“Listen To How They Treat You”

the way a person treats you

“There’s a message in the way a person treats you…just listen.”

It’s the saying I absolutely believe in: “actions speak louder than words.”

All those loving, positive words you speak to someone are only truthful when the actions back them up.

All those negative, hurtful words you speak to someone are truth. It’s how someone honestly feels about you because when you truly love someone you wouldn’t say things you know that would hurt them. And trust me, those words will stay with them for a lifetime.

If you really love someone, be it your significant other, friend, family or child, why would you say something hurtful to them? You can’t take those words back and if you said them you must have meant them. And if you didn’t mean them then why did you say them? Just to hurt them because you can? To push them away? Or maybe you use those words to put them in their place as a way to control them.

Think about why you say things to hurt someone you love. No human being has the right to hurt another, especially someone who loves you. It could be that you don’t really love them, that you don’t understand love, or that love is nothing more than a matter of convenience to you. And know this: each time you say hurtful words to someone you love you bruise their heart and that heart begins to shut down little by little.

We’re all human and none of us are perfect. We get annoyed sometimes, we get angry, we get cranky…that’s okay, we all have moments like that, but it’s NOT okay to hurt someone you love. It’s NOT okay to make them feel like your bad mood is their fault because it’s not, it’s yours. And it’s NOT okay to think you have the right to say hurtful words to someone because you want to.

We have choices in all areas of our life, especially in our relationships. You have a choice of which words you use, you have a choice in the tone of your voice when you say them, and you have a choice to talk things through calmly with the one you love instead of being mean and hurtful.

And you have a choice to walk away.

You have a bad day? Work getting to you? Are you unhappy? Did someone make you angry or hurt your feelings?

We all rough days now and then, but understand that it’s not fair or right to take YOUR rough day out on another.

Think about what you’re feeling and why…

Don’t take it out on someone who loves you…

Don’t bruise the heart of someone who truly loves you..

And remember that their feelings are just as important as yours…

Be kind or be quiet.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“A Broken Heart”

“A broken heart is proof that it still works.” ~Anne Dennish~

Ah, the broken heart…we’ve all had one at one time or another in our life, and it’s never easy to get through.

But you can get through…if you choose to.

Life is what happens when we’re not paying attention, and what that means is that we’ve recite-1rs96tblost sight of the blessings in our life, and in some way, taken them for granted, always believing that if they’re there in the first place, they’ll never be taken away. And that’s how a broken heart happens: we weren’t paying attention.

Broken hearts are our greatest teachers, yet there’s a few things you have to understand to realize that.

Let’s be honest, broken hearts happen because of “love.” They happen when something suddenly rocks our world, and what we believed to be true suddenly looks very different….but maybe it isn’t different. Maybe it’s the same as it always was; we just didn’t take the time to see it.

We’re all human and we all make mistakes, but if you want to start to heal a broken heart you must throw away the “list of wrongs” and write the “list of rights.” Sure, when you’re heart is broken you feel betrayed, angry, hurt, even confrontational; all valid feelings yet negative emotions only bring negative reactions. So, when the the dust settles from these emotions, and you can put them aside, the real healing begins.

“Forgiving” is the hardest thing in the world to do; “loving” is the easiest. Yet, by forgiving, we release our anger and negativity; it doesn’t excuse someone’s behavior, but it allows us to move forward with clear eyes and an open heart.

My worst broken heart was my greatest teacher; I could sit here and go on and on that he treated me badly, hurt my feelings, disrespected me, and so on and so forth. And I used to wonder why someone could treat me badly, or break my heart; I didn’t feel like I deserved it. But here’s the truth:

I didn’t deserve it; I allowed it.

Hearts are broken from miscommunication, biting our tongue and not standing in our truth. I learned that the hard way; I should have used my voice, stood in my truth, and set clear boundaries of what I would allow and what I wouldn’t.

I know to do that now.

