Another memory popped up today that reminded me about “lists.” We all make them and we’re always adding to them, but they’re usually “to-do” lists of things we need to get done in a day. All too often these lists do not have anything on them about doing something for ourselves. They’re usually about tasks, appointments and things we have to get done but why don’t we try another type of list? How about a list of things that are specifically for YOU and no one else? Why not have a list of things that help YOU to live your best life?
I know that we need lists to help us to be organized and as reminders of things that need to get done, but I think a “to-do” list for YOU is just as important.
“Never let anyone steal your brave because of their fears and insecurities, never let anyone steal your pretty because they have an ugly personality, and never let anyone steal your sparkle because they don’t know how to shine.” ~Anne Dennish~
Sometimes all we need is a memory to pop up to remind us of a life lesson. This was mine from many years ago.
A good friend of mine had stopped by my house many years ago. We hadn’t seen each other in months, and it was a much-needed break for me that day. We had a nice visit, but it was something that she said as we said “goodbye”, that stuck with me for many hours that day. She said: “What happened to you? You lost your pretty, your sparkle and your brave! Go get that stuff back!”
Wow, point taken, and she was right. I had lost my pretty, forgotten about my brave, and had most definitely lost my sparkle. My task on that day was to figure out what happened to it all and the next was to go and get it back. It wasn’t the thing that I had wanted to do that day, but after all, if I’m going to share my experiences with all of you and tell you how I got through them then I had to practice what I preach or at least practice what I write about!
So, what happened to my pretty, my brave and my sparkle?
A lot of things happened.
Yet it isn’t so much about “what” those things were but “why” those things happened. And as always, I believe that what we allow will continue and that we have to set up healthy boundaries in our life and not allow them to be crossed.
It’s easier said than done.
So, on that day I had to look in the mirror and be truthful with myself. And yes, the truth, even our own truth, can hurt.
And it did.
I had work to do that day and I was more than ready to do it. I knew then why and how I lost my pretty, my brave and my sparkle.
I lost it because I lost sight of its importance to me and that those three things are a part of me. I forgot to love myself the way I want to be loved, and I lost sight of myself as well.
You see, I’m as human as you and even I have to be handed another experience in life to remind me of a life lesson that I had forgotten and needed to remember.
Only I am in charge of changing myself; only I am in charge of my feelings and emotions; and only I am in charge of my actions and reactions.
After all, don’t I always say that “everything in YOUR life begins with YOU?”
On that day many years ago, I remembered that “everything in MY life begins with ME.”
I am incredibly excited to let you know that I have started my own podcast called “Here’s The Thing” with Anne Dennish.
“Here’s The Thing” is about this crazy little world we live in and how we are all trying to keep it together, get it together and do it together. I’m bound and determined to help people and make this world a better place in spite of the people trying to ruin it. On a side note, my life is an OPEN BOOK and “here’s the thing:” I’m not afraid to read from it!
You can find me on Spotify, Amazon, Apple and iHeart radio! Take a listen and follow along, and don’t be afraid to send me a message or comment on my podcast. I value your opinion!
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in life is NOT TO MAKE IMPORTANT DECISIONS when you’re mad or upset! You need a clear, focused mind in order to make any important decisions, wouldn’t you agree?
My friend posted the picture below and I just had to share it because it’s funny and it’s true! How many times have you made a decision when you weren’t feeling quite like yourself, only to regret it later?
I can name quite a few “not so good” decisions I have made over the years when I was in a bad mood. How about you?
Here’s to bad decisions that we can laugh at! They’re the best kind, especially when it involves your hair! LOL!
News sure travels fast when a person wants to spread it.
It’s similar to the movie, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” in which each life touches another in a positive way except this type of gossip is in reverse and with a much different outcome. Each story and negative opinion that they share with other people touches another in a hurtful way once it’s been found out.
I call it “The Domino Effect” of gossip. We’re all dominoes strategically positioned in such a way that the person that pushes the first one does so knowing how to take down the rest.
The difference is that we’re not dominoes, we’re human beings that trusted a person who broke that trust by sharing our intimate conversations and their opinions with other people. Most often, we don’t even know that they’re doing it until we hear about it.
Do we tell the people that are the topic of the gossip, knowing that it will hurt their feelings? I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but then again, isn’t that how we can protect them from gossip?
What do we dominoes do without lowering ourselves to their level?
All I can say is to distance yourself from them and if you haven’t already stopped all communication, you probably should be extremely careful in what you say to them.
Everyone is a loser here, and the biggest loser is the person spreading it all. After all, nothing good comes from idle gossip.
I say that we “dominoes” should leave it alone because I truly believe that what we put out into this world will inevitably come back to us. It’s only a matter of time before the hand pushing the dominoes is seen for who they are.
Don’t be one of the pieces in “The Domino Effect” of gossip.
Did you ever go looking for something and find something else instead? I did just that the other day and what wonderful memories it brought back.
I went looking for a particular item in my closet and opened a random box. Inside were quite a few mementos and then, there she was, my pink Ipod! I knew that I had kept it but haven’t seen it in a million years!
I ordered a charger, plugged it in, and guess what? It worked and there, right in front of me, were all of the songs that I listened to back in 2002 or 2003! She definitely showed signs of wear and tear from all the times I used her but still, it was amazing how many memories came flooding back.
I remembered the day I got it. It was on April 27, 2002 or 2003, one of my kids’ birthdays. My then husband gave it to me with a beautiful inscription on the back. Suddenly, I was back in time.
