Waking Up

“Down For The Count”

/ Anne Dennish / 1 Comment

sick-1

It’s that time of year again: flu and cold season! Not one of my favorites, yet one I feel that can happen to us for a reason. And that reason is usually that we lost sight of taking care of ourselves.

And that’s when the Universe steps in and “whacks you with a two by four!”

I consider myself “whacked.” It started with aches and pains, then progressed into a burning in the back of my throat. By the time I went to sleep was nose was completely stuffed up and I became the ultimate “mouth breather” throughout the night. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep too well that night. And it’s safe to say without a doubt, “I’m sick.”

I know it could be worse; social media is awash with posts of the flu and colds and the duration of anywhere from a week to two or three. I can safely add my own experience to these posts as well. People are posting advice of cures and things to do to get through, and I can say that I’ve been trying them all.

For two days I’ve been drinking warm water with lemon, which helps to soothe the throat, and tons of green tea with honey and lemon to get rid of the cold. Chicken soup with tons of garlic has become a staple here. A jar of Vicks, an old home remedy from my grandmother, hot-toddysits on my nightstand, as well as a now half-full box of tissues. I’ve tried over-the-counter medicine at night, which seemed to help, but what helped more was a nice hot toddy: 8 oz. of herbal tea with 2 oz. of whiskey or rum, as well as a lemon slice for good measure. Sweeten with honey. I have to say, within minutes after drinking that I found myself drifting into an amazing, restful sleep, one that was much better than from the over-the-counter nighttime medicine.

I’ve been down for three days now, and it seems that the rest of my household felt the need to join me. We’re all sick with this nasty little cold. I always believe that “sharing is caring” and I guess they didn’t want me to feel left out!

I’ll be honest, I knew it was just a matter of time before I got sick with something. I lost sight of myself and wasn’t taking as good of care of myself as I was at taking care of everyone else. I was running around too much in rainy, cold weather; I wasn’t eating as well as I should; and I definitely wasn’t sleeping well at all. All those things mixed in with a few more are a recipe for the Universe stopping you in your tracks and making you pay attention to YOURSELF!

I knew that’s what happened, so I turned off my phone, put on my pajamas, and went to bed. I decided that as much as I wanted to be there for other’s that right now I needed to be there for me. I needed to sleep, rest, and place my efforts on getting better. Sure, the housework is piling up, but I know that my health, my body and soul, are much more important right now.

And as much as I don’t like being sick, I have to be grateful for the time that I am because it has forced me into resting and taking care of myself, something I wasn’t doing much of until I was forced to.

“Thank you, Universe, for this gift of making me remember that I’m important, too, and that if I’m not doing things for my Highest Good, I’ll be no good to anyone else. I’ve learned my lesson…you can take this cold and move along now!”

Wishing you love, light, and good health,

~Anne Dennish~

sick

“The Home In My Heart”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

 

home-is-where

A beating heart is a most precious gift, yet the heart is so much more. Our heart is our home.

I lived in a house for over twenty years with my five children. I moved five years ago and the worst part of it all was that I was saddened by the loss of all that we had in that house, the good times and the bad. It was filled with memories and pencil marks on the wall marking the kid’s height as they grew. It held the sounds of babies crying that grew into the sounds of teenagers laughing. It held everything that was important to me. It held one of the biggest parts of my life.

Yet then I realized that all that I believed  had been living in that house was actually living in my heart and that “my heart is my home.”

The heart is the keeper of our dreams and accomplishments; the guardian of our precious memories; it’s the lens to all those pictures in our minds and the teacher of all that we’ve learned. It holds our deepest secrets and our biggest truths. It holds all that is and all that will be.

My house was a just a building made up of walls, windows and doors, yet it was my heart that filled it with all that it needed to become a “home.”

And  that home lives in my heart.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Love Me Through It”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

love-you-through-it

The seas of life have been rough lately and I find myself trying to ride the waves. I’m patiently waiting for the swells to subside to a calm surf, yet it’s hard to see through the spray. It’s at that moment that I know I need to get a little help and advice from someone I can always count on to weather the storm with me: my love.

He’s one of the most no-nonsense, upfront and direct people I know. He doesn’t skirt around the issue; he attacks it head on. He doesn’t tolerate drama; he ignores it. And when he finds out that what he believed to be true isn’t, he moves on and leaves those people behind.

And he’s my “voice of reason” when I find myself in situations that mentally and emotionally drain me and upset me. He’s the guy that reminds me that I can’t fix anyone, solve their problems, or change their perspective. He’s the guy that tells me that he knows how much I want to help some people, but some people don’t really want the help, just the attention. And he reminds not to let “their” problem become “my” problem, because eventually it will become “our” problem. I have to admit it: he’s right!