Time-to-change-myBroken hearts happen for many reasons, yet when you can put the hurt and blame aside, that’s when the reality comes in and the healing can start. When you take your own accountability in the brokenness, you heal, you become stronger, and you learn something about yourself…and with that, you’re given the gift of changing yourself.

I can promise you that your broken heart will mend; and it will mend stronger…but you have to do the work and LET IT!

“Broken hearts are the reality of what we lost sight of.” ~Anne Dennish~

Life as we know it can change with a broken heart, but why not let it change for the better? Look at the positive in a hurtful situation; something wasn’t working, the Universe whacked you with a 2×4 to wake you up, and now you’ve been given a chance to learn and change.

I believe that there’s always something good to be found in the storm; it will take time to see, but it’s there. The choice to see it is up to you. And sometimes, just sometimes, maybe it’s the “storm before the calm.”

Life’s an adventure with ups and downs; how you handle it and move forward is your gift of choice…choose wisely!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“What’s Your Agenda?”

Good morning! What a weekend it was! My mind is still trying to process a dream coming true at Barnes and Noble this past Saturday… yet, there’s no rest for the weary and it’s time to keep moving forward. With that said… I have a question for all of you:

Do you have an agenda in life?

I’ve had this discussion with several people this week, so I’m assuming that the Universe is asking me to write about it! So, here goes:

Throughout the years I’ve heard men say that women all have an “agenda,” and I believe women feel the same about men. In fact, someone made that statement to me years ago, and as he lumped me in with all women in the world, I thought about it. Within seconds I answered him: “Yes, you’re right. All women do have an agenda, and mine is to be happy.” That stopped him right in his tracks, yet it didn’t stop me.

I’m curious about people and their stories, and about their “agenda” in life. I’ve come to realize that a positive agenda which is based solely on your purpose in life and your Highest Good is the agenda to have; this agenda involves you and you alone. Other’s will help it along, but the agenda you have is up to you.

Then there is the other type of agenda: the one that is self-serving and involves a manipulative or controlling behavior that involves someone else. I find that the people with this type of agenda are not living the life they want; they’re not as happy as they’d like to be, and they tend to want what others have. They tend to be martyrs; people that know they have a choice to change their life and their thinking, yet are too fearful to do so. They tend to control other’s lives because they can’t control their own.

And they’re not all bad people; they’re sad people who sometimes get so lost in their own tearsdespair that they have an agenda with those that are NOT lost, those that ARE happy, and those that ARE in control. Most times they don’t even realize what they’re doing, and that’s where we need to pay attention to our Highest Good to know what they’re doing and not allow it. It’s never selfish to do what’s best for you!

We can’t fix another human being; we can only fix ourselves. We can love them and stand by them, yet if they are unable to change, it’s okay to wish them love and light and walk away. Keep them in your thoughts, remember them in your prayers, but if their “agenda” is hurting you, then it’s time to love yourself more… and that is an “agenda” worth having: “to be happy.”

One more time: what is your agenda in life?

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“You Had A Bad Day”

A tone in the voice, a look of the eyes, and a distinct difference in the body language… yes, you’ve just been part of someone’s bad day.

It happens all too often, but the trick is to understand the behavior and realize that it has nothing to do with you.

We get frustrated, angry, or annoyed, and when we feel those negative emotions, it’s the people around us, which are usually the one’s we love the most, who feel it as well. Your unhappy mood can affect someone else’s good mood…but only if they let you.

You see, negative emotions bring negative reactions and responses, and if I’m wrong on this, please let me know. Positive brings positive; negative brings negative. Pretty simply concept, isn’t it? Yet, life get’s to us all now and again, and we feel some negative things, but don’t feel them too long. Take a breath, and think about why you feel that way…and if you’re the recipient of the bad mood, understand that it’s nothing you’ve said or done; it’s their fear, insecurity or unhappiness with themselves, not you.