I remembered having it with me as I walked the Spring Lake, New Jersey boardwalk at 5:30 in the morning every day. I remember it being strapped to my left arm as I worked out at the gym. I remembered listening to it as I cooked breakfast for my five beautiful children and I remembered how much joy it brought me.
Today as I scroll through my playlists I can remember what each one meant to me and the times I played them. I can vividly see those days, hear the sounds and smell the scents.
I can smell the ocean as I walk on the boardwalk to the sounds of Matchbox Twenty. I can remember sitting on the beach with my coffee afterwards listening to Anita Baker and I can remember working on the weight machines at my gym listening to the music of Nirvana.
So many memories and a delightful visit to my past. I know that there were troubles beginning during that time but this tiny little electronic device washed them away for me.
And it washed away the memories of those times now.
You never know what you’ll find when you’re looking for something else.
I found an old friend that reminded me of a happy and simpler time in my life.
Do you know what that picture below represents? It’s the face of a happy person. It’s the face of someone who received or was treated with kindness from another, maybe even a stranger. Can you imagine what the world would look like if we lived in a sea of smiles? I think that it would be absolutely beautiful.
Who wants to join me in making a commitment to spread kindness wherever we go? Who wants to join me in trying to share an act of kindness with someone every day?Who wants to join me in putting in the effort to make this world a better place?
If you’re in, type “yes” below or share a comment.
All of you that follow me are amazing and I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without your love and support and I am so grateful for each and every one of you.
And today I offer my kindness to all of you by telling you just that, because it’s the truth.
Here’s to happy faces and happy people made possible by all of us that want to make this world a better place.
I’m feeling a little sad this morning. It’s not a sadness that has to do with any one thing, but an overall sadness about the lack of kindness and empathy in the world.
I’m feeling sad for the people who are cruel and abusive to others. They must have the lowest of self-esteem and more insecurities than can be counted. They must be so jealous and envious of another that they have to try and ruin that person’s
life.
There must be a reason for such a person to exist.
Did someone teach them that a person deserves to be treated badly just because they’re mad at them or don’t like them?
Did someone teach them that it was fine to speak abusively to another human being and then move on happily with their day without remorse?
Did someone teach them that they are the most important person in the world and that no one else matters or has value?
Somewhere along the way, they were taught these behaviors or were allowed to behave that way. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter because no one has the right to be abusive or cruel to another, period!
Everyone has a choice to change and I have found that these types of people never do change because they truly believe that they don’t need to.
Today I’m sad for a brief moment, saying a prayer for them, wishing them love and light and letting them go.
You can’t save people like that and you’ll never change them, no matter how kind you are, no matter how much you try and help them, and no matter how hard you try to communicate how their behavior affects you. They will always feel that they have the right to treat people how they want because they believe that they deserve it.
Walk away from the darkness of negative people and surround yourself with those standing in the light of positivity.
And now, I let go of that brief amount of sadness and move forward with my day trying to be the best person that I can, spreading a little kindness wherever the day takes me.
There are some people that are just born “trouble makers.” Do you know the type that I’m speaking about? I know it all too well because I’ve been dealing with them my entire life yet they have taught me some very valuable lessons.
As an empath I can feel the pain of others and have the gift of being able to understand how they feel and why they act the way that they do, but just because I’m able to do that does NOT mean that their behavior is justified.
I used to teach my kids that “bullies” were mean because they were insecure, jealous or had low self-esteem. I taught them that it was their feelings about themselves that made them mean to others. As an adult, I don’t use the term “bully,” but use the correct term of “abuser and/or narcissist.”
I battled breast cancer and won, but battling a narcissist? That’s a battle for which there is no chemo or radiation to try and cure it. It’s a battle that is not fought to win, in fact, it’s a battle that NO ONE should enter into. I have studied and researched narcissism for years and have lived through many years of dealing with one. I’m learning that less interaction with them is best. They will turn it on you every time and play the victim and the martyr. They are hurtful people with not a stitch of remorse or compassion to be found in their being.
The people who truly matter in your life are the ones who love you for who you are. They support you and stand by you. They are the ones that bring you joy when they’re around and would never intentionally hurt you.
No one has the right to hurt another person. You are a unique and amazing human being and deserve love, respect and compassion.
Cut ties with any narcissists that are taking up space in your life and draining your beautiful energy. They don’t deserve your time and you don’t deserve their abuse.
Shine bright, my loves, because your light will always shine through the darkness!
I was upset when I went to bed late last night and tossed and turned for
hours. My heart was hurting terribly and I just couldn’t shut off the thoughts running through my head. I gave in and let the tears flow, asking myself why it all happened? Why do people intentionally hurt one another?
It was then I decided to have a long chat with God and the Universe. I begged for an answer as to why this happened and to understand why it hurt so much. I prayed for a sign.
I decided to turn off my phone in the morning and have my coffee on the lanai and I’m grateful that I did. I looked to my left and saw this beautiful rainbow. There was no rain in sight and rainbows never appeared in that part of the sky. They’re always to the right of me.
And just like that, there was my sign. The rainbow is a sign of promise, hope and love and I really needed the reminder this morning. It was a sign that God and the Universe were very much present in my life and that I wasn’t alone.
Did I get my answer as to why the pain of last night happened? No, but after seeing that rainbow I know that the answer will come in time, just as time will heal my hurting heart.
Anne Dennish - Writer/Author 