“Some Days And Other Days”

There are some days you just want to give up and give in. You’re tired of the drama and negativity that other people are bringing into your life, you’re exhausted from trying to escape it and them, and you feel helpless because you feel as though you have no control over anything. There are some days you feel sad for every reason and for no reason, you cry because you’re eyes need to let out the tears, and you feel tired even though you had a good night’s sleep.

Those are the “some days.”

But how about the “other days?”

The days you watch a beautiful sunrise with your morning coffee or spend time with your loved ones as you watch a spectacular sunset.

The days that you see all the beautiful people, places and things that surround you and know that you are blessed.

The days that you check off all the things on your to-do list and feel a sense of accomplishment.

The days that you walk away from the people that cause you drama and know that it’s their problem, not yours.

The days that you smile “just because,” laugh because it feels good and dance because no one and every one is watching!

The days that you’re overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers and believe that there truly is good in this world.

The days that you know that you made a positive difference in someone’s life and in the world.

The days that you wake up grateful to have another day to live your best life.

The “some days” will  happen now and again, but it’s those “other days” that help us get through them and send them on their way.

I love those “other days.”

Don’t you?

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

some days

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“The Messengers of Drama”

“Don’t shoot the messenger.”

I’ve never liked that quote because I don’t believe that there should be a messenger, and most times when there is it’s because of a negative person and situation. It’s the “messenger of drama.”

If you have something to say to someone then say it to their face. Why involve a third party to continue your drama and feed into your lies? If you truly believe your message, then make it your truth, stand in it, and deliver directly to the person it’s intended for. Don’t be a coward and use someone else to do your dirty work.

I’m a believer that if you have something to say to me, good or bad, then say it to me, not to anyone who’s willing to listen and please do not send a “third party messenger” to say it.  I believe that if you can’t say it to me, it’s because there’s no truth to what you’re saying in the first place.

I’m sure we’ve all had a “messenger” come knocking at our door at least once in our lifetime and from my experience, the messenger is simply a pawn in someone else’s game of drama. 

Stay out of the tornado of drama, don’t answer the door to the messenger, and if the true message is given from the source then take it from where it comes from: someone’s insecurity, judgement and jealousy. 

What would we gain if we stood in our truth and didn’t play into the game of “messengers and drama?”

“Peace.”

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

In-a-world-of-truth

“No Response Is A Powerful Response”

I love conversation and communication, as most who know me would tell you, yet sometimes situations arise in which communication is NOT key. And it’s not key because of the person provoking the situation. I believe that we are in control of our lives, of how we feel,  how we react or respond, and who we allow in our circle. We try and live our best life by setting healthy boundaries, yet there are those who don’t respect the boundaries we make. They cross the line and do as they please. They gossip, they spread lies and they try and make your life miserable. It’s “disrespect” at its’ finest.

So now what?

I used to believe that communication with someone crossing the line was key, yet there are those that want you to do that because it fuels their drama and truth be told, you’re giving them what they want: your attention.

And I made a choice not to give my attention to someone who doesn’t deserve it. It’s a waste of my precious time and filled with negative energy, and in the end, most times, there is no resolution.

I’ve learned that the best thing for me to do is NOT give the situation and the person my precious time and energy; life is too short to be wasted on the drama that another person causes. It’s their insecurities and jealousy that cause them to behave in that way.

I agree that “no response is a powerful response.” 

I’ll communicate with the people important to me, but I will not engage with someone who isn’t. 

I can’t control the drama that someone else is trying to cause in my life, but I can control how I respond.

And my response is “no response.”

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

no response 1

“Listen To How They Treat You”

the way a person treats you

“There’s a message in the way a person treats you…just listen.”

It’s the saying I absolutely believe in: “actions speak louder than words.”

All those loving, positive words you speak to someone are only truthful when the actions back them up.

All those negative, hurtful words you speak to someone are truth. It’s how someone honestly feels about you because when you truly love someone you wouldn’t say things you know that would hurt them. And trust me, those words will stay with them for a lifetime.

If you really love someone, be it your significant other, friend, family or child, why would you say something hurtful to them? You can’t take those words back and if you said them you must have meant them. And if you didn’t mean them then why did you say them? Just to hurt them because you can? To push them away? Or maybe you use those words to put them in their place as a way to control them.

Think about why you say things to hurt someone you love. No human being has the right to hurt another, especially someone who loves you. It could be that you don’t really love them, that you don’t understand love, or that love is nothing more than a matter of convenience to you. And know this: each time you say hurtful words to someone you love you bruise their heart and that heart begins to shut down little by little.

We’re all human and none of us are perfect. We get annoyed sometimes, we get angry, we get cranky…that’s okay, we all have moments like that, but it’s NOT okay to hurt someone you love. It’s NOT okay to make them feel like your bad mood is their fault because it’s not, it’s yours. And it’s NOT okay to think you have the right to say hurtful words to someone because you want to.

We have choices in all areas of our life, especially in our relationships. You have a choice of which words you use, you have a choice in the tone of your voice when you say them, and you have a choice to talk things through calmly with the one you love instead of being mean and hurtful.

