“And Then There Are The Other Heroes”

There are many heroes out in the world today keeping us safe, taking care of us and trying to keep life going, yet I believe there is another hero we don’t give credit to and that’s our children.

The definition of a “hero” is: a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

And I admire my children, your children and the youth of the world who are living through these uncertain times right along with us. They are heroes as well.

They’re quarantined home just like the rest of us, they can’t see their friends or family, they can’t go to school and for some, there will be no senior class trip or high school/college graduation. Imagine what they’re feeling and thinking. Imagine how WE would feel at that age.

I look at my 18 and 22 year old in amazement. I’m empathetic and can feel what they’re feeling and think to myself that I would have gone crazy at that age being stuck in the house with my parents and siblings! It truly would have driven me out of my mind. Yet here they are, just like the rest of us: quarantined.

None of us have ever seen something like this in our lifetime and I hope that we never do again, but here are our children. They’re young with an entire lifetime ahead of them and look at their lives now. They’re quarantined just like the rest of us, but the difference is we had that life and freedom at a young age and right now they don’t. As adults we can sit here in quarantine and wonder what life will be like after it’s over. They are just beginning their lives, thinking about what they want to be when they grow up, or where they want to live. They’re looking and planning towards a future that is uncertain. Imagine all those thoughts that go through their minds. I imagine them when I see that look of boredom on their faces, or the sadness over not seeing their friends. I imagine them when I talk to my kids who live across the country and can hear the sadness in their voices or a tone of disappointment knowing that the life they started on their own is all changed. All of them were laid off from the jobs that they loved because of the quarantine. They all comply with the orders that we’ve been given, including wearing gloves, masks and social distancing. I have to say, it breaks my heart to see pictures of my kids wearing masks. 

I love my five children with all that I am and when this quarantine starts to get to me or they start to drive me crazy I remind myself of how it must feel for them. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel so bad for me and I understand about their bad days because I remember all the fun and freedom I lived through as a teenager, the times that they can’t right now.

My kids are handling it better than I would have expected. They’re constantly watching out for me because I’m “high risk” and there are days they put my well-being above their own. They’re making the best of this quarantine and doing what they can to laugh, smile and have fun together…and they even include me!

I have to believe that they’ll come through this stronger and with an even deeper gratitude for freedom and life than they had already had.

There are many people out there that are “heroes,” and I count my kids among them.

Here’s to my five kids, your kids, and the youth of the world: “Thank you for handling this as well as you are. I know it’s not easy, but thank you for doing what needs to be done. You are my hero!”

In the end, we’re all heroes for staying home and saving lives by doing so.

Hang in there…you’ve got this!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~your_custom_beautiful_quotes_here (1)

“When Tensions Run High”

When one person lives alone during a quarantine, they can get lonely.

When one person lives with a few other people during a quarantine, they can get frustrated.

We’re living in uncertain times right now and I know that social distancing and staying at home can get to some people because I know it gets to me every now and again, especially living with three other people.

Patience is definitely a virtue and one that is tested, sometimes on a daily basis, when you’re living with other people, but that doesn’t mean that it will turn into a battle…unless you let it.

I’m used to being alone most of the day so having three other people in the house with me 24/7 has definitely disrupted my routine and there are moments I want the television turned off and the computers turned down. My patience is tested when one has a problem with another, or one stays up all night when the rest are trying to sleep, or when one always has the volume on high while others are reading or resting.

So, what do I do?

I remind myself that this is a gift. It’s a gift of “time” to spend with the ones I love, time to relax with them, laugh with them, and talk with them. I remind myself that I’m blessed to be here with them and am reminded to reach out to friends and family that are home alone.

I remind myself that “flaws are flavorful” and that none of us are perfect. 

I remind myself that lack of sleep will test even the most patient person and that having a roof over my head, food on the table and a bed to sleep in each night will definitely put things into perspective.