If I find myself on the other end of someone’s “bad mood,” I’ll only allow myself about 30 seconds to hang my head and feel badly about it…yes, it does make me feel bad, but as soon as those 30 seconds pass, I say to myself: “It’s their bad day, not mine. If I can help them, I will. If they just need to vent, I’ll listen. But no, I’m not taking the blame for their feelings.”

I know, sounds easy, and it’s not always that easy. But this is where your “love of self” is so important! We can’t control another person’s behavior, but we can control what we allow: our feelings, our responses, and our tolerance.

Life isn’t perfect and neither are we. We all have a bad day once in awhile, but the important thing is this: don’t take it out on someone else. That “someone else” just may be the one to help and love you out of that bad mood.

So, on with the day, my friends. Stay strong, stay positive,and know that you are in complete control of your own actions and emotions. In the end, bad moods don’t last forever, and as the saying goes: “Don’t sweat the small stuff!”

Wishing you love, light and a happy mood,

~Anne Dennish~

life is too short

“A Martini Glass of Tears”

Yesterday was a bad day…and I don’t have those very often. My feelings were hurt, I heard some news that was upsetting, and the realization of who I thought was a friend turned out not to be true. Needless to say, the martini glass was filled with tears by the end of the night.martini glass 1

Yet bad days happen for a reason; they allow us to see what the good days really are. Yesterday was a compilation of all the changes happening in my life at the moment (and most of them are all good!), feeling beat up and manipulated by someone, and knowing that life has just handed me another challenge.

I went to bed in tears last night, and woke up this morning with swollen eyes. But I woke up better. I cried it all out and I believe with all my heart that a good cry is our soul’s way of cleansing all the negativity within us. I had had a week in which negative stuff was building up day by day, and last night it all broke open.

tearsThis morning I woke with the dawn, and sat outside with my coffee, listening to my intuition and the voices of reason that can only be heard in the silence. I’m not upset anymore, and the hurt that I felt from outside sources has lessened. They’ve lessened because I’ve forgiven them…not to their face, or over the phone. I’ve forgiven their hurtful behavior so that I’m not hurt or angry. And I’ve forgiven myself for allowing it to bother me in the first place.

We are in control of our emotions, and perhaps mine exploded last night due to fatigue and sleepless nights. Those are key factors in our “falling apart.” It’s so important to stay healthy and well rested, because when we’re not, our emotions take advantage of us, and we simply don’t have the strength to be strong.

“When you can’t find the strength, let the strength find you.”

My strength found me this morning with the sunrise, a hot cup of coffee, and feeling well rested. Moments like the one I had yesterday have to happen every so often. I believe they’re good for us at times, as long as it’s not happening every day.

“Trials, tribulations and blessings are one in the same because you can’t have one without the other.”

Our greatest blessings come from the lessons we learn from our trials and tribulations, and I truly believe that if we understand that, then we have found the secret to life.

Today is a good day, and I know it will get better. The martini glass that was once filled with tears is empty…and a new day is upon me, with no mistakes in it.

“Every new day is chance to do it better than the day before.”

Wishing you love and light, my friends,

~Anne Dennish~

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“The True Colors of Relationships”

-an excerpt from “Waking Up”  copyright 2016

“You feel a sadness when your world explodes; when everything and everyone you believed to be one way turns out to be something completely different. This realization rocks your world, breaks your heart, and dispels all truths you believed in the first place.”

We get upset when someone close to us shows us their true colors, yet what we need to understand is that they are the colors of who they were all along. Sometimes we make someone out to be all that we want, choosing to wear the rose colored glasses that guard us from the truth. It’s self-protection, yet in the end, the truth will always set you free, no matter what the situation. “Find your true colors and you’ll be able to see someone else’s as well.”

“Everything if forgivable, just not always repairable.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Sorry”

“Sorry only means something if you’re willing to change the behavior that made you say it in the first place.”

~Anne Dennish~

from “Waking Up” 2016