relationships

“On The Outside Looking In”

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invisible me 3

There are times in my life when I feel like I’m on the outside looking in and I know in my heart that it’s okay to feel that way, because:

“Sometimes you need to step outside of your life in order to see what’s inside of it”.

Do you ever find yourself getting lost in the midst of your day to day routine? Getting lost among your loved ones, finding yourself wondering who you are anymore? Are you a mom, a wife, a “life partner?” And where are “you?” Where did you go?

It’s not a conscious decision to be on the outside. It just happens. One day you wake up and don’t feel like yourself; you feel like you’re “on the outside looking in.” At least for me that’s how it happens. And there’s no time frame for it; you feel that way for as long as it takes to see and learn what you need to, and it could be a day or two, or longer.

Sometimes amidst the routine of loving and caring for my nearest and dearest I suddenly find myself wondering where I went to…where am I in all this. It seems like everything is about everybody else, but not me.

I feel like no one notices me unless they need something, and tempers are shortened when I’m not doing what I should be…for them. I spoiled them by doing it all, and I love doing it all, but I also love being loved and cared for by THEM. I want them to spoil me just a bit, I want them to notice my feelings, I want them to reassure me of their love and commitment to me as much as I do to them. I don’t want to be taken for granted.

Yet on the other hand, I believe that being on the “outside” is most often times the only way we can observe our life; it’s the one way we can be objective by looking in from the outside at each person and each situation; it’s the best way we can see what is or isn’t and learn from it.

It’s the best way to see ourselves objectively.

And that’s when the lessons are learned.

We observe the behavior of others towards us; we see how they’re treating us and how we’re reacting to it. We see what the truth of our relationships are and what they aren’t. We see our strengths and our weaknesses, and we can see whether or not we’re speaking our truth.

Often times we find ourselves on the outside when we’re holding too much inside; we’re not speaking our truth for fear of the outcome. It’s that fear thing holding us back and keeping us on the outside.

I’m looking from the outside at all the excitement everyone around me is having; new adventures, exciting opportunities, and movement, yet I’m not a part of it. I’m here, in a life of laundry and cooking, responsibility and reality.

I’m looking at this girl I once knew who had one adventure after another, more excitement than she knew what to do, and an appetite for life and all it had to offer. Life slowed down on her, and she stepped back and she stepped into solitude; the woman who’s life revolves around every one else’s became invisible to those she loved most.

Yet, it was her fault. She allowed it, she contributed to it, and by not speaking her truth, those around her never knew how she was feeling. She had hoped that they would; but they didn’t. And I guess in the end,  it doesn’t matter, because that’s what being on the outside is about, and she knows that it’s up to her to get back to the inside.

So, here I sit on the outside, observing, making decisions, and making big changes. I want those adventures again; I want to feel the excitement of my passion again; I want to be me again.

And so I will. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even being on the outside, and once I  get back to the inside I feel that my life will be even better than it is now.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

outside looking in

“The Heart Of A Woman”

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malibue-anne

“A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.”  ~excerpt from Titanic~

I love the movie, “Titanic,” and every time I watch it there seems to be another message jumping out at me…and today is no exception.

A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets, yet it’s not secrets of lies or deception. It’s secrets of emotion and longing, of wanting and yearning, of love and of pain. It’s secrets of protection and secrets of loyalty; it’s secrets that protect the ones she loves and secrets that break her heart.

A woman’s heart is as fragile as glass and as strong as steel. It has the power to heal and the power to help. It controls her mind and nourishes her soul. It’s the most important thing we as women possess, yet it can also be the most dangerous. It’s our heart that knows the answers long before our mind does.

Our heart holds our secrets; it holds the pain we feel and keep hidden from those around us. It holds our dreams of the future and our memories of the past; it holds all that we want but are too afraid to ask for. It holds every detail of every moment and every picture that our heart has ever taken. It holds the pain of loss and the healing of grief. It holds both tears of joy and tears of sadness.