So in the midst of a conversation this weekend with my love, one in which I asked his advice and “words of wisdom” about, he said something absolutely beautiful to me, and it’s what he said that prompted me to write this piece.

He said that while he can’t take away my hurt, he can “love me through it.”

What a simple, yet profound thing to say. We can’t fix anyone who’s hurting, but we can certainly be there for them to love them through it.

And I have to say, the hurt seems a bit less and the healing a bit easier when you’re blessed to have someone who will “love you through it.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“It’s A New Day”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

Every so often someone will tell me that they had a “bad day,” and sometimes I find myself saying it as well. Yet in the grand scheme of life, is there really a bad day? Sure, not every day goes as we had planned or hoped. We receive bad news, we struggle with problems not of our own, we find ourselves drained, both emotionally and physically. I guess that can justify being a “bad day.”

I know I’ve had much more of my share in the last month, yet I have to keep reminding myself to be grateful for even the bad days, because truth is, we had another day, whether it was good or bad.

We were gifted yet another day of life, and another day to “do it better than the day before.”

Embrace all your days and make the most of them. Be grateful for another day to spend with your loved ones. Wake up in the morning knowing that anything is possible, and count your blessings from the day as you go to sleep at night.

You just need to have faith and believe.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

new-day-this-one

“Waking Up – The Music Video”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

It’s not very often that we do something so out of the box, something we never thought we’d do. But I did. I made a music video to go along with the first song I wrote, “Waking Up.” Sutton Thomas wrote the music and recorded it, and it was that song that started it all and ended up being a CD!  It’s amazing where the dream of writing my book, “Waking Up” led to music and lyrics! That was one that wasn’t even on my bucket list!

It started when I saw a post on Facebook by a high school friend, Trevor Halbert. He was sharing out a music video his daughter had filmed and produced. I was blown away at her talent, and decided to get in touch with her. I was even more amazed when I realized she was just a senior in high school! So, I met with Amanda Halbert, along with her friend and video partner, Brent Luciano, who film under their name LVL 5 Films.

I was so impressed at the passion they both had for what they love to do: make videos! They film them, edit them, produce them…these two do it all. I was happy to work with them both, because I understand passion and creativity and nothing pleased me more than to give them another opportunity to do what they love!

amanda

As a creative person, I realize how important it is to support the creativity of others, whether they’re artists, musicians, or writers. Creative people understand one another and can see the vision that can be made in front of them. I found that in weeks of filming with Amanda and Brent. They shared their vision of what they wanted to do for me, and I shared mine with them. Together we understood one another and I was happy when Amanda sent me this video yesterday.

Amanda and Brent wanted this first video to depict “a day in the life of Anne Dennish” and I wanted it to resemble a “book trailer” for my book, “Waking Up” Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer.” I’d say they brought those two concepts together quite nicely!

I hope you enjoy this very first music video and see first hand the creative talents of Amanda and Brent! Much love and thanks to both of them…it was a pleasure and an honor to work with such talented young people!

 

My love recently lost his cousin, someone we both were very close to and loved very much. We wanted to dedicate this to him:

“This one’s for you, Tommy!”  1956-2016

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Are You An Enabler?”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

Enabling is “making excuses for someone who is hurting themselves or you, or providing the perfect environment or situation for them to do so. enable-2

That word is a slippery slope for many, and if you are someone who “enables” someone else, then you become “co-dependent.” That is, your existence is based around the behavior of the person you are enabling.

It’s exhausting just thinking about it, yet we’ve all done it in some capacity in our lives; until we realize that the outcome of “enabling” and being “co-dependent” doesn’t’ serve the one we’re enabling, but serves only the “co-dependents” need to control. I’ve found that those who “enable” have no control over their own lives’, or so they believe. They would rather control someone else’s life rather than deal with their own insecurities and lack of control. And the sad part is, they don’t even see what they’re doing as control; they see it as “love.” Yet that’s not love. Controlling someone is not love. Enabling someone to hurt themselves or other’s is not love. It’s their insecurity and lack of control.

You can enable an alcoholic or drug addict by making excuses for them, giving reasons for their addiction, and without realizing that you  are giving them exactly what they need to use or abuse. It may make you feel more comfortable, yet is the most damaging and enable-3hurtful behavior to them.They can only begin recovery when you stop enabling and allow the to be accountable for themselves.

You enable an abusive partner or spouse by making excuses as to why you’re bruised, why your self-esteem is but a foreign concept, and why you deserved to be abused. You’re not helping the abuser to stop, but merely giving him the license and free will to do so. It’s only when you get strong and secure within yourself that you’re able to break free and control YOUR behavior, not theirs.

