself. I went to work, out to dinner, and to happy hours. I laughed, spent time with the people I loved, and continued living. That didn’t mean I was never frightened or emotional, and it certainly didn’t mean every day was easy. It meant that beneath the diagnosis, the treatments, and the wig, I was still me—and I was determined not to lose sight of that.

Every woman’s journey through breast cancer is different, and there is no single right way to be strong. But if you are going through it now, I hope you remember that cancer may become part of your story without becoming your entire story. My experience gave me the opportunity to mentor other women, share what helped me, and eventually include my breast cancer journal in my book, “Waking Up.”

Today, twelve years and counting cancer-free, I remain deeply grateful and blessed. Breast cancer didn’t own me. It shaped me. Chemo healed the cancer, but in so many unexpected ways, the cancer healed me.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Chemo Healed The Cancer But The Cancer Healed Me”

My last book, “Waking Up: Lessons Learned From My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer” was born over two years ago while lying on a radiation table for breast cancer.

I’m the type of person that loves meeting people because every single one of us has a story…we ARE a story! Some may not believe that, yet as a writer, I know it’s true. I was out to dinner with my love one night, along with his cousin and his love, and a table full of people I had never met. Yet by the end of the night, I knew them well.

You see, that’s the beauty of paying attention to people and speaking to them, yet more importantly, LISTENING to them. They were laughing at me last night when I said that the whole night of conversations was indeed a story!

So it’s no surprise that “Waking Up” was born; the idea may have begun on a radiation table, yet the stories were already taking shape in my mind, and for the last two years of writing it, more stories were born. Every story is true; most of them are of my personal experiences, and there are a few born out of situations with someone else who graciously allowed me to write about it

Yet, here’s what that one moment that woke me up was: “breast cancer!”

Yes, I had been on a spiritual journey for years, but finding out I had cancer was a big kick in the ass! I realized that as much as I had learned over the years, the lessons were far from over. Breast cancer changed my life and how I live it. That tumor was all the things I never said out loud, all the pain of allowing people to treat me badly. It was everything I never said that I should have, so I made a deal with the cancer: “I’ll open my mouth and use my voice, I’ll make better choices of who I surround myself with, I’ll rid myself of people and situations that make me feel less than good, and I’ll take all of this and write about it to help someone else as long as you leave my body when the time is right.”

I guess the cancer agreed with the deal, because it held up its’ end of the bargain. I did all those things and it left me the day they cut all that stuff out of my body. They did more than a lumpectomy on February 21st. As cancer and I were about to say good-bye that day, I could hear it speaking to me. Sounds crazy, but it wasn’t really. It said: “You’ve done the work and I know it wasn’t easy. I’m sorry to have had to come and visit you, but this journey is over. Remember the lessons, remember to love yourself, and finish up our deal: tell your lessons to everyone you can reach. I’m counting on you.”

Well, in a strange way, chemo may have healed my cancer, but my cancer healed me. It taught me more than I could imagined, and since then, I spread the word, I keep out as much drama and stress as I can, and I walk away from anyone or anything that tries to control and manipulate me. Cancer didn’t abuse me as much as some people have tried to, and I’m smarter because of all of it.

“Waking Up” is so much more than a book; it’s my heart and soul that simply wants to make a difference in someone’s life. Life get’s shorter as we get older, and my goal is to live everyday to the fullest, to show love and kindness to someone who needs it, and most importantly, to make someone laugh and smile.

Struggles will always happen in our lives, yet it’s your attitude and perspective that will handle it and teach you more than you could have ever imagined.  After all, “we don’t become who we are by chance; we become who we are by choice.”

Love your lessons, whether you like them or not, because in the end, miracles happen!

“Chemo healed the cancer but the cancer healed me.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

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