And I remind myself that when tensions are running high and patience wears thin, I can go outside alone to sit under the stars or in the warmth of the sun. I can find a quiet spot in my home to sit by myself and find my balance again or I can put on my headphones and listen to music.

I remind myself that what is going on outside of my front door and in this world right now is far more important than the tensions that my flare up now and again or the patience that wears thin. We can change those things.

And the only way we’re going to change the outcome of this virus is by staying home.

I know it’s hard sometimes but it’s important to remind yourself that “you’re not stuck at home, you’re safe at home.”

And if you’re lucky, you’re safe at home with the people you love.

Stay calm. Stay safe. Stay home.

Love the ones you’re with and reach out to the ones that are alone.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Sometimes Life Has A Different Plan”

I heard this quote the other day and have been in love with it ever since…because it’s so true. We keep holding on to the life we planned, even if it doesn’t work out the way we wanted it to. We hold onto wanting what or who we can’t have, hold onto the life we want for our children that had other plans, and even hold on to the career we wanted so badly that we couldn’t accept wasn’t meant to be.

We hold onto the dream of what we wanted, when in fact, there is most often, a better and bigger dream just waiting for us…and this is why I love this quote.

I thought I would be married to the same person forever…life had other plans.

I thought that all of my children would live close by…they had other plans.

I thought I would be living a much different life than I am now…life is teaching me patience. 

So, you see, we all need to let go of the life that we planned that isn’t happening the way we had thought or wanted and open our hearts and mind to the life that is waiting for us.

It’s just waiting for you…

It’s just waiting for me…

Let’s sit back, have faith and let it happen.

I know I am.

I hope you do, too.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Photo by Anne Dennish @2020

 

 

“You’re More Than You Believe You Are”

You go through life as a wife, a mother, a husband, lover, and the title of the career you have, yet sometimes we forget who we are. I’m not one to “label” myself or anyone else, but the truth of the matter is: we are who we are.

And we shouldn’t limit ourselves to being just one thing; we should embrace all that we are.

And we are so much more than we believe we are.

And a few days ago I was reminded of the person I love to be: a writer.

Life can get busy and as you know, I’ve spent much of the last month on vacation, on location, and spending time with my kids. I’ve done some writing but not as much as I would have liked.

I’m still in the throws of cleaning my flooded basement and getting some rest from endless weeks of traveling. Laundry is getting behind the eight ball and dishes are piling in the sink. The refrigerator needs to be refilled and doctors appointments need to made.

And then something important happened…

I had a lunch meeting with a client I’m ghostwriting for.

And I was reminded of something I love to be: a writer.

And it was an incredible feeling.

I felt reborn and back on track. I felt energized and ready to create and write.

Throughout our meeting of note taking, working, talking, and organizing, he said one thing to me that made all the difference in the world: “I leave this all up to you, after all, you’re the writer.”

Really? I am? I know I’m a mom, a significant other, a friend, daughter and sister, but a writer?

Well, sir, yes I am!

It’s not that I forget that I’m a writer but I forget how it FEELS to be a writer and that feeling is one of passion. I forgot how the passion feels, how incredible it feels, and how awesome it is to be doing what I love to do every single day of my life: WRITE!

I was exhausted after all the traveling and cleaning in the last few weeks, but today I felt rejuvenated. All that tired energy left my body and I felt as though a very high energy replaced it…and I’m so grateful that it did.

Sometimes we all need a reminder of that feeling of doing what we’re passionate about.

Sometimes we need to be reminded that we’re so much more than we believe we are.

I’m grateful for that meeting.

I’m grateful to be able to write every day.

And I’m grateful to remember what it feels like to be a WRITER!

Take a moment today to remember all that you are…because you are so much more than you believe you are!

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Photo courtesy of Rob Contreras

 

“The Thanksgiving Table”

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I’m getting ready to bake pies, chop vegetables and make cranberry sauce. There will be seven people around my table tomorrow and I can’t help but think of the “Thanksgiving Tables” of all the years gone by.

