“It’s Right In Front of You”

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In this crazy world today, there are so many people looking for something more than what they have. They lose sight of what’s in front of them, and instead, look around and away from it and gaze out into the side. You know that old saying:”you don’t know what you had until it’s gone.” And it’s true.

It’s sad that so many people today just don’t get it. They could be in a perfectly good relationship,  yet as time marches on, the thrill and excitement become stagnant. And that’s their own fault because rather than focus on what’s right in front of them, they go looking to the side for something else. When they find that something else, they start comparing the “outside” to “what’s in front of them.” And I can tell you that doing that will end a relationship more quickly than you can imagine.

The reality is that in any relationship the emotions change as time passes, but that doesn’t mean that you need to lose sight of the passion you felt from the beginning. You’ve left the “honeymoon” phase and entered a more content, peaceful phase. And that’s fine, yet that can easily turn into someone feeling that they are being taken for granted. And no one wants to feel less than who they are; no one wants to feel as if they don’t matter; and no one wants to feel as though they aren’t loved anymore.

Relationships change with time, and my biggest teacher was my two marriages and divorces and an extremely hurtful relationship. I learned through all of them that it takes two people to begin something, and two people two end it. I don’t believe that it’s always a 50/50 partnership; there are times that one person has to give more than the other, and vice versa. And I learned that when you lose sight of what’s in front of you and start looking at what’s on the outside, the relationship is almost over.

And there’s usually no coming back from that. Once the damage is done, it’s done.

“Everything if forgivable but not always repairable.”

We seem to live in a world today where everything has to be perfect, always be exciting, and always be larger than life! But you know what? It never will be all those things all the time. Sometimes the most mundane, small things are actually the biggest things in a relationship. Sometimes it’s just a look into someone’s eyes or a touch of the hand that make you heart melt. It’s that last kiss goodnight before you close your eyes and the first thing you say in the morning to each other before you get out of bed. It’s the arms that know exactly when and how to wrap themselves around you to make you feel safe or comfort you when you’re sad. It’s the laughter of shared memories and silly jokes. It’s the deep, heartfelt conversations that take you one step further into a deeper relationship and understanding of who each of you are.

Small…mundane…but more precious than gold.

Relationships are like the ocean, sometimes rough, sometimes calm, yet always in motion. It’s a matter of weathering the storm until you can float on smooth waters. But the point is that you do it together.

Love isn’t complicated; it’s people who make it that way. Love is respecting each others’ feelings and embracing the differences. Love is wanting to be together, yet knowing when to give each other space. Love doesn’t clip your wings, it gives you the strength to fly. Love is the greatest gift between two people, and if you’re lucky enough to find love, always look directly at it, not off to the side.

Some people just like the idea of “love” and miss out on the reality of true love. And that’s how they lose sight of what’s in front of them; what they thought was love really wasn’t because true love doesn’t die, doesn’t wither away, and doesn’t become boring. True love grows by looking at it directly and not looking away.

Take a moment today to look at what’s right in front of you and stop searching for something better “off to the side.” Pay attention to the gift of love you share with someone, because while it may not always be perfect, it will always be “love.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“9/11 – Remember It All”

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Today is a day we always remember…we remember where we were, what we were doing, and how we felt at the moment that the first plane hit the tower. It was a rush of fear so strong through our country, and for those who had loved ones in the towers.

I remember that I was getting ready to take my fifth child, who was just two months old, to the pediatrician for a well visit. My other four babies had gone off to school. I turned on the news just as the second tower was hit. I think at first most of us weren’t sure what had happened or what was going on.

I drove up the Garden State Parkway, watching the trail of smoke in the sky. As I passed over the bridge in which I could see the NY skyline, I saw both towers on fire. I took my son for his check-up, and needless to say, it was somber in the office. My pediatricians’ son worked in the towers, and he hadn’t heard from him as of yet. In time I would learn that he was running late for work and was on the ferry when the planes hit. When I left the office, the towers had fallen. And my heart sunk, as I knew right then and there our country was under attack.

I was married at the time, and my husband was on a business trip in Washington state. He wouldn’t be flying home…he ended up renting a car and driving cross-country to get home to his family. He had just done work in the towers only the week before.

What I remember the most is the eery silence that followed that day, and for the days that followed. I remember my children coming home from school, asking a million questions, and me desperately trying to keep them away from the television. Yet I remember, even as young children, they needed to understand or do something. So, they gathered the other kids in our neighborhood and trekked to the corner, which was on a busy street. They stood with small flags and hand made signs of the USA, yelling to the cars to “honk your horn for the USA!” Such a small gesture, but one I’ll always remember.

The silence of no planes in the air was more deafening than a house filled with children; it was ghostly, scary, and unnerving, not knowing if there was more to come. I remember the smell in the air, even at the Jersey Shore…one you never forget.

Yes, it is a day to remember, to honor those lost, and the families living without them. It 9-11-neverforgetis a day to “never forget.”

Yet, while we’ll always remember the tragedy, we need to remember how a country joined together as one that day; how strangers consoled you; how neighbors were suddenly all huddled in the street together. We need to remember the feelings of togetherness that day, not just the feelings of the loss.

“Never forget the tragedy of 9/11, yet never forget the bond of a country, a neighborhood, a town, of strangers.”

Imagine if we all remembered that as well…

Wishing you peace today and always,

~Anne Dennish~

A makeshift peace sign of flowers lies on top John Lennon's "Strawberry Fields" memorial  in New York's Central Park,   Wednesday Dec. 7, 2005. The memorial is near the Dakota building where Lennon, a former member of the Beatles, lived with his wife Yoko Ono and son Sean when he was murdered outside the building.  Thursday is the 25th anniversary of his death.  (AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews)