#toxicpeople

“PTSD and Me”

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My heart and soul hurt. It’s a pain that I have no control over because it’s caused by people I love the most: my family.

I understand that I can’t control the behavior of others, but how do you stop them from constantly doing things that they know hurt you? Why do they isolate you from the people you love? Why don’t they care what they’re doing to you?

I was diagnosed with PTSD years ago after a difficult marriage and divorce. I spent years doing what needed to be done to heal myself. It worked, or so I thought. That’s the thing about PTSD; it can come back in an instant and it did.

I used to believe that there is nothing more important than family, but I don’t anymore. It has been close family members that have caused most of the trauma in my life.

Most of my family never really accepted me for who I am. They can’t understand how I can be faced with hard things in life and still remain positive. Their lack of understanding of who I am may be the reason for their behavior towards me.

They prey on my empathetic personality and think nothing of doing what they can to hurt me, and I don’t understand why. I’m no threat to them or anyone else. I’m just this girl who wants to share her experiences with the world in the hopes that someone can relate and know that it will be okay. I’m just this girl that wants to try to change the lives of others and the world for the better. I’m just this girl that tries to teach people that kindness matters and that we are all important.

I have very little contact with these people, yet they know how to get their point across to cause pain.

I’ve always been open about my life and I felt that it was important to do so now. Yes, my PTSD is back and I’m doing what I have to do to heal. I’ve tried to tell one of those family members about how much their behavior hurt me only to be told that I deserved to be treated that way.

No one deserves to be treated badly. No one deserves to be hurt intentionally, and no one deserves to feel worthless because others think that they are. Isn’t there enough pain and heartache going on in the world now? Why be a person who intentionally causes that to others?

I keep telling myself that their behavior towards me is their own insecurities about themselves and that they have to hurt me in order for them to feel good about themselves. They are the narcissists and abusers of the world and sadly, they are part of mine.

I’ve begun my journey of healing. I have to forgive them so that the anger doesn’t continue but I do NOT have to forget what they’ve done to me, and I never will. Unfortunately, family is connected in one way or another so cutting them out of my life is one thing, yet the connection is still there.

This is not the way that I intended to end 2024 yet I have learned so much with all that’s happened

that it’s time to begin 2025 without them.

I’m grateful for the life lessons, painful or not, that have placed me on this journey of healing. I intend to embrace each and every step along the way.

And for any of you going through something similar, I’m here for you. Together we can help each other to heal and hopefully, we can heal the world!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The Domino Effect”

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News sure travels fast when a person wants to spread it. 

It’s similar to the movie, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” in which each life touches another in a positive way except this type of gossip is in reverse and with a much different outcome. Each story and negative opinion that they share with other people touches another in a hurtful way once it’s been found out. 

I call it “The Domino Effect” of gossip. We’re all dominoes strategically positioned in such a way that the person that pushes the first one does so knowing how to take down the rest.

The difference is that we’re not dominoes, we’re human beings that trusted a person who broke that trust by sharing our intimate conversations and their opinions with other people. Most often, we don’t even know that they’re doing it until we hear about it.

Do we tell the people that are the topic of the gossip, knowing that it will hurt their feelings? I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but then again, isn’t that how we can protect them from gossip?

What do we dominoes do without lowering ourselves to their level?

All I can say is to distance yourself from them and if you haven’t already stopped all communication, you probably should be extremely careful in what you say to them. 

Everyone is a loser here, and the biggest loser is the person spreading it all. After all, nothing good comes from idle gossip. 

I say that we “dominoes” should leave it alone because I truly believe that what we put out into this world will inevitably come back to us. It’s only a matter of time before the hand pushing the dominoes is seen for who they are.

Don’t be one of the pieces in “The Domino Effect” of gossip.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Why Are You So Mean?”

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I’m feeling a little sad this morning. It’s not a sadness that has to do with any one thing, but an overall sadness about the lack of kindness and empathy in the world.

I’m feeling sad for the people who are cruel and abusive to others. They must have the lowest of self-esteem and more insecurities than can be counted. They must be so jealous and envious of another that they have to try and ruin that person’s

 life. 