I remember a time when there were more than 15 people around the table, and all the many others that filled the house after dinner for dessert. It was filled with my aunts and uncles, cousins, parents, my grandmother and children. It was a time of sitting together and watching old home movies, of listening to the older ones’ stories and lessons and of running around the house with the cousins.

Children grow up and move out on their own and loved ones get older and pass away. Each year there seems to be one more person missing from the table.

Only three of my five children will be at the table tomorrow. My two oldest are across the country and spending it with their significant others families. I’ll miss them terribly but I am forever grateful knowing that my other three babies will be with me.

Yet when I sit down at my “Thanksgiving Table” tomorrow I will remember those days of holidays past and I will remember the loved ones that I lost.  I will remember the laughter and the stories they told, their faces and the warmth of their embrace. I will remember their colorful personalities and their presence and importance in the family. I will remember sitting at the “kid’s table” until we reached the important age of sitting at the “big table.” It was a rite of passage to graduate to that table.

My brother used to say “I wonder who will be missing from the table next year.” I always thought that was a terrible thing to say, but he was right and it taught me to embrace each holiday and each day with the people in my life because life truly is short. I’m learning that lesson more and more as I get older. I don’t look at the table and wonder which chair will be empty next year but look at the table filled with the blessings of family, of love, and of laughter. It’s a day of making memories and we carry those memories in our hearts forever. We may lose a loved one, but we can never lose the memories of them.

There may be only seven people at my table tomorrow but I will be seeing much more than that. I’ll be seeing all the “Thanksgiving Tables” of my past and the people that once surrounded it. And for that, I will be grateful.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Gratitude For The Memories”

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One of the things I’m grateful for are the memories I hold deep within my heart: the memories of the birth of each of my five children; the memories of birthday parties and Christmas mornings; and the gratitude for the memories of the emotions that I felt.

Fits Like A GloveI’m grateful for the memory of the feelings of a first date and how it felt the moment I fell in love; for the memory of the excitement of a first kiss; of the feelings to be held in the arms of the one you love for the first time.

I’m grateful for the memories of my kid’s tiny hands in mine; for how wonderful it feltRuthless People that I could fix a boo-boo; for the moments of watching them sleep when they were younger; for the memories of their laughter when they were little and the laughter as they grew older.

I’m grateful for the memories of family parties filled with aunts, uncles and more cousins than you could count. I’m grateful for the memories of my school days and for the nights I spent with my best friends.

tommy-memorialI’m grateful for the memories of my loved ones that have passed on; for the love that I still feel for them and for the love they felt for me; and I’m grateful for all the memories of time spent with them and the difference they made in my life.

I’m grateful for the memories of my first book being published; for the memories of howbnwindow1 it felt the day I submitted my manuscripts to the publisher; and for the memories of the moment that I first held my new book in my hands.

I’m grateful for the good memories that are embedded deep within my heart and soul. No one can take that away from me and on the days I feel a bit sad it’s those memories that can wash that away.

Good memories are stronger than any bad ones.

Today I sit remembering all those wonderful memories and for that I’m grateful.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Stay Out Of My Bubble”

I’m up much earlier than usual and the moment my eyes opened,  my mind was filled with a million and one thoughts. The last seven days have been filled with a whirlwind of emotions, from happiness and contentment to sadness and heartache. Last night the proverbial “black cloud” lifted, yet this morning all I can think of is: Why did this happen and what does it all mean?

I’d like to say that I didn’t see it coming, although what I didn’t see were the exact situations coming, yet as an empath and intuitive person, I knew something wasn’t right. I could feel something “not so good” coming soon. I didn’t know my exact emotions or what or who would be involved, but I felt an uneasiness down to my toes. I knew that something was going to happen…and it did.