It holds the secrets we keeps hidden from the world so that we can be present in each day. It holds the secrets of our past so that we can move forward. It holds the secrets of our future so we can still dream. It holds the secrets of each day so that we can move onto the next one.

A woman’s heart holds her soul because a woman’s heart IS her soul.

“A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets” because it holds  all that we were, all that we are, and all that we hope to become.

Wishing you love and light,

~~Anne Dennish~

deep ocean

Photo by Anne Dennish – copyright @2017

“The Gift In A Sunrise”

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aaaaa

I believe that everything happens for a reason and this morning was no exception. My love had to be up at 4 am this morning, which meant I was up with him! Once he left I grabbed my coffee and sat down at my laptop, my usual morning routine. As I was trying to piece together an article, I caught a glimpse of the sky in my backyard. It was no longer pitch black, but getting brighter. I knew that meant one thing: the sun was coming up.

I haven’t been up for a sunrise in awhile, and the thought crossed my mind to go down to my “happy place” to see it. It’s still freezing here, but I decided to throw on my big red coat, grab my coffee and camera, and head out. I was so afaid it would rise before I got there, yet as I pulled into the marina parking lot, I knew I still had time.

The sky was a burnt orange color reflecting off the water. It wasn’t windy like it has been herebbbbbbbbbbbb for days, but a gentle breeze blew strong enough to make ripples across the water. The seagulls and ducks were silhouettes against the sky and as I sat there I thought how incredibly lucky I am to live near the water, and how grateful I am that I was up to see this awesome show in the sky.

I’m so drawn to this beautiful area that I call my “happy place.” It’s the place I go to think, to listen and to just “be.” It’s the place that holds beautiful sunrises, sunsets, and amazing glitters of sunshine across the water throughout the day.

It was a perfect Monday morning and a great way to welcome in spring. The weather is still cold here at the Jersey Shore, but spring has definitely sprung! My heart is warm with this beautiful gift of the sunrise this morning and I know that any day that starts out like this will hold some endless possibilities.

Everything does happen for a reason, and sometimes even the earliest of mornings and latest of nights can bring a beautiful surprise or two into your life…you just have to be open to seeing it all.

Happy First Day Of Spring!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

All photos by Anne Dennish – copyright @2017

 

“The Man In The Moon”

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man in the moon

It’s amazing what you can see when you look at the moon; it’s amazing what you can see when you allow yourself to believe in something bigger than facts and reality. It’s amazing to understand that there is life after death, and even more amazing to hear and feel your loved ones after they’ve passed.

It’s a gift to believe, and a gift of comfort, yet for some, if not most, fear prevents those very things we need to feel that comfort from coming in. Fear keeps us in the facts, unable to fathom that there is a spiritual world and spiritual realm outside of that. Fear of the opinion of others’ thinking we’re crazy because we can see and feel things that they can’t keeps the door from the other side closed, when in reality, we want to keep it open.

So we start with baby steps; we open it a crack. We want to see and believe, but we want proof. And trust me, proof is there, but it’s the programming of our human mind that tells us it couldn’t be so.

But it is…it is absolutely so.

I’ve lost many people I’ve loved throughout the years, and two in particular in the last few months. Did I cry over their passing? Absolutely. I cried at MY loss, not theirs. I believe that the other side, which I believe to be Heaven, is the place where they are whole, they are young, and they are not in pain. Why would I cry over them being in a better place? Why? Because I miss them; their passing changed my daily routine and changed my life; it left a void in my life and an ache in my heart. I miss them because I want them here. I want their voice, I want their touch, I want their human connection.

But the human connection is gone, and thanks to my many spiritual teachers throughout my life, I’ve learned that while a human connection is personal, a spiritual connection is even stronger, and will last until our last breath. A spiritual connection means that they know the answers to the questions; they have our back as our guardian angel; they see us all the time and come to visit at the times we need them most; and that their love for us was made stronger on the other side because of our love for them here. Love is the strongest emotion there is, the one that gives us strength; the one that fills us with light; the one that can never be taken away. Love is truly all we need.

