Sometimes you have to write yourself a “permission slip.” Remember those back in grade school? They were the ones your parents wrote for your teacher or school telling them that you had permission to leave early, or permission to attend a class trip. It seems so long ago yet as adults I think we need to write one to ourselves.
I’m home by myself this week. Eight days and seven nights of “alone” time and it’s been good for me. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of travel and my oldest and daughter-in-law came for a visit, so this time was much needed and well deserved.
And during this time, I realized something sacred: “I can.”
I can say no to what drains me.
I can say yes to what lights me up.
I can order takeout without guilt.
I can write when I feel called to.
I can nap if I need to.
I can breathe deeply.
I can be gentle with myself.
I can say: “This is my time.”
This is the freedom that we often forget that we’re allowed to take. Balance isn’t about doing it all, it’s about knowing when to shift, when to rest and when to rise.
Write yourself a permission slip. Remember that this is your time. Live a life of “I can!”
I’m happy to say that I’ve been back in full swing writing the sequel to my last book, “The Mind of a Heart.” My apologies to those of you who have been waiting to see what happens next to the main character of that book. I had hoped to have it done sooner but it’s been a bit more difficult getting back to writing while living in Florida. I’ve been trying to “get my groove back” and it feels as though I finally have. I’ve written over 60 pages and 10 chapters in the last few days. My deadline is my birthday, March 15th, to have the book finished, edited and sent to the publisher.
It’s funny what motivates us to get back into doing the things that we love to do. So often we’re doing so much for everyone else and making them a priority that we forget to focus on ourselves. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last month or so is that no one is going to make me a priority if I don’t make myself one.
Life can be strange sometimes but I’m beyond happy that I’m writing again and am finally finishing my next book because it means so much to me.
Do something that makes you happy and make yourself a priority.
Do you make a list of things you need to do? I do and I don’t have just one! I have the shopping list, the list of bills that need to be paid, a list of doctor appointments that need to be made and so on, and so forth. I must go through all the lists I’ve made at least once a month to check off what I’ve done and what still needs to be done.
But what about this? What about making a list of things you need to do each day just for YOU? Why not make a list of “reminders” of important thoughts and actions you need to live your best life?
Here’s a “life list” I started making for myself for this new year of 2025:
The moment my eyes open in the morning, and before I get out of bed, I stretch and say a prayer of gratitude for another day to do things better than the day before.
Each morning that I have my first cup of coffee (or tea) I sit and meditate for the day. I keep my thoughts positive and remind myself that I am worthy of all good things.
I want to devote time each day to reading a book with a cup of tea and relaxing.
When my thoughts start racing into a negative direction I will stop and take some deep breaths and refocus my attention on something positive. (This is an important one while dealing with PTSD)
And each day I want to embrace the gift of another day to laugh, to dance, to hug another and to count my blessings.
The list can go on and on but you understand what I mean. We tend to get so caught up in life that we forget to enjoy it and it’s time that we change that!
My heart and soul hurt. It’s a pain that I have no control over because it’s caused by people I love the most: my family.
I understand that I can’t control the behavior of others, but how do you stop them from constantly doing things that they know hurt you? Why do they isolate you from the people you love? Why don’t they care what they’re doing to you?
I was diagnosed with PTSD years ago after a difficult marriage and divorce. I spent years doing what needed to be done to heal myself. It worked, or so I thought. That’s the thing about PTSD; it can come back in an instant and it did.
I used to believe that there is nothing more important than family, but I don’t anymore. It has been close family members that have caused most of the trauma in my life.
Most of my family never really accepted me for who I am. They can’t understand how I can be faced with hard things in life and still remain positive. Their lack of understanding of who I am may be the reason for their behavior towards me.
They prey on my empathetic personality and think nothing of doing what they can to hurt me, and I don’t understand why. I’m no threat to them or anyone else. I’m just this girl who wants to share her experiences with the world in the hopes that someone can relate and know that it will be okay. I’m just this girl that wants to try to change the lives of others and the world for the better. I’m just this girl that tries to teach people that kindness matters and that we are all important.
I have very little contact with these people, yet they know how to get their point across to cause pain.
I’ve always been open about my life and I felt that it was important to do so now. Yes, my PTSD is back and I’m doing what I have to do to heal. I’ve tried to tell one of those family members about how much their behavior hurt me only to be told that I deserved to be treated that way.
No one deserves to be treated badly. No one deserves to be hurt intentionally, and no one deserves to feel worthless because others think that they are. Isn’t there enough pain and heartache going on in the world now? Why be a person who intentionally causes that to others?
I keep telling myself that their behavior towards me is their own insecurities about themselves and that they have to hurt me in order for them to feel good about themselves. They are the narcissists and abusers of the world and sadly, they are part of mine.
I’ve begun my journey of healing. I have to forgive them so that the anger doesn’t continue but I do NOT have to forget what they’ve done to me, and I never will. Unfortunately, family is connected in one way or another so cutting them out of my life is one thing, yet the connection is still there.
This is not the way that I intended to end 2024 yet I have learned so much with all that’s happened
that it’s time to begin 2025 without them.
I’m grateful for the life lessons, painful or not, that have placed me on this journey of healing. I intend to embrace each and every step along the way.
And for any of you going through something similar, I’m here for you. Together we can help each other to heal and hopefully, we can heal the world!
Another memory popped up today that reminded me about “lists.” We all make them and we’re always adding to them, but they’re usually “to-do” lists of things we need to get done in a day. All too often these lists do not have anything on them about doing something for ourselves. They’re usually about tasks, appointments and things we have to get done but why don’t we try another type of list? How about a list of things that are specifically for YOU and no one else? Why not have a list of things that help YOU to live your best life?
I know that we need lists to help us to be organized and as reminders of things that need to get done, but I think a “to-do” list for YOU is just as important.
Do you know what that picture below represents? It’s the face of a happy person. It’s the face of someone who received or was treated with kindness from another, maybe even a stranger. Can you imagine what the world would look like if we lived in a sea of smiles? I think that it would be absolutely beautiful.
Who wants to join me in making a commitment to spread kindness wherever we go? Who wants to join me in trying to share an act of kindness with someone every day?Who wants to join me in putting in the effort to make this world a better place?
If you’re in, type “yes” below or share a comment.
All of you that follow me are amazing and I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without your love and support and I am so grateful for each and every one of you.
And today I offer my kindness to all of you by telling you just that, because it’s the truth.
Here’s to happy faces and happy people made possible by all of us that want to make this world a better place.
Do you ever hear a song on the radio that takes you back in time? One that transports you to a time when you were younger and life seemed much simpler?
It’s that song that brings you back to a precious memory, of a time when you remember being so carefree and happy.
For me it’s a song sung by Eddie Money that makes me think that “I wanna go back and do it all over, but I can’t back, I know.”
But I can’t go back. None of us can.
What we can do is hold onto those memories from a lifetime ago.
Keep them safely tucked inside of your heart.
And don’t lose sight of “now.”
When life isn’t going the way we had planned, or we’re feeling sad or depressed, or as though we’ll never be happy again, we often go back to those times.
We all do.
But don’t go back to those times and wish that you were there again.
Visit those times to remind you that you have been happy and that life was all that you wanted it to be at that time.
And let those times remind you that you can have that in the “now.” You didn’t leave happiness in your past. It was simply a different time in your life that taught you what “happiness” feels like.
Take those feelings of old memories with you into your “now.”
And let your “now” guide you into your “future.”
Life is a series of memories, good and bad, a series of life lessons, easy and hard, and a series of ups and downs. Experience is a great teacher and memories are gifts that we are given along the way.
Go back and visit if only to remind you that your “now” is just as precious as your “then.”
Can you believe that this year is almost over? Time sure flies by quickly and I find that the older I get, the faster it flies, which is why it’s even more important to make my life as simple as possible so that I have more time to enjoy life.
Sounds wonderful doesn’t it? It does to me and I know that in order for a “simpler” kind of life to happen, we need to put in a little bit of effort.
One of the things I love to do at this time of year is to begin a journey of “decluttering” my life and I’m not just talking about materialistic things. We need to declutter our minds as well. Any type of clutter can make for stress and imbalance in our lives and when we take the time to “declutter” we’re taking care of ourselves. It’s also a wonderful opportunity to clean out the clutter from the past year to make space for all the “new” things that the upcoming year will bring.
It’s a good time to clean out your drawers and closets to donate items that someone else may get better use of. It’s also a great time to go through your stacks of papers, clean out your in-boxes, and re-evaluate your friends list on social media. It’s time to get rid of that stagnant energy so that you can replace it with exciting and positive energy.
It’s a good time to clear out the clutter that exists around you and within you. It’s time to open up space for new and exciting adventures to happen.
Here’s to getting ready for the New Year, one that I hope is filled with lots of love, happiness and promise for all of you!
You know that old saying: “I’ve got a lot on my plate?” I know it all too well. There are days I feel as though my whole life has been one full plate after another. It’s frustrating but as I believe, the Universe is trying to teach me something about myself.
I feel as though it asks me: “Why do you have so much on your plate? What choices did you make that piled your plate with things you didn’t want? Why aren’t you clearing your plate?”
Smart questions that force you to face difficult answers. And the only answer is this: “You allowed it.”
Today I sit with a plate that feels as though it’s overflowing and I’m trying to figure out how to clear it.
Have you ever felt that way? Have you wondered why life is handing you one difficult situation after another?
If you have, then the only answer is to look within yourself and at the choices you have made. Did those choices fill your plate? Are your actions bringing you one difficult situation after another?
The only answer I have is to stay calm and stay positive. Think about all those things on your plate and scrape off the situations that aren’t yours. After that take a look at what’s left and come up with a plan to scrape off the rest.
Life isn’t always easy and solving our own “full plates” can be difficult, but I promise you this, it’s worth your time to clear it.
Here’s to “full plates becoming empty.” Here’s to seeing the positive in what seems so negative at this moment.
We all want to feel important to the people who are important to us. We want to know that we’re a priority, not a convenience. We want to know that the relationship means as much to them as it does to us.
It doesn’t always work that way.
We are all different and what’s important to the people we care about may not be important to us. It’s crucial that in any relationship you have to communicate. You have to be vulnerable with your feelings and not be judged for them. You have to listen and understand that the other person may feel differently than you.
And that’s what makes life interesting. We’re different and if we weren’t, life would be boring. We have to accept the people in our life for WHO they are, not what you want them to be.
You learn from the differences of others. You may learn a different perspective, or different way of thinking, and you may even learn more about yourself.
I know that disagreements happen but I also know that through communication comes a deeper understanding about the nature of the disagreement. You have to be vulnerable to communicate with others, especially those that you are closest to, and that honest vulnerability should never be judged.
I think it’s a gift when someone in my life is vulnerable to me. It means they trust their feelings with me and know that they won’t be judged or told that they’re wrong.
And when disagreements come up in your relationship, friendships or family, remember this: “Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it.”
Kindness, compassion and understanding go a long way.