No matter the feelings I was experiencing, I went on with my life as usual. I felt content and happy, yet no matter how much writing, cooking or mindless tasks filled my day, the feeling was still there. And it all blew and came to a head a week ago. Each situation happened without warning and I was blindsided as to “what the hell happened.” I knew I didn’t do anything terrible, although my habit of talking too much and repeating things certainly didn’t help. Yet still, I knew all of this wasn’t caused by me.

So there I was, caught in the middle of the madness, in the middle of not understanding “why,” and in the middle of emotions and situations caused by outside forces. In other words, toxic people and negative energy got in. They got into my happy little bubble and caused pain, heartache and sadness. But how do you keep all of those negative things out of “your bubble?”

I used to despise the word “bubble.” I’ve written about “life in a bubble” years ago, and never portrayed it as a positive thing. You see, during my second marriage my “then husband” became jealous, suspicious, negative, controlling and toxic. He watched my every move, both in and out of the house, listened to every phone call I made, and broke into my emails and social media accounts. I hated it because I wasn’t doing anything wrong; it was all in his mind. The marriage ended sooner than it began and I used to say “I can’t stand being in this bubble he put me in.” And at that time, the phrase fit. I was in a bubble of all negative things and I was drowning.

I don’t see it that way anymore, and that’s because throughout all the years that have passed since that time, I’ve grown as a person, understood my emotions and myself more, and have been on an incredible spiritual path…one of learning and understanding. I learned to surround myself with positive people and to keep my distance from the toxic ones and the dark and heavy energy that hung onto them. I began to see my life as “a bubble,” yet it wasn’t a bubble of control, it was a bubble of safety. It wasn’t a bubble that kept me a prisoner, but one that kept my loved ones and me safe. It was a bubble filled with love and joy, happiness and peace; a bubble filled with good people and positive energy; it was a bubble filled with all things best for my Highest Good.

Some may call it their “circle” around them; I choose “my bubble.”

Last night the black cloud lifted and this morning I find myself feeling a bit more at peace, yet I know that there’s work to be done, questions to be answered, and healing to begin.

You see, outside influences can sneak in to our minds, causing us anger, frustration and pain. These influences can come in the form of a job, a boss, a co-worker, a friend, a family member, or they come in as what they are: toxic, negative, and filled with dark energy. We begin to feel all these negative emotions because of them and release all that dark stuff onto those around us: those they live in the bubble with us.

It’s human behavior and sometimes life sneaks up on us and takes control where control isn’t needed or wanted.

We are in control of what we allow and what we feel, yet when we allow outside influences to affect our relationships in our life, trust me, there will be a reaction, and not usually the one you want.

I couldn’t understand where all the anger was coming from because it wasn’t coming from me, yet after a week of it the truth came out: an outside influence got in. My peace came from knowing the “truth.”

Surround yourself with all that is good; keep all your relationships strong with love and joy; speak and feel your truth and share it with those you love when it becomes overwhelming to you. Build your “bubble” with love, joy, happiness, truth, peace and most importantly: positive energy and positive people.

And last but not least, to all of you outside influences that are nothing but negative and toxic, I have but one thing to say to you: “STAY OUT OF MY BUBBLE!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Podcast 1 – Getting To Know Me”

“Which Path Do I Choose?”

There are times in my life that I find myself standing at the crossroad of which path to choose. It happens just as life is going along calmly, and it happens to change my path, offer me a new opportunity or simply to shake things up. It happens because something in my life needs to change, and while the change may be difficult, it’s necessary to move forward, take the next step, and live a better life.

I’m right at that point now. My career as a writer is taking me in directions I never thought possible and with these changes are decisions to be made in my life. I’m conscious of my life and the life that surrounds me. I pay attention to the signs I’m given by the Universe and I feel the emotions necessary to feel when faced with differences of opinions in my private life.

There are moments when the page we were once on together in a relationship change…one person stays on the same page while the other turns it. It doesn’t mean the end of the relationship but it brings change and sometimes the change isn’t what we had wanted but becomes a change of what was needed.

