“Listen To How They Treat You”

the way a person treats you

“There’s a message in the way a person treats you…just listen.”

It’s the saying I absolutely believe in: “actions speak louder than words.”

All those loving, positive words you speak to someone are only truthful when the actions back them up.

All those negative, hurtful words you speak to someone are truth. It’s how someone honestly feels about you because when you truly love someone you wouldn’t say things you know that would hurt them. And trust me, those words will stay with them for a lifetime.

If you really love someone, be it your significant other, friend, family or child, why would you say something hurtful to them? You can’t take those words back and if you said them you must have meant them. And if you didn’t mean them then why did you say them? Just to hurt them because you can? To push them away? Or maybe you use those words to put them in their place as a way to control them.

Think about why you say things to hurt someone you love. No human being has the right to hurt another, especially someone who loves you. It could be that you don’t really love them, that you don’t understand love, or that love is nothing more than a matter of convenience to you. And know this: each time you say hurtful words to someone you love you bruise their heart and that heart begins to shut down little by little.

We’re all human and none of us are perfect. We get annoyed sometimes, we get angry, we get cranky…that’s okay, we all have moments like that, but it’s NOT okay to hurt someone you love. It’s NOT okay to make them feel like your bad mood is their fault because it’s not, it’s yours. And it’s NOT okay to think you have the right to say hurtful words to someone because you want to.

We have choices in all areas of our life, especially in our relationships. You have a choice of which words you use, you have a choice in the tone of your voice when you say them, and you have a choice to talk things through calmly with the one you love instead of being mean and hurtful.

And you have a choice to walk away.

You have a bad day? Work getting to you? Are you unhappy? Did someone make you angry or hurt your feelings?

We all rough days now and then, but understand that it’s not fair or right to take YOUR rough day out on another.

Think about what you’re feeling and why…

Don’t take it out on someone who loves you…

Don’t bruise the heart of someone who truly loves you..

And remember that their feelings are just as important as yours…

Be kind or be quiet.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Turning Off The World”

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It’s been a rough week for me, one filled with a mix of emotions, disappointments, hurt and feeling mentally and physically exhausted, yet I was able to get through the last week knowing that on Saturday morning my love and I were finally getting away for the night…a much needed 24 hours away, just us two. I’ve been wanting to do this for two months and we were there, at last.

It’s so important to reconnect with the one you love every so often, or as often as you can. Life is always happening, work calls, responsibilities, career changes and the list goes on. It keeps us busy and we lose focus on what’s important: each other and the care of the relationship.

And that’s what was happening to us.

So I had suggested a night away. It took two months to do it, but I booked a beautiful hotel with all the amenities we could want, which meant that we could check in and never have to leave until we checked out the next day.

My only request was that we turned off the phones, no texting, no messages, no emails, no television and definitely NO Facebook. In other words, I wanted to turn the world off.

And he agreed.

And we did it.

And it was a beautiful 24 hours of no distractions of any kind and our full attention was on each other. It worked out so well that when we got home the next day I suggested that we keep it going until Monday morning, the day that I knew the real world had to come back into our life.

I realized an important thing in that 24 four hour period: that we all need to turn off and shut out the real world at times, and sometimes that time is as often as possible.

During those hours we had to focus on each other, because that’s all we had in that hotel room, and in the grand scheme of relationships, isn’t that all we have in the end…”each other?” Isn’t the relationship between two people important enough that we should never lose sight of? Shouldn’t the relationship be tended to as we do our garden…we care for it, feed it what it needs, and cut out the weeds?

Relationships need to be tended to and cared for just like a garden. When they feel fragile they need to be solidified. When they seem weak they need to be strengthened. And when they feel lost both people need to find each other…together.

It’s really a pretty simple concept, yet in the busy world, often times overlooked.

And I’m not that girl. I pay attention to the smallest and largest of detail and I’m protective of our relationship.

So these 24 hours were not just desperately needed, but absolutely necessary.

We had dinner together, sat for hours on the balcony under the moon and the stars sipping Sangria and just being alone together with no distractions of the outside world or anyone in it. There were no long conversations, a rare thing for me, but in my mind I wanted to leave my troubles behind and just “be” on this balcony with him.

I realized that it was the first time in more months than I could count that we were truly alone with no distractions, and as the hours passed we seemed to find each other again, over and over.

And it was comforting.

So here I am on Monday morning opening my life up back to the world. It already feels in the enddifferent yet I know this to be true: you can run but you can’t hide, and this is “life.”

The lesson I learned in this is that the real world always exists, but it’s important to turn it off as often as you can and forget about the distractions.

In the end there is nothing more important than the love you share together as a couple and never allowing the outside world to distract you from what’s truly important and what truly matters: each other. After all, “love is what lifts you up when life tries to bring you down.”

I can promise you that it’s worth it in the end; after all, it’s not the distractions that are important, it’s the relationship between you and the one you love.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Change of Plans”

Our days don’t always go as planned, as yesterday was one of those days for me. I had plans for the day that never came to fruition, so what next? Well, do it all over again today… more rested, more upbeat, and ready to go!

It can be frustrating when things don’t go your way, but my belief is that the Universe had other plans for my day yesterday, and has even bigger plans today! So, I take my leap of faith and go with the flow.

Same for my writing, which has been slow going lately. This picture depicts what myfrustrated 1 desk and me look like at the moment. Yet, I know that just as the plans of yesterday were changed, sometimes my writing is the same: I have to wait, watch and listen to the world around me to find the next story to write, the next post to share, and the next book to publish.

Today I accept what is and what isn’t and am ready to embrace another day and hopefully, another adventure.

Don’t get discouraged when things don’t go as planned; it’s simply the Universe planning something better!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

just for today

“Life Is Like The Great Outdoors”

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Life is about perspective and I have become the queen of analogies lately. Some call it a defense mechanism, I call it survival; it’s my way of taking the ugly and finding some beauty in it.

I’ll admit, the month of March was not so good for me; losing loved ones, feeling so drained that I got sick, not once, but twice, and any bad news that could filter it’s way into my life came in the month of March. It’s no wonder I’m celebrating April 1st today!

This morning I was speaking to my girlfriend who’s had a bit of a rough go lately. Sheoutdoors 1 was feeling down and not knowing what to do to get out of her head and this funk she was in. She told me that she felt like she had to get a hold of her life, get hold of a line of it. I tried to reassure her that this too will pass and then I said to her: “Go fishing. Go stand at the edge of the river and throw in your line. Look at that hook that’s out in the water and see it as your life. Gently reel it in, keeping a firm hold on it. And there you go, you’re reeling it your life that you felt got away from you.”

She laughed but also understood the analogy. Sometimes our life can feel like “the one that got away,” yet when we feel that we all we have to do it go fishing, be patient, and reel it in…and this one “won’t get away.”

I have my own analogy for letting go of toxic people in my life; I say that I’m going “gardening.” I look at the difficult process of letting some people go as one of “weeding out” the toxic people, or “weeds” as I like to think. So, I envision a beautiful garden which represents all those I love and that are in my life for my Highest Good. When I notice a weed in my garden, I know it’s time to pull it out. After all, it’s the weeds that choke out the flowers.

My favorite analogy is one I use often to help my friends out: it’s about the fear of taking 999383-002a leap of faith. I tell them to envision themselves on a cliff, looking out and over a beautiful ocean or endless mountain range. I tell them to see everything that is beautiful and good, and to pick a spot to land. That spot is what or where they want to be or have in life that fear is preventing them from having. Once they find the spot, I tell them to jump…jump off the cliff, knowing that you’re protected by a parachute or bungee cord of faith, and that the arms of love will be there to catch you. It’s an incredible leap of faith, but one that you can do if you change your perspective on it and lose that fear.

Sometimes on your worst of days you have to try to envision it as something else; change your perspective, make it a picture in your mind, or just head to “the great outdoors” for a little fishing and a bit of gardening. End it with strapping on your parachute of faith and take that jump…

It’s worth it; I promise.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“It’s A New Day”

Every so often someone will tell me that they had a “bad day,” and sometimes I find myself saying it as well. Yet in the grand scheme of life, is there really a bad day? Sure, not every day goes as we had planned or hoped. We receive bad news, we struggle with problems not of our own, we find ourselves drained, both emotionally and physically. I guess that can justify being a “bad day.”

I know I’ve had much more of my share in the last month, yet I have to keep reminding myself to be grateful for even the bad days, because truth is, we had another day, whether it was good or bad.

We were gifted yet another day of life, and another day to “do it better than the day before.”

Embrace all your days and make the most of them. Be grateful for another day to spend with your loved ones. Wake up in the morning knowing that anything is possible, and count your blessings from the day as you go to sleep at night.

You just need to have faith and believe.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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