“These Three Things”

It was during this last month of quarantine that I learned that three important components are absolutely necessary to survive being “SAFE at home.” They are patience, tolerance and forgiveness, and most often, in that order. 

You need to have patience with the people you live with, the people you deal with and with yourself. Every one of us will have a day of feeling stressed and anxious, and every one of us will take that out on someone else who had nothing to do with it. Therein lies the patience. Be patient in knowing that all of us are experiencing this in different ways and act out in different ways. Be patient with others and be patient with yourself while you’re trying to be patient with them!

You need to try to have some amount of tolerance of the behavior of others in order to have the patience you need to tolerate their moments of lashing out. That’s not to say that you have to be a doormat and the recipient of someone else’s anxiety or stress. It just means that on those occasions (and I hope they are few!) that someone takes out their mood on you, be tolerant and be patient with them.

And most importantly, you need to practice forgiveness. You need to forgive the people that you had to be patient and tolerant with, and you need to forgive yourself for the days that you couldn’t be.

These are difficult times we’re living in and I truly believe that patience, tolerance and forgiveness are a must. Under normal circumstances we may not have to practice tolerance of “not so good” behavior as much, but right now we do, as long as it’s not on a daily basis and not bordering on abusive. 

I know that we’re all trying to get through this as best we can and some days are just too much to handle, but we need to remember to not only be patient, tolerant and forgiving of others, but of ourselves as well. 

If you can practice these three things, toss in a large dose of kindness for others and yourself as well, you will find “safety AND serenity” at home. 

Hang in there…you’re doing just fine!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Say What You Mean”

“Say what you mean and mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it.”

It’s a simple concept yet a very important one.

It’s okay to voice an opinion or share how you’re feeling with someone. It’s your truth, but never, ever be mean to someone when you say it to them. It’s hurtful and it’s unkind.

There’s no reason to be mean to anyone.

Be kind. Be compassionate. Be respectful.

Speak your truth but don’t be mean when you speak it.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Take A Look In The Mirror”

Please be kind. Be kind to everyone. The world is in desperate need of it.

Don’t be the person who puts your back to someone to exclude them from being part of the group.

Don’t be the person who rolls your eyes when someone takes the time to hug you. 

Don’t be the person who treats someone badly because of someone else’s opinion and judgement of them.

Be the person that always leaves a space open for someone to be part of the group.

Be the person who hugs someone back with eyes filled with gratitude that they thought enough of you to hug you in the first place.

Be the person who treats everyone kindly, whether you like them or not.

Where do you get your judgement of another? Are you that weak minded that you can’t base an opinion of your own?Put this in book….write a longer story.

Take a look in the mirror. Which person are you?

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“It’s September 12th”

The world remembered September 11th yesterday and today we can take a breath and remember the world united on September 12th. 

Today is a new day, so let’s make it count.

Spread kindness wherever you go, smile at a stranger, and find gratitude in your life at this very moment.

It’s a brand new day filled with endless possibilities.

Go out and mark your mark in life and make a difference in the life of another.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Asbury Park, New Jersey

“Some Days And Other Days”

There are some days you just want to give up and give in. You’re tired of the drama and negativity that other people are bringing into your life, you’re exhausted from trying to escape it and them, and you feel helpless because you feel as though you have no control over anything. There are some days you feel sad for every reason and for no reason, you cry because you’re eyes need to let out the tears, and you feel tired even though you had a good night’s sleep.

Those are the “some days.”

But how about the “other days?”

The days you watch a beautiful sunrise with your morning coffee or spend time with your loved ones as you watch a spectacular sunset.

The days that you see all the beautiful people, places and things that surround you and know that you are blessed.

The days that you check off all the things on your to-do list and feel a sense of accomplishment.

The days that you walk away from the people that cause you drama and know that it’s their problem, not yours.

The days that you smile “just because,” laugh because it feels good and dance because no one and every one is watching!

The days that you’re overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers and believe that there truly is good in this world.

The days that you know that you made a positive difference in someone’s life and in the world.

The days that you wake up grateful to have another day to live your best life.

The “some days” will  happen now and again, but it’s those “other days” that help us get through them and send them on their way.

I love those “other days.”

Don’t you?

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Helping Those Affected By Hurricane Dorian”

My heart breaks as I watch the news about the devastation in the Bahamas from Hurricane Dorian. I can’t even imagine what those people are going through and I pray that the East Coast doesn’t suffer that same magnitude of destruction. 

Ever since I’ve returned home from moving my parents from their Florida home back to their New Jersey home, I’ve been cleaning and purging my own garage and house. I have a whole corner in my garage filled with items to be donated to an organization that needs them…kitchen items, bedding, books, and more.

Last night as I was watching the news I thought to myself: “Why not donate these items to be given to the people who’ve lost everything from this hurricane?” I know it’s not much in the grand scheme of all that they’ve lost, but it’s something. In fact, there’s always someone we can help, even in our local towns.

Today I’ll be looking for organizations that can use these items to help in the rebuilding of the lives of those most affected by Hurricane Dorian. I know the storm is still raging on and there are still other areas that may be affected by it, yet I have no control over that. 

What I DO have  control over is what I can do to help, even if it’s as small as donating the things I no longer need to the people who now need everything to rebuild their lives.

You see, we CAN make a difference and we can make that difference together.

Let’s do it.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“The Tired Soul”

My soul is tired. Actually, it’s exhausted.

And it’s drained, bumped and bruised.

The truth of the matter is that my soul needs some deep healing and a whole bunch of kindness.

Kindness, compassion, respect and unconditional love are natural healers. They soothe the soul, calm the nerves and allow the healing waters of tears to flow. They’re a natural way to release the negative things that have broken your soul, a way to help you to let things go and move forward, and a reminder of the strength you thought you lost.

So how do you begin to heal your soul?

Be kind to others.

Surround yourself with others that are kind to you.

And remember to be kind to yourself.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Listen To How They Treat You”

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“There’s a message in the way a person treats you…just listen.”

It’s the saying I absolutely believe in: “actions speak louder than words.”

All those loving, positive words you speak to someone are only truthful when the actions back them up.

All those negative, hurtful words you speak to someone are truth. It’s how someone honestly feels about you because when you truly love someone you wouldn’t say things you know that would hurt them. And trust me, those words will stay with them for a lifetime.

If you really love someone, be it your significant other, friend, family or child, why would you say something hurtful to them? You can’t take those words back and if you said them you must have meant them. And if you didn’t mean them then why did you say them? Just to hurt them because you can? To push them away? Or maybe you use those words to put them in their place as a way to control them.

Think about why you say things to hurt someone you love. No human being has the right to hurt another, especially someone who loves you. It could be that you don’t really love them, that you don’t understand love, or that love is nothing more than a matter of convenience to you. And know this: each time you say hurtful words to someone you love you bruise their heart and that heart begins to shut down little by little.

We’re all human and none of us are perfect. We get annoyed sometimes, we get angry, we get cranky…that’s okay, we all have moments like that, but it’s NOT okay to hurt someone you love. It’s NOT okay to make them feel like your bad mood is their fault because it’s not, it’s yours. And it’s NOT okay to think you have the right to say hurtful words to someone because you want to.

We have choices in all areas of our life, especially in our relationships. You have a choice of which words you use, you have a choice in the tone of your voice when you say them, and you have a choice to talk things through calmly with the one you love instead of being mean and hurtful.

And you have a choice to walk away.

You have a bad day? Work getting to you? Are you unhappy? Did someone make you angry or hurt your feelings?

We all rough days now and then, but understand that it’s not fair or right to take YOUR rough day out on another.

Think about what you’re feeling and why…

Don’t take it out on someone who loves you…

Don’t bruise the heart of someone who truly loves you..

And remember that their feelings are just as important as yours…

Be kind or be quiet.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“It’s Them, Not You”

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There’s this one life lesson that I’m obviously not learning as well as I should and it cropped up again on me last night without warning. And after it happened, I was more angry at myself for allowing it to have happened again.

And what is that? I allowed someone to take out their insecurities, jealousies, or bad day on me by bringing up painful past situations and mistakes that I’ve made peace with, moved on from, and learned from. And throughout the conversation I began defending myself…and I should and do know better than to do that.

Truth be told, by the time I got off the phone I was drained. They had said so many hurtful things to me that I went to bed in tears, feeling like a failure.

This morning I woke up with a headache, a bruised heart, and a sadness in my soul, but I’m working on that today. I know I’m not a failure because I’m living my life purpose and pursuing my passion and dreams. I know I’m not a failure because I keep moving forward with a positive attitude no matter what life or another person hands me. And I know I’m not a failure because I would never do anything hurtful to another even though they did that to me.

I understand that people have bad days, trust me, I do as well, but I would never take it out on another person. And as I’ve taught my children, when people are unkind, mean or hurtful to you, it’s not really because of YOU; they are simply taking their fears, their insecurities, their jealousies or bad days out on you. They’re afraid to face their own truth and their own life so they inflict emotional and verbal pain on you. It’s not okay for anyone to do that to another human being. We can all understand why they do it but we do NOT have to allow them to do it.

Are you wondering why I allowed it yet again? Me too, but the truth is, it was someone in my family and I didn’t see the conversation going in that direction until it did…and I just couldn’t seem to shut it down. I told my best friend about it this morning and she said to me: “this is your problem; use your voice, shut them down and talk to them the same way they’re talking to you.” My response: “I won’t lower myself to that level and I will not be unkind to someone even if they’re being unkind to me.”

And I think that’s a lesson for all of us. What we allow will continue and sometimes the people that are unkind to us are the closest to us, yet I believe this to be true: even if it’s family, it’s no reason to allow that behavior. Sometimes, especially with family, we have to wish them love and light and put some distance between us. It’s difficult to do at times, but absolutely necessary.

Distance between family members doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it means you love yourself just as much.

So today I’m healing my heart, finding some joy in my soul and forgiving them for doing it and forgiving myself for allowing it.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Feel, Deal and Heal”

I’ve gone through my share of, what most may say, are traumatic experiences: divorce, cancer, and abuse, to name a few. When I share these experiences publicly many people ask me how I’m still standing, how in the world did I become so positive after so many negative things happened to me.

My answer is always the same: Because I chose to get through and I’m standing even stronger.

And how is that possible?

Because I knew I had to feel all the emotions that came with those “traumas” and deal with them; and that’s how I was able to heal.

No one wants to feel hurt, sadness or brokenness, yet we all do at some point in our life. Many people block those emotions; they tuck them away and believe that they moved on from them. I can tell you that they didn’t. Ignoring what you have to face is lying to yourself and eventually all those emotions you didn’t deal with will catch up with you at some point in your life. They always do.

And when they do catch up with you those around you pay the price for it as well.

Don’t you want to feel happy? Don’t you want to find joy in your life? Don’t you want to let go of an experience that caused you pain?

Sure you do…we all do.

So do it. Take a long look in the mirror at yourself and let your truth come through. Take that experience and all the pain that came with it and deal with it. Feel the pain, the heartache and let the healing waters of your tears flow to release it all. Then forgive the experience so you no longer hold onto it and then forgive yourself for allowing it to hold you back from the happiness you want and deserve.

You can run from those traumatic experiences but trust me, you can’t hide from them until you deal with them.

Feel, deal and heal, my friends.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~

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