There must be a reason for such a person to exist.

Did someone teach them that a person deserves to be treated badly just because they’re mad at them or don’t like them?

Did someone teach them that it was fine to speak abusively to another human being and then move on happily with their day without remorse?

Did someone teach them that they are the most important person in the world and that no one else matters or has value?

Somewhere along the way, they were taught these behaviors or were allowed to behave that way. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter because no one has the right to be abusive or cruel to another, period!

Everyone has a choice to change and I have found that these types of people never do change because they truly believe that they don’t need to.

Today I’m sad for a brief moment, saying a prayer for them, wishing them love and light and letting them go. 

You can’t save people like that and you’ll never change them, no matter how kind you are, no matter how much you try and help them, and no matter how hard you try to communicate how their behavior affects you. They will always feel that they have the right to treat people how they want because they believe that they deserve it.

Walk away from the darkness of negative people and surround yourself with those standing in the light of positivity.

And now, I let go of that brief amount of sadness and move forward with my day trying to be the best person that I can, spreading a little kindness wherever the day takes me.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Memoir Writing With Anne Dennish – GenZ Podcast

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Take a listen to my latest podcast with GenZ Publishing! Feel free to leave comments or ask questions!

Enjoy!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Love Yourself Enough”

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“Love yourself enough to what’s best for you.”

Try it and watch what happens…

It’s a good thing. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Distance Yourself From Negativity”

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If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

If it doesn’t sound right, don’t listen.

If it makes you feel uneasy, trust your gut.

If it doens’t make you feel good, then walk away.

If it doesn’t bring out the best in you, then leave it behind.

Beautiful things happen when we distance ourselves from negative people and situations; trust your intuition to guide you towards the positive.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The One Word I Despise: Victim”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

I don’t get angry very often and I try not to get upset at someone who says hurtful things to me, but I will tell you this, there is but ONE WORD that will make my blood boil and fill me with an anger that makes my head spin: VICTIM! Aside from those emotions, it hurts my heart, because I’m not that.

And recently someone decided to publicly call me that. The comments were nasty, untrue, and bordering on “threatening.” And they called me a “victim.”

There’s not many people who have called me that, in fact, I know of only two and those two people live unhappy lives and take their negative feelings about themselves and turn them on me. And the moment those two people called me that I wished them love and light and sent them on their way. The friendship had served its’ time and was done, because if you think that’s what I am then you have no place in my life. I will not surround myself with anyone that believes that of me.

I am not a victim, I am a survivor and proud of that.

I am a survivor of divorce, domestic violence, emotional abuse and breast cancer. I never once saw myself as a victim of any of these things because, while I never wanted to have any of it happen, I accepted them as life lessons. Those things happened to me so that I could learn from them, survive them, and use my voice through my writing to help other’s going through those situations.

Me? A victim?

Not by a long shot.

But there are those that play the victim themselves. They are martyrs and portray themselves as good people, when in reality, they are quick to judge and despise anyone who has something they want. They are jealous and insecure, and in reality, they are the ones who choose to be a victim.

And trust me, I’m not one of them.

I don’t have a perfect life, but it’s perfect for me. I have a wonderful man in my life and have five beautiful children, all of whom I’m very proud of. I am able to pursue my passion of writing every day of my life. I’m surrounded by some amazing friends who always have my back and see me as a survivor. My “bubble” is filled with the people that support me and more importantly, love me.

And none of them believe me to be a victim because they know I’m not.

I write about my past experiences in a positive light, hoping to let others know that they’re not alone, that there’s always hope, and there’s always a way to get through it.

I know that there are people who will judge me, but if you’re going to do that, make sure that you know me. Don’t see me through eyes of hatred and jealousy, see me through the eyes of “truth.”

“Survivor” is one of my favorite words. It means you had enough faith in yourself and your Higher Power to get through the tough times. Life hasn’t always been easy for me, yet I choose to be grateful for every day I wake up, for every experience, good or bad, that life hands me because in the end everything is a lesson to learn so that we can live the best life possible.

And once again I’ll say this: “If you can’t be kind, be quiet.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~