“Do I take the road known or the one less travelled and follow my heart?”road less travelled

I never take the road known because it offers me nothing more than the same thing over and over. I will always follow my heart and take the road less travelled because I trust my Higher Power, the Universe, and more importantly, I trust my intuition.

So I sit here now, thinking about the life I’m living in now and wondering what changes need to happen. What decisions need to be made? What do I need to do to move forward? How do my loved ones and I get back on the same page?

Life is changing for me and some of those changes can be a bit scary, especially when I don’t know how they’ll change my life, yet I have to trust my Higher Power and listen to my inner voice…my intuition. I need to pay attention to the life and people that surround me. I need to focus on myself first and believe that everything else will fall into place.

After all, I believe that “everything happens as it should, when it should and how it should.”

I don’t have all the answers to the questions, or even know what changes need to be made right now, but I do know which path to take and today is the first day of this new journey.

And I believe that it will be an amazing adventure.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Photo by EvnFlo Photography – 2017

 

 

 

“Getting Your Balls Back”

I once put two brass balls in a plastic bag and gave them to my girlfriend. I told her that if I ever lost them again to give them back to me.

I was a different woman then than I am now when I went through my divorce. It was over 10 years ago and that woman I was seems so foreign to me now.

I remember that at that time I made many changes in my life; I had lost weight, been college booksworking out at the gym, and had gone back to college to take creative writing courses. I was invited by my professor, a published author as well, to join his writer’s workshop. It was the best time of my life, yet also the darkest time knowing that there was a divorce to go through.

Yet I was strong. All those things I was doing for “me” gave me the strength to endure a nasty divorce. I felt good about myself, I felt like my brain was functioning like a writer, not just a mom, and I was in great shape. I will always believe that my Higher Power had directed me to all those positive changes to make me stronger, because He knew what was just around the corner for me.working out

I thought at that time that my children would feel like their mother had “left the building” because I was doing a lot of things, good things, for me. Yet that wasn’t so. I remember them being so proud of me for all of it, and I realized that all the things I did for myself were making me a better “mom” to them. What a feeling and what a lesson to learn. Sometime we “mom’s” think that if we’re doing things for ourselves that our children will suffer. So not true. It made my relationship with my kids even stronger, and to hear them brag to their friends about their mom going back to school and writing a book was one of the best moments I ever experienced as their mother. My oldest son loved the fact that I was working out and used to joke with his friends that “they better watch out because my mom can beat you up!” So simple, yet so empowering.

And that’s when I realized and learned that doing good things for me isn’t selfish. It made me a stronger and better woman and mom, and all that good stuff spilled onto my kids.

Sadly, it didn’t spill onto my husband. He hated it all. I look back objectively now and see that he may have felt threatened that this woman he controlled for over 20 years suddenly had a mind and body all her own, and she did it without him. I actually did it because of him.

Everything happens for a reason and I look back at that time and truly believe that all those things I did for myself were put in my path to make me strong, because once the divorce process began, my world changed. And it was all that I did for myself that helped to get me through.

It was sad enough that the marriage had been abusive on all levels, yet the divorce was even worse. The details aren’t important but the outcome is: I’m a different woman now and living in a happy life with two of my five children and the love of my life.

Yet there were times I lost my strength during it. I was a single mom taking care of the mental and physical well being of five children; I was the woman dealing with lawyers and sitting through mediations, which were a waste of time. I was tired, lonely, and so wanting it to be over.

My serenity at that time was in the backyard of my girlfriend. I could shed my tears there, talk for as long as I needed, and could always count on her shoulder to cry on. I remember one day she looked at me and said “where’d your balls go? You’re such a strong woman but not now? You gotta find your balls again, girlfriend.”

And so I did. I put two of them in that bag and told her to give them back to me if I ever lost them again.

And I never did.

Well, to be honest, there are times I feel weak and ready to give up, but I always remember that bag of balls that she still has and that’s enough for me to get them back.

And I always do…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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