relationships

“Finding Strength In The Struggle”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment
 I’d like to say that the week has gotten better but sometimes life throws you another challenge and it’s done that to me. This is a difficult journey for me, yet day by day I’m finding my strength and keeping my thoughts as positive as I can.

 

I believe that everything, even some of the worst situations, happens for a reason. There are moments that the Universe hands us a difficult situation to stop us in our tracks, to make us pay attention. It’s during those moments that we have to stop and see the truth of how we’re living our life. We have to look deep at our relationships, careers, and even our lifestyle.

It’s the ultimate moment of truth…and it’s your truth, not anyone else’s.

This journey is challenging, and I believe in the end it will be life changing for me. It already is.

Today is a new day and I embrace all that it has to offer.

And I’m sure that the biggest gift it will offer me today is “truth.”

And I’m okay with that.

After all, it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

challenge

“You Are Beautiful…No Matter What They Say”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

I’m always honest with all of you that follow me and I’m going to be honest now. You’ve all become “friends” to me with all your support and comments which I appreciate more than I can say.

I share my personal experiences with all of you in the hopes to make a difference to someone, yet there are moments in my life that it isn’t all sunshine and roses, as I’m sure yours isn’t at times.

So I’m going to get personal and honest with all of you: I’ve had a bad week. A really bad week.

I’ve gone through a few situations this week that hurt my heart so deeply that I’m having a difficult time getting past it…yet I know I will in time.

I have to process what’s happened, try to understand why, and figure out the lesson in it for me. Heartache happens to teach us something…and now it’s trying to teach me something.

I know what to do because I’m always telling all of you how to get through rough times…I’ve been down this road before and I know it’s a difficult journey, yet I know the process I have to go through to get to a better place.

I need to remind myself that anyone who hurts my heart did so because of their own issues. Some people hurt others because they’re feeling hurt themselves, or because they need to have that control, or because they’re simply abusive. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make it right.

And I let them do it.

And sometimes we just don’t know how to stop them from doing it, which is why I believe to my toes that if someone treats you that way you have to wish them love and light and let them go.

And it’s not easy.

So, yes, I’m feeling hurt this week and trying to figure out why it all happened and how to handle it.

 

And I have to remind myself that it’s not my fault, it’s theirs.

And you need to remember that as well and repeat this to yourself as often as you have to: “It’s not my fault.”

We don’t ask people to hurt us or be mean. We don’t ask people to abuse us verbally or physically. We don’t ask someone to treat us badly.

That’s their choice to do it and our choice to allow it or not.

What we can do is know our worth, know our value and not allow anyone to treat us badly.

We need to remind ourselves that we’re beautiful, lovable and important.

And they need to be reminded that “their words can bring us down.”

And they need to understand that hurtful words can be forgiven, but they will never be forgotten.

I’m as human as anyone else and wanted to share this piece of my life with you.

In the end, I’ll be fine.

It’s a process.

I guess you could say that “Anne Dennish” has another life lesson to learn!

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

beautiful

“Show Me Your Soul”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

The older I get, the better choices I make in who I allow into my tribe.

It’s true…so many people wear a mask and none of us ever know who someone really is until a situation occurs in which they show their true colors.

I want to surround myself with people who aren’t afraid to be who they are. I don’t want to spend my precious time with people who wear a mask just to be someone they’re not; with people who tell me what I want to hear instead of telling me the truth; with people who place more value on the attention they receive rather than the attention they give to others.

I want to surround myself with people who are true blue, who let the person they are shine through; with people who aren’t afraid to show me their flaws; with people who speak their truth to themselves and to others.

I want to see the heart and soul of another.

I want to see who they are.

I want to see their truth.

It’s only when we can see the heart and soul of another that we can see the truth of who someone truly is.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

see a soul

 

 

“On Being Lonely”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment
 It’s been such a sad week at hearing of the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Depression, mental illness, and worse than that, a feeling of loneliness…it attacks even the most strongest of people at times, rich or poor, famous or not. We’re all vulnerable at feeling such times of sadness.

Robin Williams said it best years ago that the worse type of loneliness is being with people who make you feel that way. And he’s right that being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world, it’s being with people you love that make you feel alone.

So today I want to say this to all of you: If you’re blessed to have people in your life that love you, care for you, respect you, and are always there for you then know how lucky you are. It’s a gift to have people like that in your life.

Be sure to let them know you feel the same. Don’t let the ones you love feel lonely. Give back to them all the gifts they give to you.

Think about it.

Stop what you’re doing right now and grab the hand of someone who loves you that may or may not be going through a sad day; wrap your arms around them in a loving hug; sit with them, share your thoughts with them, share yourself with them.

Be there.

Don’t wait for the day they’re not there anymore for you.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

robin williams

“One Chair”

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Years ago whenever my grandmother saw a two seater car she’d say: “That’s a selfish car. There’s only enough room for two people.” It was a funny thing to hear her say, yet as I’ve grown older I understand even more of what she was saying.

I’m that way with chairs.