And you have a choice to walk away.

You have a bad day? Work getting to you? Are you unhappy? Did someone make you angry or hurt your feelings?

We all rough days now and then, but understand that it’s not fair or right to take YOUR rough day out on another.

Think about what you’re feeling and why…

Don’t take it out on someone who loves you…

Don’t bruise the heart of someone who truly loves you..

And remember that their feelings are just as important as yours…

Be kind or be quiet.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“What” Is Not As Important As “Why”

what 2

“What’s” happened to you in your life isn’t as important as “why” it happened. ~AD~

We all experience some difficult situations in our life and I’ve come to accept and understand that the “what” that’s happened to me isn’t as important as  the“why” that it did.

We’re so quick to blame others for our difficult times, yet we have a hand in those situations as well. Perhaps we aren’t being our authentic self or standing in our truth to those around us. Maybe we change “who” we are according to the people we are around at a particular moment. I can tell you that I’ve learned that I am in control of what I allow to happen to me and it’s up to me to set healthy boundaries for my highest good…and it’s not always easy to do.

I had breast cancer and it can’t always be prevented, yet I could have had a mammogram sooner than I had; I went 5 years without one and only had one done when I found my tumor. So while this “what” may have been destined to happen to me, the “why” it happened when it did was because I wasn’t loving myself enough to get that mammogram every year like I should have. I know better now.

I’ve lived through divorce and a bad relationship. The “what” that caused an ending to these relationships isn’t as important as the “why” it happened. It happened because I was allowing those people to treat me in a way I didn’t deserve. What you allow will continue and it did for me until I realized I deserved better and decided to stop it.

And I’ve lived through emotional, verbal and physical abuse. It went on for years until I finally put an end to it. “What” was said and done to me isn’t as important as “why” it was done to me. It happened because I let it happen. I wasn’t as strong as I am now, my self-esteem was non-existent, and I blamed myself for causing all those things that were said and done to me then. I was at the bottom and when I finally decided that enough was enough, I pulled myself up off the floor and began to see clearly of the “why” it happened. I began to get stronger day by day and set up boundaries that were never again to be crossed by anyone, and if they were, I certainly recognized it sooner. It happened because I let it, not because I deserved it. It was yet another life lesson for me to learn.

You have to love yourself, respect yourself, and know that you don’t deserve to be treated badly by anyone, especially by yourself. Let’s face it, we’re all masters of self-sabotage at times…we can hurt ourselves better than the person who is hurting us. Yet that’s not the way it should be; you know that as well as I do.

It’s time we all, myself included, stop focusing on the “what” that happened to us and start looking deep within ourselves to see our truth of the“why” it happened.

It’s then that we learn and grow and move forward into the life we want and deserve.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“How A Heart Breaks”

breaking a heart

We’ve all had our hearts broken a time or two in this lifetime and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: it doesn’t suddenly break. It’s takes time to break it.

And do you know why a heart breaks?

It’s because someone has been chipping away at it over and over again.

And when most of the heart has been chipped away there’s not much left to hold it together and one day it breaks altogether.

And it can and will never be repaired to the heart it once was. Only the broken hearted can heal their heart and in time, their heart will heal and be stronger than the heart that had been broken.

There’s all type of abuse out there but nothing will chip away at a heart more than verbal and emotional abuse. Those are the worst and I know it for fact because I’ve been the person on the other side of it more times than I can count. It’s a difficult and long process to heal, but it is possible, because I’ve done it, and I’ve done it more than once.

I’m going to be honest about this subject because I can speak from personal experience.

Words and actions hurt. They chip away at a heart that loves someone so much that they allow it to happen, at least until the day they’ve had enough. And the day that happens is long after the heart has been chipped away at until it breaks; that day is when that person gets strong and rebuilds their damaged heart.

And that is the day they’ve had enough.

It’s the day they’ve seen the truth of the person who treats them that way.

And it’s the day that they realize their value and we all have value. No one deserves to be treated badly, even the ones who treat others badly.

Love doesn’t hurt the heart; harsh words and behaviors do.

Words last forever.

The pain the words caused will never be forgotten.

And a once whole, happy, loving person will break apart.

Until they pick themselves up and put themselves back together.

There are some who don’t realize just how hurtful their words and actions can be to someone they love, especially when that person still sees good in them and still loves them. But the day will come after countless conversations between the two people of how badly they’ve been hurt and how much damage it causes to their heart…and to their soul.

It’s the day the heart has been chipped away at over and over again that it breaks.

The good news is that a heart that breaks is proof that it works. It’s proof that you have a heart that loves with abandon, loves another with all that they are, and loves unconditionally. The bad news is that that kind of heart will break when the person they love doesn’t have the same kind of heart.

They have a heart that controls, a heart that can only love so much, and a heart that doesn’t know how to love unconditionally.

Hearts that have been chipped at over time will eventually break, but they also will be given the chance to heal into a stronger heart, a smarter heart, and a heart that knows what they deserve and what they don’t. And it will learn to never settle for less than what they deserve.

Choose your words carefully. Keep your bad day to yourself. Leave work at the office. Don’t take your frustrations out on another. And cherish the ones that love you unconditionally with a beautiful heart. Once you chip away at their heart enough you’ll break it, and while everything is forgivable, it’s very rarely repairable.

Remember that.

And ask yourself these very important questions: How would you feel if the person you love treated you the way you treat them? How would you feel if they chipped away at your heart? How would you feel if they were telling you that you were always wrong and that they were always right?

You are in control of your actions towards someone you love.

Choose your words carefully because once you’ve said them you can’t take them back.

It’s never too late to change.

And positive change is a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“You Are Beautiful…No Matter What They Say”

I’m always honest with all of you that follow me and I’m going to be honest now. You’ve all become “friends” to me with all your support and comments which I appreciate more than I can say.

I share my personal experiences with all of you in the hopes to make a difference to someone, yet there are moments in my life that it isn’t all sunshine and roses, as I’m sure yours isn’t at times.

So I’m going to get personal and honest with all of you: I’ve had a bad week. A really bad week.

I’ve gone through a few situations this week that hurt my heart so deeply that I’m having a difficult time getting past it…yet I know I will in time.

I have to process what’s happened, try to understand why, and figure out the lesson in it for me. Heartache happens to teach us something…and now it’s trying to teach me something.

I know what to do because I’m always telling all of you how to get through rough times…I’ve been down this road before and I know it’s a difficult journey, yet I know the process I have to go through to get to a better place.

I need to remind myself that anyone who hurts my heart did so because of their own issues. Some people hurt others because they’re feeling hurt themselves, or because they need to have that control, or because they’re simply abusive. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make it right.

And I let them do it.

And sometimes we just don’t know how to stop them from doing it, which is why I believe to my toes that if someone treats you that way you have to wish them love and light and let them go.

And it’s not easy.

So, yes, I’m feeling hurt this week and trying to figure out why it all happened and how to handle it.

 

And I have to remind myself that it’s not my fault, it’s theirs.

And you need to remember that as well and repeat this to yourself as often as you have to: “It’s not my fault.”

We don’t ask people to hurt us or be mean. We don’t ask people to abuse us verbally or physically. We don’t ask someone to treat us badly.

That’s their choice to do it and our choice to allow it or not.

What we can do is know our worth, know our value and not allow anyone to treat us badly.

We need to remind ourselves that we’re beautiful, lovable and important.

And they need to be reminded that “their words can bring us down.”

And they need to understand that hurtful words can be forgiven, but they will never be forgotten.

I’m as human as anyone else and wanted to share this piece of my life with you.

In the end, I’ll be fine.

It’s a process.

I guess you could say that “Anne Dennish” has another life lesson to learn!

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

beautiful

“Time To Shift”

When you replace “why is this happening to me” with “what is this trying to teach me?” everything shifts.

And that’s truth.

So often we find ourselves in situations that upset us and our first thought is always “why is this happening to me?”

And the answer is always the same: “Life is trying to teach you something about yourself.”

Now the work begins. You need to look long and hard at the situation and think about how and why it happened.

Did someone say something hurtful to you? Did someone make you cry? Did someone point a finger of blame at your for being who you are?

If the answer to any of these questions is “yes” then you need to still your mind, take a deep breath and ask yourself “why?”

And the answer to this is always the same: “Because you let them.”

You let them treat you less than your worth.

And what you allow will continue.

It always does.

And that’s what the situation is about. It’s not randomly happening TO YOU, it’s happening FOR YOU…the Universe is trying to teach you a life lesson. It’s asking you the tough questions: “Why would you let someone treat you like that?”

Most of us don’t know how to answer that except to make excuses for their bad behavior. It’s having a false hope that it won’t happen again and that they really didn’t mean it. It’s a false hope of believing that the person will change. It’s a false hope that they’ll say they’re sorry and mean it.

I’ve been in that position more times in this lifetime than I can count but I’ve grown as a person, become stronger, and believe that those moments of pain and heartache aren’t my fault. After all, no one does anything intentionally to another human being in the hopes that they’ll hurt you. Yet, it happens and I’ve learned that it’s happened because of their feelings, not mine. It could be their insecurities coming through, or it could simply be that they truly meant what they said. Only that person can answer that question.

And only you can answer the question of why you let it happen.

And only you can figure out the lesson it was trying to teach you.

Most often times those situations happen to remind us that we’re important, that we count, and that we are valuable.

They happen to remind us to love ourselves more, to be kind to ourselves and respect ourselves.

And they happen to remind us that we should always be kind, and if we can’t then we should be quiet. They remind us that no one should treat another human being badly, not matter the excuse or reason for the bad behavior. They remind us that we all have a heart and soul that can be easily broken, and when another human being breaks them it takes time and effort for the healing to begin.

And the healing begins with YOU when you understand the lesson that life hit you with.

And only you can change the situation.

And only you can stop allowing those experience to happen.

Forget about “why this is happening to you” and shift your focus and energy to “what is this trying to teach me?”

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

what is this trying to teach me