On the other side we don’t need to call on them, they always know when to come. They come through our dreams, our thoughts, our memories; a familiar smell or favorite song; they come through a laugh and they come through a smile; they can even come in the moon and the stars, the ocean and the mountains. It’s your love here on earth that keeps them connected to you in heaven. Love never dies with a body; love lives on within the soul.

The messages of loved ones can be heard when you can still your mind and believe that when you hear them, it’s truly them speaking. When you feel a random touch, it’s them. When a tear rolls down your face thinking of them, it is they who dry it. When you feel scared and lonely and miss them so deeply, it is them that brings you a memory to think about to lessen your loneliness.

Talk to them; listen to them; feel them and love them. Miss them all you want, because they understand, yet they want you to know that they’re okay, and that you will be too. Love isn’t meant to be painful; love is meant to bring joy and peace. They understand your missing them, but they also know it’s through missing them that you talk about the memories, and that is what keeps them alive. That is what keeps their spirit alive, and it’s their spirit that you carry within you. On earth they were in your presence; in heaven they’re in your soul.

I’ve seen the man in the moon with his silly smile, his loving eyes and his tilted glasses on his nose; I’ve seen the woman in the stars with her arms stretched out to hold me; I’ve heard my friends in the sunrise and the sunset with their voice of reason and tone of reassurance; I’ve felt the touch of my loved ones as a gentle breeze blew through me.

I’ve seen them all and they were all at peace.

And they wrapped me in all the love they have for me…now and forever.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Lyrics by Anne Dennish – Music and Vocals by Sutton Thomas 2016

“Come Out Of Your Closet”

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closet 2

At one point in our life or another, we’ve lived in a closet. Not the typical stereotype closet, but a closet of “fear and secrets.” It’s the closet we stay in to hide these things from the outside world, hoping that what they don’t know won’t hurt us.

Yet staying in the closet is hurtful, because it hurts you. The closet prevents you from accepting who you are and standing in your own truth. It stops you from taking a leap of faith and moving forward.

There’s many different reasons we stay tucked in our closet of protection: we could be hiding our sexuality, or the truth of being battered and abused. We hide our emotions in the closet, for fear of having our heart broken or taking the next step in a relationship. We hide our depression or anxiety, or our addiction.

We hide our passion or talents in the closet, for fear of failure. We hide our dreams in the closet, for fear of ridicule.We hide our true self in the closet because the opinion of others means more to us than the opinion of ourselves.

The reality is that the closet allows you to hide your truth, a truth which may be judged by others, and the judgement may be cruel.

And the closet keeps you in a comfort zone, which in reality, may not bethat comfortable at all.

I’ve hidden in my closet off and on throughout my lifetime, and the one thing I learned is this: “coming out of my closet” allowed me the freedom to be me. I stepped out of my closet of fear and took a leap of faith in myself and my Higher Power, having faith that standing in my truth would bring all the right people and situations into my life, and allow me the insight to know the wrong ones.

“Coming out of my closet” gave me the freedom to pursue my dream and passion of writing, and it gave  me the ability to find the right kind of love with someone…the love of a lifetime.

Don’t hide in the closet; embrace who you are and step out into the world with all the beauty and light that you have to offer. Let the world celebrate your gifts with you and cry with you over your pain. Let the right people in who will love you and help you heal and let go of the ones who won’t.

Stepping out of the closet is healing for you, and can be healing for someone who needs it. Stand in your truth and take accountability for your fears; and then release them with love. There’s no moving forward with fear; there’s only moving forward with faith.

Take a leap of faith today and “come out of your closet;” you may be surprised at who and what is waiting there to catch you.

“Just believe, just have faith, everything else will fall into place.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Taking The Next Step”

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next step 5

I can’t stay stagnant, I need to move forward, otherwise I begin to feel restless…and bored. I’m not saying that I’m always on the move, I just mean that when I feel comfortable in one of the many steps I’ve reached along my lifes’ journey, I know that it’s time to “take the next step.”

For instance, my writing. It took me two years to write my last book, “Waking Up,” and it was published last year. I took the time I needed during that “step” to promote and market my book, write song lyricss, produce a CD of songs, perform and speak in public, be interviewed, photographed and the list goes on. Now that I’ve accomplished the comfort of that step, I need to move onto the next: writing another book. And I’m working on two as I write this.

Jobs are the same…I know of people who absolutely love their job, mastering all the skills they needed to feel confident and comfortable, then one day they realize it’s getting boring and they want to move forward and move up in the company…they are ready for the “next step.”

Relationships are no exception. They are an endless amount of steps from beginning to date, to falling in love, to committing yourselves to each other, to living together to… well, that would be another “next step,” and that’s a tough one if you aren’t both on the same step (or page) at the same time.

Now to the heart of the matter: why do some people never take the next step? Why do they sit in the “comfort zone?” My answer would be this: fear. They’re afraid to do something uncomfortable or “out of the box.” They’re afraid of the “next step” not working out or changing their life in a way they may not want. They’re simply afraid to have faith in themselves to take that leap of faith onto “the next step.

Or they simply are content with a less than exciting chance at their life changing by taking the next step. These are the ones that I say “take things for granted.”

I’m not one of those people. I love my love and am very content with it, yet I know that it’s only a matter of time before that contentment turns to discontent and boredom, and I try never to let that happen.

If you’re not moving forward in your life then you’re standing still…on that “same step.”

I’m ready to climb the whole staircase, one step at a time, but I’m not willing to sit on the next step 2 and next levelsame one for the rest of my life. I want to reach for more, do more, and experience more in this lifetime of mine. I want to stay on the staircase of life, but I want to climb the steps when the time is right…and for me, the time is now.

 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“A Blizzard, A Bother, And A Blessing”

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winter day timeline

Photo by Anne Dennish – copyright 2017

It’s going to get a bit crazy here today at the Jersey Shore: we’ve got a blizzard coming tonight into tomorrow, with promises of over a foot or more of snow! The roads and stores are packed with people trying to stock up on food and batteries; all the necessities when you’re “snowed in” and have the possibility of losing power.

Yet as I look out my window this morning, the sky is blue and the sun is shining brightly with no hint of a storm approaching. It’s the typical “calm before the storm.” There’s still a hint of snow on the ground from our small snow storm last week, and I have to say, it looks beautiful with the sun shining upon it. Last night the full, orange moon rose above the trees and illuminated the white stuff on the ground. It looked magical!

That’s the thing, you can find magic and miracles everywhere, even in the midst of a blizzard coming…you just have to keep your eyes open.

I know it may get a bit rough here when the storm hits, yet I know that being snowed in with the ones I love so much isn’s such a bad thing, in fact, it’s a rare occasion that we’ll all be here together at the same time. And should we lose power? Well, there’s always conversation around the fireplace.

Keep your eyes open today…look around. You’ll be surprised at what you can see with an open mind and heart. Change your perspective on what seems to be a bother and watch how it becomes a blessing!

For those of you in the path of this storm, I’ll be keeping you in my prayers to stay safe!

Wishing you love, light, magic and miracles,

~Anne Dennish~

open your eyes

Photo by Anne Dennish – copyright 2017

“The Will And The Way”

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There are days you may feel like you can’t do it anymore; a day when you feel as though no matter what you do, you can’t seem to get where you want to be or have what you want to have. Yet, it’s on those days that I have to remind myself that “if there’s a will, there is always a way!”

Obstacles will always pop up in our lives, yet there is always a way around them. On the days you feel as though you don’t have the strength,  simply relax, take a breath, and get some sleep, and know that it won’t be like that forever…just for the day.

Here’s to a day of “having the will and finding the way!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

will and wayPhoto by Anne Dennish – copyright @2017

“The Gypsy”

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sunflower fields

I  believe that we all have an inner gypsy, and I’m missing mine these days. You know what I’m talking about, that “roll down the windows in the car, hair blowing in the wind, radio blaring, bare feet,  that free kind of feeling.” It’s your inner gypsy and mine has been silent for too long.

My inner gypsy is the girl who dances barefoot in the grass under the full moon, spinninggypsy in circles and releasing all that stuff that no longer serves her; it’s the girl who dances in public, no matter where she is; it’s the girl who flies by the seat of her pants some days, not knowing where she’s going to land; it’s the girl that takes a leap of faith and leaves a life behind to find a better one; it’s the girl who remembers how it feels to be happy and has the nerve to find her happiness again. It’s the girl who was brave enough to find herself again after she had been lost for so long.

I used to be a gypsy a long time ago. These days my “inner gypsy” has been tamed by life and responsibility, but someone came along that reminded me of what I had forgotten.  Sometimes all it takes is one person to come along and make you remember…

“She was embedded in a life for over a decade, yet a few months ago she suffered a loss in her life, and what she did after that shocked and surprised many of us…she left the life she was living. She packed her bags and moved far away, landing in a place surrounded by family and friends, and she never looked back. She woke up one day and realized that all she had in her life wasn’t nearly as much as what she wanted in her life.

She wanted something different; she wanted something new. She longed for excitement and yearned for a sense of peace. She wanted her freedom and the right to make her own choices. She wanted a different life and wanted to be the one in control of it.

And so she did…she left her old life behind and began a new one. She’s finding her joy and her happiness again, step by step, day by day. She embraces the sunshine of a cold winter day, walking and watching all that is around her. She drifts from place to place, landing among those she loves most. Every day brings something new to her and every day she seems to be happier. She found adventure again, and embraces each day and the endless possibilities it has to offer.  She’s a free-spirit in a realistic world and it suits her. She doesn’t settle for less, but searches for more. She doesn’t smile because she has to, but smiles because she wants to. Her happiness comes from within her, not from around her, and while her heart may still be a bit broken over the loss she suffered, she’s putting the pieces back together as only a gypsy can do: in her own way, in her own time.”

I’m blessed to know and love this gypsy; she made me remember a lot of things I had forgotten. She forced me to see beyond my own self and look inside for that “inner gypsy” I once knew. She allows me the privilege of sharing her “inner gypsy” with me and I’m grateful for that, because what I had forgotten she enabled me to remember.

Find your “inner gypsy” and embrace her for all that she taught you and all that she will…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“On A Winters Day”

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winter-1

Yesterday seemed to be one of the coldest days this winter here at the Jersey Shore. Wind chills were blowing way below zero and everything was freezing over…even my “happy place.” Most people would choose to stay indoors, seeking refuge in the warmth of their home. So many of us wait for that first day of sun and warm weather, yet there is beauty to be found here, even in the dead of winter.

The trees haven’t bloomed yet, no flowers are sprouting from the earth, yet if you open your eyes and  mind you can see something magical even in the winter. It’s not a time of “greens and florals,” but a time of frozen tundra and icicles. It’s a beautiful and magical time of year, if you can believe it to be.

“Beauty” is a funny thing; most have a pre-conceived notion of what “beautiful” is, and that usually entails near perfection. Beauty makes us feel good, brings a smile to our face, and allows us to feel joy, yet I can tell you that beauty is to be found everywhere. It can be found at the edge of a frozen river; it can be found in the blue skies of a cold day; it can be found under a tree not yet bloomed, but is perfect to see a sunrise through.

I’ll admit, I love the warm weather and all that it brings, yet until it takes up residence at the Jersey Shore, I choose to embrace the winter and all the beauty that this “once a year” season has to offer. The view is different than it will be in a few weeks, even months from now, yet that is the beauty of the seasons: the distinctive change in the things we see every day. And that’s the perspective I’m talking about: the ability to see the “beauty” in everything.

Here’s to a day of finding “beauty.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

happy-place

Photos by Anne Dennish – copyright 2017