My front porch has a table and two chairs on one side of the door and on the other side is two chairs with a table between them. I’m usually in one of those chairs and look forward to the people I love sitting with me in the other chair.

There’s not always someone sitting with me but there’s an empty chair just always waiting for someone who needs to use it.

When I see someone put only one chair out for themselves it tells me a couple of things. It tells me that they want to be alone, it tells me that they don’t want me sitting with them, it tells me that they never had a thought to how I was feeling and that I may need someone to give me a chair.

Sometimes we all need a chair. We need that second chair to know we’re not alone. We need that second chair so that we don’t feel lonely. We need that second chair to let us know that someone is just waiting for us to sit in it.

The second chair means that someone wants us.

The second chair means that someone loves us.

The second chair means that we matter.

And to me, when I see only one chair I see a person who is selfish, who doesn’t care about anyone other than themselves and a person who takes the people in his life for granted.

You can spend your life with only one chair.

But remember what that chair represents to those that love you.

And be mindful and aware that a day may come in which there won’t be that person to fill a second chair;  you will be there alone with one chair.

I love having two chairs on my front porch.

It’s my small way of letting the people I love know that they’re always welcome to be with me, that I love them, and that I want to spend time with them.

Chairs.

How many do you have?

I hope you have more than one.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

two chairs

“Time To Shift”

/ Anne Dennish / 7 Comments

When you replace “why is this happening to me” with “what is this trying to teach me?” everything shifts.

And that’s truth.

So often we find ourselves in situations that upset us and our first thought is always “why is this happening to me?”

And the answer is always the same: “Life is trying to teach you something about yourself.”

Now the work begins. You need to look long and hard at the situation and think about how and why it happened.

Did someone say something hurtful to you? Did someone make you cry? Did someone point a finger of blame at your for being who you are?

If the answer to any of these questions is “yes” then you need to still your mind, take a deep breath and ask yourself “why?”

And the answer to this is always the same: “Because you let them.”

You let them treat you less than your worth.

And what you allow will continue.

It always does.

And that’s what the situation is about. It’s not randomly happening TO YOU, it’s happening FOR YOU…the Universe is trying to teach you a life lesson. It’s asking you the tough questions: “Why would you let someone treat you like that?”

Most of us don’t know how to answer that except to make excuses for their bad behavior. It’s having a false hope that it won’t happen again and that they really didn’t mean it. It’s a false hope of believing that the person will change. It’s a false hope that they’ll say they’re sorry and mean it.

I’ve been in that position more times in this lifetime than I can count but I’ve grown as a person, become stronger, and believe that those moments of pain and heartache aren’t my fault. After all, no one does anything intentionally to another human being in the hopes that they’ll hurt you. Yet, it happens and I’ve learned that it’s happened because of their feelings, not mine. It could be their insecurities coming through, or it could simply be that they truly meant what they said. Only that person can answer that question.

And only you can answer the question of why you let it happen.

And only you can figure out the lesson it was trying to teach you.

Most often times those situations happen to remind us that we’re important, that we count, and that we are valuable.

They happen to remind us to love ourselves more, to be kind to ourselves and respect ourselves.

And they happen to remind us that we should always be kind, and if we can’t then we should be quiet. They remind us that no one should treat another human being badly, not matter the excuse or reason for the bad behavior. They remind us that we all have a heart and soul that can be easily broken, and when another human being breaks them it takes time and effort for the healing to begin.

And the healing begins with YOU when you understand the lesson that life hit you with.

And only you can change the situation.

And only you can stop allowing those experience to happen.

Forget about “why this is happening to you” and shift your focus and energy to “what is this trying to teach me?”

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

what is this trying to teach me

“Life As A Writer”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

I’ve been writing all of my life, since the day I could hold a pencil in my hand and learn to spell. It’s something as natural to me as breathing. When I was a young child my stories were nothing more than a few sentences and a crayon drawing at the bottom of the page.

Through high school and college I could be found sitting on the beach like a Bohemian hippie, writing lyrics and poetry. There were nights you would find me in the hallway of my dorm, hot pot of instant coffee and me sitting against the wall with a notebook writing through the middle of the night while all the other college students were asleep.

During my marriage and raising children I began keeping a journal about my feelings of being a wife and mom. I wrote poetry and journal entries which would become short stories.

I was always writing something.

Yet until a few years ago whenever someone asked what I did I would say I’m a mom. I was a Sunday School teacher, a soccer mom, PTA mom, Cub Scout leader and a Brownie leader. There was never a mention of “I’m a writer.”

It’s funny how you can write and write your whole life and never say you were a writer.

Until my first book was published.

Well, even when it was published I still would say “I write books.”

It was my close high school friend, Rich, that said to me one day: “Why don’t you say what you are? You’re a writer. You’re a published author. You’re exactly what you wanted to be.”

Wow…I never thought of myself as that.

And why?

There’s really no definitive answer “why” I never said it or thought it; I spent most of my life raising my kids, so to think of myself as someone other than that seemed like a foreign concept to me.

Yet the truth of the matter is that I AM a writer. I AM a published author. I AM a lyricist.

And I’m even more than that.

I’m a writer who uses her words to heal and help others and try and make a difference in the world.

Writing is a part of my everyday life and as much a part of me as breathing is.

And as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that I can use my writing to share my experiences with others; to help them through a difficult time; to let them know they’re not alone.

Writing is my voice that I want to be heard.

Writing is my heart reaching out to love the world.

Writing is my soul that shares it passion.

Writing is my passion and my dream come true.

Writing is the one way I know to reach out to people. It’s my way of helping, sharing and making a difference in one life and one day, I hope, the world.

My name is Anne Dennish.

And I’m a writer.

And it’s a very good thing…for me.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

meee1

 

 

“Podcast 3 – Stay Out Of My Bubble”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

“Be That Person”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

We’ve all gone through tough times in our lives.

Some people let those difficult situations make them a better person; they learn the lessons, heal themselves, and get back up on their feet even stronger.

Then there are those people that let those difficult situations make them a bitter person; they can’t see that there was a lesson to learn through the experience, they don’t or won’t heal from it, and they’d rather stay down than pick themselves up.

The better person learns to forgive and let it go; they continue moving forward, no matter what life hands them. They use their experiences to help others and love the world.

The bitter person holds onto the anger and refuses to forgive; they stay stuck in the negative emotions of the experience and can’t see all the endless possibilities that are outside of that time. They’re unable to love the world because their bitterness prevents them from loving themselves.

Which person are you?

Be that person that learns from the tough times and embraces the lessons learned from it; be that person who continues to love the world even if the world isn’t loving you back the way you want; be that person who keeps moving forward and uses the difficult times and the triumph of overcoming them to share with others.

Be that person.

I know that you can.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

be that person

“Strength And Weakness”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

I wrote this quote many years ago near the end of my 20 year marriage. As I began to heal physically and emotionally from all the turmoil of that, I realized that it was at my moments of anxiety, sadness or depression that he became strong. At first I thought he was showing true signs of kindness, yet in time I realized what was really happening: I was feeding his ego and he was starving my self-esteem. He felt like “the big man” helping the poor, defenseless, broken woman. The woman HE broke. The woman he was abusive to; the woman he told over and over again was stupid and ugly; the woman he told would never be loved by anyone.

And I believed him…until I stopped believing him.

Are you wondering how I stopped believing all that negative stuff he had embedded into my brain? I woke up. I realized that I had allowed him the freedom to treat me that way. I allowed him to speak down to me and allowed him to be disrespectful to me. So, one day I woke up and stopped allowing it, and when I did that the marriage was done and over with.

I went through years of healing myself mentally and emotionally, and of course it was with the help of many spiritual teachers and a wonderful tribe of true friends that I was able to. I’m grateful for each and every one of them.

I learned so much about myself and that loving myself first was the answer to preventing anyone anyone from treating me that way. You’d think it would never happen again, yet I’m human; we’re all human. Sometimes life brings you back to an experience that you thought you had learned the lessons from, yet life knows when you forget the lesson. And the Universe will put a similar experience back into your way until you wake up and realize that what you stopped allowing years ago, you’re allowing once again.

Even after that divorce I would find myself meeting someone whose ego was strengthened by my weakness, and for those that know me, they know I’m anything but weak. It would sporadically happen here and there throughout the years, yet now I’m much more able to recognize it when it’s happening. I’ve learned that those people lack control of their own life so they try and control mine; they lack self-respect and are unable to respect anyone else; they don’t feel strong unless they’re paired up with someone weak.

And I am no longer that girl.

I want to be treated the way I deserve and the way that I treat others: with love, kindness, compassion, consideration and loyalty, and I won’t settle for anything less. I want to be loved for the person I am, quirks and all, because I love the person that I’ve become.

We all have moments of feeling weak and that’s okay; it’s those moments that help us to find our strength again and stand back up on our feet even stronger.

We all have moments of finding ourselves back in a situation that we thought would never return and that’s okay; you’re given that situation to remind you of the lesson you forgot.

And we all find ourselves staring into the mirror, looking at ourselves and wondering how we got here and what happened to us, and that’s okay; keep looking in that mirror long enough and you’ll once again see the person you thought was lost.

It’s those moments of feeling lost that we’re actually finding ourselves again, and we’re finding an even better and stronger version of the person we once were.

Life is about balance and we all fall out of balance every so often. It’s when the world around us is spinning out of control that we see the truth of everything, and it’s in those moments that we find our balance again.

Don’t let anyone make you feel weak; surround yourself with people that make you feel strong.

Don’t spend your precious time feeding someone’s ego; spend your time feeding your self-esteem.

And don’t rely on anyone loving you the way you want to be loved; love yourself that way first and the rest will fall into place.

Everything in your life begins with YOU.

Stop allowing what you don’t want to continue.

Forgive yourself when you forgot a lesson you learned and continue moving forward.

And love yourself.

If you do nothing else, love yourself.

Anything and everything is possible if you begin with love.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~strength and weakness