I woke up this morning, looked into the mirror and said, “What happened to you?” If you’ve been following me you’ll know that I’ve been in a strange place in the last few weeks and I’m not talking about location. I’m talking about my mindset and feeling lost, needing a routine and needing a kick in the pants to get back to where I was with my writing.
So it was no surprise that the girl I saw in the mirror was a bit disappointed in me. It’s as if she was saying “Why’d you let this happen to you? Get back to doing things that make you feel good about yourself and make you feel happy.” And she was right.
I got to thinking about the last few weeks. I’m a girl that loves to wear make-up yet I haven’t had any on in weeks. I didn’t see the reason to put it on if I wasn’t going out. I usually get a pedicure every few weeks but didn’t see the importance of it right now. I haven’t listened to much music lately because I didn’t feel the need to dance.
Now there’s something to think about. Why was that? Why wasn’t I still doing all the things that made me feel good about myself? Was it just because I moved? Was it because I wasn’t working? Was it because I wasn’t going out as much?
Yes and no.
And as I thought about it I changed my mindset. I shouldn’t have to have a reason to do what makes me happy and feel good about myself. I should be the reason.
Suddenly, it all made sense. Circumstances and location shouldn’t matter. Nothing should matter except that it makes me feel good and if I feel good then I can do more good for others. If I’m happy I can share that with the world.
Take my advice and my lesson learned and “do what makes YOU feel good,” no matter what. I’ve realized how important of a piece these things are for me in getting back into a routine.
“You don’t need a reason to do the things that make you feel happy and good about yourself. YOU are the reason! And YOU are a very good reason.”
It’s only Monday and I’m feeling incredibly happy and peaceful. There’s something wonderful about a “staycation.” I believe that the Universe is trying to tell me something and showing me a different side to my life, one that I haven’t lived in over a year and a half.
And I’m remembering it.
I remember how wonderful it felt to be home, to be writing at all hours of the day and night, to chat on the phone, to cook and clean. I remember how wonderful it felt to be home and not tired, to be home with time to talk to my friends and get together for lunch, to be home with my family.
I’m using this time to think about my life. I guess you could say I’m writing a list of my New Year’s Revelations…all that I’ve learned throughout 2021 and all that I don’t want to repeat in 2022.
And I’m grateful that I have this time to think about it all.
I’m sure there will be changes, some difficult and some easy, but I’m making decisions that are for my highest good. Decisions that will enhance my life and make it a life that I want.
Onward to changes. Onward to writing a list of New Year’s Revelations. Onward to doing what it takes to live your best life.
“Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath every feeling there is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.”
I don’t know who wrote this but it sure did make me stop and think about it. I’ve gone through some difficult situations which is why this made perfect sense to me. Our behavior IS the result of our underlying feelings about something.
For example, let’s take a couple with two very different views on their relationship. One person may get upset when the other isn’t sharing information with them or gets defensive when asked a particular question. The behavior is getting “upset,” the feeling beneath that is “feeling left out and hurt,” and the need is “to be included.”
And then there’s the reaction of the person that doesn’t feel the need to share the information or answer the question. The behavior is “anger,” the feeling beneath that is “feeling controlled,” and the need is “to be trusted.”
What a brilliant concept and one that makes perfect sense to me. None of us are perfect yet if we look at the big picture of not just the other person’s behavior’ but our own as well, so much pain, anger, and sadness could be avoided. It’s a chance for healing of the heart. It’s a chance to grow closer together through communication and understanding. And it’s a chance for positive change.
Behavior, feelings and needs. Meet the need rather than focus on the behavior. Deal with the cause, not the symptoms. And above all else, be kind to each other while you do.