selfishness

“One Chair”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

Years ago whenever my grandmother saw a two seater car she’d say: “That’s a selfish car. There’s only enough room for two people.” It was a funny thing to hear her say, yet as I’ve grown older I understand even more of what she was saying.

I’m that way with chairs.

My front porch has a table and two chairs on one side of the door and on the other side is two chairs with a table between them. I’m usually in one of those chairs and look forward to the people I love sitting with me in the other chair.

There’s not always someone sitting with me but there’s an empty chair just always waiting for someone who needs to use it.

When I see someone put only one chair out for themselves it tells me a couple of things. It tells me that they want to be alone, it tells me that they don’t want me sitting with them, it tells me that they never had a thought to how I was feeling and that I may need someone to give me a chair.

Sometimes we all need a chair. We need that second chair to know we’re not alone. We need that second chair so that we don’t feel lonely. We need that second chair to let us know that someone is just waiting for us to sit in it.

The second chair means that someone wants us.

The second chair means that someone loves us.

The second chair means that we matter.

And to me, when I see only one chair I see a person who is selfish, who doesn’t care about anyone other than themselves and a person who takes the people in his life for granted.

You can spend your life with only one chair.

But remember what that chair represents to those that love you.

And be mindful and aware that a day may come in which there won’t be that person to fill a second chair;  you will be there alone with one chair.

I love having two chairs on my front porch.

It’s my small way of letting the people I love know that they’re always welcome to be with me, that I love them, and that I want to spend time with them.

Chairs.

How many do you have?

I hope you have more than one.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

two chairs

“I Can See Clearly Now”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

 

 

Every so often I take a look at all the people in my life; the ones I trust and that I’m closest to. I take a good look and ask myself if I’m my true self with them or the self they need me to be. I ask myself if they bring out the best in me or I simply bring out the best in them. And I ask myself, am I a matter of convenience to them when they need my attention and love or are they there for me as well?

Those questions have been in my mind lately and I believe sometimes we have to look at the big picture because we find at that moment that we’re not living the life we need for our Highest Good. We’re in control of our happiness and in order to be all that we want to be and have the life we want we also have to see who we allow in it, because they have an impact on it.

I have a close knit group of people in my life and I’m always cautious when someone I don’t know well comes into it, whether it’s through a social circle or worse yet, through social media. I don’t take every friend request that comes my way, especially when I don’t know them or I know could cause a problem with my relationship.

So yesterday my eyes were suddenly open and seeing things differently, and I wondered why. Yet I knew why: the Universe wanted me to see and so that I could think about it and decide what I would do with what I saw and felt.

Communication between two people is key; trust is earned and maintained; and love is felt by actions, not simply words.

So as I rode in silence I heard the following questions:

  • Am I as much of a priority to someone as they are to me?
  • Do I care for someone more than they care for me?
  • Does my life revolve around all the people in it rather than it being on me?
  • Do they focus on me as much as I focus on them?
  • Do I support them more than they support me?
  • Does every conversation revolve around “them” and end when it begins to revolve around “me?”
  • Do they accept my feelings about something even though they don’t understand why I feel that way?
  • If they do something that hurts me do they do it again or do they love and respect me enough not to do it again, even if it doesn’t make sense to them.
  • Are they starting to find faults in me rather than positive things?
  • Do they put as much effort into me as they do to social media?

So many things to think about and I knew in my heart that I had the answers. And let me say that these questions pertain to all of your relationships, whether it’s a friendship, your family, or a relationship between two people.

And I ask to ask myself: Do they look different in my eyes now?

Now what do I do? What do you do if you find yourself in this position?

You take a leap of faith in who you are; you need to believe that you deserve to be treated as you treat them; and you need to communicate your feelings to them with love, kindness and respect.

And if you do these things and the response is not what you had hoped, then you’ll know the answers to your questions were right.

And that you need to turn the page in your book of life and move onto the next chapter…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~