 

It’s not until you are faced with the ultimate decision: enable the behavior or disable your control. And the truth is, no enabler really has control over the enabled; you just give them a comfort zone of knowing you’ve allowed their destructive behavior to be okay.enable

It’s hard to let someone you love make a mistake or willingly harm themselves, yet it has to be their choice and, ultimately, their decision to stop the destructive behavior. You can say all the right things, do all the right things, and want all the right things, yet that doesn’t make it so. You have to “love them enough to let them go.” Love them enough to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Love them enough to learn to control their own behavior. Love them enough to let them learn to love themselves.

“Enabling” someone will not solve their problem; it will make their problem worse.

You have to ask yourself: Do I want to enable their behavior or disable my control?.

And in your heart you already know the right answer.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

recite-l46b1a

“The New Year Revelations”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

2017-blog

I gave up on making New Year resolutions years ago, and replaced them with what I call my “New Year’s Revelations.” It’s all the things I learned throughout the year that I will carry into the new year with me, in the hopes that I don’t make the same mistakes. In other words, my New Year’s Revelations are my “waking up” moments of seeing the truth in myself and others’, of learning from my mistakes, and learning more about myself.

I use New Year’s Eve as my time of reflection back onto the year that is about to end. I look back at all that happened, good and bad. It’s a time to count my blessings of the year, and to be sure that I had many more gains than losses. It’s a time to look back at where I may have fallen short and try to understand why. It’s a time to look back at relationships that ended with honesty and respect, and of letting them go. It’s taking my accountability for the ending, and moving on with no regrets and no intentions of ever going back.

It’s the night I say good-bye to all those people, places and things that no longer serve my highest good; that didn’t bring out the best in me; that caused me stress and heartache; that took advantage of me. And then I look at why it happened. Did I allow boundaries to be crossed? Did I allow their behaviors that hurt me? Did I put myself in a situation that broke me in two? And when I can answer that with an open and honest truth of “yes,” I can then begin to understand and see the lesson in it.

I learned many things this year, and I’d like to share a few with you. These are my top “waking up” moments, or “revelations,” if you will:

  • I learned that the old saying “keep your friends close and your enemies even closer” is an absolute lie! Nothing good comes from surrounding yourself with people who are negative and toxic, manipulative and untrustworthy. If you think you’re an enemy of someone, or they are an enemy to you, definitely keep them far away!
  • I learned that the other old saying “you always hurt the ones you love” may be truth, but not such a good idea. Trust me, hurting the ones you love will not serve you well.
  • I always knew how precious life was, especially having survived breast cancer, yet this year after losing some very special people in my life I’ve realized just how precious it is. No day is promised, and if you have a chance to spend time with those you love, do it! You may miss out on a chance that you’ll never get back.
  • I learned to say I love you to the ones’ I love more often, and to hug them all tighter.
  • I learned that if something seems too good to be true, most often times, it is.
  • I learned that if I do anything for the wrong reasons, I’ll soon learn those “wrong reasons” the hard way.
  • That no matter what anyone says, I will always be a dreamer and will always dream big! Why would anyone settle for less
  • And my biggest “revelation” was that I need to stand up for myself more, speak my truth always, and walk away from people or situations that are not good for me.

All in all, the past year has been filled with more “ups” than “downs,” and while a few people have had to leave my life, a few more amazing ones’ walked in. I know for sure that when you get rid of anything negative or toxic, you open the door to the positive coming in, and that’s what I did this past year, hard as some of it may have been.

As I close out 2016, I say good-bye to a few close friends and family that passed on, and I know in my heart I now have some amazing guardian angels watching over me. My heart has hurt over their passing, but the joy and love that they left me with has helped me through

the-godfather

RIP Tom Contreras  1956-2016

I’ve said good-bye to a few friends who were no longer welcome in my circle, yet they taught me what true friends are…and aren’t. I’m grateful for the lessons they taught me.

And as I get ready to welcome in the year of 2017, I look towards it with the promise of more dreams to catch, more life to celebrate, and more adventures to begin. I look forward to another year with my love and all the joy he’s brought into my life, and to another year of our life together growing as one.

To all of you, I wish you adventure, dreams come true, love, light and all the good that you are willing to receive. Happy New Year and may your “New Year’s Revelation” be your guide into this New Year of 2017!

Live your life to the fullest…live your life in love…live your life!

And make it absolutely amazing!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

us-1

Happy New Year from my love and I to all of you!

“The Wrong And The Right”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

“The wrong person wants something FROM you;
the right person wants everything FOR you.”

~Anne Dennish~

It doesn’t matter if it’s a budding romance, a committed relationship, a marriage or a friendship, being with the “right” person is key to its’ success and happiness.

We all have a choice of who we surround ourselves with, so please, my friends, choose wisely. Don’t allow the “wrong” people to drain you of your energy and self-esteem. Surround yourself with the light of the “right” person; the one who see’s you and all that you are and all that you can be; the one who supports your dreams and ideas; the one who wants only the best for you.

Choose the people who want all the best for you.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

rightandwrong

“Sad Souls”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

 

I sometimes see and speak with  people who seem to carry such a sadness about themselves and their lives. I call them the “sad souls,” and I understand where they’re coming from because I was there once myself.

They are the ones with a sadness so deep that they don’t know how to get out; they don’t understand that there’s always a way out and a path up.

They are the souls who have been hurt, abused, and been broken to  a point that they believe they can never be healed or whole again, that the damage is irreparable. They are the ones whose hearts have been broken, souls have been torn to shreds, and the ones who evil preyed upon.

They are the ones who have been taken advantage of, the ones who have been used, the ones who have been tormented.

And you know what my opinion is of them?

They will become the strongest, the most trustworthy, the ones who will take their experience and use it to be sure it never happens to others. They will be the ones who are gifted the ability to change themselves and change the world; they are the fallen angels who will rise to grace and dignity; they are the souls that bear the greatest hurt yet possess the most strength to overcome it.

Yet they don’t always see that…until they are meant to.

“Sad souls” are born to become “strong and happy souls,” yet the only way they can become this is by living the trauma, healing from it, and rising above it. It is then that they possess the greatness that they were gifted with at birth: the gift of “chance.”

They have to the chance to heal, to change, to discover, to become strong, and most importantly, the chance to change the world and those in it, including themselves. They are the believers, the optimists, the dreamers, and the fallen, and when you combine all of those things, you will see the soul that was meant for greatness.

“Sad souls” were gifted sadness for a reason, and that reason is that they were chosen for this purpose in life, because a Higher Power knew that the journey of their recovery would bring strength and goodness to them and to the world.

“Sad souls” were not born to be sad for eternity; they were born with a purpose of sadness that would breed greatness. They were born to be sad to learn, to experience, to heal, and to fly to a level of integrity and wisdom that would become a gift to those that surround them…and inevitably, would become a gift to the world.

There’s always hope…if you just believe there is!

Wishing you love, light and happiness,

~Anne Dennish~

“The Perfect Christmas”

/ Anne Dennish / 1 Comment

Christmas is fast approaching and the countdown is on. Final decorations are being done on and around the house and wish lists of gifts are being bought. It’s another year of making the “perfect Christmas” happen for your family and friends.

Yet is all this preparation what makes it perfect? Will you and yours remember the decorations and gifts? Will you remember the table and the meal?

Or will you remember the “imperfections?”

Will you remember the year that mom’s arm got caught inside the turkey as she was taking the giblets out? Will you remember the year you broke your arm on Christmas Eve only to wake up to a new skateboard the next day? Will you remember the year the entire family had the stomach virus and all camped out in the living room? Will you remember your sister running down the stairs on Christmas morning only to miss the bottom step?

You see, it’s the “imperfections” that make it perfect. It’s not the matching Christmas pajamas and the family Christmas cards, it’s the family. It’s not the beautifully set Christmas table with a delicious dinner, it’s the people who sit around it.

While “perfection” can be captured in a picture, it’s the “imperfections” which are captured in your heart. They become the stories shared and passed down to other generations. They become the tradition of storytelling and the legacy for our children.

As the years pass, so does the idea of the “perfect” Christmas, and as we grow older, we begin to realize that what means the most is the memory of the “imperfections” and the loved ones who were part of them. Life changes, children move away, and sometimes the many faces that once sat around our table are no longer with us, but their memories, their stories and their love always surrounds us.

And sometimes we forget that. I see so many people writing about their sadness in missing the “old days,” yet I think that is such a waste of energy. I know that there are those I’m missing, yet I choose to embrace the memories as stories to share with my children. I choose to embrace this time, these loved ones who are in my life now, and who will be around my table this year.

Memories aren’t meant to bring sadness, they’re meant to bring joy! And for those feeling an ache in their heart, please try and remember the love, the joy, and the memories of those not present this year. They gifted you with all those things and more.

Take a moment during this busy holiday time to remember the “imperfections” of Christmas’ past, and look forward to the “imperfections” to come!

After all, the “perfect Christmas” lives in your heart.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

perfect_christmas